two

this post is just to expand how i got into SHINee. 

so i have been a fan of kpop for about a year and a half already. it started when i was a football fan. i was such a big football fan that i would buy tickets to see games live, and i would go to their hotel whenever they visited los angeles to get autographs. i even went to the stubhub center to see a closed practice of my fave team.

i still love football, but those days are kinda over for me. it happened in june 2016 when kpop consumed me. 

i had gotten tickets to see mexico play at the copa america which was going to be hosted by my country, usa. one of mexico's games was going to be played in my city.

so i got tickets.

it was a great tournament. mexico did well in the first round of games. but then it was the fourth game against chile and only one would continue.

chile humiliated mexico, 7-0.

i cried really hard that night. i remember being so sad.

so the very next day i was scrolling through twitter and i saw gifs of luhan. from there, i fell into this hole called kpop.

in november i started writing my fic "lotto" which is about exo, but features other groups like bts, nct, and shinee. i put shinee as exo's main allies in the story because i knew they are good friends in real life.

because i wanted to be pretty accurate about their personalities and stuff, i started watching countless videos of shinee.

minho was my favorite instantly, its evident in "lotto". every time shinee is mentioned, minho always talks. but then i grew really attached to jonghyun. he became my second bias because i just loved his smile, his voice, and his caring personality. he was such a wonderful man. it was easy to fall in love with him. i remember telling one of my friends that jonghyun was so close to taking minho's spot in my heart as shinee bias.

i fell in love with shinee's music and added it to my spotify playlist. and then i added all of jonghyun's music as well.

up until just last week i was watching videos of them.

even four days ago i was thinking particularly about him. i was wondering if he was doing well, for some reason. 

and now this happened and he has left us.

but he will live in our memories. someone once told me that people are not truly gone if the people who loved them still think about them.

due to that, i know jonghyun will live in our hearts.

-clary