Alyssa's POV:

It's been a month since their death, I miss them so much,Sky is recovering from the trauma,it has affected him greatly, he was really close to his grandparents,

I let him crash with me whenever he wanted to, he is my boyfriend, he needs me, I will do whatever I can to help him out in his darkest times, he is such a nice guy,

I feel at home with him,no drama no games, no lies, he isn't afraid to show his vulnerable side to me, he trusts me and that makes me so happy.

People don't understand him, I don't know why they don't get along with him, he is different I know, sometimes he gets too extrovert and sometimes a total introvert,

it's alright I have major mood swings too, we both are messed up and we complete each other, he needs me and I need him.

I was taking a bath while thinking and scrubbing my body, I was done, now applying some lotion, a knock,

"yes", "may I come in?", I smiled, "yes", he enters with his boyish half smile, his baby blue eyes sparkling at the sight of my towel wrapped burrito body,

he gulps visibly, boys!, "you can come near me I won't bite", I teased naughtily, he came closer, circling his hands around me,

"damn you are so hot when you are so cold", I chuckled, I just took a shower, his humor makes my day,

he gently moved my hair to the other side, nuzzling in my neck, sending shivers down my spine,

his hand moving upwards downwards on my right arm, he kissed my neck, slowly then building momentum, he twirled me around, picked me up in a swift, pushed me against the wall,

"now Sky we talked about this", I said trying to balance myself in his hold, he was still busy in assaulting my neck area,

"I can't wait Alyssa, you are irresistible", I know ... but I am a virgin, I didn't let anyone come near me my entire life, I was saving myself for only one man, call me conservative or something, I don't care, I just can't picturize myself doing it with every person I date,

"Sky no", I said in a shaky voice, he was unfolding my towel, I anxiously got out of his hold, he was shocked yet aggressive I guess,

his eyes were burning but he quickly concealed it and came forward, I was looking down while adjusting my towel,

"don't you love me Jane?", he asked rather in a hurt voice, I looked up, "I do, I do Sky but I told you before, not until I am comfortable with it, I am sorry but I can't",

" we are official aren't we?", "we are but it's not that simple for me, I am scared alright", I didn't lie I was, once in my childhood one guy tried to be wise with me, I trusted him, now It's hard for me to trust a guy, he once said,

'you have to do it, Alyssa every boy wants it, if you don't then they will leave you', but they still leave when you give it to them, and I can't move past it, it's haunting me,

I feel sick when I get close to someone, I tried in my life, I was comfortable with J, he never pushed me to do it,

I get scared if someone forces me to do it, I am trying to be strong, I really am but I fail eventually,

"Jane you listening?", I blinked my eyes a couple of times, "I asked you something?", "what?", I was a little lost,

"I said don't you trust me on this", "I do but I don't trust myself alright please don't mind it and please don't make me do something I don't wanna do", I explained, he was staring at me, a little differently,

"Ohkay if that's what you want", he said plainly and walked out on me, "Sky wait, Sky", good going Alyssa now he is angry, stupid girl, give the man what he wants he is your boyfriend for Christ's sake, understand his need.

but J never minded it, my mind whispered, Argh I can't come up with a final result, I wore my dress, I paused, there was a red blotch on my neck, great.... I went out, room was empty, I was thinking of ways to make him happy again,

he is pissed, this is the third time he made a move on me and each time I denied the offer harshly, I am so cruel, it's a strike, whose side you are on mind,

think Alyssa think, cook something for him, I heard steps, he approached me, " I know how we can solve this problem", he said politely, I was a little confused, he bent down on his knee,

"Jane will you marry me?", he smiled widely, I was speechless, what should I say, I can't just say yes, it's too soon, weird sensations erupted in my body, the room started to fade away,

I control myself, my hands were feeling sweaty, "it's too early", I whispered cautiously, his smile dissolved slowly, he turned his face towards the ground,

stood up, I grabbed his arm, "Sky wait please listen to me", "what should I listen, your answer said everything, I don't mean a thing to you",

"that's not it Sky please don't be mad", " I know what it is Jane, you don't have to hide it, I know I am your Carlos's rebound", wait what...,

"what's this have to do with Carlos?", "It was always about him and you, I was just a temporary boyfriend to you, he is the real thing, you will do what everyone else does, leave me and live on with your happy life, who in the hell wants to pass life with a psycho like me", he said while turning his back to me,

"I have no future, no life, no family, I came in this world alone I will go alone", he said in a heavy voice, I really hurt him, I hugged him from behind,

"I will never leave you Sky I promise, it's not you it's me, I am so sorry I hurt you, you are not a rebound, I will never use you in such a manner, don't you trust me, I love you", I turned him, cupped his cheeks,

"I am not going anywhere ever, I am yours and you are mine", his eyes were teary, his lips were quivering,

I felt so bad for him, "I will marry you if that's what you want", his head jerked upwards, he smiled,

"you will?", he asked with his shaky voice, I wiped his tears away, I can't make my life stable so why not make someone else's worth living,

I will give him what I didn't had, that is peace, belonging, trust and a home. He will live in my heart, I am ready to settle for good,

he kissed my forehead and placed his ring on my finger, he showered kisses on my hands, then he pulled me for a long one on my lips, he was really happy,

after it he combed my hair and braided it, I felt so loved, I didn't know he knew how to braid, he even massaged my legs, placing soft kisses every now and then on my toes,

it felt like a dream, being pampered like a queen, it was a soul calming experience, atleast this time I didn't make a bad choice,

I don't remember when I fell asleep, I woke up, feeling the cold side of his bed, where is he?, it was perfectly smooth, he didn't come to sleep at all, I got up and went out our bed room,
soon to be that is,

I had a perfect smile on my face, I was crushing on my future husband, he was so nice to me, all those cute moments start to pop up in my mind making me blush more,

he was in a real hurry, he said he couldn't wait much, so we both decided we will tie the knots after tomorrow, I have to buy a dress, don't I .....

The library door was open, I could see the fire place burning, I silently tiptoed my way, to surprise him that is,but I stopped when I heard him talking to someone, some part of me wanted to listen, be careful popped in my mind,

"I am getting married after tomorrow, finally we will be together", I peeped in saw no one, he was talking to himself, I was confused, is he drunk, he looks like he is, then I saw him leaning on the table,

I silently gasped, he was taking drugs, sniffing some white stuff that we see on crime shows and stuff,

"I am happy, I love my life, I always get what I want, ain't life a blessing", he was happy or sad I couldn't tell,

"Oh Jane Oh Alyssa oOPs Jane shush, she will hear you haha", he was jerking around, I was frozen at my place, I didn't tell him my secret, how did he know,

"Oh Jane my sexy Jane My poor Jane, you are too innocent", he was drinking now, I didn't know he was this much of a drunkard or druggie,

"I love you so much, you care for me, can't wait to make you mine, mine she is mine, you lost Carlos she is mine, haha she was too easy, our impulsive doll, depicted my own given bruises and I triggered her hate, you asshole didn't deserve her", I felt my cheeks getting wet,

"he played me", I whispered, impulsive I heard the word, it was like everything disappeared again, I lost again, I was once again fooled by people,

I thought I dodged a bullet again but I guess I shot myself with my own hands,

"Jane Jane plain Jane I love you so much, I can't wait to play house with you", I felt shivers rushing in my body, this man is mad, I can't marry him, I can't, I just can't .... he is a liar but aren't you too I was going go tell him,

take a grip Alyssa for once stop fighting with your own demons, first battle the real ones, I have to flee right now, I saw him wasted on the couch, this is my chance,

I quickly but cautiously went to the living room towards the door, it was locked, his door makes a squeaky noise whenever someone opens it,

oil it Sky, maybe later, I like it's noise all his words were adding up, was he using double meanings, if he was then he is freaking dangerous, I should be careful, the living room window was open, I jumped out of it,

Another escapade, I forgot my phone in his house, forget it, I retreated the key hidden in my flower pot,

I remembered Carlos's smile, he knew.. a tear escaped my eye, he knew me too well, I went in, locked the door, started gathering some stuff,

I bent down to get my bag but it was gone, where is it?,, now I was scared, was he planning all this,

nice bag, you want it?, sure may I, unbelievable I just gave it to him, few months ago, what was I thinking, So I searched for an extra bag, weird conversations were playing in mind, my mind started to analyze our convos,

now is not a good time to be a critic! Alyssa, snap out of it, luckily I found Chloe's bag buried deep in my closet, I just took some clothes, changed into jeans and a hoodie, some necessary items and pulled the mattress up for my money but it was gone too! wtf I was robbed or .....

I groaned silently, this can't be, my envelope it's gone, then it dawned,

I saved some at a different point to, I pushed my dresser aside, there is a small vent box behind it, I thought it would be more safe and grabbed the small rectangular box,

it was a little heavy, I silently slided downstairs and went out the back kitchen door, I ran at first, fast as I can without a pause, my skin was goose bumpy,

my heart was throbbing like crazy, I felt like vomiting but I concealed my drastic feelings,

I saw the bus coming, I climbed it, a little relieved I felt when it started moving, I adjusted the hoodie head after tying my hair, I had one place in my mind right now,

I have to reach San Francisco somehow, my body was feeling numb, running away again huh Alyssa, whenever you start feeling comfortable life struck you hard again,

just glad that I woke up before the trauma not after it, my vision was getting blurry again, I was used and fooled really hard, he didn't love me if he did he would have told me about his addiction and the stunt he pulled with Carlos and my friends,

Carlos oh Carlos I am so sorry, they tried to warn me but I shut them out every single time, I deserved all of this, it was all knitted by me, my web of doom,

I got off at a stop and waved for a cab, "where to boss", the old guy said, "to the airport". I want to see my father.

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