Start song: crush by tessa violet

it's sort of long but not really?

His mom had never really been invested in his social life, sure she asked him about his friends occasionally but considering she knew everyone he hung out with there really wasn't a reason for her to question who he was hanging out, because really; he didn't have many options. He was even happier that she'd never really asked him about girlfriends or boyfriends either, considering she had always been much more interested in knowing about how his basketball team was doing.

In all honesty he liked it this way, he liked how impersonal all of their conversations were. Which in the long run made him very uncomfortable talking about himself because mostly, when he talked to his parents he told them things about other people and not so much about himself.

So considering everything, he figured he'd never have to have another one of those awkward talks about wether or not he was seeing someone, Tyler thought he had a pretty good poker face, and he was also sure that he was consistent as a person in terms of smiling and happiness. Generally, he thought he was acting the same.

So when his mom did ask him if he was seeing someone at breakfast one morning, he kind of gaped in surprise at her because what was giving her the impression that he was in a relationship? He hadn't ever mentioned anything, that was for sure.

"Huh?" Tyler said, just to make sure he'd heard her clearly.

His mother sighed and took another sip of her morning coffee. "Any girlfriends?" She asked again. Tyler paled, it was almost painful to hear. For a moment he considered lying and just telling her yes he was dating Jenna actually, and yes they were very happy but that seemed like an awful idea and an awful situation to put himself into.

Considering that he was sort of seeing someone and if he did use Jenna like that (Because yeah, that would definitely be using her) he'd then be stuck in a lie.

Tyler awkwardly looked at his bowl of oatmeal and scratched at his head not willing to look at her as he replied. "Uh-No. I do not have a girlfriend." He gazed up, looking at the wall behind his mom. "I don't have time for a relationship like that."

"Boyfriend?" She asked next, completely unbothered. Just curious.

"Mom."  Tyler groaned, blushing as Josh came to mind. He was beyond embarrassed and definitely not ready to come out despite knowing his parents were far from being homophobic. He wasn't scared he just didn't want to have to worry about it. "I'm not seeing anybody,"

"Sorry." She smiled. "Just wondering."

"Well you can stop wondering." He sighed, slightly annoyed. Honestly why did it even matter? Even if he did have a boyfriend (He sort of did?) or a girlfriend, why would it be anyone's business but his and his partners especially if they were keeping their relationship a secret.

"Well i've got to head to work, your dad should be down soon. He said he'd drop you off at school this morning." His mom said as she grabbed her car keys off the counter along with her coffee.

Tyler sighed, he did not want to spend 15 minutes in a car with his dad. But, it was better than walking to school, that would take a long time and he'd definitely be late even if he left now. "Great." He smiled at his mom. "Have a nice day at work, love you."

"Love you too,"

*

Surprisingly, Tyler wasn't getting bombarded with school work currently so when he got to school, he was feeling pretty great. His classes were actually slowing down as they learned new material and subjects. Meaning he wasn't stressed, which ultimately led him to staying big more often than not. Not that he necessarily needed to be stressed to fall into his headspace nowadays, just one look from Josh would make him feel tiny.

Josh just had that whole dad thing going on, not that he was an actual dad, which Tyler couldn't actually confirm but he figured that Josh didn't have any kids unless Jim counted.

Josh was some type of stern soft dom and Tyler couldn't even begin to comprehend it. It wasn't anything scary but it was more like being around Josh grounded him and made him feel more at ease. It also made him feel like a tiny baby who wanted his daddy to do everything for him. Which, despite admitting that he thought of Josh as his daddy to Josh, he still wasn't sure if he'd actually be able to address him as such when he wasn't little.

Maybe their dynamic just didn't work like that though, which was totally fine. Josh didn't always have to be his daddy, he could just be his daddy when he was small. Ultimately, It was all very confusing.

*

By the time lunch came around Tyler
was still annoyed about the whole relationship situation. Why did his mom or anybody for that matter care more about his relationship status then he did? He'd honestly never understand. Which was why upon arriving at his usual lunch table he had to mention it.

"My mom asked me if I had a girlfriend this morning." Tyler said as he sat down for lunch. Ashley was nowhere to be seen  so he figured she'd went out to lunch with Lynn but luckily? Brendon and Dallon were both here and very much wrapped up with each-other. Tyler hadn't seen them this cuddly at school since the first time they'd had sex. Which Brendon had given him way too many details about.

He definitely didn't need to know where they did it, what position and who topped and he also didn't need Brendon mimicking the sounds he made when he orgasmed. That had been too much and even Dallon had been flustered and had promptly covered Brendon's mouth with his hand in horror.

Today, Brendon's legs were across Dallon's lap and Tyler had a feeling that if they weren't at school Brendon would just be sitting on him. When he sat down, Brendon grinned. "Don't you?"

"N-no." He said, he had a boyfriend? maybe, not really. Okay but sort of, Josh counted for something right? "Not to my knowledge." He said finally, hoping it didn't come out as shakily as he felt it did,

"I mean you are gay," Brendon shrugged and popped a piece of pizza into his mouth. "but you do seem like that type to find a girl to be your beard."

Tyler blinked, slightly offended but also it was kind of hard to be when he'd had the thought of Jenna being his beard this morning. "Wow, thank you so much. I'm really feeling the love."

Dallon flicked Brendon's forehead. "Oh, shut up." Dallon smiled at Tyler while Brendon shoved him in retaliation. "You'd never pull some shit like that."

"Yeah because I already-" Tyler slapped a hand over his mouth. He needed to be more careful.

"I knew it!" Brendon yelled and pointed at him. "You're seeing someone."

"Please stop." Tyler said.

"Leave him alone Bren." Dallon said. "If hes seeing someone, he doesn't have to tell us."

"The only person i'm seeing is my bed." Tyler said. Kind of getting annoyed by how pushy Brendon was being. He loved the guy, he really did but sometimes he just wanted to slap him.

"Hm. Are you a top or bottom?" Brendon asked. Tyler flushed.

Dallon flicked him again. "Why are you even asking?"

Brendon turned to his boyfriend and grinned. "If he has an answer it'll prove he's not a virgin which means he's seeing someone."

"That's so dumb. That literally proves nothing, it just proves he thinks he has a preference already."

Tyler just sat there, staring at them both. Brendon was actually being so stupid. "Oh my god, i'll see you later you idiots." Tyler groaned and stood up, quickly packing his untouched lunch. He was hungry and if he stayed at this table he was going to lose his fucking mind. He could not deal with this anymore, not that he didn't want to eat lunch with his friends but yeah, he didn't want to eat lunch with them right now.

"Where are you going?" Dallon asked, curling his hand around Brendon's waist.

To see Josh is what was on the tip of his tongue but instead he said. "Basketball." As if it was a valid answer even though Dallon and Brendon knew he definitely didn't have practice today. Yeah, this was going to raise suspicion but coming up with a better kid than that just didn't seem needed. They didn't need to know where he was at all times.

Brendon laughed. "I'll text you."

"I really hope not." He yelled from across the cafeteria. Which was, yes, a bit dramatic but really being friends with Brendon at all was dramatic so he was bound to do a few dramatic and unnecessary things by association.

*

He immediately regretted his decision once he was halfway to Josh's office. This wasn't his best idea by any means, it was just generally suspicious for a student to be seeing a specific teacher so often but considering he was struggling in english class it sort of made sense that he kept visiting Josh's office.

He was there before he knew it and just standing in front of the open doorway, peaking at Josh who was very focused on whatever he was doing. Tyler almost wanted to leave.

"Um, Hi?" Tyler knocked on the door cautiously even though it was open, lunchbox in hand. He felt that regret again, he had no business trying to spend time with Josh during school hours. Still he couldn't help himself.

Josh looked up at him and smiled softly when he realized who it was, Tyler had only expected him to be annoyed. "Hey Tyler, whats up?"

"Uh-" Tyler looked behind him, there were students everywhere. He carefully closed the door behind him and stepped inside Josh's office, Josh frowned. Tyler scratched at his head, his cheeks flushing. This was probably a bad idea. "Can I eat in here today?"

Josh hesitated for a moment and Tyler was ready to leave, already reaching for the doorknob but Josh ended up nodding before gesturing at the arm chair. "Um, yes, yes of course."

He sighed out a gentle. "Thanks." and sat down on one of the arm chairs, remembering the first time they'd been in here. The way Josh had squeezed his hand the first time and the way Josh had let him sit in his lap the second. He blushed and let his backpack fall to the ground so he could rummage through it for his lunchbox.

Josh spoke again. "Not that I mind you being here, but is there any reason why you're eating lunch here instead of with your friends?"

"I just wanted to see you." Tyler pouted, he was joking but he didn't miss the way Josh smiled fondly at him and he definitely didn't miss the way Josh's cheeks went a little pink. "And my friends are annoying me," Tyler shrugged, sheepishly keeping his eyes on his food.

"Wanna talk about it?" Josh asked, looking at him softly.

"They-Uh, think i'm seeing someone." Tyler blushed, cautiously looking at Josh to gauge his reaction. He didn't want Josh to think that he'd told them anything though because he was sure that would upset him considering they weren't really doing anything wrong. "And so does my mom?"

Josh wasn't mad at all though, he chuckled, eyes bright. "And are you?"

"I-," Tyler huffed, averting his eyes. "Well you count don't you?"

"I hope so."

"No, yeah. um-" Tyler was at a loss for words, completely flustered for a reason he couldn't comprehend.

Josh grinned, saving him from any more embarrassment. "Want to watch netflix or something? i've got papers to grade. Not that I don't want to talk to you but i've got some things to catch up on."

Tyler nodded, just being here was enough, they didn't really need to talk. "Can i chose anything i want, like it won't bother you if it's something violent?"

"You're a big boy aren't you?" Josh asked, tapping his fingers against his desk in thought.

Tyler nodded carefully. "Mhm." that small-ness he felt around Josh really shining through. His age regression was starting to feel so indescribable and slightly uncontrollable lately. Being around Josh wasn't difficult or anything like that, he just found it hard to focus on anything else but him and their weird dynamic.

Josh grinned at him in a way that made him even shyer. "Then there's your answer." He paused. "But if I think it's affecting you negatively, you'll have to find something else."

"Okay, I can deal with that." Tyler said and stood up, approaching Josh.

"I hope so." Josh grinned and pulled macbook out from one of the drawers of his desk. He then passed Tyler his laptop carefully, making sure Tyler was holding it properly before sending him off to the arm chairs again. Tyler curled up immediately and set the laptop in his lap, glancing at Josh when he noticed the man had opened a tab for Netflix and was already on and open on the profile they'd made for Tyler last week.

It was quiet for a little while, not uncomfortable. Tyler scrolled through netflix and tried to find something to watch while he ate his peanut butter sandwich and Josh really was busy grading papers but Tyler could tell he was distracting him and he felt kind of bad that he was getting little right now. He was probably making Josh worry.

"M' don't know what to watch." He sighed eventually, he only had thirty minutes left of his lunch break before he'd have to go to class, which ironically his class after lunch was english.

Josh chuckled and leaned back in his chair, smiling at him fondly. "Understandable, there's a lot of options and not a lot of time."

Tyler gently closed the laptop and place it on the small coffee table Josh had in his office. "Maybe i'm just picky."

Josh hummed. "Are you done eating?"

"Not yet." He was a really slow eater sometimes, and today was one of those times.

"Wait, aren't you gonna eat lunch?" Tyler frowned, realizing that Josh wasn't using his lunch break to actually eat lunch.

"I already did, don't worry about it sweetheart." Which sounded just as unconvincing as it looked, Josh was an awful liar clear by the way he immediately averted his eyes. Which was weird, wasn't Josh supposed to be the most responsible one? Just because he had a lot of work to do did not mean he got to skip out on meals.

Yeah, so Tyler was gonna worry about it. He rolled his eyes and grabbed the other half of his sandwhich. "Just because you're supposed to be taking care of me doesn't mean that I can't take care of you." 

"Honey, that's your food, seriously I can go buy something from the cafeteria before class." Josh said, mildly flushed.

"No way, here." Tyler placed the plastic container on Josh's desk and went back to his backpack despite Josh's protest. Tyler ignored him, was this allowed, they didn't even have rules. He searched for his wallet and when he found it he shoved it into his back pocket and smiled innocently at Josh.

"I'll be right back." And he ran off before Josh could tell him otherwise.

He expertly snuck around his usual lunch table and made his way over to buy food. The line for the cafeteria food was short and Tyler ended up being very unsure about what to get Josh, so he kind of just stood there and surveilles his options. He hadn't really thought this far ahead, he kind of just acted on instinct and his instinct was that he needed to buy his daddy food so he could be happy and full for the rest of the day.

He knew that he would want chicken nuggets and a grilled cheese but maybe Josh would want something more adult. They had pasta? Did Josh like pasta? Didn't everyone. Oh but maybe he wanted pizza? Or maybe a burger and fries. He could also just buy him dessert but he had the sneaking suspicion that he might get in trouble if Josh thought he considered a piece of cake as lunch. What about a hot dog. Tyler sighed, this was impossible.

He approached the cash register and the man there frowned at him. "What can I get you?"

Tyler gulped, prepared to lie his ass off, which he definitely did. "um- do you know what Mr.Dun usually gets for lunch?" He paused when the employee looked at him, very confused. "Me and uh-a few other students wanted to do something nice for him since he's our favourite teacher, so......they sent me over here."

"Josh Dun?" The employee asked. His name tag said Logan. Tyler honestly hadn't seen him before.

Tyler nodded nervously, hoping that his lie actually made a little bit of sense.

Logan shrugged. "He usually gets a burrito, coffee and a salad."

"O-Okay, well i'll get all of that." He said. That would probably be all of his own lunch money but it's not like he ever used it on lunch anyways. Normally he just brought his own food despite his dad and mom both giving him money to buy something.

The man smiled at him. "Of course."

Within 5 minutes he had a burrito, salad and a coffee. And within 2 he was back in Josh's office with a smug little smile on his face.

"Tyler." Josh said, eyes wide when he stepped in, arms full of food. "You really didn't have to buy me lunch. I, I don't know if I can even eat all of that."

Tyler shrugged and placed everything on Josh's desk. "I'll help you finish it if you can't eat it all."

Josh blinked. "I-Wow—"

Tyler suddenly felt nervous, he anxiously reached over to touch Josh's hand with his. "You're not mad are you?" Josh frowned, Tyler sighed. "I just wanted to do something nice and you hadn't eaten yet so I figured....."

Josh gripped Tyler's hand softly and kissed the top of it before smiling at him. "Honestly, thank you so much. You're my favourite person and I appreciate it a lot little bee."

Tyler blushed bashfully. "You're welcome."

"Here, um. Why don't we watch fight club while I eat?" Josh stood up, he seemed sort of flustered and Tyler felt good knowing that he wasn't the only one who like this when they were together. Even with a power dynamic he could still manage to make Josh like this just be being nice? He was sort of starting to understand all of this.

Josh gathered all the food together and placed it on the coffee table and sat down beside Tyler.

"Is it on netflix?" Tyler asked. He'd never heard of fight club before.

Josh shook his head and pulled his laptop into his lap. "Nah, but we can stream it?"

"Is that legal?"

Josh just shrugged and found a website to watch it on. Tyler leaning as close as he could so he could see. The two armchairs were already pressed arm to arm so it wasn't like they weren't sitting close to each other but still, he wanted to sit as close as possible. He could literally smell his cologne.

"One second." Tyler frowned when Josh got up but smiled when he turned the lights off for his office and sat back down on the chair beside him. "It's almost like a movie theatre." Josh smiled, teeth insanely white even with the lights off. Which made Tyler a bit self-conscious of his teeth but really, it's not something he was going to focus on.

Tyler giggled. "Mhm, we have like 20 minutes."

"Good enough for me." Josh said and Tyler hesitantly laid his head on Josh's shoulder and held onto his bicep, focusing on his breathing to make sure he didn't sound like he was hyperventilating or breathing too heavily. Josh leaned into his touch and Tyler had never felt more calm or on the verge of regressing in a while.

They ended up only having 15 minutes to watch the start of the movie before they realized that they really had to get to class. And within that time they both managed to finish their food and within that time Josh had thanked Tyler another 5 times when he realized that Tyler had gotten him his favourite food from the cafeteria. He didn't even ask him how he knew he loved the burritos, he'd just said. "Thank you again sweet pea."

At the 15 minute mark Josh had to go grab the cart of laptops for the class to use and that it would require him walking to the other side of the building. So Josh kissed Tyler on the cheek and Tyler quickly made his way to class, blushing all the way there.

HA, okay so this was gonna be a lot longer but i didn't feel like it was necessary to squish everything into this one chapter.

also how do y'all feel about dema inspired fics, i already have one up on ao3 but idk if anyone on here would be interested in reading one