20 YEARS AGO
August 2002

"Lewis, I need to talk to you. It's kind of important." Lewis heard the voice of Dianne, his girlfriend.

"Hello Di, did something happen?" He asked.

He heard the girl letting out a sigh. "Yes, that's why I need to talk to you. Are you busy right now?" She asked walking side to side in her living room.

Lewis took a look around. "Well, right now I am, but if something happened I could ditch everyone, just tell me."

"No, no, it can wait. Please call me once you're free." She said.

"Are you sure?" He heard a quiet 'mhh' from the other line. "Okay then, see you later, I love you." He said.

"See you later." And Dianne hung up the phone. At the time Lewis didn't even question why she didn't say I love you back, but a few hours later he would find out.

The young British driver focused back in his father's voice. He was about to begin his second year competing in British Formula Renault and he was negotiating a new contract, which made him very happy.

"Who was it?" Anthony Hamilton asked.

"Dianne, she told me we needed to talk." He made a face.

"Uh, we don't like those words." He said jokingly.

"It's probably nothing." He said. He was so focused on making his career successful. It was the beginning of a great life, he just knew it.

On the other hand, Dianne was freaking out.

"This can't be real!" She said on the verge of tears.

"Calm down Di, calm down." Her mother hugged her tight. She was about to have a panic attack. "Why didn't you tell him?"

"I can't tell him on the phone, mom!" She said letting the tears flow. "I can't even get myself to say it out loud."

"I know my love, I know... but you have to tell him."

"I'm going to ruin his career just like I destroyed my future."

"You didn't destroy your future Dianne, don't say that." The woman rubbed her daughter's back. "It's going to be okay, my love. We are going to be by your side always."

"What if Lewis dumps me? What am I going to do then? I can't do this on my own." She cried even more.

"He's not going to leave you, he's a responsible young man. And if he does, you won't be on your own. I swore that I was going to have your back in every step you took. I'm going to be by your side always."

"I love you mom." She said hugging her.

"I love you too, my little princess. And it's not only me, your father is going to be with you always."

Three tones was what Lewis heard and then Dianne's voice. "Hello?" She said in a shaky voice.

"Di, I am free now, should we meet somewhere?" Lewis said. "Wait, were you crying, my love?"

"I'm okay Lew, don't worry, and yeah, I think we should meet. I was thinking I could go to your house, is that okay?"

Lewis immediately started to clean the mess in his room. "Sure, I'll buy some beers." He offered.

On the other line of the phone, Dianne's eyes widened. "No!" She almost shouted. "I mean..." She cleared her throat. "Don't worry about it, I'm buying some snacks on my way there."

Lewis found Dianne's reaction weird but didn't say a thing. She probably would tell him once she got to his house. "Alright then... I'll see you in a few."

"Okay, I must go now."

"Be careful, okay?" The young man said. Dianne only answered with a 'mhm' and ended the call. Lewis thought that his girlfriend was definitely going through something. She wasn't being herself but she would eventually tell him, as always.

Once his room was decent, he went downstairs where he met with his father. "Dad, Dianne's coming, she's actually on her way here."

"Ok, do you want me to go to the store and get you some snacks?" The man asked his sin.

"Don't worry about it, she said she was going to stop on her way here and get us some."

"Okay son, is your room clean? I wouldn't want that girl watching your mess." He joked.

Lewis chuckled. "I just cleaned it, don't worry about it."

"Okay then, and what are you doing?" Anthony Hamilton asked. Lewis shrugged.

"She sounded a bit sad, and she did say she wanted to talk, remember?"

Anthony thought about it for a few seconds. "Oh yeah, I remember. Let's pray its not something bad cause I do like that girl."

Insecurity took over Lewis' body. "Let's hope it's not."

A few knocks on the door let Lewis know his girlfriend was there. He stood up and headed to open the front door. "Dianne." He greeted with a smile. "Come in." He said right after hugging the girl.

Dianne seemed sad, but Lewis didn't wanted to ask her just yet. "Hello Lew." A sad smile left her lips. "Are you alone?" She asked.

Lewis nodded. "My father and step mom went to the supermarket and my siblings are still in school."

"Great, great." Dianne gave Lewis a bag full of stuff. "Here are the snacks."

"Oh wow, these are a lot!" Surprise was heard in his voice.

A shy smile left Dianne's lips. "Yeah... I was craving them."

"Come here, I'll go to put all of these in bowls. Make yourself comfortable." Lewis said and then disappeared to the kitchen.

Dianne was trying not to cry. From the moment Lewis opened the door and greeted her with that smile she loved so much, she felt the knot forming on her throat. It was painful to talk and even breathe. She knew that once those two words left her mouth, Lewis career and life in general would change forever. Just like her life changed a few hours ago.

"Here you have..." Lewis' voice interrupted her thoughts. He took a seat next to her. "What's on your mind, baby?" He asked, starting to get a little bit worried. "Is everything okay?"

Dianne didn't wanted to look up and meet Lewis' eyes. She was scared. Their life was about to change completely.

"Lewis..." She started. Her voice breaking and trying so hard not to cry. "I'm really sorry... I am so, so, so sorry. I really am." The tears started to form in her eyes.

Lewis' heart started to beat fast. "Sorry about what, my love?" He asked, feeling insecure once again. His mind immediately went to an infidelity but he knew he couldn't judge just yet. Dianne was silent. Not a word coming out of her mouth. "Dianne?" He asked again, his heart about to come out of his chest. "Sorry about what?"

Dianne's gaze finally met his. She took a deep breath, closing her eyes for a few seconds. Seconds that Lewis felt like an eternity. She opened her eyes and look straight to Lewis'. "I'm pregnant."

And just like that, Lewis Hamilton's life took a 180-degree turn. All the things he used to know were about to change. What would his family say? What was going to happen with his career? Was he going to be a good father?

A few minutes passed where Lewis tried to imagine how his life was going to be from now on. Dianne knew what was happening to Lewis, so she didn't say a word. She just stared at him with tears in her eyes. And that's when Lewis reacted. He blinked and turned his gaze back to Dianne. He noticed the tears in his girlfriend's eyes and immediately hugged her, but it was not a happy hug. "I am so sorry Dianne. I really am. And I want you to know that I will be with you in every step you take and in every decision you make. I am deeply sorry. This was never supposed to happen. Not like this anyway." He broke the hug.

A small smile left the girl's lips. "Please don't apologize to me. We both did this, so is either our fault or nobody's fault, depending on how you want to see this." She said and then took something out of her pocket. "Two lines, it's positive." She showed it to him. "This is the third test I took and I still didn't believe it so I went to my gyn and she confirmed it. I'm on week 11."

It was the pregnancy test. And there were indeed two lines. He was going to be a father. They were going to be parents.

Lewis hugged her again but this time it was a less sad hug. Maybe, just maybe, this wasn't a bad thing.

"I have to go Lew, my mom is waiting for me in the car. I just came here to give you the news." She stood up. "Please tell your parents, we need to have a meeting with both families once they all know. Please tell me when we can meet again, okay?"

"Sure..." He walked her to the door. He saw Dianne's mother on her car and the woman gave him a comforting smile. "Dianne..." He held her hand before she could start walking to her mom's car. "Please be careful, okay? Call me if you need anything, and I mean it."

"I will, don't worry." A small smiled appeared on her face.

Lewis smiled at her too and his gaze unconsciously went directly to the girl's stomach. Dianne noticed this. "The doctor says I won't show up until one or two more weeks."

"Oh, okay... sorry." He redirect his gaze to somewhere else.

"It's okay, Lew... I have to go now, be safe." She kissed his cheek.

"You too, both of you..." He whispered once Dianne was far enough.

He then went straight to his room. A father. He was going to be a father. He was eighteen years old, for God's sake. How was that possible? He then realized some things. All the snacks Dianne brought cause she was craving them. He remembered that cravings was one of the pregnancy symptoms. Dianne also couldn't drink, so that explained her reaction when he mentioned the beer. She was already thinking in the baby.

The baby... he wondered if it would be a boy, a mini him. Or maybe a girl, his little princess. In that exact moment, Lewis swore he would be the best father to that baby, no matter what.

A few hours later, Lewis heard the porch door opening. His father was there.

"Lewis, we are here son, please come and help us with the groceries." His father's voice echoed around the house.

He went downstairs. "Hi dad." He greeted.

"Is Dianne still here?" Anthony asked giving Lewis a box of beer. They will definitely need that later.

"No, she just came to tell me something and left after." Lewis explained.

"Oh yeah? And what was it?" Anthony entered the kitchen followed by Lewis.

"You might want to take a seat for this..." Lewis advised.

Anthony rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "Come on boy, just tell me!"

"If you say so..." The youngest Hamilton took a deep breath and closed his eyes just like Dianne a few hours ago. Okay, inhale, exhale... He opened his eyes and starred right into his father's eyes. "Dianne is pregnant."

Anthony didn't react at first but then he started to laugh. "C'mon Lewis, stop messing with your old man." He said with a big smile, but once he noticed his son completely serious, the smile on his face disappeared. "You're not joking? He asked, Lewis shook his head no and then showed him the positive pregnancy test Dianne left him. Anthony's hands flew to his own mouth. "Oh my dear Lord... maybe I do need to take a seat now..."

ONE MONTH LATER

"Alright..." The doctor entered the room. "Are we ready to see that baby?" She said with a big smile.

Dianne only nodded and Lewis gave the doctor a huge smile. "Of course!"

The gynecologist took a seat next to Dianne's bed and started to get ready all the stuff she was going to use. The girl's stomach was becoming noticeable and that warmed Lewis' heart. "Okay..." The doctor turned on the TV so they could see the ultrasound, and started moving the sonographer on Dianne's belly. It took a few seconds to find the baby. "And... there it is!" She pointed to the screen, indicating where the baby was. "Do you want to know the gender?"

Dianne looked at Lewis, leaving him the decision. "No, we want to wait until the birth."

"Alright..." She started to write some things on the computer. "So the due date is between January or February, you told me that you wanted it to be a natural birth, right?" Dianne nodded. "Well, in that case, we just have to wait for this baby to be ready to come out."

Later that day, Lewis was having dinner with his family. "How's Dianne?" Anthony asked. "Did you found out the gender?"

"She's okay, she's still very distant." He said a little sad but as soon as he remembered his baby he cheered up. "We decided we wanted to know the gender until the birth."

"Oh, okay, okay..." His step mother said. "Have you already thought of possible names?"

Lewis thought about it for a few seconds. They never talked about names for their child. He did have one in mind but he needed to talk with Dianne first. "We haven't talk about it yet."

His father and step mom thought it was strange but didn't say anything.

Lewis was excited. The idea of becoming a father slowly grew on him but he knew Dianne wasn't the happiest, at least for now.

4 MONTHS LATER
February 2003

"Happy Valentine's Day!" Lewis said to Dianne once she opened the door. He handed her a bouquet of flowers.

The girl smiled and gave the young driver a small hug. "Thank you Lew." She took the flowers. "Come in."

The two soon-to-be-parents entered the house where Dianne's family was. "Hello." Lewis greeted her parents and siblings.

"Hello Lewis, how are you?" The mother asked with a smile.

"It's all good, thank you." Before Lewis could ask the same, Dianne talked.

"We are going to the garden." She informed her family and took Lewis hand and she basically dragged him through the house.

Once they got there, they sat on the outside swing she had. "How have you been feeling?" He asked her.

"I have already begun to have contractions, but today they have been particularly strong." Dianne rubbed her prominent belly. "I think it's going to be between tomorrow or Monday."

"I can't believe we've come this far already."

Dianne wasn't looking at Lewis, her gaze was in the sky. "Yeah, me neither..." Her hands were still in her belly, like she was being protective of that little human being growing inside her. "I wonder if it's going to be a boy." She said. "I've read that if the belly is more up than down it's probably a boy."

"You think it's a boy?"

Dianne nodded. "You don't?"

Lewis stared at the sky as well. "I don't know. I have a hunch that it's going to be a girl."

"Let's make a bet. I say it's a boy, you say it's a girl. Winner takes a 100 bucks." She smiled.

"Deal." They shook hands.

A few hours later, Lewis was already in his house.

"How are Dianne and the baby?" Anthony asked.

Lewis smiled. "They are okay, Dianne's belly is huge! She said that the doctor told her the baby is strong and healthy, and that it's almost time."

"And how are you feeling, boy?"

"Nervous." He said. "I think I'll never be ready enough to become a parent."

"Trust me son, you'll never be ready." Anthony said. "But I know damn well that you're going to be a great father, Lewis." He caressed his son's head with pride and love. "I'm aware that you are already head over heels for that little baby."

"I truly am." The youngest one smiled proudly.

"Then there you go, that's the most important thing."

"Thanks dad." He said and walked towards his room.

He knew he needed to be a great father, and he had a great example of what a great father is because of Anthony Hamilton.

Lewis just knew that he would go to war for that little baby.

Lewis woke up from his nap when he heard his step mom yelling his name. "Lewis! Lewis! Come down right now!" The boy immediately ran downstairs with a panic look on his face. "We need to get you to the hospital right now!"

"Why?! Did something happen?!" He immediately thought of the worst. "Is the baby okay?!"

A big smile appeared in his step mom face. "It is! But Dianne just went into labor! We need to head there quick!"

"Oh dear god..." I can't believe I'm going to be a father, he thought. His father, step mom, brother and himself got in the car and head off to the hospital.

"Are you nervous?" Anthony asked. Lewis just nodded causing a smile to form on the older man's face. "I know how you're feeling. I remember the day you were born like it was yesterday. I thought I was going to die... But everything went fine. I'm sure it will be the same today." He smiled.

Lewis smiled at his father. "I really hope so..."

"We're here!" Lewis said once the Hamilton family entered the hospital's waiting room. "Which room?" He asked and Dianne's family told him it was room 4428.

He ran and knocked on the door. "Di? Are you here?"

"Sure, come in." He heard her voice from the other side of the door. "Hi Lew." She said in a sweet voice.

Lewis knelt besides the bed where Dianne was. "How are you feeling, my love?"

Dianne grimaced. "These contractions are the worst pain I've ever felt in my life, but besides that, I'm doing alright." She smiled softly at him.

"I'm glad." He caressed her hand. "Do you already have a name in mind?"

The girl looked away from Lewis. "No, not yet. We don't know if it's a boy or a girl, and I firmly believe once we see his/her face, the name will come just like magic."

Lewis just smiled at her and continued caressing her hand with his thumb.

Minutes passed and Dianne's contractions were worst every time. "How are you feeling?" Dianne's mom asked her when she saw her face contracting in pain.

"Horrible." A few tears escaped her eyes. "I think it's coming."

"You sure?" The oldest woman asked and her daughter nodded. "I'm going to tell the nurses."

"Ow!" Dianne's cries of pain could be heard from across the hallway. "Lewis, when this is over, I'm going to hit you in the face!"

Lewis panicked but the remembered what he'd heard from the women in his family. 'When I gave birth to you, the only thing I wanted to do was murder your father.' His mom said to him one time.

"I'm sorry, Di. If I could take some of your pain, I would, trust me." He didn't know what more he could say. "Breathe in." He said gesturing. "Breathe out."

"Hello, hello! How are we feeling today?" The doctor entered with a huge smile. "Are we ready?"

"No." Both of them answered making the doctor and nurses laugh.

"Nobody is ready to be a parent." The doctor said. "But tell me, how are you feeling?"

"I feel like my back is about to break." Dianne answered. "I need this little fella to get out of here now." She softly rubbed her huge stomach.

"And this is why I'm here." The doctor smiled. "And you?" She asked Lewis. "How's the dad feeling?"

"Me?" He was surprised she asked him. The doctor nodded. "I feel like I'm about to throw up."

"It happens all the time." She laughed. "But don't worry, everything's going to be fine."

"Okay Dianne, I need you to take a deep breath..." The doctor's voice was heard throughout the room. "And push!" Dianne cried when she heard that. "I know, my dear, trust me, but it's almost over, one more, one more. Breathe... and go!"

"Lewis, I swear to God I'm going to murder you once this baby is out!" Dianne shouted making all the nurses laughed. Lewis looked at all of the people there in panic and then faked a laugh.

"One more, one more!"

Said and done, one more push and small cries were heard all around the room. "Aaaand we have a baby... girl!" The doctor said. "Congratulations! You're now parents of a beautiful and healthy baby girl."

A baby girl... Lewis whole heart belonged to that baby the second she arrived to this world. She was now his light, his joy, his baby daughter. And just like his own father told his hours ago, that girl was now his whole reason to live. Everything around him seemed blurry, its was just him and that little human. He didn't even notice Dianne holding the baby for a few seconds and giving her back to the nurse. He only came back when the nurse told them they were going to do a check up just to make sure the baby was fine.

"I guess I owe you a hundred bucks..." Dianne told him.

Lewis smiled. "I guess so..." He looked at his girlfriend and then to his newborn daughter that was still with the nurses. "So... have you thought of a name?" He asked thinking of a bunch of names for the baby.

Dianne shook her head. "Not yet. I fully believed it was going to be a boy. And I haven't thought of the perfect name for her." She said. "Have you?"

Lewis nodded. "I have a few in mind, but first I want to hear your suggestions."

"Do you want to hold her?" The nurse's voice made him look at her.

Hamilton nodded. "Of course!" She handed her to Lewis. He immediately caressed her cute little nose with his fingers. "Hi baby!" He spoke in a soft voice. "You are so beautiful..." He started rocking her. "You are perfect..." The little baby looked at her father with attentive eyes. Lewis felt like he was about to melt right there. "Hello, little one, I am your father! It's so nice to finally get to know you, my beautiful girl..." He continued talking sweet things to the newborn baby in his arms, with Dianne's gaze on them.

Dianne watched them with a few tears in her eyes, enjoying the wholesome moment between Lewis and their daughter, but at the same time feeling her heart crying inside her chest.

A few minutes later, the nurse announced she was going to take the baby to the nursery while the doctor finished the post-partum procedure.

Lewis and Dianne immersed themselves in a small talk, talking about simple stuff like how was Dianne feeling, and then discussed about what was going to happen when they could take their baby home, but it seemed like Dianne wanted to avoid the topic, which Lewis respected.

Lewis went out to the waiting room to tell his family that everything went fine. All of them hugged him and told him to tell Dianne they hopped she made a full recovery soon. Lewis went back inside to his girlfriend and his mother-in-law.

Thirty more minutes passed and the young boy wanted to go see his kid again, so with Dianne's approval, he went outside again and started to walk to where the nursery was along with his father and siblings.

"There she is..." He signaled to the baby in the middle of the room. "Isn't she perfect?" He asked watching in adoration how the nurses prepared his daughter so he can enter to see her.

"She really is..." Anthony said watching his granddaughter with a huge smile in his face. "You haven't named her?" He asked when he saw that the tagged in his granddaughter's crib just said 'Hamilton'.

Lewis shook his head. "Dianne haven't found the perfect name and I want to wait until I hear her suggestions to give mine."

"You should name her Kara." His brother suggested.

"Hmm... I don't think that names suits her." He said. "Let's just wait until we get back to Dianne with this little baby and we'll see."

After that, Lewis entered the nursery to be with his baby for a while, Anthony as well.

Dianne's mother called him to tell them that Dianne was asleep and they should go get some food while she rested. They did that, and all of the Hamilton family headed to the hospital's restaurant to celebrate the birth of a new member of the Hamilton family.

An hour and a half passed and Lewis headed back to Dianne's room only to find it empty. At first he thought that maybe she was taken to a check up, but then he noticed that all of Dianne's belongings were gone as well. He sprinted to the waiting room and there was no sight of any of Dianne's family members. A nurse walked by, Lewis stopped her. "Uhm... hello, do you know where the patient of room 4428 is?"

The nurse shook her head but a few seconds later, seemed like she remembered something. "Oh... that girl...Dianne, am I right?" Lewis nodded. "Give me a second." She said and disappeared through the hallway.

A few moments later she reappeared with the doctor and the baby in her hands. "Come with me, Mr. Hamilton." The doctor asked and they entered the room once again.

"Can I have her?" He asked and the doctor handed the baby to him.

"I don't know how to say this, but... Dianne just left." He looked at him with pity, something he hated. "She left you this, though." She handed Lewis a piece of paper. "I am going to leave you alone now, a nurse should be outside for when you're done. This little one is perfectly healthy, so you can stay with her for a few minutes, is that okay?" She referred to the baby.

"Sure." He said not taking away his gaze from the letter Dianne left.

Before the doctor stepped out of the room, she stopped and looked back at him. "I am truly sorry."

Lewis already knew it was something bad, so that comment from the doctor only made him sigh. He felt Dianne's strange energy. He knew something was off, but it still surprised him.

He let out yet another sigh and opened the letter.

'My dear Lewis,

I'm very sorry that this has to happen this way, but I don't have the guts to look you in the eye and tell you the following;

I can't go on with this, I really tried but this situation is way bigger me. I know that it is both of our faults and that we should both collaborate to make that baby's life perfect but I just can't stop thinking that I'm only going to ruin everything. Not only her life but also yours, I know you have a big career in front of you and trust me, I felt like shit when I learned that I was pregnant because I knew that you were going to drop everything to become a family man, you always told me that.

I was not ready to become a mother and after nine whole months, I am still not ready. That little baby deserves better than a mother who isn't capable of love her fully, but I know you are already in love with her, I saw it in your eyes. I can tell that she just became your entire world and I know in my heart that you will love her no matter what.

I may sound selfish, and I am, but I wasn't ready, I'm still not ready and I know I will be not ready for a long time, and as I told you before, that baby girl deserves better than a mother like me.

Please, don't look for me. I am begging you. You're going to be an amazing father, I can already tell. Please love her for the both of us, cause even if I am running away like a coward, I still care for her. After all, I spend the hardest nine months of my life with her by my side.

I hate to say it this way, but now you're on your own; trust me, I will never forgive myself for this, but I can't do it.

But promise me two things, for the love we shared and for what our love created;

Don't give up on your dream, you are destined to be the greatest of all times, so go and make it true cause everyone around you believes in what you are capable to do.

And second, love her with all you got. Love her so hard that she forgets she doesn't have two parent figures. Love her enough for both of us.

I am so sorry.

Dianne.'

Lewis sigh and looked at his baby daughter. "I already love her more than enough for the both of us."

The young man wasn't going to let such a happy moment in his life to change just because his -now ex- girlfriend was a coward.

"It's now just me and you, little one."

"...I am so sorry, Lewis." His father said looking back at him with pity.

"Stop it, dad, I don't need to be looked with pity. Yes, she left. Yes, she is a coward, but now I have her..." He pointed to his daughter. "She is the most important thing now. Who cares if Dianne is gone. I have her now, it's us against the world now. And I swear to God that I will keep her safe and will give her all I got. Cross my heart and hope to die!"

Anthony smiled. "Well, don't you think she needs a name?"

"Yeah, she needs a name..."

Without Dianne in the picture, he could name her whatever he wants now, right?

He thought about that one person that inspire him the most. He now has a new -little- person who inspires him to become a better person.

And he thought about the day. Now considered the best day of his life. Valentine's day of the year 2003.

"Well...?" He heard his father voice.

A huge smile formed in Lewis face. "I present to you... Senna Valentine Hamilton."

💌 Well, I'm baaaack!!!
i loved how this chapter turned out and I love seeing Lewis in father mode haha <333

i took a break from writing but i (think) i'm back at it!!! anywaaaay... question of the day:

☀️ what's your favorite song(s)?
mine's are La Paura del Buio and Mark Chapman by Måneskin! 💞