and if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake?

[the real deal: season 5, episode 12]
*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*

"Hey," Rose said, sliding into the open seat next to Mack. "I just heard- how's Elena?" she asked quietly.

"You can call her, Yo-Yo, you know," Mack reminded the girl. "I don't think she would mind."

Rose tilted her head, "If just doesn't feel right," she admitted. "Are you okay?" she asked him.

Mack sighed profoundly but didn't answer Rose. She had all the information she needed, "She'll be okay," Rose told him, even if she didn't know if that was true. "I hope."

"Me too, Sunshine, me too," Mack said, shaking his head slightly.

AHHHH!

A loud sound echoed in the hallway that the two adults were standing in. Rose's head snapped towards the noise, and she knew exactly who made it. "Goddammit!" She rolled her eyes, "It's Deke," she said shaking her head as she got up from her seat. "I'll go check on him, the little bastard," Rose cursed. "Just give Ele- Yo-Yo, my well wishes, please," she asked before rushing off to where she heard the noise.

"The little asshole. He's only been here for fifteen minutes, tops, and he is already causing problems," she muttered to herself. "I'll show him, I'll show him that he can't just go around getting drunk and screaming at the top of his lungs. God!" Rose exclaimed stopping in front of the supply closet.

Rose opened the door to see a large Kree with an ax standing over Deke. Daisy held her gun at the monster, shooting it in the head. The Kree fell to the down, dissipating into the air like a bunch of particles. Rose looked between Daisy, Deke, and the space where the dead Kree once stood. "Should've shot him too," she added, pointing at Deke.

Daisy looked almost impressed, "She's that pissed at you, huh?" she asked Deke.

The man sighed, "Yeah, I guess she is."

---

"It's our fears come to life," Fitz explained, standing in front of the large computer screen. Rose was huddled in the main section of the Lighthouse with Daisy, Coulson, Deke, May, and Fitz trying to figure out what the hell was going on with the disappearing Kree.

May blinked, not following Fitz's train of thoughts, honestly Rose didn't entirely understand it either. "What the hell are you talking about, Fitz?" May asked. "What fear?"

"I'm still trying to piece it all together," Fitz started. "But here. Watch this," he pressed a button on the keyboard and a blurry image appeared on the large screen in front of the six of them. Rose tilted her head at it, it was some sort of grey creature, with spikes growing out of its back. "It's low-res, but it's all I could salvage from one of the dwarfs."

"This can't be-" May started.

"Fitz?" Coulson asked, turning towards the scientist.

"I think that when the monoliths exploded, they tore open something that I can only describe as a fear dimension," Fitz explained. "And it's leaking out."

Rose blinked, "What the fuc-" she sounded.

"See these emissions here," Fitz continued, switching the camera to a small black rift in the middle of a room.

"What do you think that is?" Coulson asked, peering at the image.

"I don't know, uh, alien energy?" Fitz reasoned. "The Dwarf went offline before I could analyze it. But, whatever it is, it seems that it can reach inside our minds."

"Yeah, well, it can do more than that. That kree almost killed Deke," Daisy added.

Rose pursed her lips, "It probably should have," she said sourly.

"Ouch, Rosie, ouch," Deke responded.

"I don't understand how, but it seems that this dimension can take our deepest fears and manifest them, physically," Fitz said, ignoring the pair's banter.

"So, Kree warrior," Daisy said pointing to herself. "Check."

"And if that is Lash, double-check," May continued.

"What about that forest on Level 27?" Coulson asked.

Deke frowned from his spot in the corner of the room, "You mean an overwhelming collection of branchy things with birds and bugs and the floor all covered in worms. Are you kidding? That's- that's a horror show."

"Okay, triple check," Daisy said glancing over towards Rose.

Rose sighed, "If you guys are gonna ask if any of this applies to me, I'll spare you the time and the energy but saying I don't know what my deepest fear is, so, I guess I'll find out later."

Fitz nodded, beginning to type on the computer once more. "I'm gonna seal off the lower 2/3 of the Lighthouse. That's where the bulk of the phenomena is occurring, but it's flaring out," he informed them. "The fact that it's reached Level 27, as well as the supply pantry, tells me it's getting worse."

"So, how do we stop it?" May asked.

"Okay," Fitz said slowly, looking at the five of them in the room. "I have a potential fix, but- I don't know how to do it without one of us possibly sacrificing ourselves." He paused once more. "Okay, Deke-"

Deke shook his head vigorously as Rose's eyes widened. Sure, she was still very angry at him, but she didn't want to see him die, again. "Oh, no. Me?" Deke started. "No, no. Hell, no. No, I just got here. I just got to a world that's got ice cream and the sun and orange-scented stuff and Rosie is still here. So, no. No, no, no. And in case any of you forgot, I already did the heroic sacrifice thing to get you all here. So I'm- I'm done," he finished.

Fitz blinked, "I'm not asking you to sacrifice yourself," he clarified. "I just want to burrow your belt buckle." Deke looked down at his belt and then back up at Fitz, and nodded slowly. "It creates an applied gravity field. And I was hoping there was enough Gravitonium -- with some modifications -- to create a perpetual force that can stitch together the tear in space-time. Before it spreads, right?"

Deke took off his belt buckle, "Well, anything to save the world, right?"

"Sure," Fitz responded, a little weirded out by his behavior. "As I said, there is a catch. One of us is gonna have to carry this device down and activate it. And that person may get sucked into another dimension or killed by a manifestation of fear."

"That's a risk I'll have to take," Coulson said simply.

---

Rose walked down the hallway, coming face to face with someone she absolutely didn't want to see. "No, no," she said slowly, looking directly at Deke. "What are you doing here?" she asked. "Coulson wanted to talk to me. ME! Not you."

"Well, sorry he wanted to speak to me too, Rosie. You are stuck with me," Deke said, sending her a flashy smile, which she didn't return. Rose looked down at the sheet of paper in his hands.

"What the hell is that?" she asked pointedly.

"A list, Rosie," Deke answered simply.

Rose tilted her head, "Yeah, I can see that. I get the general concept of a list, Deke," she retorted. "Why do you need that?"

It was at that moment when Coulson stepped out of his room, staring at the two adults in front of him. "Are the instructions clear?" he asked.

"Yeah, we're on it," Deke answered pointing to both him and Rose. "Head up and outside, get some fresh air, and check things off the to-do list," he said quickly.

"I don't get it at all," Rose started. "Why am I going with him?"

"One, because you two are the only people who can do this as you don't even exist," Coulson stated. "Two, I need someone to make sure he doesn't get arrested again. And three, it seems like you two have some unresolved issues to work through."

Rose scoffed, "Unresolved issues, yeah no. I would like to remove myself from this mission," she said.

"I can't let you do that," Coulson said, handing each of them a pair of sunglasses. "So be careful," he warned the two of them.

Rose scowled but took the glasses in her hands anyways. "Fine," she said stubbornly, crossing her arms over her chest. "No promises that I'll bail him out if he gets arrested again."

"She doesn't actually mean that," Deke reassured Coulson.

"Oh no, I do mean that," Rose corrected.

Deke nodded awkwardly, "The rest of the team's waiting in the control room. And I'm, um, sorry to hear-" he started.

"Just get the goods," Coulson interjected. "I'll be here when you guys get back."

"Okay," Deke started as they began to find their way out of the lighthouse. "Now since we are alone, you can drop the whole 'I'm mad at you' charade."

Rose frowned, turning to look at him. "One, it's not a charade, and two, NO!" she snapped, facing back in front of her. "Absolutely not," she added.

"Rosie, you can't seriously be mad at me right now," Deke said, tugging on her hand slightly.

She yanked her hand out of his, "Yes, I can! Because while I was wasting my stupid tears, on you of all people. You were actually getting wasted. So, forgive me for actually caring about you! Which was a mistake by the way, so I don't care about you anymore."

"Rosie, please, let me explain," Deke pleaded with the girl who had no desire to listen to him anymore. She didn't respond, so Deke continue to talk to her as they trudged throughout the hallway. "Look, okay. I sacrificed myself so that you could live. So that you could continue on and have a good shot at the life you deserve. Because you deserve so much more than you got. And this, sending you back to the past with them would be able to get you that. I didn't know that I was gonna be sent back too, and I was in this strange world all by myself, having no idea if you had survived or not. So yes, I got a little drunk because I was worried that you were gone, and until I saw you walk into that police station, I thought you were."

He paused to take another deep breath, "I care about you so much Rosie and I can't stand the fact that you are upset with me. And I'm sorry," he said finally. "I'm really, really sorry. Can we just put this whole thing behind us? I want to actually talk to you again instead of this whole trip being a big awkward thing between us."

Rose felt a small smile form on her lips. She had to forgive him at some point, right? All she could do yesterday was wish that he would come back and now that he was here, she was mad at him? It honestly seemed pointless. "We were never really awkward, were we?" she asked lightly.

"You're talking to me and not yelling," Deke pointed out.

Rose sighed, "Well. I decided that although I am still pissed at you, I am more glad that you are alive than anything else," she admitted. "Even though I haven't been acting like that. And I'm sorry for saying that I wished that Kree had killed you because I don't."

"I mean, you did sound pretty serious about that," Deke pointed out.

"Well, I am a very good liar," Rose said, nodding slowly.

Deke laughed, shaking his head, "Okay, don't get ahead of yourself now."

Rose made a small offended noise, "I'm great at lying!" she insisted as they reached the exit of the tunnel leading to the world outside. She slipped her glasses over her eyes as Deke pushed the small metal grate open.

"I can tell you're lying right now," Deke retorted putting on his own sunglasses.

Rose pursed her lips glancing around the outdoors, "I wasn't but," she started to say but her voice trailed off, listening to the sound that came over their heads. She jumped as a helicopter appeared suddenly, flying across her line of sight. Her heart rate began to increase as her head swiveled towards the commotion on the other side of the street.

"Seal off the main road!" One of the officers shouted.

Rose looked between Deke and the now blocked off the main exit, "Shit, shit," she said quietly. "I don't know who those people are, but I know they can't be good."

"Rosie, relax, relax," Deke said placing his hands on her shoulders. "We will be fine," he reminded her as she gazed up at him.

"I really hope you're right," she said, biting her lip.

"Come on," he said, grabbing her hand quickly, which she didn't resist this time. "According to Coulson, I have a phone call to make."

---

Rose sighed as he dragged her along to a small payphone outside of a pawnshop. "Who exactly are you contacting?" she whispered, leaning on the side of the small red machine.

"I don't know," Deke responded, as he redialed the number for the fifth time. "I'm just doing what the bossman said."

Rose groaned, "Please don't call him the bossman, ever again," she hissed. "And just-" she started, looking around to see if anyone was looking at the pair. "Maybe we should move on to the more important part of the list," she reminded him, pointing at her ring finger. "And it's got to be a good ring okay, not like those hunchs of junk that those vendors used to sell for like a million tokens. I used to think that I was gonna get married with a washer around my finger. You know? It's got to be like a good, solid ring. A nice ring. A nice one."

Rose didn't want to admit it, but it felt good to actually talk to Deke again without being angry at him. She honestly felt like fighting him was more exhausting than she liked.

"Rosie, they need guests for a wedding and more importantly people to rebuild the organization. But that can't happen if I can't talk to a real person. I just hope to god these people are getting my message, and to meet us in the exact place we requested," Deke said in hushed tones, hanging up the phone. "But since you want to get the ring so bad, fine, we will get the ring."

"Thank you," she said, getting off of the machine and rolling her eyes. "It's a lot better than watching you make a bunch of phone calls."

Deke frowned, "What do you mean by that?" he asked as they stepped into the pawnshop next to them. "I'm very entertaining."

"No, no you're not," Rose retorted as they walked up to the counter. She cleared her throat, looking up at the store clerk who smiled warmly at them. 

"Hi!" The clerk greeted. "Are you two looking for anything specific today?" she asked.

"Uh yes," Deke started looking down at the list in his hands. "Um- a wedding dress and ring," he listed, looking up at the clerk hopefully. "Do you guys have anything like that? I mean, fancy enough?" he asked.

The clerk smiled widely, "We don't have a large selection, but we do have a nice lacey dress back here," she said pointing to the off-white dress behind the counter. "It'll look great against your complexion," she added looking at Rose.

"Oh! No, no, no, no," Rose said quickly. "The dress isn't for me. I'm not getting married, especially not to this guy," she said gesturing towards Deke. "What a crazy, crazy, crazy suggestion," she said unconvincingly.

"Oh, yeah, absolutely insane," Deke added, backing the woman up. "It's for someone else. I would never marry her, ever" he chuckled awkwardly, patting Rose on the back. "Actually if we had to rank the people I would marry, this gal would be last on the list. Like dead last. You can't even see that bottom of the list because she is that far down. Like her hair really isn't even that pretty like-"

Rose rolled her eyes at him, "Oversharing much?" she asked. "Sorry, he's just very adamant on his answer."

The clerk blinked, "Uh, glad you cleared that up," she stated. "Um, would you still like the dress?"

"Absolutely," Rose gushed. "Oh my, Jemma is gonna look gorgeous in that," she affirmed. "Now, for the ring-" she started, but Deke was already staring at the small section of jewelry under them.

"This one," he said, pointing to a small silver band in the display case. "I think this one will look nice. Don't you think, Rosie?" Deke asked.

Rose peered down at the ring. It was fairly simple for a wedding ring, but it looked oddly familiar to Rose. She tilted her head at the small band as she smiled, glancing at the circular jewel that was in the middle of the shape. "Yeah, yeah," she said slowly. "I like that one a lot."

"Perfect," Deke said clapping his hands together. "So we will take the dress and the ring! Thank you so much!" he said as the clerk bagged up the dress and ring into a small beige bag. "Here," he continued, handing her a big stack of cash. "This should cover the cost."

"Thank you again!" Rose added as Deke practically pushed her out of the door. "Have a nice day! What are you doing?" she hissed at Deke as they stepped back into the fresh air.

"Rosie, we are on a tight schedule," he reminded her. "We have to get to these coordinates as soon as possible, given that those people Coulson had me contact got back to me."

"I'm sure they wouldn't have minded if we talked to that nice lady for another minute," Rose pointed out as they began to walk down the street.

"Agree to disagree," Deke responded. "We have to got meet these people at the coordinates here," he said showing her the phone Coulson gave him.

Rose nodded slowly, "Well, then, lead the way genius."

---

The coordinates on the phone had led the pair to a small field in the middle of nowhere. Rose was intrigued by the small flowers that we growing out of the ground. She picked one of the white ones up and stuffed it in her pocket, much to Deke's dismay who was absolutely terrified of everything that had to do with the field. He kept on complaining that the Quinjet was taking too long to pick them up.

Eventually, the jet had picked them up and Rose was greeted by a bunch of strangers as they flew back to the lighthouse.

"The gravity field's keeping the rift contained, for now," Fitz informed Rose, Deke, and Coulson as they took the elevator down to Level 27. "It's a Band-aid. We'll need a more powerful solve, but the anomalies are fading. No newer ones are occurring. We have one man to thank for that."

"Oh, come on," Deke said instantly. "That's overstating it, but, still it means a lot coming from you two. I mean, obviously, it was pretty touch and go up there for a while, but I called around to tell the Daisy Johnson story and was able to get everything off the checklist. No help from her though," he added, pointing at Rose. "Kept on nagging to go pick out all of the decors."

Rose frowned, "Which was obviously still very important," she added.

"Though, no one had ever heard of Haig," Deke continued. "So I got something even better," he said, picking up the box of Zima next to him. "But yeah, I'm not gonna lie- I was pretty freaked out when I punched the coordinates into the phone and it led us into the middle of a grassy field. And it's like 'Can the Quinjet get here a little bit quicker, please?' You know? But I managed to grave the critters."

"He almost cried," Rose whispered to the two of them.

Deke continued talking as if he didn't hear Rose's comment. "Pro-tip: tuck your pants into your shoes. Nothing gets up."

Fitz and Coulson looked at each other, confusion lining their faces. "I was obviously talking about Deathlok," Fitz clarified.

"It goes without saying," Coulson responded.

"Is he sticking around?" Fitz asked.

"No," Coulson answered. "He rolls solo. He stepped up, helped some Agents on the run. Helped Agent Davis find medical help. But he said he's leaving after tonight's festivities."

Fitz nodded, "Well, I mean, his arrival was perfect timing. Uncanny, really."

"Yeah," Coulson said simply.

"What exactly were you up against down there, sir?" Fitz asked.

Coulson raised his eyebrow, a shadow of amusement dancing across his face. "Fitz, are you stalling?" he asked.

"Me?" Fitz stammered, looking at the three people gathered in the elevator. "Am I stalling just now? I don't think so."

"Because the elevator stopped like a minute ago," Coulson pointed out. He looked down at Fitz straightening out his collar for him. "It's gonna be great," he said as the elevator doors opened up.

Rose gasped at the scene in front of her. It was the most beautiful thing she had laid her eyes on in a while. The forest had a small amount of light shimmering through the trees, the rest of the agents were lined up along a clear blue pond. Rose took the flower and walked over to Jemma, who was holding a bouquet of purple and white wildflowers. "Here," she said simply, adding her flower to the ribbon. "I picked it myself."

"Thank you," Jemma said kindly as Rose walked back to stand next to Deke.

Rose sighed deeply, "I love weddings," she said simply, a smile playing on her pink lips.

"I know," Deke replied, as he slipped his hand into hers. Rose didn't pull it out this time, she honestly enjoyed this feeling of their fingers interlocking. It was her own special moment.

Coulson cleared his throat, standing in front of the couple. "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today for a moment we all knew was coming, some of us even before these two did, and I think we can all agree that to wait even one second to do this is playing with fire. All in favor?"

"Aye!"

"The ayes have it," Coulson said smiling. "So, all right. Time for the exchanging of the vows, I guess."

Deke looked at the man who was standing next to him and Rose, "So, you bride's or groom's side?" he asked.

The man, Rose was pretty sure his name was Deathlok, shrugged, "I know them both," he answered.

"I had to write it down," Jemma said, pulling out a small piece of paper. "Fitz. I knew from the moment I saw you, from our first conversation about dielectric polarization, that you'd be in my life for a long time," she sniffled slightly. "But I didn't know, you would be my life. My heart. My home. We joined this time for adventures and got more than we had hoped. But I can't wait for our next adventure, building a family together. My love for you grows deeper and always will, no matter where the universe takes us next."

By the end of her speech, Jemma had small tears forming in her eyes. She gave the small note to Daisy who was also holding back tears.

"So, you full cyborg?" Deke asked Deathlok. "Or-"

"Yeah," Deathlok answered.

"Cool," he said simply.

"Agent Fitz?" Coulson asked, turning to him.

Fitz cleared his throat, "Okay," he said slowly. "I have been thinking about what to say. Just-" he stopped speaking, taking Jemma's hands into his own. "Words don't seem enough. I think that you are perfect. And um, I don't deserve you, Jemma. I don't. I don't deserve you," he said chuckling. "And I am well aware that I'm the luckiest man on any planet."

"Okay," Coulson said, smiling down at the couple. "Let's have the rings," he said to Daisy and Mack. "Quickly, please, before this forest collapses around us," he finished as they placed the rings in Fitzsimmons's hands. "Okay, Fitz, repeat after me."

"With this ring."

"With this ring."

"I thee wed."

"I thee wed," Fitz finished, sliding the ring that Deke chose onto Jemma's finger.

Deathlok turned to Rose and Deke, "So, you got the rings?" he asked them. "Its a nice one."

"Yeah, it was mainly him though," Rose said, leaning her head on Deke's shoulder.

"Turns out a lot of people pawn wedding rings," Deke added. "I had to find one that was gonna be small enough for his little-boy fingers. And then, for hers, I found this ring that looks just like this one that my mom used to wear sometimes. It was my grandma's I think."

"Ohhhh," Rose sounded. "That's why it looks so familiar. Oh my god, I used to look at that ring all the time and think about how beautiful it was," she beamed.

Deke smiled, "And that's why I picked out the rings," he reminded her.

"Now, by the powers vested in me by, well, by the two of you. I am so happy to pronounce you husband and bride. You may kiss the bride," Coulson said simply.

loving you's the anecdote,
golden ☼

Grace talks ig: Rose telling Deke that the Kree should've killed him, then Shalia making up, then insisting that they wouldn't marry each other, and then holding hands at the wedding is simply iconic. I don't know how else to put it! Also THE WEDDING SCENE IN THIS EPISODE WAS SO CUTE. I LOVE IT SO MUCH AHHH <3 Anyways, this was cute and I had to have Rose and Deke make up because I don't like them being mad at each other and I missed writing their witty banter. Also, for future events that happen in the book, they can't be fighting at the moment lmao. Okay, in other news THANK YOU FOR 2K READS AHSNFVEUMFVH. I never expected this to reach that and I am so glad you are all enjoyed this book as much as I like writing it. BYEEE <3