We might hit 650K reads by the next few uploads?!! i love you all x 

I'm testing out a new cover design that I made so let me know what you think - thanks to my instagram babes who gave me feedback! (If we all hate it I will change it back to the old one haha)

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CHAPTER 64

.The water is switched off from behind me, my damp hair clinging to my neck as I try to catch my breath. Kisses are littered across my forehead and into my scalp, words of praise and adoration tumbling together while I rest against his chest.

As my head begins to come back down from the clouds I feel Trent shifting around, only one of his arms now holding me as he shuffles us slightly. Before I know it there's a softness being wrapped around me, warm and fuzzy.

"I hope this towels clean," I joke, my voice sounding weak and his chest moves with his low chuckle as he makes sure it's secure, "If this is Cole's then I'm not going to be impressed."

Opening my eyes I'm met with the glorious sight of his naked body, droplets of water from the shower dripping down the lines of his muscles like they'd been painted on.

"No, Liebling. I got these especially for you."

He turns to grab another towel, moving away from me and I avert my eyes, my mind catching up to the fact that he is completely naked right now.

Are you seriously getting embarrassed by his naked butt when you literally just had your hands down his boxers and he was-

I cough and shake the thought out my head. My legs were barely holding me up let alone ready to go again and Trent seems to agree, his own towel appearing around his waist.

"Come on," he says softly, his hand waiting for me to take, "The bed is much comfier than the shower - I promise."

It's comical that we had entered the bathroom in the complete role reversal and now Trent was looking after me.

He was always looking after me.

"Two seconds," he mumbles, a swift kiss to my forehead but I barely register it - my eyes have started to blink slower and my head is still coming around to what has just happened.

He was the first person to ever touch me apart from... well, apart from the worst person I knew. I had never been like that with him, I'd never taken control or felt comfortable enough to do anything so forward.

I never felt that feeling of weightlessness or freedom - all I ever felt was pain and the force of pleasing the other person.

"Here." Trent presents me with a pile of clothes, his hand awkwardly scratching the back of his neck as he does. "You can pick what you like. If you want something from your room then I can go across and get-"

"This is perfect," I cut in, holding up a soft-looking t-shirt, "Thank you."

There's a pause for a moment as my hands touch the opening of the towel, my gaze flickering to Trent as I begin to undo it.

Was it silly that I felt shy to get changed?

As always, it's as if Trent can hear me and before I can swallow my fear he turns around with a mumble and walks into his cupboard, stopping me from having to say anything.

I quickly slip the t-shirt on, my senses humming with happiness as Trent's scent drifts over me, only adding to the peaceful feeling that's settled in my core.

"I'm changed," I call softly, bringing the towel up to my hair as I wait for him to reenter.

When he does, it's cautious, his eyes surveying the room before he reveals his body.

Or well, barely clothed body - all he's wearing are boxers.

"I can put more clothes on if-"

"It's fine," I assure, blushing as my eyes try not to trail down his body, "I don't mind."

He nods in affirmation and clears his throat, dropping the clothes from before into the basket in the corner of his room. I continue to rub my hair, settling onto the side of his bed that seems to be untouched.

"What's in there?" I ask, motioning to the door that's on the opposite wall, "A secret lair?"

He sits down on the bed beside me, the smirk on his lips hiding something behind it.

"Something like that." His eyes move from it and back onto me, his gaze radiating such love that I have to look away from him - my heart can barely take it.

It's silent as I brush my fingers through my hair and then plait it, my arms too tired to continue drying it. I can feel him watching me the entire time, his body barely moving but his eyes following me wordlessly.

"What?" I ask finally, turning to him with a nervous laugh. It's not that his gaze has unsettled me but rather that it makes me aware of how exposed I am - hair not done, no makeup on and in a t-shirt at least four sizes too big for me.

It's unheard of.

"I've just never seen you look so beautiful," he murmurs, his voice soothing my nerves, "You just seem to astonish me more with every passing day."

Oh, fucking swoon.

I scoff slightly, unable to hide the flushing of my cheeks as I do and I quickly throw the damp towel at him, trying to deflect his words that make my soul cry out in happiness.

He's quick to catch it, throwing it off to one side as his cheeky grin appears right beside me, eyes zoning in on the redness creeping up my features.

"So, me telling you that you look beautiful is too much for you but when you accost me in the bathroom and stick your hand down my-"

I squeal and throw my hands over his mouth, my body knocking his back onto the bed as I beg him to shut up. Embarrassment filling me as he laughs and continues trying to speak.

"Stop!" I order, trying to seem stern but not managing due to the ever growing grin gracing my face, "That's not funny!"

"Ok, ok!" He laughs, his arms wrapping around my waist as he pulls me onto the mattress and swaps our positions, "I yield, I yield!"

I stop my pathetic attempts of hitting his body and let him move over me, our chuckles ebbing out slowly as we stare at each other. His hand softly rises and strokes my cheek, causing my heart to leap.

In the warm light of the bedside lamp his entire being seems to be glowing. A soft and shimmering aura that only adds to the beauty of him. As he looks up at me from his long lashes, my hand gently reaches out to trace his jaw. I can't help but smile as my finger scratches along the slight stubble making its way through his skin.

He was so perfect but also so... imperfect.

I don't know who leans into who, it's like both of our bodies are magnets being pulled into eachother, only satisfied when there's no space between them.

The kiss is soft and gentle, inviting but not pressured. Even though we were lying on a bed, wearing barely any clothing and closer than we ever had been before, he still wasn't trying to sleep with me.

It was definitely refreshing.

He breaks the kiss too soon, a sigh leaving his lips as he moves off of me, taking his spot right next to me instead.

A small flicker of disappointed resonates through me.

"I find it utterly adorable that you're trying to not scare me," I tease softly, twisting to my side to look at his confused face, "But is there any other reason that you're not trying to..."

His eyes almost pop open at my words, hands throwing themselves upwards in a display of innocence.

"Oh god no, there is zero part of me that doesn't want to... y'know," he shakes his head, wincing at his awkward terminology and I try not to giggle, "But it's late and I don't think that I'll be able to stop once we start- not for a while anyway."

The 'gulp' that leaves my throat is obnoxiously audible and my toes curl at the images that flash through my mind, my body preparing to reheat with just a single word but I push it down, aware of the hesitance that he's projecting.

"That's..." I cough, "That's a fair shout."

"Plus," he drags out, his arm stretching over to me and settling on my hip, "I figured you'd want a good night sleep before your first day back at school."

I'm so busy trying to calm my body down in response to his arm wrapping around me that it takes a moment for my brain to catch up with him and actually hear the words that he's spoken.

Back to school?

"You're serious?" I gasp, forgetting about the panic that had flitted through me as my hands land on his torso, my legs scooting me closer without permission. "I can go back?"

His smile is small as he brushes a hand over my hair, his fingers playing with the tail end of the plait.

"I once promised you that you would never have to be under the control of someone ever again," he begins, a resolute tone to his voice, "I've been so worried about keeping you safe that I forgot that that promise includes me. I shouldn't be stopping you from living just because I'm overprotective - that's not fair. And I'm sorry that I've been a bit overbearing with it."

Going from someone who constantly controlled my every move, who refused to let me make my own decisions and used to use the excuse of caring too much for a reason to hurt me to Trent?

Well, the way his words make me feel are indescribable.

"Thank you," I whisper, my hands sliding around his midriff, slinking into place so easily that it's as if they've done it a thousand times. His own follow suite, wrapping around my shoulder and pulling me into him as he lies onto his back.

I fit perfectly into the space - like it's made for me.

"You don't need to thank me," he mumbles, pressing a kiss into my hair, "I was being an idiot. I just don't know what I'd do if something happened to you, not after everything."

A couple of weeks ago I would have laughed at the statement. I would have wondered what kind of person finds a love that pure and full that they couldn't imagine going on without their other half, but now?

Now I was beginning to understand it.

"I'll be alright." My fingers draw circles in the hair on his chest, "I know you can protect me... and it's not as if we're alone. If you can't be somewhere then I know I have Cole and Scarlette looking out for me too."

And Cam, although I doubt that would go over well currently.

"Speaking of Scarlette," Trent's tone catches my attention and I look up at him to see his gaze filled with curiosity, "She said to tell you that she has clothes for school tomorrow - she had a feeling that you might want to borrow some."

I'm grateful that she hasn't outrightly told him that I can't afford to buy clothes and that most of the stuff that I do have with me is tainted with memories that I'd rather forget. It was embarrassing enough that she and Kristie knew and had figured out why I didn't buy my dress for the date - I couldn't bear to have everyone feeling sorry for me.

But I know that Trent knows that there's more to it than wanting a change, his eyes constantly feel as though they're digging into my secrets that I'm ashamed of. However, he doesn't say anything and lets it slide, his face turning upwards once more as it falls back onto his pillow.

"I appreciate that," I answer with a yawn, settling back against his chest as my body relaxes. Trent draws shapes on my back with a featherlight skim, "I'll go to her room in the morning with Kristie."

Whether it's the calm that I feel at Trent's touch or the events of today finally catching up with me, my eyes begin to droop and my mind jumbles it's thought's. The steady beating of his heart lulling me into a fog of unconsciousness. I feel Trent move slightly from under me and there's a quiet 'click' as the room is thrown into darkness. It looks strikingly like the back of my eyelids.

"Sleep, dorogaya," he whispers, lips brushing my forehead," I'll wake you in the morning."

A part of me wants to stay awake, to keep talking to Trent and basking in this safe feeling that his arms have given me, that his voice pulls me into. But it's a losing battle - my limbs not listening to me as they shut down and my dreams begin to flow into my subconscious, whisking me away from reality.

I do not know if it's because I'm in Trent's arms or because for the first time tonight I've let someone into my most private parts without fear that they'll hurt me but I don't have a nightmare.

There's no snarling voices or hands reaching out to tear away my happiness, I don't wake up screaming or with tears streaming down my face.

No - I sleep sound. The deepest sleep that I have had in a long time.

And I know it's because of Trent.

God, I loved him.

My dreams that night were different from any other I'd had before. It was like a broken jigsaw puzzle; quick flashes of colour and a faint scent wafting through the air, the more I seemed to look the more they changed shape.

There was a cool breeze brushing past my legs and the sun was barely peaking out of the horizon - that much I could tell. A humming accompanied it- at first, I thought it was water rushing down a waterfall. 

Steady, constant.

But when I focused I could just make out the gentle drill to it and the frequency changes dotting from low to high. It was almost like... electricity?

I'm not scared. For some reason I -

I don't feel anything.

From the blurred pieces, a figure emerges, pale, glowing. 

Was it my mother?

All at once, the breath between us feels like a step but also a mile, my head trying to drag up some recognisance of the colours forming shapes. 

It stays like that all night.

My fingertips seeming to brush the answer with every inhale that I take. 

But it's peaceful.

For some reason, the limbo dream that I have fallen into is like a lullaby - comforting and melodic. 

Nothing to be afraid of.

Well, not yet anyway.

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dun Dun DUN !!!!! Things are getting BIIIIIG!! I'm so excited and so in love with you all x