chapter five — all alone
December 31st, 1976

      Maurice mindlessly clawed at his forearm, the one that would forever be desecrated with that mark his grandmother refers to as a gift, in reality, that mark was a one-way ticket to a wooden box six feet under. He ran his fingers over the spines of the books before he pulled one out, sitting in the corner facing the wall picking up on the page he left off on.

      He should be excited for the upcoming term, it was his last months at Hogwarts before he would dive into the world on his own, free. That is how his life should've looked like in the next six months, instead, he stayed up late at night, watching as death eaters dragged the poor man out into the backyard where they disposed of his corpse.

      It was bloody mad, that's what it was. He deserved more than being burnt to nothing but ashes, that was all that remained of him. A small pile of ashes. Maurice knew nothing about the man, Merlin, he didn't even know his name. He will never get the chance to do the right thing for his family, and they will never get the chance to say goodbye to him. Somewhere in London, a woman anxiously awaited the return of her husband.

      And his daughter, thinking about that little girl made Maurice feel sick to his stomach, she'll spend her entire life wondering what happened to her father. All of those sleepless nights she'll have to make up stories about him, just like Maurice did for his parents. He deserved a proper burial, which he'll never get.

      "What are you reading there?" A rather gentle voice snapped him out of his thoughts, he glanced over his shoulder to meet a woman with brown and silver hair. "You're Ethel's grandson, right?" She queried, hunkering down next to him as he nodded his head.

      With a swift motion, he closed the book, flipping it over to reveal the cover. "Animal Ghosts of Britain," he admitted. "This may sound silly, but I've always dreamt of encountering a ghost animal," He quickly stopped mid-sentence. "How rude of me, I'm Maurice." He extended his arm out.

      "Narcissa," She paused, taking his hand in hers. "Narcissa Malfoy, and no it's not silly at all, as a child I too dreamt of encountering one." She added with a warm smile on her face causing the corners of her eyes to wrinkle.

      Her name sounded strangely familiar, Maurice quickly connected the dots she was related to Sirius, but he wasn't sure how seeing as Sirius rarely spoke about his family. There was no way he could casually ask him that evening without accidentally exposing himself as a death eater. "My dear cousin encountered one when he was younger."

      He raised his eyebrows with his mouth agape. "No way, that's brilliant!" He exclaimed, assuming she was talking about Sirius, or maybe his younger brother— Regulus? Blimey, Maurice didn't know any other cousins she could be talking about. "Do you know what animal it was?" He queried, resting the aged book on his lap.

      Narcissa eagerly nodded her head. "It was a rabbit," she said with a smile. "He only saw it momentarily though." She continued, that warm smile returning to her face when she saw how his face brightened from within. A beat. "I wanted to ask you how you were, I assume last night was your first..." She motioned over to the door that led to the foyer. Maurice knew exactly what she was referring to. "I know it can be intense."

      He abruptly interrupted her. "I'm fine, truly." He intoned, dragging those words out from his mouth, despite their kicking and screaming as he did.

      In reality, Maurice was the furthest from being okay, okay was long gone the moment he was forced to become a death eater. He was trying his best to steady himself, to keep his composure even when all he wanted to do was hug his mum and pretend none of this was happening.

      "Maurice, dear!" His grandmother called from the dining hall.

      He offered Narcissa a soft smile before standing up, neatly tucking the book away into its resting place on the shelf, among the other books Maurice has read throughout the years. "It was a pleasure meeting you!" He waved at her before he walked past the grand doors of the library and wandered into the dining hall.

      Ethel stood by the head of the table, reading through a piece of parchment paper mumbling to herself as she read whatever was scribbled on it. "Ah, there you are." She said flatly. "Tell me, will you be spending the evening with us or with that family?" She queried, her eyes peering out from the top of the parchment paper. "No, no you imbecile those go over there!" She hissed at a house elf who quickly scurried away holding a vase in his hands, he quickly apologised.

      He looked around, watching as the house elves deftly moved around the room, trying their best to follow her instructions without stepping on her toes. This, the scene that was playing out in front of his own eyes was the reason he set Tobbs free.

      Ethel used to scream at him a lot whenever he would trip over his own feet, or drop anything, she would sometimes go as far as whacking him with the daily prophet.

      He cleared his throat. "I promised James that I would be there today." For a brief moment, Maurice thought her eyes were about to get frozen in the back of her head. "There's nobody here my age, I'd have nobody to talk to at all, nan." He added, though he figured he would have one person if he did decide to stay, which would never happen. Ethel wasn't known for throwing any holiday parties, specifically Christmas, to her that day was pointless.

      "I truly do not know what I did or where I went wrong for you to constantly pick that family over your own." She dramatically sighed, raising the back of her hand to her forehead. "Over your own flesh and blood?" She queried and Maurice could feel a heat rise to his cheeks, all he wanted to do was scream at her and tell her all the reasons he would always pick them over her.

      Instead, he crammed his feelings into a small box, threw the key away, and hid it away in the back of his mind. In a place where they would not put his life in danger. "I'm sorry Nan, I didn't know you were going to do," he gestured at the dining hall, "this."

      "Oh please don't be daft, dear." She handed the parchment paper to a house elf who just so happened to be walking by. "We have guests to entertain, of course, I was going to throw a lavish dinner to celebrate the New Year." Maurice shifted his weight on his legs as he leaned on the door frame.

      "I'm sure it'll be great, Nan"

      "There is no doubt about that, after all, it is a dinner I'm hosting." She boasted, of course, Maurice wouldn't have any experience with her dinner parties. Since his mind was always tucked away under the imperius curse, he never had the chance to sit down for one of her dinner parties and have full control over his actions. "Whatever happened to that clumsy house elf of yours?" She questioned. "He is nowhere to be found."

      "Tobbs, I uh, I gave him a knitted cap yesterday, he's free now."

      "Ah, I see." She said, the tone of her voice laced with provocation. "Do you know how much I paid for that bloody house elf, who was barely capable of doing his job properly?" She snapped, dropping the glass she was holding in her hand, shards of glass scattered around the floor. A house elf quickly cleaned up the shards. "I didn't tell you to clean that up, did I?" The house elf quickly apologised before running back into the kitchen, as fast as his little legs could carry him. "What gives you the right to give it freedom?"

      "I—I wanted him to have a better life" He stammered over his own words, his breathing growing uneven as his grandmother took a couple of steps towards him.

      The corners of her lips turned upward, forming a thin line. "Oh dear," She stated. Maurice was paralysed with fear as his grandmother approached him. "Elves are not meant to have any kind of life, other than what is given to them." She jabbed her fingernails into his chest, her voice above a whisper. "Please, get out of my sight." She instructed.

      He nodded with his head hanging low, trying to disguise the tears that were dwelling in his eyes. "Oh and dear, about your parents," she called out before he turned the corner. "Forget I ever told you that I would give you any answers." That one sentence was enough for the barrier that was holding the ocean behind his eyes to completely give out.

      Without saying a single word, he rushed out of the dining hall, and before he realised, his back was pressed against the door of his bedroom. With the palms of his hands, he quickly wiped away his tears, breathing in and out slowly.

      "Merlin, I can't do this anymore." He whispered to himself, traces of tears stained his face. He walked over to his desk where he kept the parchment paper and started writing yet another letter to his parents to pass the time, they were the only ones he could tell everything to.

      The sand in his hourglass trickled down as the sun quickly set on the horizon for the last time that year. By the time Maurice had finished the letter, the sound of music and chattering could be heard from his bedroom. "Happy New Years, mum and dad." He mumbled to himself as he stored the letter he had just written in the box.

      He tried his best to walk out of the front door without being noticed by anyone, all he wanted to do was get away from this life even if it was just for the night. "Ah, there he is, my beloved grandson!" His grandmother squealed, drawing the attention of everyone in the dining room to him. She waved him over and he reluctantly walked into the dining hall.

      He looked around the room full of faces, both old and new before his gaze landed on Narcissa who waved at him with that warm smile on her face. Sitting next to her was the bloke Maurice assumed could be either her boyfriend or husband. A handsome bloke without a doubt, his almost white hair made him stand out in the crowd full of brown, black, and blonde hair.

      She was the only familiar face in the sea of people who swirled champagne glasses in their hands and discussed their love for all things pureblood, or whatever they spoke about, Maurice had no idea. "Sorry Nan, I'm running a bit late." He explained. She nodded her head and waved her hand at him in a dismissive manner. He quickly turned on his heels before he stepped out of the front door only to be met by a cold breeze blowing through his hair.

      During his walk to the Potter Manor, he involuntarily started tearing up, Maurice wasn't quite sure if it was because of today or everything that has happened to him since November. Being forced to take the mark, saying goodbye to Tobbs, his severe punishment, the man who died because of him, and most importantly, his parents. By the time he raised his hand to the metal knocker, gently hitting it against the door three times, his eyes were quite puffy and red.

      It was all too much for Maurice, and he needed someone he could talk to, anyone, he knew what he was risking by even entertaining that thought that wandered into his mind.

      "Maurice, dear!" Euphemia greeted him with a beatific smile. "Come in, come in!" She waved him inside, and there it was, that warmth Maurice yearned for. "How are you dear?" She queried, offering to take his coat and scarf, both of which were covered with specks of snow that had begun to melt.

      "How have you been kiddo?" Fleamont asked in unison with his wife.

      His lips softly quivered as he spoke. "I'm well." He bit down on the side of his cheek, hoping it would suppress the tears that were creeping up on him. It seemed to have the opposite effect on him, his breathing quickly growing uneven while tears stung his eyes.

      Once she caught a better glimpse of him in the light that radiated from the fireplace, her expression shifted. "Are you okay dear?" She asked, gazing at Fleamont who shrugged his shoulders before leaning down to meet his eyes.

      "Everything okay?" He added.

      Merlin, Maurice wanted to break down right then and there. It was all just becoming too much for a seventeen-year-old boy to handle. Too much for him to carry on his shoulders. Instead, he shook his head, forcing a smile on his lips. "Yes, er sorry the cool breeze must've been too harsh tonight." He chuckled, wiping tears away from his face.

      "Maurice!" Sirius shouted as he quickly ran down the stairs, engulfing his arms around Maurice who softly winced, but thankfully Sirius didn't notice. "I missed you so bloody much!" He spoke into Maurice's hair. Euphemia and Fleamont smiled at one another as they walked into the family room where they had a fire going, and where they were entertaining a couple of guests with stories.

      "Er, I think I missed you more." Maurice nudged Sirius's side gently. He looked around when he noticed James's presence was nowhere to be seen. "Please don't tell me James decided to take a short trip to visit Peter." Sirius chuckled with his head tilting back.

      "No, he's just taking extra long in the shower." He ran his fingers through his jet-black hair, the resemblance between James and Narcissa was subtle, it was something you had to look for to spot it. They both had sharp yet soft features, timeless was the word to describe them. "No idea how you put up with him Maurice, truly." He walked back up the stairs and Maurice followed him.

      The feeling wasn't going away, he was still struggling to keep his head above the water despite being in the company of the people he cherished the most. "Bloody hell, how has this year gone by so fast?" Sirius queried resting his elbows on the windowsill. The sound of water running could be heard from the other end of the room, before abruptly stopping.

      As he stepped out of the bathroom with a plain t-shirt and sweatpants Maurice ran up to him, wrapping his arms around James, causing him to drop the towel he was holding. A silence fell over the room as Maurice started quietly sobbing in James' neck.

      He was quickly cracking under the pressure of the secret he had been keeping from them. James pulled away from the hug, examining Maurice's face as the tears he had been fighting back finally decided to run free. "What happened? What's wrong?" He queried knowing something was off. "Talk to us," he added.

      Maurice quickly shook his head, tears rolling from his chin and landing on his sweater. "Mate, whatever it is, we can help you," Sirius chimed in, placing a hand over Maurice's shoulder.

      He hesitated before he turned around with his back facing them, he slowly rolled up his shirt. "Bloody hell," James said, seizing Maurice by the shoulder and pulling him closer. Bruises in raw, vivid, purple spotted the area around his spine down to the small of his back. "Reece, what is this?"

      "My grandmother."

      "What?" James queried, furrowing his eyebrows. Sirius was bewildered, but mostly disgusted at the thought of Maurice's grandmother hurting him. There was a short pause before James broke the silence. "Why did she do this?"

      "No, no, no James this is the one thing I can't tell you about. I can't tell anyone." Both boys watched in pure horror as their closest friend fell apart in front of their very own eyes. There was nothing James could do to take his pain away. He hated feeling useless.

      "We're not just anyone, Maurice, you can tell us anything," Sirius stated.

      His chest rose up and down uncontrollably as he tried his best to catch his breath. "No, I can't, because that would involve both of you in this mess," he hesitated. "You two cannot be in this," his breath hitched as he quickly shook his head, sobbing quietly.

      The fireworks going off around the street flooded the room in colors of red, blue, gold, and silver. Sirius' jaw began to twitch, and the sight of Maurice breaking down in front of them pulled at his heartstrings bringing tears to his eyes. "What are you going on about?" James queried searching through his eyes. Maurice's breathing started to grow shallow as he slowly reached for his sleeve but pulled his arm away. "Hey hey, breathe," James quickly stated, placing his hands on his shoulder as so to steady him in place.

      "We're family, the lot of us," Sirius spoke.

      He closed his eyes before slowly tugging at his sleeve, the one with the stain. The dark bruises that lingered perfectly framed the mark. Both boys looked down at his arm and a deafening silence fell over their room. And oh, Maurice's stomach twisted and turned in on itself, and his mind fell into a never-ending spiral.

      James' soft expression grew sour as he could only focus on that... mark on his forearm. "How long?" He queried, seizing his arm to get a closer look hoping his eyes were just playing tricks on him. Maurice couldn't bear to look James in the eyes. "How long!" he shouted, tightening his grip.

      He finally spoke, tears trickling down from his puffy eyes. "November thirteenth," James chuckled to himself, letting go of his arm as if he were the physical embodiment of the plague.

      "You have been lying to our faces for an entire month?" He tilted his head trying to find Maurice's eyes. "Were you ever going to tell us?" He queried, mumbling something under his neck. "You know, it doesn't surprise me at all. Your grandmother is one of them right, it was just a matter of time before you turned into her. Your parents would be ashamed of you, Maurice."

      Those words, those words completely shattered his heart. He had never seen this side of James, not even when they would get into pointless arguments. He never used his parents as a weapon. "What?" He took a step back in disbelief. "I didn't choose to get this." That was all he could say.

      The entire time, Sirius watched him in pure disbelief, he had no words for him. None. "Please, just go and don't ever step foot in this house if you don't want me to tell everyone the truth about you and what you are," James demanded walking away from him.

      "I'm sorry." He whispered to himself before the warmth quickly dispelled from his skin, turning into a translucent gray. He floated out of the window, turning back to look at James who glared at him with pure disgust.

      Maurice was truly all alone now. He had lost everyone he cared about in his life; the only person he had left was his grandmother. He sobbed to himself as he flew across the sky. He didn't even realize the clock had struck midnight until the vibrant colors exploded across the sky. Maurice had just started the new year losing everyone. He was on his own. 

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authors note, seeing maurice just completely break down under the pressure that evil lady put on him, it absolutely broke my heart 🤧

oddly enough this chapter was such a blast to write, so I hope you enjoyed it!! the hogwarts era is in the horizon i promise 🤍🤍