~Inspired by Syml - Where's my Love

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Standing here with you at night in the rain makes me think,

"Cold bones, yeah, that's my love"

I keep thinking about this river somewhere, with the water moving really fast. And these two people in the water, trying to hold onto each other, holding on as hard as they can, but in the end it's just too much. The current's too strong. They've got to let go, drift apart. I think that's how it is with us.

I wonder if we were ever meant to hold each other. All I know is that I never want to let you go but...I can't stop you, no matter how much I beg and plead for you not to go.

"He hides away, like a ghost"

I looked at Satoru while he continued to have his back to me. Why ? Why can't you turn around? Why can't you see it?

"Satoru, please. I care what happens to you, so please, don't do this, please."

Satoru clenched his fists. He knew, of course he knew. She was the only one who ever saw him, not the strongest, not the heir to the Gojo clan, just him, just Satoru. But he couldn't change it, he had to do it, he had no other choice. He is who he is, he couldn't turn back, it was already too late for that and still. He had never wanted it as much as he did in this moment. Curse the Jujutsu Society, curse Sukuna. He would love nothing more than to leave everything behind and run away with her, it doesn't matter where, as long as he is away from all the drama, just her and him. But he couldn't do that, not anymore.

"Ooh, does he know that we bleed the same?"

"I can't. I'm sorry."

and that broke something inside me. The tears streamed unstoppably down my cheeks. No. I couldn't just accept it like that, not like that. I couldn't let him go like that. Satoru was strong but that didn't mean he couldn't still get hurt, that he didn't feel anything. I knew what the world had done to him but I couldn't let it end like this. He was more than just a weapon more than just a monster. He was Satoru, damn he was my Satoru. He couldn't just leave, not like that, not before I could tell him everything he never got to hear.

"Okay, I can't stop you, but please listen to me for a moment, I beg you."

"Ooh, don't wanna cry but I break that way"

Satoru sighed, he knew that wasn't a good idea. He should go, but he couldn't refuse her this wish, after all it could be the last time they would see each other, this was the farewell, probably the last, there would never be another opportunity to say all of this which was never said. So he listens to her, one last time.

"You know, Satoru, I know you. You're someone who cares way too much and gets little in return. You love your students, they're important to you, you've taken on a lot of burdens so they don't have to. You have taken on the burden of this world as if it were a given but it's not, it never was Satoru"

"Cold sheets, oh, where's my love?"

Satoru slowly turned to her, not believing what she was saying.

"And maybe you can hide this burden from everyone else, maybe you can pretend that this doesn't hurt you, but not from me. You can never hide from me, Satoru, because I see you. I only ever have seen you and you don't need Six-Eyes for that."

"I am searching high
I'm searching low in the night"

Satoru was shocked, he was speechless. Was she really serious? He knew that for her he was more than just the strongest but that...she saw him, really saw him for who he was... and that was the moment he fell in love with her even more.

"You know, for the World you were perfect," I smiled at him sadly but also with all the love I had, "and I knew you were, I saw it, and so I loved you. But then I saw that you were not perfect and you know what?" I could see his eyes getting bigger with every sentence. I knew he wasn't used to this but I had to tell him.

"Ooh, does he know that we bleed the same?"

"I loved you even more."

Satoru didn't know what was happening to him, it was like everything in his head stopped and that never happened. Satoru was always active, his brain working at full speed, but right now, in this moment...it was as if time itself had frozen. Everything that normally went through his head, every step, every thought, even maintaining his limitlessness, everything stopped, all that remained was her.

For the first time in a long time, the rain hit him.

"Ooh, don't wanna cry but I break that way"

"And When I say I love you more, I don't mean I love you more than you love me. I mean I love you more than the bad days ahead of us, I love you more than any fight we will ever have. I love you more than the distance between us, I love you more than any obstacle that could try and come between us. I love you the most." I literally screamed the last sentences into his face, I could only look at him with teary eyes and hope that my feelings would finally reach him, that this would be enough for him.

"Did he run away? Did he run away? I don't know"

"You know, Satoru, I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her, to tell him that he is enough, more than enough, that he is everything I need and that I couldn't ask for anything better than him, all I ask him is that he stay, stay with me, please."

"If he ran away, if he ran away, come back home
Just come home"

Something broke inside Satoru, he didn't know what but he didn't care. All that really mattered was that he ran up to her and pulled her into his arms to kiss her. Satoru wrapped his arms around her waist as if he was afraid that she would disintegrate at any moment as she wrapped her arms around his neck and lost herself completely in him.

"I got a fear, oh, in my blood"

"I love you, so much" Satoru whispered, our heads leaning against each other as we both couldn't stop the tears "You are everything to me, I..." He didn't know how to put it into words, what he was feeling right now, was hard to put into words "I don't know what I can do, but I promise you one thing, everything I am, everything I have, it's yours" Satoru kissed her again and again and again. He didn't know how long they stood together in the rain and just kissed but he knew it would end, it would always end.

"She was carried up into the clouds, high above"

"You know it has to be but I promise I'll win, I'll come back to you and if I do then I promise you I'll stay, forever" Satoru kissed her one last time before letting her go with a heavy heart. It had to be, he didn't want it but he had to go, he had to fight for her, one last time. He didn't know if he would come back, but what he did know was that he would move heaven and earth to get back to her. He was now even more motivated to win this fight. Satoru gave her one last kiss on the cheek before disappearing to put an end to it all.

I just watched him as he left.

"Ooh, if you've bled, I bleed the same
Ooh, if you're scared, I'm on my way"

Liar.

If he were honest with himself, he knew that he was lying right now. I knew I couldn't stop him and yet, I had hoped so much...but it didn't matter anymore. He was gone and I knew he wouldn't come back, why couldn't he be selfish for once in his life? Why did it always have to be Satoru who had to fix everything? It wasn't fair, it never was. But I couldn't change it, because in the end, when all is said and done, grief is the price we pay for love.

"Did you run away? Did you run away? I don't need to know"

Some stories don't have happy endings. Even love stories. Maybe especially love stories.

-

Now I stood here. Looking at a grave where no one was even buried. I stood with an umbrella while just staring at the tombstone with a sad look.

What a joke.

You lied Satoru.

But I knew it, I knew it from the beginning and you knew it too. I hope that wherever you are now, that you're feeling better, maybe you're finally home now.

"If you ran away, if you ran away, come back home
Just come home"

Satoru Gojo
Friend, teacher, lover, The strongest