Once, there was a girl who vowed
she would save everyone in the
world, but forgot herself.

Holly Black - The Darkest Part of the Forest

Lyssa remembers very little of her mother. But even now, nearly three decades after she left her home village and came to Os Alta to be trained as a Healer, she remembers what she used to say to her. She can hear her voice, klicking her tongue and shaking her head. You can't help it, child. It's just in your nature, her mother would say with the saddest eyes Lyssa has ever seen. Those eyes haunt her even today, in the gilded walls of the Little Palace. She never understood back then. The need to put people back together rooted deep inside her for as long as she can think back.

Now, she has a name for what she is. A Healer. One of the best.

Yet, Lyssa can never quite shake her mother's voice. Some nights, wrapped in warm, silk sheets or Aleksander's arms she would wake up, chased from her sleep by her mother's lament. You cannot help it, child. It's just in your nature. This curse, this need to fix people. Even if they do not want to be fixed. Even if it breaks you in the process.

Only many years later, Lyssa learns that her gift is in fact, a blessing and a curse. Healer and Heartrender. Different sides of the same coin. It heals and it tears apart. And Lyssa will end just the same.

LYSSA GOLUBEVA
- sarah gadon -
The Healer

GENERAL KIRIGAN/ALEKSANDER MOROZOVA
- ben barnes -
The Shadow Summoner

WRITTEN
may 10, 2021 - ???

DISCLAIMER
i do not own the shadow and bone tv series, or the grishaverse, however i do own my original characters and their individual plotlines

WARNING
mentions of violence, death, blood and gore, unhealthy coping mechanisms

DEDICATED TO:
allthelostboys tomscruise MorningStar22-16  nicorosbergs kylieromano RhiaahwtFuck siIksIuts aBookWorm189 Juti0733571

AUTHORS NOTE
🕊no 1: there's a lot of symbolism in the names so,, about lyssa's name; i was saving pins and stuff on pinterest for an original novel i'm currently in the early stages of writing draft 1 and i came across the name lyssa and then i looked it up and on a lot of sites it says that the name means noble bUT in greek myth lyssa is the spirit of mad rage, frenzy and associated with insanity and i was googling russian surnames and found "volkov" which is derived from the russian word for wolf (ah yes,,, me and wolf symbolism in my grisha fics) but then i found "golubev" which apparently is derived from the russian word for dove and i was like 👁👄👁 i am looking!! respectfully!!!! esp with this plot🤭🤭🤭
🕊no. 2: the entire thematic of "gods&monsters" in the title and this stuff is important! like,,,, we start out with nice and fluffy and happy stuff and the closer we get to season 1 and the further plot of the series,,, stuff is gonna happen and it's gonna change and all this symbolism is gonna come into fruition. it's also gonna hurt. a lot.

so... yeah welcome back to g&m and it's third run!! eek here we go i guess!! (also.. excuse some of the writing this is from back when s1 was released 🤡😵‍💫) before i unpublished the fic i asked if anyone wanted a dt whenever or if it comes back, so that's who's in the decidations! i figured i'd still let y'all know even if you probably don't remember this fic haha. i'm also trying to go through old posts on my profile to find anyone who reached out to me about the fic in case they're interested to know it's back.

please leave a comment and let me know what you think💖