CHAPTER THREE
a promise to the dead

The next morning, it's one of those rare instances when Lyssa and Irina both have nothing to do all day but sit around. So, they'd decided to use the opportunity and go into the city together. It'd been a while since they'd been to Nicolo's, a bakery they'd visited since their teenage years.

Irina lets out a whistle when she knocks at Lyssa's bedroom and the blonde opens the door. "Don't you look fancy," Irina says as she eyes her. "If I'd known we were going all out today, I would've made more of an effort."

Lyssa rolls her eyes as she opens her door, letting her in. "You look great." She replies as Irina walks past her and plops down on her bed.

Both of them had opted to not wear their keftas today and, for once, had made an excuse not to wear the standard uniform they all usually wore beneath it. After holding a hand out of her window to feel the temperature, Lyssa had decided that the early spring weather had entirely skipped the idea of spring this week and had gone straight to summer. She'd ended up wearing one of her more light and airy dresses in a soft, pink color.

Irina musters the dress, the slippers she pulls on and her face. She shakes her head. "Let's hope your general doesn't come by us when we're out. I want to spend some time together today."

Lyssa tosses one of her shawls at Irina. "I hope Aleksander doesn't see us, period. I'm genuinely worried he might throw a fit seeing us in keftas. Or, saints forbid, in something other than the uniforms."

Her friend lets out a choked snort. "Truth be told if my girl looked like this, I'd throw a fit, too."

"Ha ha," Lyssa huffs. "I look fine."

"You look like you might start a riot."

Lyssa throws her a dark look, which Irina ignores. "Don't worry about it. You look your normal, dashing self. Just with a more tasteful outfit. But you could be wearing a sack and start a riot, so..." she shrugs.

"I could also start a riot by crushing the men's hearts." Lyssa replies.

"Now that's an idea for an entertaining day." Irina says with a grin. "Although I think if you don't want the general to throw a fit, that might not be the best course of action."

Lyssa only gives her friend a wink as she puts on her other slipper.

"You know," Irina says after a long moment, her tone more serious than it was before. "It's still odd to hear you talk about him that way."

Lyssa looks after friend, tilting her head slightly. "It's been three years, Irina. How else am I supposed to talk about him?"

"I know. It's just..." Irina lets out a long sigh. "When the thing between you two first started I never thought you would last longer than that one time. And then after... I always thought it was more of a distraction than anything else really."

It had been. Three years ago, Lyssa had been haunted and consumed by grief. She truly had no idea how they'd ended up in the council room adjacent to Aleksander's bedroom after the winter fete. Or just how she might've thought sleeping with their general was a good idea.

But in the end, Lyssa hadn't thought it would go past that one time, either. It was a one-time distraction. When she'd woken up the next morning in his bed and in his arms, she'd quietly dressed and slipped out of his bedroom. She had thought that they'd just ignore it and go back to the way things were before the fete.

It was also what she'd thought the next time and the time after that.

Only, things had never gone back to the way they were before. Somewhere along the way, three years later, they'd ended up here.

"You know, if it's not what you want, then you can just leave him." Irina says slowly.

Lyssa gives her a surprised look. "Why would you say that?" She asks, drawing her eyebrows together in a soft frown.

"Because it's just... I worry about you, okay?" Irina says, dragging a hand through her thick, dark hair. "He's scarily powerful. I just don't want you to get hurt."

"It's what I want." Lyssa says with a soft smile as she reaches out and squeezes Irina's hand. "Promise. Besides, I think it might be a little late of a realization after three years."

"I don't care if he's our general or the second most powerful man in Ravka. I don't even care he's a Darkling." Irina replies, squeezing her hand in return. "If you ever change your mind, whether it's tomorrow or in fifteen years, all you need to do is say the word and I'll be there."

🕊🦂🕊🦂

Later, when it's midmorning and the sun is shining down on them, Lyssa and Irina are sitting outside Nicolo's sharing a few pastries.

Irina is in the middle of eating one of the blinis between them when Lyssa pushes her own plate, still half-filled, away and gives her friend a look.

"What?" Irina draws up an eyebrow.

After a moment, Lyssa sighs, straightening the skirt o her dress. "Tell me about Mikhail Aleksev."

Irina lowers her fork in surprise. "How..."

"Zasha."

"I see." The other Healer looks at her for another moment, conflict in her eyes. Then, "Are you sure?

"No." Lyssa admits. "But please, still do."

Irina nods slowly. "He's in his last year. A little shy but impressively smart. A good student, too. He learns fast and is on top of all his advanced classes. I've taught him for..." She frowns slightly as she thinks back. "Four years now, I think."

Lyssa looks down the road, watching the people of Os Alta go about their business. "Has he any experience outside the Little Palace?"

Irina doesn't reply for a long moment. Lyssa nods at herself. Her silence is answer enough.

"He's a good kid, Lyssa." Irina says softly.

The darkness clouding Lyssa's eyes is one Irina knows too well. It's one she sometimes still has, too. "Maybe," Lyssa says quietly. "But I've seen enough good kids die in this war."

"That doesn't mean he doesn't deserve a chance."

At last, Lyssa turns her eyes back to Irina. She can see the fierce protectiveness and pride in her students Irina always has had. But she can also see the concern glinting in her eyes. Not for the boy, but for Lyssa. She doesn't need to ask to know what has caused it. Her friends had seen her four years ago. And she hadn't missed Irina asking her if she was sure to even consider taking on another student.

Stop letting your ghosts rule you and say yes to one who deserves to step in your path, Zasha had said.

Lyssa just didn't know if she was ready to.

"Has anyone mentioned to him what Zasha suggested?" She instead asks and Irina shakes his head.

"No. He has no idea. Although he does practically worship the ground you walk on. Becoming your student and being a great Healer is all he ever talks about."

Beneath the round table they're sitting at, Lyssa's hands curl into fists. She turns her head back down the road, the rising sun glittering against the street and the houses. "I want him to take on private extra lessons with Botkin. That's one of my conditions if I ever am to consider taking him on as a student."

Irina nods slowly. "That shouldn't be a problem."

"And he'll start out as my assistant and not as my student." Lyssa continues.

"Alright." Irina leans back in her seat, clasping her hands together. Watching Lyssa as she watches the morning bustling of the city.

"And before any of that I want to talk to him."

"That sounds fair. When?"

Lyssa gives her a glance. "I don't know. Sometime this week. Can you give me his schedule so I can find a time that fits both of us?"

"Sure. I'll take care of it as soon as we're back." Irina replies as she takes up the fork again.

Lyssa only nods. "I'm not making any promises, Irina." She says, a last turning fully back to her friend. "So don't give the boy any hope."

Irina lets out a huff, pointing at her with the fork, a piece of the blini already on it. "With an attitude like yours, I don't think anyone would dare give himself false hope."

Her tone is light, but Lyssa can hear the force she has to put behind it to make it so. This is hard on Irina, too, she reminds herself. Because Irina knows. Irina was there to drag Lyssa through it all. Just like Alexei, and Zora, and Irina, and her had dragged each other through everything else, even if they felt like giving up.

She also cannot ignore the glimmer of hope in Irina's eyes, despite her words. It feels like something is taking that old, rotting wound in her heart and twists the shard still inside again. For the first time in a long while, it doesn't feel so old anymore.

Irina offers her no reassurance. Lyssa is glad for it. They both know that in this life, with the war and the Fold and everything else, there are no reassurances. And every promise someone makes you to stay safe, to stay alive is a lie.

Because nobody can make those promises. Not really, anyways.

They're sitting in silence for a long time after that, only disturbed by one of the waiters checking in on them and Irina ordering another round of blini, for her, and medovik, for Lyssa, to add to the other samples of pastries still in front of them. Even if they always end up sharing anyways.

Just as the waiter arrives with their order, a whistle sounds out from the walkway, and a few moments later, a chair is being dragged to their table and a heavy body lets himself fall onto it. "Fancy meeting you guys here," Alexei says with a grin.

Irina rolls her eyes just as a small group of Etherealki, Zorah among them, arrive at their table. Pointing with her fork at Alexei, Irina adds, "We literally told you we'd be here around noon today, you oaf."

Alexei just shrugs and he snatches an entire blini from the plate and stuffs it into his mouth without preamble.

Irina lets out a horrified screech. "You heathen!"

Lyssa swears that Irina's left eye starts twitching when Alexei grins at her and takes another blini from the plate.

He barley has time to move off the chair and out of the way before Irina's punch can hit him in the arm.

Ivo sighs as the rest of the group reaches them. "I think he's lost all his manners while we were gone." He points out with a half apologetic and half amused smile to Irina.

"Evidently," Irina grumbles as she pulls the plate of blinis to her and as away from Alexei as far as possible without it toppling off the table.

"I don't think he's ever had manners," Lev points out with a smirk.

"No, not really." Zorah agrees as she lets herself fall into the seat Alexei just vacated.

"Hey!" Alexei protests from where he's still standing a few feet away from the table, finishing off the rest of the blini.

Zora his gives him a grin as she leans froward and takes another blini.

Irina lets out a small whimper, looking longingly after the food as the Squaller takes it but doesn't stop her. She gives Lyssa a pleading look. "Stop them, will you?"

Lyssa shrugs. "I don't have a problem with them." She replies. Irina only sighs.

"And to think I ever missed any of you."

"You would give up all of your blinis if it means we could stay longer." Alexei remarks as he makes his way over to them again, resting his arms on Irina's head.

Irina gives him a withering look, pushing him off her. "I think you overestimate how much I care about you."

They all knew she was lying.

Alexei gives the others in their group a look. "We actually have a meeting soon, so we can't stay but we're going to the banya tonight, if you guys want to join?"

"And miss up an opportunity to see you guys before you go off to the border post again? No way." Irina says firmly.

Lyssa draws up an eyebrow at her, sending her a look that plainly stated, so much for us overestimating how much you care about us.

Irina rolls her eyes at her. Shut up.

"We'll see you there," Lyssa agrees as Zorah rises from the chair again, giving them a smile.

"Can the two of you bring some of the pastries back to the Little Palace? I haven't been to Nicolo's in an eternity, and unfortunately, the Fjerdan border just doesn't have any decent bakeries."

"Sure." Lyssa says. "Any wishes in particular?"

Zorah shrugs. "Surprise us. Just make sure it's enough for this oaf," She adds, waving at Alexei.

"Hey!" Alexei calls out. "Besides, it's not like you don't eat those pastries like a starving man or anything."

"I don't think either of you really have a right to throw all that around," Ivo points out, giving them both a look. "Considering how much both of you eat on a daily basis."

Zorah just shrugs. "I think, neither can you."

"Now that we've established that we all eat a lot," Lev adds with a laugh. "I think we should start getting back to the Little Palace or we'll truly be too late and I don't want to see Kirigan's face if that happens."

Lyssa can practically see Alexei's mouth open to make one of his remarks about the mention of their general, but he stops. They'd never discussed it, but she had noticed that all three of her friends, when they were alone, didn't treat what was between Lyssa and the Summoner like anything different. Like anything alien, the way the other Grisha might. Which she was infinitely thankful for.

But they also did not dangle it in front of anyone but their little group.

She'd never asked if it was for their own benefit, or hers, but she is relieved just the same.

Lyssa is sure that a lot of the Grisha knew exactly what was happening between the two of them, but she'd never make a point of confirming their suspicions. She could do without the gossiping and the rumors - they were bad enough as it is, and she doesn't want to deal with any more of them, if she is being honest.

"We'll see you later!" Alexei calls over his shoulder, waving at them before he and Zorah follow the other two down the street.

"I never thought I'd see him smile again," Irina says as the group walks off. "Any of us, really. After Mikah..." Irina trails off.

Lyssa is quiet for a moment, looking after Alexei and Zorah and the other two Etherialki. "Yeah." Is all she says.

Because she understands. Even without Irina finishing her sentence, she understands.

She hadn't thought any of them would either after what happened.

AUTHOR'S NOTE
she's a little short but i hoped you enjoyed the chapter just the same!! there are a handful chapters of lyssa's backstory (including a lot of pain and a lil bit of baby!Lyssa and Aleksander) and AHHH i'm so excited for them!!! the first one is coming v v soon