Perhaps the most painful memory, following my mother's death, is the memory of that day when I confessed my feelings - it was after the Lunar New Year in ninth grade, with only six months left before our entrance exams.

My best friend and childhood sweetheart, Hikari, the person I had always loved and protected, said to me:

"I'm sorry, I never thought that the two of us could be a couple. Besides, I don't think we're right for each other. Maybe when we were kids, we had a lot in common, but now, Yuto, I'm in a completely different world from you."

"Huh? I don't understand what you mean by a different world, Hikari-chan. But didn't we always stick together, and both of our families have blessed our relationship? Moreover, you're the one who always said that we would get married and be together forever, right?"

She lowered her face as if to hide her embarrassment, the kind of foolish and naive things that children say, and she clicked her tongue with a sound "TSK" loud enough for me to hear before continuing:

" That was when we were kids, now things are different. Even right at this moment, I just feel embarrassed being seen with you. So please, stay away from me."

I felt like I was dying behind her bitter words. I noticed the presence of two or three people around us, but at this moment, I felt numb, as if I had no more strength, confused, not clear-headed, and lacked the courage to continue speaking. I just stammered, "Embarrassed? Why?"

Suddenly realizing that she had crossed her limits, Hikari backed away with a look of disdain, as if she were staring at a stray dog rummaging through the trash.

"Regardless, you and I will never be together! You should give up, and we still have our entrance exams to prepare for. What we need now is to 'study.'"

After saying that, she rushed off like the wind, leaving me standing here with the laughter and mockery of the girls on the first floor.

"Hey, do you see that short guy over there? He's so funny!" -A

"Yeah, even though he's her childhood friend, after this, he will become the school's laughingstock, he should know his place, right? Hahaha, but in any case, he's really brave." -B

"Brave, huh? Clown is more like it. Poor Hikari-chan, wasting her time on a guy like him." -C

"..." -D

"You don't find it funny, Nana-chan?" B

Nana-chan: "You guys..." 

Before D could respond to the question from girl B, A noticed that I was staring at them with a resentful look in my eyes.

"Oops, that guy spotted us, B-chan, you laughed so hard." A

"Is it my fault? Hmph! You guys were also laughing!"

"Come on, let's go, a little regret tho, I still want to see his embarrassed face." - C

"Uwahhh, it's too scary, let's go, let's go." - B

"..." (pitiful) - Nana/ D

Even though I asked why, I could vaguely guess the reason, perhaps it was because of my appearance. I was shorter than my peers (150cm). My face wasn't exactly handsome, especially when compared to the angelic Hikari. I was more like a toad.

After hearing the whispers and offensive comments from those girls, this incident was deeply engraved into my subconscious. It took a while for me to regain my composure and leave the place where my heart had frozen.

... Farewell, my first love.

Not long after that, my failed confession became widespread throughout the school and the neighborhood where I lived. I became the center of cruel jokes, the subject of mockery, and the nickname "Chú Lùn" (Shorty) was carved into my identity. Two weeks had passed, but it seemed that it hadn't quite down. People were still talking about it, but soon after this, the nickname had vanished, replaced by something even worse.

For me, this was another hardship, but with everything I had lost, I couldn't be defeated by one or two more failures, right? Could I? Could I? Please, let it be the truth...

On February 29, Hikari publicly declared her new boyfriend on Facebook, with numerous congratulations and heart reactions from her new friends and other popular kids in school.