I got a fear, oh in my blood
He was carried up into the clouds, high above
If you bled, I'll bleed the same
If you're scared, I'm on my way

I woke up slowly, very fucking slowly.

My eyes peeled open and the first thing I felt was the heaviness spreading throughout my body. I could feel the blood pooling under my neck but I didn't know which part of my body it was coming from, I just knew everything hurt like fuck.

I felt really tired. Everything sounded muffled and distant to my ears and the only thing I could see was blurry images flashing through my eyes. There was dust in my face and something very heavy on my leg, I couldn't move even if I tried to.

Someone was calling my name, very quietly. Wait, no. They were screaming my name, but why did it sound like a whisper? A very soft, dulce whisper that was so heart-warming yet so heartbreaking at the same time.

Like the rustling of the wind in my ear, I could barely hear it but I knew it was there. I just had to find myself to answer, I had to find him...

Harry, where was he?

The last thing I remembered was his arms slinked tightly around me, but they weren't around me anymore. I was laying on a cold, hard surface and he wasn't warming me up like he usually would, he was gone.

Harry, where are you?

Someone was calling his name, shouting for him. I soon recognized the voice as mine, the cry rippling my insides in half as if it was dying to escape... but it couldn't, the words were stuck in my throat like rusty gears trying to get a machine to work again.

I needed to get up, I needed to find him and make sure he was okay. Had I lost him already? Was he... was he gone?

"Natalie!"

Now the voice was screaming my name... no, it wasn't me this time. Someone out there was shouting for me and I could hear quick footsteps approaching me, the smell of poisonous smoke invading my nostrils.

I coughed, feeling my throat getting itchy because of the fumes. It felt like fire... fire is dangerous, I had to get away from it, but what the fuck was going on?

"Natalie, baby? Thank fuck, oh, my god." Harry whispered.

I finally was able to open my eyes and I met green. His curls were very messy and there was a thin layer of sweat and dust covering his face, together with a big smudge of blood on his forehead that had me losing my shit.

"Fuck, are you hurt?" I widened my eyes, trying to reach out my hand to touch him but I couldn't.

My whole body was limp and it was starting to become a physical pain not being able to feel him, I needed him right now. His eyes looked worried and he was doing something I couldn't understand, he was going too fast for my slow brain.

I was processing everything at turtle pace and Harry's voice while he spoke wasn't coordinated with the way his mouth moved, as if the audio to the movie was delayed. I felt so dizzy and l was about to fall, but I had already fallen.

I was uncomfortable, I wanted to lay down in my bed. Where were we?

"It doesn't matter, I need to get you out of here." Harry shook his head, shifting a bit my body which only caused me to wince. "Fuck, I'm sorry."

"Get me out of where?" I flicked my eyes in between his, still too dumbfounded to understand what the fuck was going on.

I just knew my body hurt, especially my leg, and Harry was bleeding too. The place surrounding us was destroyed and there was fire and smoke hovering in the air, but I had no idea where it was coming from.

Harry paused his actions, looking into my eyes. There were tears brimming his waterlines and it was only confusing me even more, I needed an explanation and I needed it right now. What the fuck was going on?

I felt like a fucking broken record, repeating that question over and over again but never getting an answer.

"Alright, look." He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "Your leg is trapped under a pillar and I have to get it off you or else you'll bleed out. It's gonna hurt like fuck, but you have to trust me."

"I- I do." I stuttered.

Harry nodded, kissing my forehead briefly before he turned towards my legs. I immediately felt a very strong and annoying pain on the lower part of my body spreading to my stomach and I couldn't help but scream in pain.

My ears were still ringing and I could feel the tears starting to slip down my cheeks. Why was I crying? Was I okay?

I heard more voices and then two more people helping me get out... but they were also hurting me. They had to stop. Alex and Alissa?

Why am I so fucking confused?

The weight was finally lifted away from my body and I sucked in a sharp breath, panting desperately as I felt the blood staining my dress and dripping down my leg. It hurt, it hurt too much...

"Natalie, baby, c'mon. We have to leave." Harry cupped my cheeks.

I took deep breaths, trying to calm my heartbeat. He helped me stand up and I almost fell on my ass, there was too much blood cascading down my leg and I couldn't walk properly... I needed to know if everyone was okay.

The dress looked redder than it should and that freaked me out all over again, but Harry was already picking me up bridal style and carrying me towards the exit. I eyed my surroundings, but they were empty... except for some either dead or badly injured people laying on the floor.

The place was trashed to the ground and there were alarms going off, they were piercing my eardrums and making me feel dizzier than I already was. There were pieces of ceiling falling down and I knew this place was about to crumble down.

And damn right I was, because when we were reaching the exit, half a pillar fell right behind us. A roar echoed in the room and Alissa let out a started scream, all of us turning around only to find more destruction following us.

Everything I touched, I ruined.

Why did the exit suddenly look so far away? Weren't we right next to it? The room was spinning and I felt too dizzy to think, I had a horrible headache and I felt so fucking drained. I needed to get out of this fucking place.

There were innocent lives killed today and I never thought I'd find myself caring about it... but here I was. I could see the dead bodies scattered on the floor, and even if they weren't dead, they were seriously injured. There was too much blood, the smell of it was making me sick.

But the firemen and patrols would be here soon and we had to get the fuck out of this place, I couldn't stick around to mourn this people's lives right now. My body hurt like fuck.

"Harry, I can walk, c'mon." I said, tugging myself down and whimpering in pain the minute my leg was in touch with the floor.

"No, you can't, let me-"

"Just run!" I snapped, grabbing his wrists and sprinting towards the exit however I could. I practically limped all the way towards it though.

Alex and Alissa were already there, holding the door open for us. The whole structure of this building was cracking awfully loud and I was scared we wouldn't make it in time to the door, we had to-

Harry surprised the fuck out of me when he suddenly grabbed me by my shoulders and tossed me into Alex's chest... right before the ceiling fell down, blocking the door.

A gut-wrenching shriek left my body before I could process my actions, but I knew I screamed way too loud because my throat started itching. But I couldn't stop screaming and screaming and screaming and what the fuck.

Harry couldn't have just done that.

Fuck, no, this couldn't be happening. Not to me.

I kept mumbling incoherent words under my breath, or maybe I was shouting them, I had no idea anymore. I just knew I had to go save my boy, but Alex was holding me way too tight and I couldn't.

Why would he do this? Why would he risk his life to save mine? I wasn't worth it, fuck, I wasn't. I would dig through every rock blocking this door if that was what it took to get my Harry back, I needed him back right now.

Had he thrown me against Alex's chest on purpose? So I wouldn't be able to go looking for him? He would never do that to me, why wouldn't he want to get out of there? I had to save him, I had to save him because he had been saving me for the past two months and I still hadn't told him I loved him.

Harry knew how much this hurt me and he promised he'd never hurt me... why was he breaking his promise? It felt like the scalding flames were burning and ripping and destroying my insides, and I was screaming for help but nobody could hear me.

"I love you, I love you, I love you. Please don't do this to me." I kept repeating as if it would magically bring him back.

But he wasn't gone yet, wasn't he?

"Let me fucking go! I have to go fucking get him! Please!" I screamed, feeling the tears starting to pour down helplessly.

"Natalie, stop!" Alex tightened his arms around me, which only pissed me off even more.

I couldn't even feel my wound anymore, it had disappeared. The only wound I had was right in my chest, like a bullet, and I couldn't understand why weren't Alex and Alissa helping me get it out of my body.

Why were they giving up? Harry was there, waiting for me with his smiley face and his dimples and his curls and his green eyes and please don't leave me, Harry.

Please be there.

There was smoke coming out of the building and my heart was slumping in my chest while I still tried to get Alex to let me go. He had to let me go because I had to save my Harry before it was too late.

It wasn't too late yet, it wasn't. It couldn't fucking be.

"Nat, baby, c'mon. Look at me, stop!" Alex whispered, his voice cracking in the end.

Was he crying? He didn't get the right to cry, he wasn't letting me go get him out of there so he didn't fucking get the right to fucking cry.

"He's gone, you can't save him anymore." Alex sniffled.

My heart froze in my chest and I stopped in my tracks, feeling my breathing starting to get heavy.

"I- I can still save him... I can." I panted out. "He said he'd always come back for me. He promised. He said always."

Alex talked, but I couldn't hear him. I could see his lips moving but what the fuck was he saying? My ears were ringing loudly and my throat was bone-dry because this... this was a fucking nightmare and Harry was about to wake me up.

Please hurry.

"I love you, I love you, I love you." I whispered, threading my fingers in my hair and panting frantically. "I love you, can't you fucking hear me?"

My voice echoed within the rocks piled up against the door and I wondered if Harry was in there, listening to me. Maybe now that he knew I loved him he'd try to come back, he had to come back because I wasn't going to make it out alive if he didn't.

This wasn't sadness, no, this was something else, but I didn't know why. I needed help, I needed help but I only needed his help. Why would he do this to me?

He helped me with my eating disorder when no one else did, making sure I ate at least one proper meal a day.

He helped me with my nightmares, holding me and promising everything would be alright even if it wasn't true.

He made me laugh so fucking hard that my cheeks hurt, always keeping a smile on my face however he could.

He stitched my wounds and took care of my injuries even when I asked him not to.

He let me cry without judging me, hugging me each and every time.

He made sure that I was feeling supported and happy.

He never ever commented on my body, always looking at me like I was the greatest gift in his life.

He cherished my whole fucking existence without even hesitating.

He was himself around me and that was enough to make me want to be someone else, someone better, for him... for us.

Harry Edward Styles, I fucking love you. I always did and I always will.

woah that shit hurts

this is kinda rushed and the writing is terrible
but i'm really sorry for this ):