And then you take me in
And everything in me begins to feel like I belong
Like everybody needs a home
And when I take your hand

I rolled over to an empty left side of the bed, which would always freak me out. I woke up several times in the middle of the night because Natalie wasn't with me, but I was too drained to stand up and I just figured she'd be in the bathroom.

Well, she wasn't.

The TV was on and I was standing behind the couch, right where Natalie and Alex had fallen asleep... cuddling. I didn't know if I should be jealous because I knew she needed to be loved right now, but they were cuddling.

I supposed they had been watching movies or something, which was cute, but I couldn't help but feel that lump deep in my stomach.

I wasn't as bothered as I'd usually be because I knew whatever the fuck happened with Alex probably made her feel better. I hated how low she was feeling because it was making my heart break all over again.

I literally sang her to sleep last night, she was crying so hard that she couldn't focus. I was comforting her till five and I got her to sleep a bit around five thirty, when she asked me to sing. I have to admit I was surprised, but it seemed to help her so I didn't stop till I was sure she was completely out.

I couldn't imagine all the pain she was feeling. I knew she was very close to Zayn and I hated that his death had been basically our fault, he traveled to Barcelona looking for Natalie but things didn't go good for him.

I replayed everything he said a lot in my mind, like a broken record. It gave me physical pain how he told me to take care of her, as if he knew their time was over and someone else was going to look after her now.

He looked like a good guy, none of the things that happened to him were fair. My stomach turned every time I thought about the fact his own uncle was the killer, a person he probably trusted his whole life but ended up being the one who betrayed him.

Fuck, I had never seen Natalie cry this much and it made me feel something deep in my chest, an unbearable pain that couldn't be stopped. It was like hearing her heart breaking over and over again.

I knew we'd have to hang low for a while. I had the feeling Natalie wouldn't want to go into any other missions for some time. I just hoped we didn't get the trade information any time soon, despite the irony.

Last night was too heated up, I slept for only an hour and I'm pretty sure Natalie slept even less. I didn't wake her up today morning because I knew she must've been exhausted. Alissa looked sleepy too, but I knew she had slept a bit because she woke up later than I did.

I was glad Alex had helped Natalie feel better, if that's what he did. She really needed a distraction right now and I was hoping she'd let me cheer her up a bit afterwards. I still wasn't sure how, but I'd figure something out along the way.

The last thing I wanted to know about right now was our actual job. I didn't care about Louis or the diamond or Niall or Mort Negra, only Natalie. She was my main priority and I didn't want to let her down.

I was hoping we'd get a couple of days to rest now, with no secret agents breaking into our house or crazy uncles killing their nephews. I was drained, both emotionally and physically, and I wasn't even going to get started on how Natalie was feeling.

Alissa and I were leaning against the wall, looking at Alex and Natalie sleep. I know this may sound a tad creepy, but Alissa and I didn't get along and Natalie and Alex were basically the souls of the party.

"Should we be jealous?" I asked, keeping my eyes on the sleeping couple in front of us.

"I don't know..." She shook her head, crossing her arms over her chest.

Her chestnut curls were messy and she kept a straight face, lost in her thoughts. There were prominent bags under her eyes and her lids looked heavy, I could tell she was very tired.

The sounds of Natalie's breathing pattern starting to pick up pace caught us all off guard, she was starting to hyperventilate on her sleep and I went into defensive mode almost immediately. The sweat was starting to build on her hairline and she soon woke up Alex, who looked really dumbfounded at first.

"Baby?" I ran towards the couch, cupping her face.

She was still asleep but her chest was heaving up and down with deep breaths. I could see her hands shaking and Alex was starting to get alarmed as the seconds went by. Fuck, she wasn't waking up.

"Sunshine, wake up. C'mon," I muttered, palming her sweaty cheek.

"What's wrong?" Alex asked, and I didn't want to admit it but his morning voice was so fucking hot.

Not the time, Harry.

"I don't know, I think she's having a nightmare but I can't wake her up." I started to panic.

"Is she okay?" Alissa looked down on us with a scared expression on her face.

"I don't know! I-" I raised my voice, shaking Natalie's shoulders a bit. "I don't know. Natalie, please wake up."

She was starting to mumble unintelligible words under her breath, her whole body starting to spasm lightly until she finally opened her eyes. I could feel her heart thrashing against my fingertips and she took a mouthful of air, trying to calm herself.

She immediately sat up, looking at all of us with a terrified expression. Her chest was still gliding up and down and so was mine. I dreaded the worst for a second and I didn't even know what the worse was.

"Natalie, sunshine, look at me." I cupped her cheeks, guiding her to breathe deeply.

"They hurt- they-" She stuttered, grabbing my forearms for some leverage.

"Shh, it's okay, baby. You're fine, I got you." I pulled her in for a hug, a hug she didn't answer.

I gripped her tightly to assure her I was right here and she finally wrapped hesitant arms around me, starting to calm her breathing. There were tears wetting her cheeks and I could hear her little sobs in my ear.

She was whispering things but I didn't understand what she wanted to say. Her whole body was trembling under the embrace and I wanted to protect her so badly, but I didn't know how to protect her from herself.

"Do you want to go upstairs?" I asked, rubbing my hands in a circular motion on her back.

"Please." Natalie choked out.

Fuck, everything happened so quickly and I didn't even get time to process what the hell was going on, I got whiplash. I couldn't imagine what Alex was thinking about, he woke up to two people watching him sleep and another hyperventilating on his arms.

I only had experienced one of Natalie's night terrors, but still, they scared the shit out of me. It was just a harmless dream, nothing could happen to her, but I always imagined the worst and I couldn't help the strong feeling of concern in my stomach.

I hated that she suffered so much and I hated not knowing what to do. I wanted her to tell me how to help her, but I knew she had no idea either. The least I could do was try to make her feel morally better.

I tried to stand up, but Natalie was clinging on to me for dear life. Her legs and arms were flung around me, so I hoisted her up by her thighs and carried her upstairs child-like. Alissa and Alex gave me worried looks, but I dismissed them while Natalie sobbed into the crook of my neck.

I held her by the back of her thighs and placed her softly on the bed, rolling over so that now I was cuddling her from behind. I made sure to keep a tight grip around her middle because she was constantly trying to scoot further into my chest.

"Don't cry, it's okay. Nobody's gonna hurt you." I whispered, kissing the spot where her neck met her shoulder.

"I'm sorry." She sniffled, wiping her tears with the back of my hand.

I frowned into her skin, "For what?"

"I shouldn't be bothering you with this. I know you're tired and you should sleep, I'm sorry. Fuck, I'm such a liability." Natalie whispered, her voice cracking in the end.

I grasped her hips softly, turning her around so that she faced me. The tears moisted her cheeks and her lashes, eyes bloodshot from all the crying. Her hair was messy and fanning on the pillow, but she looked as beautiful as ever.

"Hey, don't ever apologize again. Look at me." I raised my eyebrows, grabbing her chin and lifting it to make her look into my eyes. "I don't mind having to take care of you. I love taking care of you. You're not a liability, you're my whole life, yeah?"

One more tear slipped its way down Natalie's cheek before she nodded shyly, pulling me in for a hug that I wished could last forever. She was tiny but she was strong, embracing me like there was nothing left to lose.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, stroking her hair.

"I don't know, I can't control my feelings anymore," She muffled into my chest, shaking her head. "Somewhere between not happy and not sad."

"Numb." I whispered.

She pulled back to look at me, her lips parted and her cheeks blushed. I didn't know what she was thinking, there was this indecipherable look behind her eyes that was making my anxieties rise.

"Yes, numb." Nat finally nodded, folding her lips to the inside of her mouth. "I don't like feeling numb."

"I don't like it either, sunshine, but sometimes it just happens." I shrugged.

She muttered a quiet 'yeah' before dropping her head dead weight on the pillow, looking up at the ceiling. The wind was blowing strongly on the white curtains as the sunlight burned past them, making them look like two shiny ghosts.

It was early in the morning, around eight. The weather here in Argentina was starting to shift into summer. The breeze was warmer and the smell in the air was nice, everything looking much more beautiful as the grass grew brighter and the sky started to clear up.

I knew we'd have to start moving around soon, killers had already bursted into our house and that meant they could track us. But I had grown fond of Argentina and I wanted to enjoy it as we stayed.

I just knew for a fact we weren't safe anymore, but that's not something I wanted to tell Natalie. Of course she was already aware of that small detail, I just didn't want to add to her suffering by telling her she wasn't safe in her own house.

"Harry, I think it's better if you back off for a while." Natalie whispered, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"What?" I raised my voice a bit, trying to find the hidden meaning behind her words.

"I think... I think you should let me go on the missions on my own." She shook her head. "You saw what happened to Zayn, I don't want you to get hurt or worse because of me."

"Hey, look at me." I called out. "I'm not going anywhere, I'm staying with you just like I promised."

"I need to protect you, Harry. I need to save you." She bit her lip, eyes turning bloodshot once again.

"You don't need to protect me from anything, baby. You can't save everyone all the time, you just have to let things happen and hey," I whispered. "I'm for sure not letting anything happen to us."

"But I have to try," She wrapped her arms around herself, kinda like she needed protection. "I don't want anyone else to get hurt, I can't afford it."

"But who'd save you then?"

Natalie stayed silent, clutching her arms tighter around herself. I knew my words had probably hit her a bit too close to home, but I wasn't going to keep sugarcoating our situation because it was pointless.

I truly meant it when I told her we'd be alright, I was just hoping it was true. I was going to do everything in my power to keep her alive, even if that meant risking or losing my own life in the process.

Natalie Perkins was a beautiful human being that deserved to live a very long life. She was getting physically better, and even if the blows kept hitting her out of nowhere, I knew she was strong.

And you know, guns eventually run out of bullets.

She was strong and I was proud of her, I was willing to hold her even if she cried for whole hours. I don't think she knew how much I loved her, I was just hoping my actions gave her the tiniest hint.

"Harry, why are you so sure we'll be alright?" Natalie looked at me with furrowed eyebrows.

I scanned her face, every little crack of light in her hazel irises and every mark on the skin of her cheeks. I loved how she looked like this, reflected with the morning light and with a bedhead appearance.

"Because," I started, scooting a bit closer till our noses were inches away. "I, Harry Styles..."

Natalie analyzed my every movement as I took out my rose ring and placed it on my left ring finger, turning it so the flower was facing me. She had a confused expression, trying to work out what the hell I was planning.

"What are you doing? You never move your rings." She shook her head.

"...am gonna marry you someday." I finished the sentence, grabbing her own rose ring and placing it on her left ring finger. "And I won't die till I can call you my wife."

The shocked expression on her face while she looked up at me only made me smile wider, her eyes were starting to brim with tears and her hands were shaking slightly. I didn't know what she was feeling, I was dying to know.

The only thing I was sure of was the explosion of feelings bursting in my chest, a light tingling in my stomach and a fluttering in my heart. Fuck, the love I felt for this woman was immeasurable and I didn't know how to explain it anymore... it was just there.

Natalie looked down at her ring, back at me and then once more at her hand. I was starting to panic, maybe she wasn't expecting any of the things I said and she didn't agree. I wouldn't know how to react if she declined.

But instead, her hands found my cheeks and she crashed her lips against mine. A wave of relief washed through me and I sighed into her mouth, relishing her taste while I placed my own hands on her elbows.

My stomach immediately went crazy, fluttering like there was nothing left to lose. The things I felt for Natalie were almost painful, it hurt me how much I loved her and still, it was one of the best sensations I'd felt in my life.

She was muttering indiscernible things into my lips, pecking them over and over again. My smile was so wide that my cheeks were hurting, I wanted to film a mental video of this moment and replay it forever.

"I'll always come back for you, yeah?" I whispered once she pulled away, watching her bloodshot eyes while a single tear slipped down her cheek. "Always."

"Yes, yes, forever." She rolled her lips into her mouth, nodding her head as her smile started to grow. "Thank you."

"It's okay because listen," I wiped her cheek and she nuzzled into my hand. "You might be a monster like you claim to be, but in that case, you're my monster."

Natalie sniffled and laughed, pecking my lips again before three knocks on the door made us both turn towards it. She muttered a shaky 'come in' and Alissa's head peeked through the opening.

There was a sympathetic smile on her face and she sounded doubtful while she spoke, "Nat, your phone's been ringing for a while."

"Thanks, Lis." Natalie smiled back, sniffling again.

I guess we have a new nickname.

Alissa's eyes widened a bit, but she took a step forward to place the phone on Natalie's hand. She groaned when she read the Caller ID and I peered over only to read Louis' name on the screen.

Alissa left and closed the door behind her, so we were alone once more. Nat doubted before she answered the call and I could already feel the heavy change in the atmosphere, it was so sudden that it gave me whiplash.

"Yeah?" She started off, putting the call on speaker so that I could hear too.

"Where the hell have you been, loca! I called you three times!" Louis' shrill voice echoed in the room, sounding really fucking loud.

I couldn't take him seriously if he chose to use nicknames such as 'loca', that shit was hilarious.

I repressed a laugh and Natalie raised an eyebrow, a playful smirk lingering on her lips, "I'm sorry, loco, I'm not your fucking slave."

"Anyways," He cleared his throat. "I was sending you the information on the next trade, I-"

Fuck's sake.

"Finally! My god, what took you this long?" Natalie cut him off mid-sentence, catching me off guard.

I assumed she'd want to back off for a while, it hadn't even been a day since Zayn's death and she clearly wasn't fully recovered. But I guess I either underestimated her or she just had a very big boost of happiness.

"None of your business," Louis huffed, and I could practically hear how he rolled his eyes. "Just texted you everything. The jet will be at the Mar del Plata airport tomorrow. Have a nice, uh, day? I don't know where the fuck you are so yeah, bye."

He then hung up, leaving both Natalie and me startled. That dude was actually so fucking annoying that it was almost funny, I take back everything I said about Natalie crushing on him because there's literally no way.

"Well, that was quick." I arched an eyebrow, watching as Natalie tossed the phone on the end of the bed.

"Fuck, that little goblin really gets on my nerves." She rolled her eyes, turning on her side so she was facing me again. "I can't believe he sent the plane to Mar del Plata."

"What's wrong with that?" I frowned.

"Mar del Plata is four hours away from here." She snorted.

ok sorry i just HAD to put the twilight reference

anyways i think we'll have one or two more smut

scenes before we get to the end, so enjoy it while it lasts bitches

and yes, harry just proposed

bye