If there was five more minutes of air
Would you panic and hide?
Or run for your life?
Or stand here and spend them with me?
If we had five more minutes
Would I, could I make you happy?

I had been trying to scrub off the smudges of blood for the past few minutes, but I had gotten stained in places that I didn't even want to mention.

Harry was supposed to join me in the shower, but he kinda shut down, I guess? I don't know who this Horan guy was, but if he was someone Harry knew, then I couldn't begin to imagine how he must be feeling.

I knew what betrayal tasted like, so I wasn't going to push him into talking to me. From what Arthur told us, I knew Niall worked with Harry, but I didn't know how close they were in order for Harry to feel like this.

I guess this type of shit isn't as common for regular people as it is for us, being a killer or a thief means getting betrayed a lot of times. I even betrayed people myself, but I figured normal people don't find out about assets everyday.

After dear Mr. Fox told us about Niall, I asked him some more questions and killed him afterwards. It wasn't necessary, I could've left him to bleed out if I wanted to, but the blood was starting to make my skin itch and I needed to take a shower as soon as possible.

I nearly fell on my ass when I stepped into the shower cubicle, my head was still spinning lightly and the wound was throbbing for dear life. I had never gotten a concussion before and I wasn't sure if this was a good or a bad sign, I just knew it hurt like a bitch.

I guess acting all tough while I tortured Arthur wasn't exactly a good idea, I could've easily let someone else do it for me, but I needed to relish the thrill and adrenaline of the moment before I lost my mind. It had been over a month since I last tortured someone and I couldn't say I didn't miss it.

I wasn't scared of admitting how much I enjoyed the taste of blood, metaphorically speaking, but sometimes maybe it came out as a bit too much. I couldn't even begin to count how many people had cut me off after finding out my obsession with it.

Ironic though... the feeling of it on my skin was starting to annoy me a bit.

Maybe the nightmare brought me back to those past memories, it had been a while since I had one and the blood was just a reminder of everything that happened. It gave me a momentary relief, but as soon as Arthur was dead, it all came barging in once more.

I didn't exactly remember what happened that night, only the basics, but there sure was an unhealthy amount of blood... my blood.

I wasn't in the mood to start reliving it all over again, so I wasted no time in heading towards the bathroom. And that's when I discovered the smears of blood all over my body. My hand tattoo was completely covered and there was a handprint on my face that I wasn't even aware existed.

The water going down the drain was full-blown red and there were some droplets of watery blood on the tiles, the bathroom looked like an exceptional crime scene and I looked like the fucking victim.

The air was thick given how hot the water was and the mirror was already foggy. The shower screen was completely blurred too and it was kinda hard to breathe already.

I was cleaning the blood off my hair when the door opened, slow and quietly. In came Harry, looking down at his feet as he closed the door behind him. His eyes were a bit puffy and I wondered if he had been crying, his curls were a mess too.

I stopped the scrubbing and looked at him just when he looked up to meet my eyes, "Okay?"

"Okay," He answered, scratching the back of his neck. "Can I, uh, shower with you?"

"Of course." I answered. The cubicle was a bit too small for both of us, but I was really short and skinny and I really missed his touch so why the hell not.

Harry was quick to get rid of his sweatpants and t-shirt, leaving all of his tattoos in full display. I couldn't help but lower my eyes to his naked torso, following the trail of the fern tattoos on his v-lines and the swallows on his cleavage.

I walked backwards to make some space for him and he stepped into the shower. I could see a thin layer of sweat starting to build on his hairline because of the steam and he looked so fucking hot that my mouth was already watering.

I switched places so that now he was the one under the shower. The spray of water drenched his hair and cascaded down his shoulders, making the stain of blood on his neck from where I'd touched him start draining down.

His eyes looked really dark, almost black, and he was keeping straight eye contact with me all the way through. I don't know what his intentions were, but I guess everything he did was just naturally erotic.

"Okay?" I repeated once more. I wanted to make sure he was completely fine, the look in his eyes was concerning.

"Okay," Harry echoed, grasping my hips and pulling me closer till my naked chest was touching the butterfly tattoo on his sternum.

He pulled me in for a kiss, cocking his head forward till our lips met. The sudden rush of euphoria coursing through my veins made my pulse quicken, my stomach was fluttering so harshly that it hurt.

He was being so gentle... fuck, his movements were slow and pacific and I really wanted to know if he was truly fine, he had never kissed me like this and, even though I loved it, I couldn't help but feel concerned.

His lips were completely still against mine, the water slipping in between the corners. He pulled away only to lean his forehead against mine, and the fact that he had never done that had me going into comatose.

The simple action was enough for my heart to buzz in joy. I wondered if I could love this man anymore than I already did, he had gotten so under my skin already.

"Were you and Niall close?" I asked, making sure to be wary about my word choice.

"I guess," Harry shrugged as I smoothed my hands up and down his chest. "Can I kiss you again?"

I looked deeply into his face, creasing my eyebrows together. Why was he asking? He knew perfectly he could kiss me whenever he pleased. Fuck, I was so worried about him.

"Of course, always," I was quick to nod, leaning in myself to meet his lips.

I didn't even care about the blood anymore... Harry was here and with me, and he was fine, I guess. He was probably choosing not to talk about it and I understood it perfectly, I was going to give him time.

The kiss suddenly felt more urgent, as though he had been waiting his whole life to get a taste. I answered back as desperate as he was, letting our tongues tangle together in need of each other. The kiss was a wet mess, teeth, tongue and water all together, but I was enjoying it way too much.

I had no idea if I'd ever be able to tell him how I felt about him, so I was hoping he'd read it from my actions. I wanted my touch to tell him the things I'd never say out loud, kissing him like there was nothing left to lose.

Harry's hands were already hoisting me up, wrapping my legs around his waist and pushing me against the tile wall. The way his lips would literally beg for me was making me lose it, I never thought I could feel horny and soft at the same time.

I let out a soft groan when he started sucking lightly on the skin of my cleavage, nipping and licking my most sensitive spots to get a reaction out of me. He was being so greedy yet so gentle and selfless... what the hell was going on?

I could already feel his erection starting to harden, rubbing against my drenched core each time he moved and making me moan under my breath. There was something about the atmosphere that was making this feel different, and it wasn't just the thick steam of the shower.

Harry sucked my sweet spot under my ear and I moaned when he leaned in for a quick peck in my lips. I made sure to savour his taste, remember everything about him. I missed him so fucking much and it hadn't even been a day since the last time, I felt so desperate.

He rested his forehead against mine for a second, pinching his eyes shut. Both of our chests were heaving with deep intakes of air, touching each other each time they pumped up. I don't know what was going on, but I sure wasn't going to speak on it.

"Okay?" I asked, watching his features from up close. He looked so beautiful.

"Okay, just give me a second," He nodded, running his tongue over his bottom lip right before he pressed his lips against mine again.

This time, he let go of my thighs so I landed on my feet. He used his grip on my hips to turn me around so now my cheek was against the wall. The coldness of the tiles was such a bittersweet feeling, but I fucking loved it.

He planted soft kisses to the base of my neck, nibbling my earlobe after. I was a panting mess already, my chest bumping against the wall each time I inhaled. I could feel his hot breaths crashing against my skin too, he was just as turned on.

But he was quieter than usual. No dirty talking, no teasing, nothing. Just the pure and raw emotion of the moment that was driving me equally insane, making my pulse quicken and my stomach flutter with each small kiss.

It felt like he was trying to tell me something too, trying to answer to what I was telling him... but no, I refused to believe he loved me. He couldn't, right? Not after everything I put him through.

Maybe these were my insecurities popping by to say hello again.

I felt him teasing my entrance with his hardened cock, rubbing it back and forth in between my drenched folds. I let out a little whimper because I was still pretty much sore and sensitive, but I wanted this as much as he did.

Harry groaned under his breaths, pushing only his tip inside me. My sensibility made every feeling ten times better, so I couldn't help but moan out loud. Harry made sure to keep a tight grip on each side of my waist and I clenched my hands into fists against the wall.

"Tell me if it hurts too much," Harry whispered, pushing his hips forward till he was halfway in.

I moaned once more, quietly this time, starting to feel the deep tingling in my stomach that felt so fucking good, better than any other time. I knew I wouldn't last long if he decided to fuck me like this, so purely.

"It's okay, just give me a second," I let out a shaky breath, feathering my eyes shut. "Go on."

Harry finally pushed himself in and I nearly screamed at the feeling, but I only allowed myself to whimper because the atmosphere felt so tender and breakable. He stayed still, letting me adjust for a moment.

"Oh, my god-" I cried out.

I felt him tucking my hair behind my ear, planting a soft kiss on my neck and stroking my skin. His gentleness was driving me insane, he had chosen quite a day to act like this and I fucking loved it so much.

The pleasure coursing through my veins was a bit too much and he hadn't even started moving yet, his hands were roaming all along my body and it didn't even feel like a sexual act, as if he was trying to remember every curve and dip in my skin.

I felt him smoothing his hand down my stomach when I spoke up, which came out as a pathetic whisper, "Move please,"

He nodded into my skin, thrusting once into me. I couldn't exactly determine his pace, it was slow, rough and sharp, but he was charging me against this very wall and I couldn't love him more than I already did... I think.

The moan that left my lips was inhuman, but he wasted no time in slamming his hips back in. My cheek rasped against the tiles with every movement, but the pain only made this all better. My feelings and sensations were really heightened and I was loving every bit of it.

"Oh- holy fuck!" I moaned, screwing my eyes shut and feeling the warmth on my lower stomach starting to spread.

Harry thrusted again, hitting all the right spots inside me. He wasn't speaking, but he was letting out little groans of pleasure in my ear. He slid his hands back to my hips, grasping them harshly as if he wanted to make sure I wasn't going anywhere.

"Tell me you belong to me," He almost cried into my ear, talking so quietly. "Even if it's a lie."

His statement caught me off guard, I was so deeply immersed into the sensations of the moment that I wasn't expecting him to ask such thing. But I answered, because his request was easy to respond to.

"I'm yours, always," I strangled out a moan, repressing the guttural whimpers coming out of me. "It's not a lie."

I could already feel my orgasm starting to build deep in my stomach and I knew it was going to be a really hard one given the pace Harry had chosen to fuck me in. My previous soreness was making me very sensible and I'd come undone any second soon.

"You'll never leave, right?" He whispered, but he seemed to be speaking more to himself, like a reminder.

"No, I won't leave you," I whimpered. "I'm right here, baby."

He slammed his hips back in, making me choke out a moan. I could already feel my orgasm around the corner, but I wanted this moment to last forever... it felt so pure and raw that it made me want to hug Harry and hold him with me for eternity.

"Can you see me?" He broke out, sucking on my neck after that like he was stopping himself from talking any further.

I wondered how he felt... he sounded sad, broken, but he never acted like this with me. Maybe it was just the emotion of the moment, but I doubted so. This seemed to travel way deeper than what I had in knowledge, he sounded genuinely vulnerable and I'd never seen this side of him before.

"Yes," I bit my lip, but I was interrupted by my own guttural moan when he bent his knees a bit to hit my g spot. "I see you."

Harry kissed my shoulders at my answer, leaving soft licks on my skin that were making my stomach quiver. It only took two more thrusts for me to come, and I loved it that he came at the same time. It made it feel like it was meant to be.

I nearly screamed his name, I came really fucking hard and it wasn't only my stomach that fluttered. My entire body fluttered, his touch on my hips felt ten times softer and my ears were ringing loudly, I was nearly going into subspace.

I felt him filling me in with his cum, holding me close while he moaned loudly. I could feel his wet curls tickling my skin and his hot breaths fanning against my shoulder blades.

Harry wrapped his arms around me, nuzzling his face into the crook of my neck from behind. It took me a minute to react before I nearly fell on my ass to the floor, my knees weren't supporting me anymore, but he made sure to keep a tight grip around me and never, never let me fall.

I think he was crying, but he wasn't making a sound and I had never seen him cry to know. I kissed his temple and placed my hands over his on my stomach, letting him know I was here even if I could barely move.

He didn't hold back at all when he fucked me, but it wasn't that fact that had me orbiting. I think I had just seen a very vulnerable side of him and he decided to play it off by fucking me just how I asked for. Fuck, I was so worried about him but I couldn't even think straight. Or maybe it was just the orgasm, but still.

"It's okay, I'm here," I whispered, trying to get my knees to work again before I fell.

Our chests were heaving up and down with deep breaths and I decided to relish the moment before it was over. I loved how his body felt pressed against mine, and not only sexually speaking. He was here, with me. He was here, he was real and he was mine.

There were only three words running in circles in my mind, begging to be freed but I just couldn't. Something was holding me back, and as much as I wanted to speak, the three words escaped back down my throat everytime I opened my mouth.

I love you, I love you, I love you.

After that, I told him to go rest while I finished showering. None of us said a word about anything, but I made sure to be extra caring about him because he looked so soft and tiny at the moment.

Harry refused to leave me alone in the state I was, but I argued till he went back to bed. He was right though, I nearly fell three more times after he left. My knees felt like they had disappeared and I wouldn't even begin to explain how sore my lower half was.

I gave the smears of blood the attention they needed and finally got them all out, leaving the shower and wrapping a towel around myself so that I could go join Harry in bed.

I wondered if Alissa and Alex had heard us, if they were close to the bathroom then they sure did. I was so into the moment that I could barely hear what we were both saying, maybe we were screaming, maybe not. Who knows.

I went into my bedroom, grabbing the white t-shirt Harry had left on my side of the bed and slipping into it. He was on his side of the bed, his legs overlapped on top of each other and a book on his hand. More specifically, my book on his hand.

The Fault In Our Stars.

Harry was wearing only his boxers and he seemed so immersed into the book that I just stood there, smiling. He had read a couple pages already, quicker than I thought he would.

"Like it?" I asked, crawling onto the bed next to him and nuzzling myself into his chest.

He looked down at me, smiling lightly. Only one of his dimples showed and his eyes were lightened up, he looked happy, but a different type of happy. He folded the tip of the page he was reading and left the book on his nightstand, turning on his side so now he was facing me.

There was a moment where we both just stayed quiet, scanning each other's face. Harry's curls were messy and damp and his eyes were a light shade of green, glistening under the lamp of my nightstand.

He leaned in forward, capturing my bottom lip in between his teeth and sucking on it before he did the same to my upper lip. It didn't feel like a sexual act, just something he always did. My whole mouth was tickling and my heart was fluttering.

"I think I just made love to you," He furrowed his eyebrows, but there was a hint of joy behind the look in his eyes.

"Making love to someone is stupid," I arched one eyebrow. "Let's do it again."

The flash of sadness on his eyes immediately dissipated and was replaced by a laugh. His smile lightened up his whole face and there was a whole-ass galaxy in his pupils, his dimples deepening on each side of his face.

"You're something else," Harry rolled his eyes, yawning after.

"Sleep," I booped his nose, biting my lip.

"Will you?" He raised a suggesting eyebrow, keeping a serious expression that made me feel a lot of things.

His voice was quiet and raspy, so fucking deep. He could've slapped me, choked me, stepped on me, punched me or stabbed me and I would've asked him to do it again.

"I'll try," I said, placing my index and middle fingers on each of his eyelids and pushing them down softly so that he'd close his eyes.

Harry scooted closer to me until our foreheads were touching. It surprised me how quick he fell asleep, I watched him all the way through. Or maybe it was just the fact that I lost track of time at some point.

His breathing pattern was deep and slow, he was fast asleep. I loved the way his features were peacefully unwinded, free of any emotion he was feeling earlier. I just wanted to lean in and kiss him and love him forever.

My chest hurt in the need of telling him everything I felt for him, how he owned my whole heart without even trying to and how every time I breathed, I did it for him.

I smiled a bit, looking into his closed eyes. His arms were around the pillow, clutching it for dear life. He was just there, doing absolutely nothing, but I was freaking out over the fact I could call him mine.

"I think I love you too," I whispered right before I closed my eyes.

hi

so before you start hating on me,
i've never written emotional smut before and
i had no idea how to do it so i'm sorry if it's bad or cringy

this wasn't about the sex itself, it was more about the
things that happened during it

oh also i never thought i'd say this, let alone so soon,
but i think god's killer might be getting closer to the end

bye