Every insecurity, like a neon sign, as bright as day
If you knew what you were to me
You would never try to hide away

Natalie woke me up at nine a.m. peppering kisses all over my face, which was hell of a way to start my day.

I was kinda worried because I didn't know if she slept after what happened, she didn't say anything about it. She seemed to be in a better mood and I hoped I wasn't wrong when I said I was the one to blame about that, last night had been quite a thing.

I came and she didn't even touch me... that was a first. I had no clue that could actually happen, I wasn't as experienced on sex as Natalie was. I sure did made her come very fucking hard though.

It had me in a good mood too. Well, at least that was until I remembered who else was staying in the house with us. The adrenaline of the moment had been enough to wipe away any evidence of reality, but it came barging in once more.

Natalie didn't seem regretful about inviting them into our house though, maybe it was the fact she had an orgasm last night and that was keeping her sane. I really wanted to know what she thought about our situation, I was really nervous.

We still hadn't gotten the information about the next trade and I was starting to get worried, so many things had been happening lately that I couldn't bring myself to process any of it. We still had to figure out who those guys back in the museum were, and now we had this small issue staying at our house.

I also had to ask Natalie why the fuck she had decided to let Alex and Alissa in. I had been debating myself whether I should or should not ask her about the whole sleeping thing too, it had me really worried. Although if what happened last night was the solution to her problems, I really didn't mind to help her out.

And I really liked how Natalie was acting with me now. We had been in the living room for about three hours, waiting for the other two to wake up so we could have a conversation, and she had already kissed and hugged me multiple times.

She was like a delicate thing, so tiny that I wanted to put her in a box and protect her from the world. It was kinda ironic though, because she could take better care of herself than I could. But something about the way she acted around me made me look at her like a fragile little butterfly.

Her insecurities were also adding to it. It was weird calling Natalie Perkins an insecure person, I wouldn't have used that word to describe her, but the way she tried covering herself in the morning and how she blushed was enough to let me see this hidden part of her.

"Good morning," I heard a manly voice behind us.

Both Natalie and I turned around to meet eyes with Alex. His hair was messy and he looked like he had just woken up, but he also looked embarrassed. I really didn't know what to say, we weren't friends or anything.

"Morning," Natalie answered before I could say or do anything. "Were you able to sleep?"

"Yeah, Alissa helped me." He murmured, playing with his hands awkwardly.

Natalie held her coffee mug in between her hands, giving Alex a sympathetic look. I couldn't understand her behaviour around him, it was like she knew something was up to him and now she felt sorry.

"Is she awake already?" I cleared my throat, making my way into the conversation even though I felt really out of place.

Fuck, this was so awkward.

"Yes, she said she'd be down in a minute." Alex swallowed, scratching the back of his neck because he could probably sense the awkwardness too.

"D'you want some coffee?" Natalie asked, pointing at the kitchen behind us.

"I don't drink, thank you." Alex gave her a lopsided smile that didn't reach his eyes in the least.

The uncomfortableness was palpable in the atmosphere since none of us knew what to say anymore. Luckily, Alissa decided to make an appearance right when things were starting to get weird.

"Uh, good morning," She pursed her lips, standing next to Alex. "I'm sorry that we're being so invasive, we can leave today-"

"It's okay, really. You can stay if you want to, we're not leaving yet," Natalie surprised the fuck out of me when she talked, so I immediately shot my head in her direction.

She didn't acknowledge me though, or maybe she did but she was just deciding to ignore me. But she really wasn't being reasonable with her answers, it was like her personality had changed overnight and definitely not for good.

"Nat, can we talk in private for a second?" I pulled her in to whisper in her ear, earning a nod in response.

I immediately yanked her to the kitchen, leaving Alex and Alissa by themselves in the living room. I made sure they weren't eavesdropping on us just in case, I really couldn't bring myself to trust them.

"What the fuck?" I whisper-yelled as soon as we were alone, looking at her deeply in the eyes. "What do you mean they can stay?"

"You heard me," She shrugged her shoulders, keeping a bored look on her face. "I want them to stay, so they will."

She definitely lost her mind.

"Who are you and what the fuck have you done with my Natalie?" I clenched my jaw, but she looked quite entertained by my reaction. "Are you forgetting who they are? They aren't on our side, Natalie."

"Alright," She crossed her arms over her chest, chewing on her lips but this time it didn't look like she was doing it out of nervousness like she usually did.

"Alright? Are you being serious?" I widened my eyes.

My head was spinning so much that it was making me dizzy. I couldn't understand what the fuck was wrong with her, why did she suddenly want to let two fucking strangers into the house? She had to help me understand this, fuck's sake.

"Deadass," Natalie formed her lips into a line before turning on her heel and leaving the kitchen.

I stood there with my jaw dropped open and my blood boiling in my veins, trying to understand what the hell was going on. She couldn't keep me in the dark about this type of things, it wasn't fair since we were working as a team now.

I had to take deep breaths to calm myself. I wasn't one to snap much but this was way beyond my judgement. I couldn't stay mad at Natalie though, I couldn't nor wanted to. And so, I left the kitchen.

Natalie was sitting on the opposite couch than Alex and Alissa, having a conversation with them like they had been best friends forever. The way she was acting was making me feel oddly uncomfortable, it felt as though I was the only one with a reasonable demeanour out of everyone in the house.

I sat next to Natalie on the couch and the way she had a cocky smirk plastered on her face was enough for me to clench my jaw. I had no idea if I was mad at her or mad at her decision, I just knew I was really pissed off right now.

"I just- we wanted to apologize, alright? It wasn't our idea to get in your way, it was actually our boss'. We talked overnight and we decided that we want to help you, truly," Alex said, hugging his knees against his chest.

And they thought we were going to actually believe them? People don't change their minds just like that, we weren't that easy to trick-

"It's okay, really." Natalie answered back.

I think I just died and came alive again multiple times.

She did not just say that.

I gawked at her, but the only thing she did was give me an innocent smile. She turned her head back to Alex and Alissa, who were watching the interaction expectant. I really couldn't believe her.

"I'm going upstairs," I murmured under my breath, leaving before they could say something.

I ran my way up the stairs to Natalie's bedroom, rubbing my temples to sooth the headache. I tossed myself on the bed and stared at the ceiling, the only light coming from the open window on the opposite wall.

A side of me was just saying 'fuck it', but the other side of me was back-stabbing that other side. I was internally battling myself whether to go back to the living room or not, but Natalie's erratic behaviour was all over the place and it was getting under my skin.

I was exhausted, that I knew. I was physically drained and I didn't even know why, I just knew I wanted to sleep what was left of the day without having anyone bothering me.

Fuck, the past two weeks had been such a shitshow. I never pictured myself here, it felt as though the whole FBI shit had been years ago and it hadn't even been a month. It was the first time that I was thinking about all of this, I didn't have any reminders of my actual life lately.

No one had checked on me, not even my sister, but she was busy working. I knew she'd text me as soon as she was available, she'd probably want to go out for lunch with me... how was I supposed to tell her I was seven thousand miles away from her?

Jackson and Niall hadn't texted me either, which was actually expectable. We weren't exactly friends, they were just the people I liked the most out of the whole FBI crew. But still, they had been way too quiet.

What would happen once they found out about where I actually was and who I was working with? Would they actually find out any time soon? Fuck, everything was such a suffocating clusterfuck and I couldn't crawl my way out.

Before I could process what was going on, Natalie was entering the room. She didn't even look at me when she directed herself to her closet, taking out a different shirt. I arched an eyebrow when she suddenly decided to strip her tank top, but what caught my attention wasn't her naked back.

I lowered my gaze to the skin of her torso when I noticed I could see her whole ribcage. Somehow, I had never noticed how skinny she was, but this definitely wasn't skinny in the good way.

I sat on the edge of the bed, examining her back for a couple more seconds. I was, in fact, right. The shape of her ribs was in full display against her thin skin, as though she hadn't been eating much lately.

"C'mere," I cleared my throat, making her jolt and take her shirt to cover her naked chest before she turned around.

"Jesus, Harry, you scared me!" She complained, so I smiled a bit.

"Didn't mean to, sorry," I scrunched my nose, motioning my hand in front of me so that she'd walk closer to me. "Come."

"What's wrong?" She approached me with a confused expression, keeping her shirt over her chest instinctively.

"Don't cover yourself," I shook my head, and I swear I could see a faint blush on her cheeks before she removed the shirt.

I pulled her in between my spread legs, caressing her skin with my thumbs slowly. My eyes were levelling her boobs, but I grasped her waist and turned her a bit so that I could have full access to the right side of her body. And I was proved right when I noticed how skinny she actually was.

I traced her body with my index finger, noticing the goosebumps erupting all over her skin the minute I was touching her. I kept a frown on my face all the way through because I couldn't understand why her body was in such state.

"Have you been eating enough?" I looked up to meet her eyes for the first time in a while.

Her cheeks were a bright shade of pink and getting darker as she tried to hide both her face and her body from me. I relaxed her shoulders and looked up at her, waiting for the answer to my question.

"Yeah, I guess," She shrugged, pushing her lips to one side.

"You don't sound convincing, Nat." I shook my head, keeping my hands on her hips.

"Don't worry, yeah? I'm fine, I promise," She gave me a reassuring nod, but she didn't sound confident in the least.

Now that I thought about it, I hadn't seen her eat a proper meal ever in the past two weeks. I had no idea how I hadn't noticed that specific detail. I mean, yeah, she had eaten ice cream and some other stuff with me, but never an actual plate of food.

"Let's go eat lunch then," I arched my eyebrows, but her muscles immediately tensed under my grip.

"No! No, uh, I'm not hungry," She chewed on the skin of her lips, looking everywhere but at my eyes.

I grasped her chin and forced her to look into my eyes. She looked like a kid that had done something wrong and was about to be punished, but I certainly wasn't about to snap at her. If she had issues, then we could solve them together.

"Natalie," I arched my eyebrows at her, doing my best to keep my composure. "Why aren't you eating?"

"I don't know, I guess it's become a habit by now." She shrugged her shoulders, wrapping her arms around herself.

A habit? What the fuck?

I stayed silent, trying to process her words. What was that supposed to mean? Did she have some sort of eating disorder? I needed to know she was fine, or at least try and help her get better. I was starting to get so fucking worried.

"Natalie," I said sternly. "How long has it been since you've eaten a proper meal?"

Her head immediately shot towards me and she stared into my eyes. The way she was looking at me wasn't giving away much, but nothing felt right, especially the way she wasn't daring to answer my simple question.

I would've never imagine someone like her to not eat nor sleep and still be as strong as she was, I was starting to believe she wasn't real. I didn't even know if that was actually possible, but I was slowly starting to realize how bad Natalie's health was.

"I don't know, I can't remember. I think-" She groaned under her breath, rubbing her eyes.

"Natalie." I interrupted her, adamant on my position.

I needed to know what the hell was going on in her mind. Why not eat? Why not sleep? I was starting to believe she needed the help of a professional, even if she didn't want it. I didn't want her to die, I clearly didn't.

She looked down, tucking a loose strand of her jet-black hair behind her ear even though it didn't work for much because it fell again on her face. The way she was chewing on the skin of her lips was giving it all away.

"Four months," She said in a barely audible whisper.

My jaw dropped to the floor and I stayed quiet as I looked at her. I couldn't understand how she had been able to keep it hidden from me for half a month. And not eating for four months straight? That was fucked up and I needed to know the reason.

I wanted to help her, I really did.

"That's not- why?" I stuttered, trying to show myself a bit strong.

Truth be told, seeing her like this was paining me in the heart. She didn't talk about it like it was a no-big-deal issue, she actually seemed to be ashamed of saying it out loud and it didn't look like she was going to reveal the reasons any time soon, but I still needed to help her. Even if she wasn't willing to accept me.

"I don't like eating, I just don't," She grimaced, keeping her head low. "And I look too fat."

Jesus fuck.

"What?" Was all that left my mouth as I tried to process her words, but my brain felt like it had turned to mush. "Fat? Natalie, what are you talking about?"

The fact that she might have anorexia was messing with my mind to great extents. Seeing her through my eyes, she was the most beautiful person I had ever seen. She had always shown herself like a confident person, narcissistic even, but finding out she didn't think of herself as a pretty person too was making my heart hurt.

"Don't get angry, please. I'm sorry," She bit her lip as her eyes started to get glossy.

Oh, my fucking god.

"You thought I was going to get angry?" I creased my eyebrows together, standing up so that now I was towering over her. "Natalie, I would never get angry at you for such thing. I like you, I really do, and I want to take care of you. If you could see yourself through my eyes... fuck, if you could see yourself through my eyes you'd never try to hide yourself again. I care about you, Natalie."

The minute I stopped talking, I noticed the tears prickling on the corners of her eyes. Out of reflex, I leaned in and kiss each of her eyelids before meeting her lips in a slow kiss. I kept my mouth still before I pulled away only to wrap my arms around her and hug her.

I held her close before she bursted into tears, which only made me hug her tightly. She practically disappeared into the hug given the height differences, but it only made me feel more protective of her.

"It's okay," I whispered. "I'll protect you, yeah?"