I'll get her wetter than ever
Four letters are never the question
She likes when I'm messy
And I like when she's undressing

I hated myself so fucking much for being this weak.

Just because I had a fucking PTSD didn't mean I had to bring strangers into the house... and Alex was currently sleeping in the guest room with Alissa.

It pained me in the heart to see other people suffering the same things I used to suffer and I had been really overloaded with emotions ever since I saw Alex back in the museum, but I couldn't understand why the hell I thought it would be a good idea to bring them into my fucking house.

I knew Harry was kinda pissed at me, but I couldn't blame him about that. In fact, I blamed myself too. Who knew if they were actually faking it all? In that case, both Harry and I would end up dead and it would be all my fault.

Fuck, I hated being this weak. I couldn't manage myself, and sometimes I wished I could sleep at least a couple hours only to clear my thoughts and relax my mind. But I couldn't, and I was still suffering the withdrawals of countless of sleepless nights.

Itchy eyes were the least of my problems. I was constantly dizzy, I sometimes even passed out because of it. My immune system was so fucking weak, which made me get sick very often. I was also very tired, I knew I had slept an amount of seventy two hours in the past three years.

It was hard and very unhealthy, yeah, but I had no other way of coping with nightmares. They woke me up anyways, were they worth an hour of sleep? No.

I was glad Harry hadn't noticed... yet. I had a feeling he'd start worrying too much and I didn't need someone else to tell me to sleep... if you tell an insomniac to sleep, what makes you think they actually will?

He was too caring sometimes, it was hard for me to cope with Zayn already and I knew deep inside he didn't really care. I didn't care myself, I didn't think I was able to sleep anymore. Was that possible? I mean, not sleeping at all?

Harry and I were together on my bed, keeping our distance, obviously. I knew he was completely out already, he was exhausted and so was I... but I was wide awake.

It was around four a.m. and it was still raining outside, which was the only thing keeping me sane besides from Harry right next to me. The smell of wet grass was like a temporary reliever and I was glad the rain was trying to make me feel better, it was making these twelve hours more bearable.

I was lying on my back on top of the covers, keeping my hands latched together over my stomach as I stared at the ceiling. On the other hand, Harry was on his back, hugging the pillow like there was no tomorrow.

There was a cute pout on his lips and his features seemed to be oddly unwinded, it was weird not seeing him with either a frown or a smile on his face.

The constant overthinking going on inside my head hadn't even allowed me to stare at Harry as much as I normally would, it felt like my brain had gone into autopilot and there was no stopping it now.

My wire to earth was hearing the rain and Harry's breathing, deep and slow. It felt as though knowing he was fine was making me feel fine and I couldn't seem to decipher the reason to it. Maybe I had grown more attached than I thought I would.

I was holding myself back not to scoot closer to him and hug him. He looked so fucking cute that it gave me a brief peace of mind. The way he was clutching the pillow under his arms for dear life was like a direct invitation... maybe I could slide a bit closer-

"Nat?"

Fuck.

My eyes immediately landed on his when I noticed he was awake. His eyebrows were furrowed, and I knew he was surprised to see me awake. I often forgot this kind of shit wasn't normal to regular people.

For the first time in a while, I allowed myself to look at him. His bare torso looked like it was glowing, a subtle glow only visible for my eyes only that made me so fucking happy. His muscles were flexing in an incredibly hot way that left little to imagination.

The tattoos all over his arms were a huge contrast to his skin and the white pillows, and I could only notice them because of the night light on my nightstand. Harry complained about it at first, but a quick glare was enough to shut him up. And it didn't annoy him as much as he thought it would, given the fact he dozed off almost as soon as he dropped to bed.

"Harry." I answered back, clearing my throat when I noticed I had been staring for a bit too long.

"Why are you awake?" He incorporated in bed till he was lying on his side and facing me.

"Couldn't sleep." I lied, hoping to god he didn't ask any more questions.

"Really?" He squinted at me, smiling cheekily which was enough to bring my own smile to my face.

"I didn't fall asleep yet." I laid on my side too, scooting closer till we were sharing the same pillow.

The frown on his face was enough to make the two crevices in between his eyebrows deepen. His curls were messy, falling on his eyes as if they had a life of its own. I was sure he had figured out already how crazy that drive me.

"What?" Harry's jaw dropped open, making me giggle. "Not funny. Why didn't you fall asleep?"

"Sometimes I think a bit too much." I shrugged, keeping my voice low because I knew Alex and Alissa were in the room next door. "Haven't slept for a while."

Well, clearly Harry finding out tonight wasn't the plan... but one thing was leading to another. He was going to find out eventually anyways, there was no point in hiding it anymore even though it wasn't exactly a secret. I just really fucking hoped he wasn't planning on making a big deal out of it.

"What is 'a while' supposed to mean?" He shook his head, nuzzling into the pillow a bit.

I took in his scent and was pleased by the unmistakable fragrance of late afternoons in a field full of flowers. I didn't know exactly what that meant, but I just knew.

"A while, Harry," I formed my lips into a line.

My statement was followed by deep silence because I clearly wasn't planning on elaborating more. I was glad he wasn't pushing me for answers, it was the one thing I always asked for but never got. He was just looking into my eyes like he was trying to read my thoughts, which was... better, I guess?

I couldn't help the urge to tangle my leg with his, sliding even closer till our noses were inches away. Harry's muscles tensed the minute our bare skins were against each other, but he was quick to unclench his jaw.

"Aren't you tired?" He said after a while, giving up on asking more questions which I was secretly thankful for.

"I'm always tired." I chuckled humourlessly.

I knew I was confusing the shit out of him. I mean, why not sleeping when you're tired? I was way too lazy to explain the whole clusterfuck my mind was to him. Plus, I was the one who had to understand it first before speaking about it.

"Do you want me to help you sleep?" Harry raised his eyebrows, booping my nose in the process.

I feathered my eyes shut, trying to maintain the brief contact before he pulled his hand away. I really fucking liked it when he touched me, much more than I wanted to.

"Are you flirting with me?" I arched one eyebrow, hearing the most beautiful chuckle leave his lips.

Fucking hell, I was so whipped.

"Hmm, well..." Harry formed his lips into a line, leaning in till his nose was brushing on my jawline. "I could always help you get tired..."

Dammit, I knew putting Harry and I in the same bed wasn't a good idea.

"Horny already?" I let out a nervous giggle.

"More like desperate to feel your tight little cunt again."

Oh wow.

If you told me he would've been this good at dirty talking, I would've laughed. Fuck, he could make me come without even touching me.

"Tell me." I suddenly whispered against my will. "How badly do you want to touch me? Fuck me till I'm screaming your name, steam up the windows..."

"So fucking filthy." Harry groaned under his breath, more to himself than to me, leaning closer to my ear. "I want to fuck you till you can't speak."

Jesus.

Without previous warning, I crashed my lips against his. It surprised me how desperate the kiss was, because he was already opening his mouth for me. I took the chance to introduce my tongue, tasting him as I moaned into the kiss.

I felt his thigh getting closer to my heat and I tossed my head back in pleasure the minute he grazed it back and forth against my core. He took the opportunity to lower his mouth to my neck now that he had full access to it, leaving an open-mouthed kiss to my cleavage before he tugged my tank top down enough to free my boobs.

Harry started sucking on my skin, leaving a trail of wet kisses and shameless bruises. I tangled my fingers into his hair and tugged on it, which he clearly liked because he groaned into my skin. The tingling spreading all across my body was enough for my pussy to grow a heartbeat of its own.

"I'm about to rip this off your body," I moaned, tugging on sweatpants.

He took the hint and started sliding them down, laying on top of the covers. I could see the growing bulge in the front of his boxers that literally made my mouth water, so I wasted no time in taking out my shirt.

Harry's eyes raked up and down my naked torso for a brief second before I pulled him in for another kiss. His tongue tangled with mine as he cupped my breasts and swirled his thumbs over my nipples, making an involuntary moan escape my lips.

"Such a little whore, can't wait till I have you coming all over my face..." He whispered.

Someone pinch me right the fuck now.

Harry started sliding down on the bed till his mouth levelled my pussy, and the fact that he was teasing me to great extents wasn't going to help me sleep any time soon.

He was quick to discard my shorts and the way I wasn't wearing any underwear made him moan under his breath. He hovered over me before he grabbed my thighs so harshly I knew would leave marks, forcing me to spread my legs.

"Look at you, all wet for me." He clicked his tongue, leaning down till his nose was inches away from my core.

I could feel his hot breaths crashing against my skin and that was only adding to the pressure I was feeling in my lower stomach, which was almost painful. The bastard knew exactly what he was doing, because the tiny smirk he gave me didn't go by unnoticed.

"Touch me right now or I swear to god you'll fucking regret it." I whispered through gritted teeth.

"I'm going to fuck you with my tongue, yeah?" Harry engulfed his lower lip under is teeth to suppress a groan. "Don't you dare look away from me. If you do, I'll stop. Got it?"

I was too caught up in the thrill of the moment that his question was barely audible for me, but I was very caught off guard when he suddenly decided to slap my clit. I nearly screamed his name when his hand connected to that already very sensitive spot of my body.

"You fucking answer to me when I talk." He clicked his tongue once more.

"Harry- oh, fuck!" I was interrupted by my own strangled moan. "Yes."

"Do you want me to fuck you with my tongue?" He arched his eyebrows.

My breaths were already getting stuck in my throat, I was breathing so heavily that the sounds were echoing all across the room. Something about this being our first time made it all more thrilling, I hadn't had a meaningful first time in a while.

I was looking down at him, struggling to keep my eyes open. I was so fucking desperate and wet that it was almost embarrassing, but I was feeling absolutely everything except for embarrassment.

"Yes, daddy." I smirked.

I didn't even ask if he had a daddy kink, he just looked like the kind of guy who would. And plus, it always worked on every guy I tried it on, especially someone like Harry.

He was clearly caught off guard by my words, and it seemed as though a switch had been flipped inside him because he immediately gave me a lopsided grin and licked a lazy strip up my pubic bone.

"Oh, my- oh!" I moaned louder than I expected.

My hands immediately sunk into his hair, making sure he kept his mouth busy. I tossed my head back and shut my eyes, feeling the deep clenching in my belly resurface.

"Eyes on me," Harry slapped my core once more, making me choke on my own words.

"Fuck!" I cussed, struggling to open my eyes before I lowered my head to meet his face. "Fuck me."

"Gladly." Harry smiled politely before leaving an open-mouthed kiss to my clit.

Ah, manners.

I tugged on his hair before he pulled away, only making me frown. There was a stupid smirk on his lips and I really didn't expect him to be that much of a tease, but I knew it was affecting him just as much because I could see the prominent bulge on the front of his boxers.

"What are you-" I attempted to ask, but he was quick to shut me up when he brought his two fingers and glided them in between my drenched folds.

The need to clench my thighs was unbearable, but his head was in between them so it was kinda hard. I was about to lose my fucking mind already, but the bastard decided to take his two fingers and suck them into his mouth.

He kept direct eye contact with me all along and I couldn't help but get wetter at his actions. His green eyes looked almost black given how dilated his pupils were, the raw desire was flashing his face like lightning.

"How do I taste?" I bit my lower lip, trying to suppress a moan. "Tell me."

"So fucking good." Harry moaned, pulling out his fingers.

He surprised me when he pushed both of them inside my own mouth, but I immediately moaned. I sucked on them and then swirled my tongue, making sure to relish his taste for as long as I could.

"Fuck me. Right the fuck now." I demanded after he pulled away his fingers.

I immediately felt his tongue slipping in between my folds and to my entrance. I let out a guttural moan from deep in my chest when he started a relentless pace of fucking me with his tongue, swirling it in all the right spots to make my climax build even stronger at the bottom of my spine.

A sudden wave of euphoria washed over me, making the pleasure flow through my veins as he continued to bob his tongue. He kept his grip tight on my thighs and I could already see the red imprint of his fingers on my skin, but I really didn't mind.

"Harry- oh, fuck, fuck, fuck." I groaned under my breath, feeling my high starting to build deep in my stomach.

Harry undulated his tongue inside me till he reached my g spot, and I couldn't help but nearly scream his name as he kept stroking that sensitive area on my front wall.

I tugged even harder on his hair, making him moan. The vibrations of his deep voice reverberated all along my body, so I moaned once more. A thin layer of sweat was covering my naked body, and I really didn't imagine my night to go like this.

My unexpected high hit me, making me scream his name much louder than I anticipated. Pleasure rippled through my entire body and my ears started ringing as my grip on his curls tightened to the point I made him moan too.

I felt my release washing over his tongue and he kept fucking me with it to prolong every sensation. I scrunched my eyes shut and, this time, Harry didn't force me to open them. He seemed as lost in the pleasure as I was.

He kept bobbing his tongue till I had to push him away, but he didn't budge. Instead, he continued and I really can't tell how many times I came. It had been a while since someone made me come over and over again... I kinda missed it.

My thighs were spasming lightly and I knew I would pass away if he kept going on, I was already way too sensitive from my previous orgasm.

"Fuck- fuck!" I moaned once more as my ears kept ringing. "Stop, stop."

Harry sat on his knees and looked down at me with a very pleased expression. The way my arousal was all over his mouth and chin made my belly clenched oddly as I came down from my high, but I was very fucking surprised to see he wasn't hard anymore.

"I came just watching you... fuck, so fucking hot." Harry kneeled down to meet my lips.

Something about tasting myself in him made me moan involuntarily and he groaned in response. I made sure to suck his mouth clean before he engulfed my bottom lip in between his own and started sucking on it in a way I knew would leave them red and swollen.

The sudden action made my heart start thumping against my chest so harshly I thought it would break its way out any second. No one had ever done that to me, and it was such a weird yet pleasurable sensation that I didn't know how to react to it.

He then moved to my upper lip and did the same with it, leaving my whole mouth with an odd tingling. I could also feel my stomach fluttering so fucking hard till the point it was nearly painful, but the best kind of painful.

Harry dropped next to me, nuzzling himself against my boob. The sudden action made my heart skip eight beats at once, mostly because he didn't seem like the same person who was railing the fuck out of me ten seconds ago.

The butterflies in my stomach were going crazy when he wrapped his hand around my middle, so I instinctively took my fingers to his hair and started stroking his scalp. He let out a relieved hum, so I smiled into his curls while I still tried to tame my breathing.

"That was so fucking good," I admitted before I could regret it, hearing him let out a small giggle.

"I know, baby." Harry answered back.

There's the baby thing again.

"You know, I have to pee eventually." I laughed a bit.

"I know, but I want to stay here with you." He muffled into my skin, nuzzling further into me as though he wanted to be impossibly closer.

My lips were still tingling lightly together with my whole body, and that was the moment I knew I was fucked. So fucking fucked.

"I want to stay here with you too."

so um this happened

istg i'm terrible at writing smut
i don't even know how i made it
through this

no, they're not having actual
sex just yet and no, you're not
finding out about natalie's real
problem just yet

ok bye