❝ Though hurt may come from those around, I stand unshaken, firmly ground. Their whispers sink, but I won't dwell, In shadows cast, I'll rise and swell. For I have battled, felt the strife, And claim at last the truest life. With every scar, my spirit's free, I choose the one I long to be. ❞ — from the hues of the sunshine

༄彡፨֍༄彡፨༄彡፨֍

"ANAK, MANIWALA ka, mahal na mahal ka namin.May mga pagkakamali kaming nagawa, pero ginawa lang namin iyon dahil sa labis na pagmamahal namin sa 'yo."

Napaurong ako sandali at hindi ko kayang isipin ang sinasabi nila. "Mahal? Kaya dapat akong matuwa sa pagmamahal ninyo na ito, na pinaghiwalay niyo kami ni Steele dahil sa pagka-mamatay tao ninyo! I honestly don't know how to look at the three of you anymore! How can you face your own daughter after conspiring against my boyfriend's dad to kill him?"

Hindi pa ba sapat ang dahilan ko na ayaw ko na silang makita? Ayoko na! Sawa na ako sa lahat ng mga kasinungalingan nila!

Ano pa nga ba ang gusto nila? Hindi ko na alam kung pa'no ako magtitiwala sa mga sinasabi nila. Gusto ko na lang umalis! Gusto ko nang makaalis dito. I'm finished. I'm completely over them. 

"Anak, ano pa ang dapat naming gawin para makuha ang kapatawaran mo?"

I glared at them. "Kung sasabihin ko na magpakulong kayo, susundin ninyo ba 'yon?"

Pagkatapos ng lahat, hindi ko na sila hinarap. Kahit ilang beses pa nila akong tawagin—kahit si Tita Maeve ay patuloy na inuulit-ulit ang pagtawag sa pangalan ko—hindi ko sila sinagot. Nasabi ko na ang lahat ng kailangan kong sabihin. Wala na akong dahilan para makipagkita sa kanila. Tapos na ang lahat ng 'to. Alam ko na rin ang lahat ng kahayupan nila. 

I faced them and said, "This is farewell. I hope you take the time to reflect on your actions. And though it may be difficult, I'll find it in my heart to forgive you."

"Nak..."

Wala na akong inaasahang iba mula sa kanila. Nasabi ko na ang lahat ng kailangan kong ipahayag. Nagawa ko na ang mga dapat kong gawin.

Napakatahimik naming dalawa ni Steele nang makarating kami sa condo niya. Nag-message sa 'kin si Halley, pero hindi pa ako umuuwi at gusto ko munang makapag-isip. Kaya't uminom ako, kasama siya.

We found ourselves in his home, seated at the mini bar he had set up in what used to be a kitchen. He had successfully transformed the space into a stylish and functional area. The lighting was lovely, casting a warm glow that illuminated the surroundings.

Elegant chandeliers hung above, adding an air of sophistication to the room. Behind the bar, a curated selection of beers and liquors was proudly displayed. We sat beside each other, enjoying our drinks.

"They always act that way," I murmured, my eyes drifting down to the floor. A familiar sting pierced my chest as tears started to trickle down my cheeks, but I shook my head and took a sip of my beer, trying to suppress my emotions. "I don't know where I went wrong. I care about so many people, and here I am—it's me who's hurting now. Parang 'di na ako pwedeng masaktan."

A harsh laugh slipped from my lips, my chest constricted with frustration. "They approached me, saying, 'Eteri, can I confide in you? Eteri, can you listen to me? Eteri this, Eteri that...' I do everything for them! Yet when I'm the one in pain, no one bothers to reach out. It feels like I don't matter to anyone. But I suppose that's fine, kasi ganito na talaga palagi. Sila lang ang mahalaga."

"Eteri, you matter. You deserve love and to be listened to. And don't forget, it's always okay to annoy me, alright? I've told you that before na guluhin mo lang ako, kasi ikaw ang prioridad ko sa lahat." Hinawakan ni Steele ang aking kamay at tiningnan ako nang tuwid sa mga mata.

Steele watched me closely, his expression softening as he extended his hand toward my face.

His fingers gently caressed my cheeks, and the warmth of his touch enveloped me in comfort. As he did this, a smile spread across his lips, instantly melting my heart. "You don't have to be perfect. I love you, even the parts of yourself that you're still struggling to accept, and there's no need to pressure yourself about it."

Ngumiti si Steele sa 'kin at sinabing, "Ang ganda-ganda mo. Sobra. Tandaan mo 'yan, ha? Ang ganda ng girlfriend ko, sobra!"

Ramdam ko ang bilis ng tibok ng puso ko sa mga sinabi niya. Halos dalawang sip lang ang nainom ko, kaya alam kong wala pa akong kahit ano'ng tama. I attempted to suppress my feelings, but they only became more overwhelming.

Everything intensified, particularly when Steele spoke those words to me, expressing how beautiful I am in his eyes. It took me by surprise and hit harder than I anticipated, making me blush even more.

Steele has always been that way—so incredibly honest. When you look into his eyes, he doesn't have to overwhelm you with sweet words; his actions and gaze speak volumes about how deeply he cares for you. I can't help it; I'm just blushing here, and the words seem to escape me.

He moved closer, gently cradling my face in his hands. "Eteri," he said, "I need you to understand just how much you mean to me. I will always be there for you. Feel free to cry to me whenever you need to."

May pumasok sa isip ko. Pa'no niya nalaman ang tungkol sa insidenteng iyon kanina? Tungkol sa pagtapon ng mga gamot ko at sa pagtulak ni Tita Maeve sa 'kin.

Hanggang ngayon, hindi ko pa rin maunawaan kung bakit. Gusto kong itanong 'to sa kanya. Noon pa lang, pinoprotektahan na niya ako, kahit hindi ko man 'to hiningi. Bukal sa kanyang puso ang pagtulong niya, kahit walang kapalit. Ako ang nagkamali.

I've constructed my walls high enough to prevent anyone from climbing over them. I did this to shield myself from being hurt. It's my way of protecting myself from anyone who has bullied me in the past.

"Steele, how did you find out about that?" I asked, studying him closely. "How did you know my aunt was tampering with my medications? I never mentioned it to you."

"You rant about it in the chat box during the MMORPG. In the Gate Elysium, the Quest of Justice."

"Ha!? Sandali lang! Si Zad at ako lang ang maglalaro roon, 'no! Paano ka nakapunta ro'n!?"

Lalo akong napahawak sa buhok ko. Naglabas ako ng sama ng loob sa chatbox namin nang humingi siya ng tawad matapos ang breakup namin, tapos parang tahimik lang siya bilang head ng team, puro seen lang.

Habang ako, tuloy-tuloy lang sa pagbibigay ng rant sa iba, at hindi ko alam na si Steele pala 'yon!? Nakakainis!

"Steele, about that..." Hindi ko na naisip na napahawak na ako sa dulo ng buhok ko at iniikot-ikot pa 'to sa harap niya. Ang bobo ko naman! Para akala mo naman may epekto 'tong pagpapacute ko sa kanya kahit wala.

Haha. No way.

"Hindi mo ako pinapansin noon. Papansinin mo lang ako 'pag may quest o kapag may ibang kalaban." Isang ngiti ang bumalot sa mga labi niya, "Ayos ha, ang tapang mong makipaglaban sa 'kin, kahit S-class ako." Yabang!

"Sisigaw ka pa noon kahit naka-headphones ako, ang ingay mo pa! Maglaban na tayo dahil hindi naman ako pinaglaban!" Umirap siya at ginaya ang boses ko, pero tila nahirapan siya dahil sa lalim ng boses niya. Ew! I didn't sound like that! Ang epal niya, ha!

What I didn't expect was that if he's our leader, why on earth didn't he stop me from ranting? I'm so embarrassed.

Oo, talagang sobrang ingay ko sa laro, lalo na 'pag talagang nasa gaming mode na ako. Kasi kapag nakasama mo na ang mga introvert tapos pareho pa kayo ng interes, makikita mong hindi naman sila ganun kasungit.

It's not that I'm avoiding people; it's just that I sometimes feel drained and need to recharge before I can interact again.

If you notice that I react to your post but don't engage in chats, please know it's not because I don't want to talk—sometimes I just need a little space. Introverted people can be expressive and friendly too; it often just takes a bit of effort to connect with us since we tend to be quieter.

"Oo na lang," sagot ko sa kanya habang humawak ako sa bewang at tinaasan siya ng kilay.

Uminom ulit ako ng beer, nilunok ko na lang ito at tumingin sa kanya sa mata.

"Grabe ba ang mga sinabi ko sa 'yo noon? Baka kaya hindi ka nag-message dahil sa pagtataray ko?"

"It is. But I realize I deserve every word you're saying, babe. I had no reason to complain, did I? I pushed you away, and I'm grateful you didn't hold back. Ipinakita mo sa akin kung ano'ng nawala sa piling ko, ang prinsesa ko." He said

This was something I didn't expect from him. He didn't even get angry with me; it's as if he just gets me. No one else can truly keep up with my moods like Steele can. He knows how to push my buttons and understands exactly how I'm feeling without needing to piece it all together at once.

However, if he was our leader, why didn't he challenge my presence in the group? The more I ponder this, the more guilt I feel.

༄┤֍☽_____♚_____‡☽༆

MY HEART began to race, pounding fiercely within my chest as if a thousand drums were playing in rhythm. His voice enveloped me, resonating so powerfully that I could feel it echoing through every fiber of my being.

"Eteri," he said, his voice trembling with sincerity as his eyes bore into mine. "I owe you an apology—for everything. For the choice I made to walk away from you. I didn't just break my promises, and you were right to call me out on it. I've been a jerk to you."

He went on, his voice thick with emotion. "If only I could express how often I find myself gazing at you, especially during your darkest hours. I never abandon you; I stand by your side, silently observing, always there. Kahit tingin na lang, sapat na 'yon para sa akin."

Steele's expression was a swirling tapestry of emotions, each one battling for dominance at that moment. Hurt intermingled with regret, and the weight of it all pressed heavily on his heart. In the depths of his mind, he found no refuge; he could only cast blame upon himself for every misstep that had driven a wedge between us.

"I knew I had no right to ask for anything more," he sighed, his voice barely above a whisper. "Yet, I find myself always praying for you. I wish for nothing but your happiness. God knows I'm far from perfect, but in my heart, you have always been the one. I never strayed, nor did I seek someone else, because what would it matter if it wasn't you, Eteri?"

"I'm..."

"Please, just stop apologizing," I said, my voice breaking. "It's your grandfather, my parents, and my aunt who have pushed us into this mess." Tears streamed down my cheeks as the weight of it all settled in.

Bakit parang lagi na lang niyang sinisi ang sarili niya? Ang bait-bait niya, bakit ganito ang nangyayari sa kanya? Sa totoo lang, 'di ko talaga maintindihan.

Puwede siyang magalit sa kanila, pero pinapabayaan na lang nila ang sarili nilang masaktan sa ganitong paraan and plunging himself into the depths of his despair.

"But you were filled with so many unanswered questions. I walked away because I couldn't bear to make you choose between me and your family. We were only 18, both of us caught up in our recklessness back then. But trust me, a part of me wanted nothing more than to rush to your side that day." He let out a heavy sigh. "The truth is, I've faced my own battles too."

Dahan-dahan siyang umusad patungo sa 'kin, at sa bawat hakbang na ginagawa niya, dama ko ang lalim ng pag-aalala niya para sa akin. Inilapit niya ang mga kamay niya, hawak ang magkabilang pisngi ko, at sa bawat paghaplos niya, naramdaman ko ang init na nagmumula sa kanya.

Napakurap ako nang hindi ko namamalayan, pero napakurap ako nang bigla siyang lumapit. Ang mga tingin niya'y punong-puno ng pag-aalala, at parang nagbibigay liwanag sa paligid ko.

Sa bawat sulyap niya sa 'kin, parang isang salamin na nagpapakita ng kagandahan ko sa kung pa'no niya ako tignan. Hindi na niya kinakailangan pang magsalita — sapat na ang mga tingin niya para maramdaman ko ang halaga ko sa kanya.

Simula pa lang, gano'n na talaga siya, hindi siya 'yung taong basta na lang nangangako ng bagay na alam niyang hindi niya kayang tuparin. Kaya lang, ang hindi ko matanggap ay kung paanong siya pa rin ang laging may dalang bigat ng kasalanang 'di niya dapat dinadala.

"Steele?" I asked.

"You know I can't make promises about things that might not come true. But I can promise you this: I will be right here by your side. I won't leave you again, not ever." He looked me in the eyes as he spoke.

Gusto ko sanang tumayo, pero naunahan na niya ako. Bigla siyang lumapit sa 'kin, dahan-dahan akong itinayo, at sa hindi inaasahang pagkakataon, hinawakan ko ang bibig niya para pigilan siya sa pagtawa niya.

Pero tawa siya nang tawa sa nakikita niya, at pinisil pa niya ang pisngi ko and that brought a frown to my face. He was at it again, playfully taunting me.

"Remember those days when you couldn't handle your drink at all? Oh baby, what changed? I suppose I was wise to create that little bar in our home—it serves as a sweet reminder of the very first time our paths crossed."

I couldn't help but giggle, the joyful sound escaping me as I noticed myself swaying slightly. Playfully, I gave his arm a gentle slap and asked, "Are you really trying to stop me from having a drink? Wala bang pa-hatak sa bewang d'yan? Last call na, Engineer!"

"Hinahamon mo ba ako?" tanong ni Steele, habang ngumisi siya sa 'kin.

"Well, I..."

A playful smirk danced across his lips as his fingers glided along my waist, drawing me nearer. I blinked in surprise, my mouth parting slightly, warmth flooding my cheeks. Had he always been this irresistible?

"What? You're turning red," he remarked, a playful smile dancing on his lips. "And by the way, you look absolutely stunning. So tell me, what is it that you want?" he inquired, his gaze locked onto mine.

I want you.

Stop, Eteri. Hindi naman ako ganito kaharot noon! Siya naman ang laging lumalandi sa akin, di 'ba?

The two Basset Hound puppies scampered towards us, their little paws pattering softly against the floor. With innocent eyes sparkling with mischief, they gazed up at us, their tails wagging in an endless rhythm of joy.

With joyful barks that echoed like laughter in the air, the two dogs pranced about, their eyes sparkling with mischief. One was a spirited female, and the other a lively male, both eager for companionship.

Their barks seemed to weave a playful dialogue, inviting us to join in their games and share in their unbridled joy.

"Arf!"

"Ang tigas talaga ng ulo ni Mommy, 'no? Pero magpahinga ka na, Eteri. Lasing ka na. Tingnan mo, mukhang nagagalit na ang anak natin." Sabi niya na may ngiti, sabay hinampas ko ang braso niya.

I found myself sighing, the words escaping my lips, "I have nothing to wear."

I picked up a few outfits from the mall. Feel free to rummage through them and pick whatever catches your eye. Remember, this is your home as much as it is mine," he said, a playful smile dancing on his lips.

In a flurry of excitement, I dashed to his closet and threw the doors open with a flourish. My eyes darted around, and as I glanced down, I couldn't help but chuckle at the sight of a few Attack on Titan T-shirts hanging there.

Among them, my gaze landed on a striking black shirt featuring a vibrant illustration of Armin Arlert. His name was elegantly inscribed in Kanji, glowing in a bright yellow that caught the light just right.

I quickly snatched up a pair of pajamas and politely made my way to the bathroom to change.

Matapos akong magbihis, napansin kong nandoon si Steele sa labas. Naka-gray na oversize long sleeves siya at nakapajama siya, suot din ang kanyang salamin. Isang mabilis na sulyap ang ibinigay niya sa akin, kasunod ang isang ngiti. "Halika, dito ka sa tabi ko," aniya.

"Sige, pupunta na ako!" Tugon ko sa kanya, sabay ngiti habang inayos ko ang aking buhok. Naglakad ako patungo sa kama, kung saan naghihintay siya. Bahagya niyang inalis ang kanyang kumot at maingat akong inalalayan. Inalalayan niya ako para ayusin ang paghiga ko.

Tumalikod muna ako sandali, saka ko hinawakan ang magkabilang pisngi niya. Iba pa rin talaga. Kahit na napunta na ako dito nang ilang beses, ang aming distansya'y napakalapit, mas tumitibok pa ang puso ko and I found myself unable to look away from him, completely captivated.

With a sly grin dancing on his lips, he let out a brief cough that interrupted the moment. "Eteri, h'wag mo akong pinakikilig ng ganyan. Gabi na, matulog ka na tayo."

"Maaga pa!"

"Oh no, it's definitely not," he chuckled, a hint of exasperation in his voice. "This is exactly why I prefer not to see you getting drunk,"

Bakit ba? Ano bang nangyayari kung malasing ako, ha!?

"Bakit?" tanong ko, habang tawang-tawa sa mga sinasabi niya.

"Halika na rito, ang ingay mo na!" suway ni Steele. Nilapitan niya ako, niyakap ng mahigpit, hinalikan ang noo ko, at tumingin sa akin. "Hindi ako magsasawa sa titigan ka, ang ganda-ganda mo."

Niyakap ko rin siya pabalik at sinabing, "I love you."

A wave of unfamiliar emotions washes over me, a sensation I have never dared to share with another soul. To us, home is not just a roof over our heads; it's a sanctuary where acceptance and love embrace us. In this world, there exists no other person to whom I can always return.

Sa gitna ng lahat ng kaguluhan, sa kabila ng aking pagkalito sa bawat hakbang na aking tinatahak, isang tahanan ang patuloy na maging tanglaw sa aking puso, isang lugar na masigasig kong hahanapin.

Steele, you're more than just an extraordinary man; you're my sanctuary. In your presence, I don't need to wear a mask. It's by your side that I find my truest sense of security.

My safe haven.