KABANATA 06:

Meet Sunshine Grin!

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❝Why does my heart feel so bitter and jealous all of a sudden? I don't know why this keeps happening. Like a fire within me that is beginning to flicker with its own flames. This was meant to be trivial. At least that's what I believed. Then, at last, I intervened, acting rashly and unable to understand what it was. I see now. I felt extremely jealous.❞— from the hues of the sunshine

༄彡፨֍༄彡፨༄彡፨֍

"WHY? WHAT had I done?" Steele presses his lips together at nginisian na lang niya ako. He appears even more annoying than before! Ha! Kung sa tingin nakakatuwa ang mga pinagagawa niya, pwes hindi! Naiirita na ako! Pwede siyang manalamin at nang makita niya mismo kung ga'no ako kapikon sa kanya!

Kadiri. I refuse to be fooled by that! Ano sa tingin niya sa'kin, ha? Marupok?

I came nearer to him at saka ko siya inirapan, "Whatever, Bald Eagle. Excuse me nga, pipili pa kami ng make-up dito. H'wag kang istorbo." Seryoso kong sinabi and I walked past him after giving him a slight shove. I hope he realizes that he has already ruined my day.

Nawala naman na ang ngisi niya and the tension abruptly increased, his eyes became serious, and he was staring at me with intense concentration before hissing at me at kaagad niyang itinuro ang kanyang sarili, at nagulat naman ako ro'n. "Oh, really? A Bald Eagle? Dati, tinatarayan mo lang ako and I'm being called names now? Ibang klase ka na talaga, Eteri. What area of the Bald Eagle na kamukha ko ha? Sa gwapo kong 'to ha? Talaga lang ha?"

Napakayabang! Why? Does he believe I was that foolish para lang magkandarapa sa kanya? Tsaka, siya naman ang unang nangaasar, ha? Now what? Do I not have the right to make fun of him as well? Mukha niya! Dapat mag-vlog ako, pero nabwisit na naman ang araw ko dahil kay Steele.

I gripped on my camera bag at inirapan ko na lang siya.I feel as though I'm getting angry, and I was getting hot inside. I clutched my fist, feeling my face getting hot, and I was on the verge of exploding. 

My pace had a rhythm that was almost like a heartbeat that was beating so quickly, and now the echoes are disappearing, as if the entire world was joining her in her wrath. Bigyan niyo nga ako ng matinding pasensya para sa kayabangan ng lalaking 'to. Kasi konti na lang, matatamaan na 'tong lalaking 'to sa'kin.

"Puro ka hangin," inis kong sinabi sa kanya at sinenyasan ko na lang si Halley, "Tara na nga. Wala na akong mood mag-vlog e."

"Wait," Sabi ni Steele, and he abruptly approached me at inabot na lang niya 'yung kamay ko, "Don't leave just yet."

"Today's my vlog day. Iyon ang mas importante. Ano bang kailangan mong sabihin?" tanong ko na lang sa kanya. 

Ano bang problema nito? Kung hindi kami magkakatagpo sa trabaho ko sa Crave Mixers, ngayon magkikita pa kami sa mall? Does this still happen by chance o tadhana na ba ang nakikipaglaro sa 'min? So, if that is the case, then hindi 'to magandang biro. He's simply my ex! 

'Yung taong nag-ghost sa 'kin at gusto ko na lang na kalimutan. Matitigan ko nga lang siya, inis na inis na ako! Kalokohan 'to.I must get out of this nightmare. We were both taken aback when a woman abruptly showed up to welcome Steele.

"Omg Steely~!"

Abruptly, the woman came toward us at napakurap na lang ako ng ilang saglit at tinignan siya mula ulo hanggang paa. Para akong nakakita ng artista! Kumpara kay Steele na may lahing Australian at Japanese, mas kitang-kita ang pagka-foreigner niya. Siguro kung lalaki ako, magkaka-crush ako sa kanya. When she drew closer, my heart began to race. Ang ganda-ganda niya talaga.

She truly embodies what it means to be truly beautiful. Her eyes are blue, her hair is long and curly, her eyebrows are curved and round, and her lips are thin, at matangos ang ilong niya, tapos morena ang kanyang kutis. In addition to her red dress and white heels, she was dressed in a black casual trench.

She had such a mature appearance at mukhang mas matanda siya sa'kin. She's about 35 years old, if I may estimate.

Biglaang sumama ang mukha ni Steeleand when he had first laid eyes on her. He rolled his eyes and abruptly crossed his arms, "Bunganga mo, Tory."

Tory pointed at him and remarked, "Okay, that was rude, mister."

'Di ko mapigilan ang sarili ko na mas lalong mainis sa nakikita ko ngayon. Kung bwisit na ako kay Steele, mas inis pa ako sa paglalandian nilang pareho. Then it's settled. They appear to have been acquainted. Kanina pa ngumingiti si Steele habang kausap niya 'yung babae. Ang saya-saya pa nila mag-usap! Hindi siya makipag-usap sa'kin no'n, kaya't mas lalong sumama ang tingin ko sa kanilang dalawa.

Pwede ba, they should flirt somewhere else if they are going to do so! Respeto naman po sana sa mga single dito. I averted my gaze and balled my fist. What's making me feel this way? Isn't this unfair? Nakaka-bitter na nga, nakaka-stress pa sila! 

As she approached me, Halley crossed her arms slowly and squinted her eyes. She sighed as her hazel eyes were fixed on mine, "Ikaw na lang umiwas teh. Sinasabi ko sa'yo h'wag kang maiinlove d'yan. Payong kaibigan lang ha, Regarding Steele's behavior toward you, I hope you're not deceiving yourself. He needs your assistance with his modeling business pero 'yung sa inyong dalawa, malabong usapan 'yan ate." paalala niya pa sa'kin and she gave my back a gentle pat.

Alam ko naman 'yong posisyon ko sa kanya. At sa buhay niya. Hindi ako umaasa don. So I know that he just needs me for their company but not to get back together with me, I'm fully aware of that. Ayoko rin naman gumawa na ng gulo kung ako lang ang tatanungin. Kasi kung sasaktan lang niya ako ulit, h'wag na niya ako daanin sa unti-unti, sabihin na lang niya sa'kin kung ano ang totoo.

Alam ko naman na ang totoo. Na kahit kailan, walang magkakagusto sa isang pangit na tulad ko. Tsaka isa pa, ano na lang sasabihin ng ibang mga tao? Na nag-iilusyon ang cereal monster na katulad ko? I can't even begin to imagine how different his world is from mine. Gwapo siya, at natural lang naman na maraming magkagusto sa kanya.

And look at me—my Vitiligo earned me the nickname "cereal monster." Magkaiba ang mundo namin kaya mabuti na lang na ngayon pa lang ay umalis na ako sa buhay niya bago pa magkagulo. Hanggang maaga pa. Hanggang 'di pa masakit. In this manner, mas madali sa'kin tapusin kung ano'ng meron sa'min, dahil walang lugar ang isang kagaya kong pangit sa buhay niya. 

"I know," I said

Dahan-dahan kong inaayos ang camera at inilalagay ko na ang mga gamit ko sa bag. Halley gave up fiddling with her hair at tsaka sinamahan niya ako sa iligpit ng mga 'yon. I should be content doing what I enjoy, but after seeing that nawala na ang gana ko. As I approached them, I bit the sides of my cheeks and held onto my chest. I need to leave this place before things get worse because I can tell how much louder my thoughts are getting right now.

I forced myself to smile at them and act as though I wasn't even bothered. "Mauna na kami."

Eteri, h'wag ka na umasa. Sampal na sa mukha mo kung ano'ng katotohanan oh. At kung ako sa 'yo, h'wag ka nang umasa dahil masasaktan ka lang kay Steele. Ang mga gwapo para lang sa magaganda. Gayunpaman, ang mga pangit na katulad ko, ay kahit kailan walang lugar para sa pag-ibig. At dahil sa mga sinabi ko, tila nagulat na lang si Tory.

Her perfume, which was similar to Dior J'adore Eau De Parfum, enveloped us. It appears to have been a pricey cologne. I can see our differences more clearly now. Now that I think about it, Steele seems to like this type of girl. Tory abruptly stopped me as I was about to leave, and she couldn't stop laughing any longer.

"Hold on, let me clarify this. Kaya pala parang tinatarayan mo ako kanina at mukhang naiilang kabecause you believe Steely and I were romantically involved? Hahahaha nako miss, that will never even occur! 'Yung mukhang tipaklong na 'to," Turo ni Tory kay Steele at tumawa pa ulit siya, pero si Steele nanatili walang pakialam, "Magkakagusto lang ako? Plus, 35 na ako, imposible nang mangyari 'yon."

"Age doesn't matter naman ho ma'am." Sagot ko na lang

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IT WAS impossible for Tory to contain her laughter. Halos dumiretso siya kay Steele at pinaghahamapas na lang siya dahil tuwang-tuwa siya sa mga pinagsasabi ko. Ginawa pa akong gag show, ha? Wow naman.

"Steely, I'm fond of this girl. She's truly amazing!" Tuwang-tuwa si Tory nang sabihin 'yon and she laughed once more after shaking her head at napanguso na lang ako. And what? What had I said incorrectly?

After coughing a little, she finally approached and grinned, saying, "Just to be clear, Steele is not my boyfriend. I'm married. My name is Tory and I'm the CEO of the Glam Goddess Sasaki Make-up company."

"Married?" I asked.

"Indeed. Marquez is my last name," Tory explained.

Napa-atras na lang ako dahil sa ginawa niya. Gusto ko na sanang umalis, Halley, however, was merely standing there at tinawanan lang ako. Mabilaukan ka sana sa nginangata mong potato chips! Pinandilatan ko na lang siya ng mata, pero tawa pa rin ng tawa. Kaasar 'tong babaeng 'to! Parang 'di kaibigan!

Tawang-tawa pa siya, ah? Gusto ko na sanang umalis. H—How am I able to say those words? Eh kapatid naman pala 'yun ni Steele. Ano bang malay ko! Ang tagal ko nang walang balita sa lalaking 'yun, kaya ano'ng iisipin ko 'di' ba?

"Ma'am, I—"

"That occurs frequently, so it's all right. Pero kadiri girl! 'Di ako papatol sa mukhang tipaklong," bulong naman niya sa'kin and her disgust was clear that the way she was acting nang mapangiwi na lang siya at umiling-iling. Napatingin si Steele sa kapatid niya at sinamaan pa siya ng tingin. 

I made an effort to maintain my smile, but the reality is, hiyang-hiya ako! Halos makipag-dogshow ako sa CEO? Haha, minus points ka na agad, Eteri! Alam ko na nabanggit na 'to ni Steele sa'kin pero I paid no attention to him at all. Because, honestly, I didn't even intend to become so well-known! What are you expecting me to do? I enjoy making vlogs, so that's why I do them. Not for publicity. Kaya nga nakakapagtaka. I'm not as attractive as some of the girls. Why, then, would she desire a model with Vitiligo?

Why me?

"But I still." I stopped, and because of how I had messed up earlier, I couldn't bear to look at her at all. Napayuko na lang ako at huminga nang malalim."Ma'am, I did something awful to you. At sobra nagsisi ako do'n."

With a sigh, Tory came over to me and simply held my hand. At titig na titig siya sa'kin.Then she smiled at me with sincerity. 'Di ba siya natatakot sa'kin? How could she have looked at me as though nothing was wrong with me when most people would be terrified if they were to stare at me? Hindi lang talaga ako sanay na may mabait sa'kin.

"Ate Tory?" Tawag ko sa kanya

I was unable to move away from her because of her blue eyes. "Eteri, I don't need pretty faces, alam ko, mahirap 'tong paniwalaan but I'm in need of you... you're a lovely girl with a lovely heart, and you're more than you realize. You're the only person I require. My company can only be saved by you.

"I—"

Napahawak na lang ako sa dibdib ko, I looked at Halley after that at sinenyasan niya lang ako that she isn't even aware of the solution.Tapos, kumain siya ng chips na hawak-hawak niya.

Given that Ate Tory is kind, I truly have nothing against her. Nakikita ko naman talaga na mabuti ang kanyang intensyoneven though she doesn't express it to me. And what Halley told me earlier has been on my mind a lot. Kaya naman, napakamot na lang ako sa ulo ko and I simply let out a sigh. I suppose I ought to try this. For the benefit of Ate Tory.

I could just think of this as another job. And kailangan ko ng dagdag kita, 'yon lang! Wala ng iba.

Ate Tory gave me a pleading look, as though there was no way for me to get out of this situation. Her deep blue eyes, which resembled the ocean waves slowly pushing against the shores, were so lovely and serene that they mirrored her inner serenity. She seems to be waiting for them to fall apart.

"Eteri, you need to consider this." Halley said coolly, "Sige na, h'wag mo na akong intindihin. Dadalhin ko na muna ang gamit mo, ha? Akin na 'yan." sabi ni Halley and she took my bag at nginitian ko siya.

She grinned at me and waved her hand bago siya umalis, sinabi niyang, "Kaya mo 'yan!"

Teka nga, 'di pa ako nagdedesisyon, ha!

Mukhang wala na akong ibang pagpipilian. I have to give this some serious thought. Silence. It's as though no one is even trying to speak, if anyone can see how uncomfortable this is. Both of us keep quiet no matter how many people enter. It seemed as though the air was created in silence and that no one dared to breathe.

Isa pa, 'di ko rin naman matignan si Steele dahil sa kahiyayan na nagawa ko kanina. Both of us made the decision to enter the cafe at pinagbuksan naman kami ni Steele ng pinto and at last he plucked up the courage to turn to face me.

Parang iba ang timpla niya. He would normally be making fun of me, but his eyes were serious. He didn't have to express his emotions because they were evident in his eyes. What it is, I have no idea. Seems to be guilty? Kung ano man 'yan, masyado nang huli para ro'n.

"I wanted to inform you, Ry. After senior high, I never had a girlfriend. I was a serious college student, wala akong ginawa kundi magseryoso sa pag-aaral." He seemed to want to say something to me but was unable to do so, as he was staring at me. I felt even more uncomfortable in his presence.

Therefore, he simply grunted and tangled his hair, saying, "So before assuming to those, at least itanong mo sa 'kin, wala ka namang dahilan para magselos kay Ate Tory. Trust me, please." Sabi ni Steele, parang takot na takot siyang masaktan ako. And what was it that he said?

He simply referred to me as Ry. When we dated in the past, he would call me by that name. Agad akong umiwas ng tingin sa kanya dahil ramdam ko ang kaba sa presensiya niya. Napakagat na lang ako sa labi ko at ramdam ko pamumula ng mukha ko.

No, Eteri, stop it. Remember how hurt you were when he left you hanging immediately after he ghosted you? Stop putting your trust in someone who can easily affect you because you made a self-promise to never believe his words again. Tama na. Kaya, please lang Steele, h'wag mo'ko akong titignan ng ganyan. H'wag mo na ako paasahin.

H'wag mo iparamdam sa'kin ang mga tanginang kasinungalingan na 'yanlike you still care about me!

Pinikit ko na lang ang mga mata ko and I didn't intend to look at him at all as I passed him. I turned to him and gave him a fake smile, saying, "Congratulations for wasting my time if this is your method of deceiving me once more." Was it extreme? Parang nagulat siya sa sinabi ko. Pwes, he deserves it.

I hate him.

Before I searched for seats, nagulat na lang ako when he glared at me while grabbing my arm. His eyes are cold and piercing all at once.

Iniwas ko na lang ang kamay ko, pero mas lumapit lang siya, "Bakit? May pagkakataon ba na pinakinggan mo'ko, kahit isang beses lang? Nag-sorry ako no'n. But you still wouldn't listen to me."