"funk. use it in a sentence. come on! rachel." mr. schue wrote on the board.

"this cheese smells funky." rachel shrugged out.

"that's cause it's fromunda cheese." puck said causing me make a throw up sound.

"shut it, puckerman!" rachel yelled.

"i was thinking more along the lines of, wow vocal adrenaline has sure put us all in a funk." mr. schue said.

"i'm so depressed i've worn the same outfit twice this week." kurt said softly.

"what if i told you i knew how we could shove it right back down their throats? new directions is about to make their funk the p-funk. we are gonna get funked up. the only way to do that is to beat them at regionals. vocal adrenaline has never once done a funk number. they're a machine, a collective, synthesized, soulless beat. funk is soul meets anger. its passion is in its emotion. and vocal adrenaline doesn't perform with any. so you have your assignment. i want you guys to turn mckinley high into," mr. schue stopped,"funkytown." he did some vocal runs as he sang that.

we all cheered and laughed, the mood lightening.

"you guys can relax. i've got this one covered." mercedes said.

"hold on a second. i want a chance to get funky too." quinn argued causing everyone to laugh.

"good one quinn. it even sounds funny when you say it."

"you said funk is about soul and anger. i have plenty of both. look at me, look at my life! i'm furious."

"let's be honest, when white people try to get funky you end up with k.c. and the sunshine band."

"mercedes racism aside, i'll have something tomorrow." quinn spat.

•

i walked out to the parking lot after school.

i planned on just going home and looking for a funk number, but instead i walked out just in time to see rachel get eggs thrown at her.

"hey, fuck off!" i ran up to them.

jesse has just cracked an egg on her.

"oh look, the belle of the loser ball." one of them said.

"you're a fucking coward, jesse." i shook my head.

rachel stood there, dripping in egg, as jesse stared me down.

"you're just upset because i tricked you and you weren't smart enough to realize it." he smirked.

at that point my blood was boiling.

i balled my fist, and before i knew it, it had come in contact with his eye.

"ow!" i shook my hand out.

jesse leaned over, holding his face.

"what was that for?" he exclaimed standing back upright.

"that was for me. and this if for rachel." i countered and punched him once again.

"and this...is because you're a dick." i said, getting my final punch in.

a couple girls came in to save him, but he dismissed them with a wave of his hand.

they left and i shook my hand out once more.

"are you okay?" rachel asked me.

"i'm fine. just come on. let's clean you up." i said and walked with her back into the school.

•

"and now i just have nightmares of the mothers of the baby chicks coming after me for revenge." rachel said as we sat in the choir room.

"oh this is bull, finn, mike, matt come with me." puck stood up.

"right on."

"it's time for less talking and more punching." mike nodded.

"hey, what's going on?" mr. schue walked in.

"we're going to go all braveheart on vocal adrenaline." puck said.

"guys! violence is never the answer." mr. schue tried to stop them.

"it is when the question is what's the fastest way to mess up that jesse kids face!"

"guys! don't worry about it, okay? i'm fine. besides, stevie got in a few good punches of her own." rachel said.

the boys looked at me with confusion.

"you did that?" puck asked.

i held up my hand, showcasing my very bruised knuckles.

i mean, what can i say, i've never punched anyone before.

"ouch." quinn muttered.

"that's so hot." puck shook his head in disbelief.

i raised my eyebrows and smiled in amusement.

"stevie, you know you should never resort to hitting someone." mr. schue said.

while everyone else commended me for standing up for rachel, mr. schue thought it was wrong.

"they were turning rachel into an omelet, mr. schue. what was i supposed to do? just let them think that's how they can treat her? no. it's not right, and i wasn't just gonna go to my car and ignore it." i defended myself.

"i get it. but we're not ignoring it," he said and looked at rachel,"rachel, do you still have jesses number?"

rachel nodded and handed him her phone.

"you haven't deleted his number yet?"

"jesse st. james, will schuester here. you and vocal adrenaline need to meet at our auditorium friday, three thirty sharp." mr. schue demanded and hung up before he could reply.

•

"god, my funk outfit is hot." i did a light spin and smiled at finn, leaning my shades down to look at him. (outfit above)

i had my hair curled and in a high ponytail. i also had on black doc martens.

"you look great. showing jesse what he's missing, huh?" finn asked.

"i thought i should."

"you look sick. especially with those boots and those bruised knuckles." matt turned to me.

i shot him a smile.

"i'm really excited about this." i beamed then stopped to focus on rachel, who was walking to introduce us.

"thanks for coming. after your brazen escalation of our growing dispute, which we were willing to put to rest we decided the only way to truly "funkify" you is to show you the one thing we know you can't do. so enjoy." she smirked as the music started.

when i walked on stage and started dancing with mike, i felt eyes on me.

it was jesse. he was staring me down.

i looked him and up and down and smirked.

it felt good to see the black eye i had given him.

when we finished everyone cheered and walked off stage.

"see you fucks at regionals." i smiled smugly, pushed my sunglasses up the bridge of my nose and walked away.