"okay, guys, listen up. this is mr. ryan. he's a member of the school board, and he would like to say a few words. i-i just want you guys to listen critically and know that what he's saying is just one of many opinions." mr. schue said as a little blonde man stood next to him in glee.

"take out a piece of paper. and on that paper, i want you to write down your biggest dream. a dream that means so much, you're afraid to admit it even to yourself." mr. ryan said.

i took out a piece of paper and wrote, to understand myself.

i mean, it's true i had no idea what i wanted. i thought i did.

but finn hadn't spoken to me since last week. and boy did i miss him. i didn't understand why he was so angry at me.

"your dream is never going to happen. ninety one percent of you will spend your entire lives living in allen county, ohio. so unless you wrote down that your dream was to "work for a mid-market health insurance provider" or "find an entry level job in an elderly care facility," you're going to be very disappointed."

"this is really depressing." mercedes said blankly.

"i'm going to guess that a lot of your dreams involve "showbiz." well, let me tell you. showbiz dreams are the most unrealistic of them all." mr. ryan said.

"i'm sorry, i've already...broken into the business. so..this doesn't really apply to me." i said awkwardly.

"exactly. this is what i'm saying, this is just one opinion. that could be very wrong. like in stevie's case." mr. schue said, using me to teach his narrative.

"hm, yes but now look at you. in a glee club. instead of being a star, because you've already peaked and will now be forced to stay here."

"no...i mean, i chose to do glee. and stop working while i'm in glee. but, thank you for that. mr. schue can i leave? this obviously isn't worth my time." i rolled my eyes.

"yeah, get outta here." mr. schue sighed.

i thanked him and left.

•

i watched as rachel and jesse walked down the hall together, his arm wrapped around her.

i continued to walk, making brief eye contact with jesse, who looked apologetic.

i averted my eyes and looked down at the ground, walking past the apparent happy couple.

when i decided to look back up i saw finn staring at me. i guess he had seen the same thing i saw.

he looked at me somewhat with a triumphant glow, like he had just won something, but also he looked like he was sorry for me.

•

"hey." jesse came up to me as i was about to get in my car.

"hi." i said stopping and resting my hand on the handle.

"i know what it looked like. with rachel and all. but trust me, i just...i have to be with her for a little bit more. but after that...i really wanna be with you." he told me.

i pursed my lips and looked away from him.

"i don't know, jesse. it's just when i see you with rachel it makes me feel...guilty. like we did something really wrong." i told him.

"i-i know. but stevie, i promise just a couple more weeks. please." he walked over and grabbed my hands lightly.

i looked around, seeing if there was anyone that could possibly catch us.

"....okay. a couple weeks." i sighed, caving in.

he smiled and pecked my lips.

"wanna go back to my house and do more of that?" he smiled devilishly and wiggled his eyebrows.

"you're such a loser." i chuckled and kissed his cheek.

i wish i weren't so happy with someone who had someone else.

•

"hey are you okay, stevie?" mike asked me as i laid on his couch.

"why?" i looked up at him.

i had my head in his lap as he was playing with my hair.

"i haven't seen you and finn together in awhile. and anytime that happens it means you've fought. and you're always a wreck when that happens."

"he's just mad at me cause i've got a thing with this guy. and he really doesn't like it. maybe it's just cause he doesn't like the guy, but i don't know. i didn't think it would be enough for him to stop talking to me."

"you wanna know what i think?"

"what?"

"it's because finn likes you and he thought he was getting somewhere with you because you two had sex and you always talk and flirt and now you're doing that with someone else and he's upset." mike answered.

"he doesn't even like me. he's always either liking rachel or quinn or whoever. but it's never been me." i dismissed mike.

"have you even seen the way he looks at you when you guys are talking?" he asked, exasperated.

"no." i muttered.

"well, first he looks a little confused because you have really witty banter and sometimes he can't keep up," i cut mike off by laughing,"but then afterwards he looks at you with stars in his eyes. like you're the only thing that matters and the conversation is the most important thing to him."

i could feel myself blushing, so i turned and hid my face on mikes leg.

"so then why is he not talking to me, huh?" i asked.

"because he's an idiot. and he doesn't understand how girls work at all." mike said causing me to laugh.

"i guess. do you think i should talk to him?"

"i don't know...do you like him?"

"i did. i used to. but i started this thing with this new guy and it's great and i really like him and it's how i used to feel with finn. but with finn it was less...real. cause he always had another girl. with this guy i know where i stand. finn and i had our moments but i'm not sure if he took them the same way i did." i confessed to mike.

"yeah, i get it. i would talk to him. tell him what you just told me."

"okay. i might just do that. thanks mike."