Special chapter 1: Jinsel

JINSEL ARSEY LEOGRACIA MONTALLANA's POV

I JUST playing my two airplanes, Daddy bought this toys for me. This became my favorite toys because my Mom is a pilot and I admired her for that.

I want to be like her when I grow up but I also want to be a doctor just like my father, too.

I was on laying my Mommy and Dad's bed as I watching my Mom getting ready for work.

Naiiwan ako sa bahay namin kasama ang babysitter ko. My parents are always busy but hindi naman sila nawalan ng oras para sa akin. That's why I love both of them. They know how to balance their time for our family.

Kanina lang umalis si Daddy para makapunta na siya sa hospital niya and do his work. He needs to earn money raw for us... Saka para may pambili rin daw siya ng toys para sa akin.

I put two of my planes up in the air and made a sound in my mouth then I took them flying with my hands. Later, when Daddy gets home I have a new toys...

I smiled because I wil count my airplanes, later... I'm so excited...

"What?!" I glanced at my Mom when I heard her voice, hysterically.

I sat down when I saw her face turning pale and she seems surprised or she scared of something? I don't know... She looks nervous...

What happened?

"Kaaalis niya lang, Mommy... A-Ano po ang nangyari sa asawa ko?" narinig kong tanong ng Mommy ko. Nasa tainga niya ang kanyang cellphone at sino kaya ang kausap ni Mommy?

Si Lola ba?

"S-Sige po, Mom... P-Pupunta na po ako riyan..."

Nagtataka ako kung bakit parang natatakot si Mommy at nanginginig ang kanyang mga kamay.

"Is everything okay, Mom?" I asked her. I was worried.

She hurried to get to me and she touched my face. My Mom had tears on her cheeks. I don't know why she's crying now.

"Mom? Why are you crying po?" I asked her once again.

"Baby, maiiwan ka muna rito with your Ate Elister, okay?"

"Hindi po ba ay pupunta ka na sa trabaho mo? What happened, Mom?" I asked her. I didn't understand her...

"Yes... Yes, later, baby... Just behave, hmm?" I nodded my head.

"I'll wait for you and Daddy, Mom..." I said and smiled. Mommy kissed my forehead before she bid goodbye.

Lumapit sa akin si Ate Easter. Ngumiti ako sa kanya nang bubuhatin na niya ako.

"Saan mo gustong pumunta, Jinsel?" she asked me.

Lumabas na kami ng kuwarto nina Mommy and Daddy at napatingin ako sa pintuan ng room ko.

"Sa playroom ko po, Ate Elister," I said politely and I hugged her neck.

Pumasok kami sa room ko dahil nasa loob din no'n ang playroom ko pero sa kabilang kuwarto naman siya nakalagay. Konektado lang sa room ko.

Ibinaba ako ni Ate Elister at patakbong lumapit ako sa mga toys ko.

"Come here, Ate Elister. Bilangin po natin ang airplane ko. They will be added later because Daddy will buy me one or two!" I said happily at nakangiting lumapit naman siya sa akin.

"Okay," I said then I started to count but...

"One...two...three... Ate Elister, ano po ang pagkatapos ng three?" nakangusong tanong ko. She messed up my hair and showed me her four fingers

"It's four," she replied.

Muli kong binilang ang eroplano ko na iba't ibang ang color and size.

"Four...five... Six, seven... After that?" I asked again.

"Eight..."

"Eight, then?"

Hindi pa ako marunong magbilang. Tinuturuan naman na ako ng parents ko, one hanggang sa ten pero minsan nakakalimutan ko pa.

"Nine and ten," she said.

I laughed out loud because I remember. After ng eight ay nine and then ten...

Pagkatapos naming magbilang ni Ate Elister ay napalakpak ako dahil may 98 airplanes ako!

"Ilan pa ang kulang, Ate Elister para maging 100 na sila?"

"Two, just like your age, Jinsel..."

"Oh, nice! What a coincidence, isn't it, Ate Elister?!" masayang saad ko.

After we played, Ate Elister fed me. I always look at the walled clock because I know Mommy and Daddy are coming home at five.

Inabala ko rin ang sarili ko sa paglalaro ulit pero binuhat ako ni Ate Elister dahil matutulog pa raw ako.

"Wake me up, Ate Elister when Mom and Daddy will arrive, okay po?" tanong ko at nagawa ko pa siyang halikan sa pisngi niya. She laughed and she assisted me to lay on my bed.

"Okay po. Sige na, ipikit mo na ang eyes mo at matulog na..." Tumango ako at ipinikit ko ang mga mata ko.

I fell asleep and when I woke up ay pinainom muna ako ni Ate Elister ng gatas na madalas niyang ginagawa sa akin para palagi raw akong healty.

"What time is it po?" I asked her.

"It's already six..." Namilog ang mga mata ko dahil sa gulat.

"Where's my Mom and Dad? Nakauwi na ba sila?" excited na tanong ko sa kanya. But she remained silent and she didn't answer my question. Why is that?

"May dinner daw po kami sa labas, Ate Elister. Mali-late po ba sila nang uwi? Hindi po ba dapat ay nakauwi na sila by five?" pangungulit ko. She shook her head at me but why did I see something sad in Ate Elister's eyes?

"Ate Elister?" tawag ko sa kanya.

I looked at the rice and vegetables she served. Am I going to eat without my parents coming?

"Hindi po ako kakain, Ate Elister. Aren't we going to have dinner outside? Why am I going to eat now?" nakangusong tanong ko sa kanya at nagsimula na siyang pakainin ako.

"Ate..."

"Mamaya pa darating ang Mommy at Daddy mo. Sabi nila mag-eat ka na muna raw para hindi ka magutom sa paghihintay sa kanila," sabi niya sa akin.

Hinawakan ko ang tiyan ko at marahan na pinalo iyon habang may kanin at gulay na akong ngumunguya. Inubos ko na muna ang pagkain ko sa bibig saka ako nagsalita.

"Ate, uminom na ako ng milk ko at hindi na po ako magugutom," ani ko. Ngumiti lang siya sa akin at ipinagpatuloy ang pagpapakain sa akin.

After that, Ate Elister just washed me and dressed me but Mom and Daddy didn't still come.

Paiyak na ako no'n habang pinapatulog na ako ni Ate Elister nang bumukas ang pintuan ng kuwarto ko at nakita ko ang pagpasok ni Mommy.

My eyes got wide open and I was happy to finally see my Mom!

"Mommy!" I call my mother vigorously. Lumabas na si Ate Elister at lumapit sa akin si Mommy pero nakita ko ang eyes niyang kulay red.

Mom seems sad too. I just don't know why.

"Did you cry, Mom? What happened po?" I asked her and I held her face.

"Okay lang si Mommy, baby..." Mommy answered me and then she hugged me tightly.

I look at the door to see if Daddy was with her too, "Si Daddy ko po nasaan, Mommy?" tanong ko sa kanya.

"Your Dad... H-Hindi na muna natin makakasama sa ngayon si Daddy..." malungkot na sabi sa akin ni Mommy at hinawakan ang mukha ko para matitigan niya ako sa mga mata ko.

"Bakit po? Nasaan po si Daddy?"

Ang daming luha ang nahulog sa pisngi ni Mommy. Hindi ko alam kung bakit... Palagi na lang na hindi ko alam...

"May umaaway ba sa 'yo, Mommy ko? Inaaway ka po ba ni Ate Elister?" tanong ko at umiling siya.

"Eh, bakit po kayo umiiyak? At bakit hindi na po natin makakasama ngayon si Daddy? Nasaan po ba ang Daddy ko, Mommy? Hindi po ba ay may pasalubong siya sa akin na bagong laruan? Nasaan na po?" sunud-sunod na tanong ko.

Isa lang ang isinagot sa akin ni Mommy, "I'm sorry... You will understand everything, someday..."

Maybe I'm too young to understand things that only adults understand. That why Mom, she didn't tell me everything. I'm just a kid and know nothing...

I've had a few naps and still haven't see my father. My Mom is always missing and she didn't come home, most of the time. I only have Ate Elister, Lolo and Lola, and they are taking care of me.

Palagi ko silang tinatanong kung nasaan ang parents ko. Sinasagot nila ako na busy raw sila masyado pero hindi naman ganoon sina Mommy and Daddy.

Dahil alam kong hindi nila ako natitiis. Pero ngayon nakakatulog ako na hindi ko sila nakikita.

Miss na miss ko na ang Mommy at Daddy ko. Lalo na si Daddy dahil hindi ko pa rin siya nakikita hanggang ngayon. Matagal na rin akong naghihintay sa pasalubong niyang eroplano para sa akin.

I FINALLY learned to count and I have a big cartoon calendar in my room

Tinanong ko si Ate Elister noon kung ano'ng araw na hindi na umuuwi si Daddy at ngayon... Lahat ng numero sa calendar ay nilagyan ko ng steaker na malaking X.

At ngayon... Six months nang hindi umuuwi ang Daddy ko...

Kahit malungkot ako ay naglaro lang ako kasama si Ate Elister. Hanggang sa narinig ko na nag-uusap sina Lolo at Lola.

Because I was curious why my parents were like this, where's my Dad? Bakit hindi na umuuwi si Mommy? And I learned to understand things that should not be for children. I got everything patched up and as days go by I started to hate my toys too. I got more interested of something...none of my concern... Because I'm just a kid...

Parang wala na akong ganang maglaro. Sumilip ako sa kanila ng hindi naman ako napapansin nila at makikita.

"Posibleng mawala ang memorya ng anak natin, Jinger... Makakalimutan niya tayo..." malungkot na sabi ni Lola. Kung ibang bata lang din ako ay baka hindi ko malalaman kung sino ang tinutukoy ng Lola ko.

Dahil alam ko rin na si Daddy iyon. Kasi nag-iisa lang nilang anak ang Daddy ko.

But why would Daddy lose his memory? Did something happen? Is my Dad okay?

"Let's just pray for the safety of our son. I know he can still work it out," Lolo replied to her.

My Mom, she rarely comes home to our mansion. Then if I see her again, she obviously crying and sad.

My Dad, I haven't see him for a long time, that's why I often cry for him. I'm not used not to seeing him.

I could only think of one thing, Is Daddy not feeling well, today? These past few months, I guessed?

My question was answered when Mom came home crying. She hugged me and told me, Daddy is awake but he can't remember. I just hugged my Mom and didn't speak because I was shocked as she told me what happened to Daddy. Mommy thinks I don't understand her but I do...

Umiyak lang ako noon nang marinig ko na naman na nag-uusap sina Mommy at Lola.

Gusto ko Lola na umalis ng mansion si Mommy kasi hindi raw siya naaalala ni Daddy. Dahil nagti-trigger daw si Daddy... What is that?

Sinundan ko si Mommy sa kuwarto nila ni Daddy at hindi pa rin siya tumitigil sa pag-iyak.

"Mommy... Saan ka po pupunta?" umiiyak na tanong ko kay Mommy at nakita ko ang pag-iimpake niya ng mga gamit niya.

"Mommy..."

"Babalik si Mommy, baby ko... Kailangan ko lang umalis dahil kay Daddy... Pero saglit na saglit lamang ito, anak ko... Babalik pa rin naman ako..." Naiintindihan ko si Mommy... Gagawin niya raw iyon para kay Daddy.

Pero noong si Daddy na ang bumalik, si Mommy naman ang nawala...

Umalis si Mommy nang hindi ako tumitigil sa pag-iyak... It hurts so bad, I feel like someone pinched my chest.

Tumahan lang ako nang sabihin sa akin ni Lolo na makikita ko na si Daddy.

Pumunta kami sa hospital kung saan si Daddy ang may-ari nito. Dito kaya nananatili si Daddy?

Lolo has me in his arms as he walks down the hallway of the hospital. My grandfather opened the door and I was surprised when I saw my father. But he has a bandage on his head that I can be seen in the movie I watch... That's when they're having an accident.

Kung ganoon...ang Daddy ko ba ay naaksidente kaya hindi niya rin naaalala si Mommy? At maging ako?

"D-Daddy..." I called him and my voice even cracked.

"Daddy..." muling tawag ko kay Daddy. Nakatitig lang sa akin si Daddy at parang nagulat pa siya.

"D-Dad..." tawag niya rin kay Lolo at nang makalapit kami sa kanya ay pinipilit ko siyang abutin.

"He's Jinsel Grel, son... And he's your son..."

Akala ko ay hindi ako papansinin ni Daddy kasi baka hindi niya rin ako maalala pero nang sinabi sa kanya ni Lolo na anak niya ako ay kinuha naman niya ako at mahigpit ko siyang niyakap. Umiyak ako nang malakas kasi ngayon ko lang ulit nakita ang Daddy ko.

"I missed you, Daddy... I missed you, so much..." umiiyak na sabi ko.

"Daddy..."

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry, son..."

"I missed you, Daddy ko..."

"I miss you, too... I miss you, too baby..." Hindi ko rin namalayan noon na nakatulog pala ako. Nagising lang ako nang marinig ko ang boses ni Daddy at may kausap siyang ibang babae... Sigurado ako kasi hindi iyon boses ni Mommy...

"Sarina... Are you the mother of my son?" Sarina... Ngayon ko lang narinig ang pangalan na iyon... Hindi ko siya kilala...

"She's not," sagot ko. Kasi baka sabihin niya kay Daddy na Mommy ko siya at tama nga ang hula ko.

Hindi kami naaalala ni Daddy... Masakit para sa akin dahil si Mommy na naman ang lalayo sa amin...

"She's not my Mom," seryosong sabi ko.