peterpanonneverland
This chapter  is for you ❤

You sat on the table with the boys eating breakfest. For some strange reason nobody said a word, only a few boys chatted, but instead of hollering like they used to, they kept their voice low. It felt bad, an akward silence and yet, one place was still not seated. Felix hasn't been back yet and your heart felt like a stone when thinking about it. Your eyes wandered around, looking at each boy as if you felt watched. No one could know that you were the last person that have seen him.

The time went by until the sun had fully rised and still, no sign if the tall, blonde boy. The lost boys didn't seem to notice pr care, everyone did their duties, some who finished them joked around. You watched Liam and Ian chasing each other around trees while throwing sticks and stones at each other.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but weak bitches will never hurt me., you woods, taking your basket with you. While you collected flowers, fruits and plants the birds around you sang their beautiful song, the wind blew fresh air around your nose and the running river in the east splattered through the forest in effervescent rush. It felt like a dream. All the time you wasted time about being mad at so many people, time you could have used to enjoy Neverland's beauty. This Island was beyond beatiful, but dangerous within. No day passed without having someone injured,- once a few boys even died. Since then Pan had stopped bringing people regularly to the Island, instead they've got choosen. Only boys who felt alone and lost were welcomed. of course- the lost boys.

You weren't like the other boys,- first of all you were a girl, problem number one. Second thing, you came here to Neverland on accident- who the hell knew how.

The boys never seemed to hate you for being here, some of them welcomed you with heart eyes- the first girl in ages. Everyone, except Felix. He was the only one being all rough to you. Maybe one or two boys said some mean things, maybe even wanted to start a fight, but in the end they let you be. Felix saw that you came accidentally to Neverland and somehow he wanted you to go back where you came from.

I would if I could!

Not being sure about that you shook your head and sighted. Your tired feet brought you deeper into the woods, downhill into a small way leading to a path full of high bushes and narrow trees. You stumbled around before you fell over a big root and crashed to the wet floor. Gently you ripped of some leaves that got stuck on your clothes within the dirt on your skin. For a short moment your wrist burned and ached awfully, then your eyes catched a glimpse of what you had tripped over. It wasn't a root that caused you to stumble, in front of you layed Felix, almost hidden by bushes. The legs of the lost boy were spread wide out and he layed in a very uncomfortable way, his torso twisted so his upper part faced the dirt. In his right shoulder stucked an arrow. You gapsed at this sight with wide eyes  and for a second you stopped breathing.

'Felix... .'

Now you knew why he hasn't come back to the camp in the morning- or at all. The second in command was unconscious or at least slept, you weren't sure. You crawled over to him, forgetting about all the dirt and wet leaves, feeling bad of leaving him alone the other night. It took some while to pull his heavy body out of the bush, but as he didn't react you were sure that he was unconscious. His face was covered with blood from his nose and a few scratches covered his body. First of all you positioned the boy's body in a more comfortable position, before you pressed his head against your chest and sighted, not understanding why you did this.

Just leave!, a voice inside yelled.

But how could you leave him, this unconscious, innocent looking boy? You knew all the bad things he had done and ehat an asshole he was, no matter what he did, he always found a way to hurt you. Yet, your heart filled with sorrow and angst as you saw him lying in your arms, skin cold and a peacefully resting face. As you looked at it, he seemed so much nicer. His face looked like it was carved out of pale wood, flawless except the big scar reaching from his brows  down to his cheek. His eyelashes threw long shadows and his pink lips were slightly agape. You couldn't stop staring at him, admiring his features in a weird way. He was beautiful.

What?!

Quickly you looked away from him, over to the woods after realising what you did. You couldn't fancy him, it was wrong, awfully wrong! You made a lot of bad decicions, he shouldn't be another one.

'I was so worried.' You whispered and brushed with your hand over his face. His skin was softer than it looked, and suddenly you imagined how soft his lips might be.

Dont.

You tried to stop thinking, of course it didn't work. Felix always sneaked into your mind, filling it with scenarios that would never happen. Suddenly the lost boy groaned long and slightly moved his head, still not opening his eyes. As he did so you shrinked, but decided to stay here, holding him. As he groaned again, you started to shake him gently, calling his name over and over again.

'Wake up, Felix!' Your voice grew louder and you started to shake him a little rougher, 'You gotta wake up!'

The boys eyes snapped open and he took a deep breath. He looked as if he were sick and barely moved even if he seemed to be conscious now. You grabbed inside your pocket and pulled out a piece of linen cloth to clean his face from all the blood.

'What happened to you?' You spoke with a sad tone. Felix looked at you through half closed eyes and didn't stop you from touching him. He coughed a little and grabbed your shoulder to lift himself up. As he grabbed you out of a sudden you shrinked a little, but catched him as he couldn't held his own bodyweight and dropped against you, reasting his exhausted head on your shoulder. His arms hung limbly over you, hands resting against your back as he heavy breathed in pain. After a few moments he got to heavy for you, causing you to fall back with Felix half on top.

'I have to pull the arrow out.' You said and pushed him down. As you did so the boy hissed in pain, clenching his eyes.

'Can you take off your shirt?'

Felix shook his head and looked at you desperatelyin pain, eyes glistering.

'No.' He choked out and touched his bloody shoulder. You took out your knife and grabbed his wet shirt mumbling 'Sorry,' before you cut it open. His pale eyes didnt look pleased as you did so.

'This will hurt.' You said and grabbed the arrow in Felix shoulder. His eyes shot open widelyand he tried to stop you, yelling,' NO!NO!NO!NO!' But you were quicker, ripping it out with one try. Felix let out a long piercing scream, causing some birds to fly away instantly. You could see some tears in his eyes that were shocked in pain. The wound started to bleed immediately, so you quickly bounded his shirt around it.

'We have to go back to camp!'

'Fuck.' Felix squealed. 'No way!'

He held his shoulder and frowned, then closed his eyes and sighted long. His face looked tired and exhausted, a little nap in his tent couldn't hurt, both of you knew that, yet something kept him from going back.

'They don't have to know that I was hit.' He mumbled and fell back onto the wet ground. His messy hair hung over his sweaty skin and somehow you liked to look at him for that.

'You're hurt. Everybody is wondering where you are.'

The lost boy snortedand turned his head annoyed away. His features turned slightly mad, not liking to hear what you have said. He didn't answer. You sat there for a while, trying not to freeze, but the wind brushed against your wet clothes and left you shivering back. Felix didn't need long to notice, as he suddnly jumped to his feet, vanishing  between some trees.

'Wait!Where are you going?' You yelled and rubbed your hands against your arms to warm yourself, still siting on the ground, not even attempting to follow him.

Jerk.

Within a few seconds you felt nothing more than anger and disappointment. You were disappointed at yourself, thinking Felix had a good side. Like any other boy he was selfish and ruthles, only caring about himself. Slowly you stood up, wiping some leaves from your body, ready to go back to camp as Felix suddenly came back, carrying some wood in his unharmed arm. With a heavy movement he threw it on the floor next to you, before he tried to make a fire, struggling with pain whenever he moved his hurt arm. You watched him doing it for a while, slightly unbelieving that the secondin command came back for you, until you bent down to him.

'Let me help you.'

His head snapped up and he stared for a long moment, before he pushe your hand away, shaking his head at you.

'Just sit.' Felix said with a calm voice, almost soothing before he continued and several minutes later started a fire.

'Respect.' You said casually, catching his attention. 'You started a fire with wet wood.'

Instead of saying something he smiled and looked down as he chuckled. Soon the fire grew, warming your trembling limps and orange light flooded the cold woods. You held your hands towards the flame, taking in the heat as your eyes slowly traveled to Felix. The lost boy was busy with looking at his injurie and somehow his exposed skin distracted you. Hundreds of scars covered him from the rough life on Neverland and for one moment you weren't sure if you wanted to live here.

But I don't want to go, either., you thought and glanced at the ground before the boy could ca5ch you staring. Neverland was an odd place for sure, yet it got so many beautiful things on it. How could you want to leave?

'Are you still freezing?' Felix said dryly, but still you  lifted the corner of your mouth.

'Just a little.' You took off your jacket to dry it next to the fire as you sat there all alone with Felix, being aware that you could have left him alone. For the first time his company was quite nice. He layed back onto the ground on the other side of the fire, closing his eyes to rest. Just like you assumed the boy's pain stopped him from being relaxed, he moved and twisted constantly to find a comfortable position, which he never found.

He tilted his head slightly and looked over to you with exhausted eyes.

'How did you find me?' He asked and looked confused as if he had been hidden on purpose.

'I stumbled over you.' You admitted and scratched your forehead, thinking about what could have happened to him if you had walked past him. And maybe, you weren't sure about that, you wanted to find him, finding out what happened.

'I think you lied to to me.' He spoke with an unordinary calm voice, shifting his gaze up to the trees, admiring their beautiful crown that stole every light before it could reach the ground.

'W-what?' You stammered, looking unsure around. 

I was not looking for you. I don't care about you.

'None of the boys are missing me. Not a single one.'

Your shocked face twitched being  understanding. Well, he was right. No one cared for him and no one was looking for him. He had disappeared like a ghost and the lost boys acted like Felix were one.  Except that they all acted strange somewhat strange. Not even you had intended to look after him. All your thoughts had drifted off to something else except him, until you literally fell over him. The way he was positioned caused your heart to drop like a stone and worry had overcome you.

'Pan wants to talk to you.'

Felix face didn't light up as you had imagined, instead he scoffed and his eyes shot over to you deprecatingly, before he closed them in a annoyed way. Well, this was unusual and strange for him, a boy who followed his leader's steps everywhere. These two were like brothers at the beginning, so why the annoyance? The second in command was confusing in every possible way. Whenever you thought of finally understanding he changed the way he acted, never letting anything out of his scarred, edgy head.

'Why are you staying?' He suddenly asked and for a long moment you did not know how to answer. How should you give him an answer you clearly didn't know?'

'I am not sure whether to tell the boys where you are or not.'

Felix smirked and chuckled lightly. Lifting himself to his feet he stretched himself, hissed as he felt the pain and reached out his hand for you to also stand up. As you took his hand you realised it was the first time that he touched you in a none violent way. His skin was cold and dreary, his long slim fingers covered in dirt and blood. He had a strong grip, even if the touch only lasted for a short moment. You missed his it instantly when he let go of you.

'C'mon,' he winked his head into one direction before he covered the fire in mud to kill it. 'Let's get somewhere less cold and wet.'

You snorted silently so he would not hear it. Felix always acted mysteriously, not telling you what he  thought about your words, changing situations faster than clothes. Your tired feet followed the injured boy all the way to the beach. The bright sun burned in your eyes, the salty wind brushed against your face and the soothing sound of the waves got louder with every step closer. The beach was sorounded by high cliffs, like a hidden place.

Felix's hide spot., you thought as your eyes scanned every detail.

With a heavy grunt the second in command fell onto the ground. You ran instantly towards him and bent down to look after him, before you noticed the lost boy had let him fall on purpose to rest. A wide smile appeared on his lips and squinted at you.

'Relax.' His voice was cold again, scarying you inside back away. 'You can go now.'

Cold. He acted cold again. It was hard not to look hurt, for whatever reason, yet his coldness did hurt you. Why was he acting nice just to push you shortly afterwards away? The boy cared for himselr only, no feelings inside. Suddenly you realised again what an asshole he was, disgusting you for the thoughts you had about him, this little crush. You clenched your hands into fists and bit your lip before you stood up and turned around to leave. Of course you barely remembered the way back to the camp but you always found your way. Your feet stumped over the hot sand until you reached the narrow trees again, not looking back at all. Felix clearly couldn't decide if he was a nice guy or a jerk and you regretted staying with him in the first place or even helping him. You reached a small path uphill where the plants where greener and less narrow, the sun found her way through the trees and chirping birds sat in them. Luckily this was the way back to the camp so it didn't took long to see the first lost boys running through the trees. A loud gasp next to you got your attention and suddenly a boy bumped into you.

'Y/N!' He yelled excited. 'Where have you been?'

Javier stood in front of you, swinging a piece of wood around in boredom. His eyes pierced you concerned, yet you kept the secret for yourself and didn't told him the truth.

'Wandering around.'

Javier nodded and turned his head around as if he were looking for someone. 'Have you met Felix?'

You scoffed and gave him an angry glare. Javier wasn't trustful, why should you tell him if he snitched anyway?

'Snitches get stitches.' Was everything you hissed at him before you pushed him away from you to walk past him but you saw in his eyes that he understood what you meant. He told Felix about the conversation. Maybe he would tell him more? Your mind drifted off as you entered the camp and made your way to your tent. Before you could enter Thomas called your name. His hair was sweaty and he was heavy breathing after he ran to you. The brightest smile was placed on his pink lips. His freckles looked like mud as they glistered in sweat, yet you thought of them as adorable as if they where the cutest thing in the world. Thomas stood in front of you, his hands on his knees and trying to catch his breath before speaking.

'He lassie-' he panted. 'Ye wanna go for a walk?'

You wanted nothing more than that, your heart suddenly stopped and your cheeks burned as you smiled shyly. You wanted  so badly but your exhausted limps cried for a nap. 'Yes, I really do. But not now, I've walked the whole day.'

His face showed disappointment and he crinkled his nose. Catching his breath he lifted his upper body and properly faced you. 'Will you join me later with the boys? We're meeting in the treehouse next to the camp.'

You nodded quickly and gave him the sweetest smile before you entered the tent to rest for a while. No matter how much you tried to sleep your mind drifted of to Felix and why he had sent you away, or to Thomas, his lovable face that was waiting for you with the most adorable smile.

Eventually you fell asleep for a while, more tired than before, you opened your eyes and glanced slowly around before closing them again. The daylight was gone and darkness surrounded you, making you deal with the fact that it was already night time. Yawning you shifted your head from the pillow and slowly sat up, stretching your tired limps. The hollow sound of cheering boys made its  way to your ears, along with a tired, wide smile that sneaked on your lips. The partying all night happened nearly everynight, yet it was always calm and relaxing to sleep with that happy sounds. It made them boys look way more joyful and less lost, so for a second you asked yourself why Felix never joined them. Deciding not to care about it, you shifted out of the bed, the ground was cold as your naked feet touched them, then you dressed yourself properly and headed outside to the treehouse. On your way you already heard them shouting and hollering in joy, celebrating as if nothing could bother them. Now you stood in front of a ladder, making your way to climb up and knock on the door. It opened quickly and as your eyes met Thomas's yours glistered up and you climbed as fast as you could up to him. Your eyes scanned the room and discovered Javier, Ian and two other boys which names you didn't know. The two of them stood at the window, ignoring their surrounding until Thomas smashed the door shut and the boys heads snapped around, interrupting their chattering. For a short moment it felt like the time stopped, which indeed happened all the time on Neverland, but no one moved, everyone's froze. This state only appeared to happen for a short moment, yet Javier looked confused over to Thomas, while he had all eyes over you.

'What are you doing here?' Ian broke the silent and lifted himself from the ground. The other two boys slowly approached an took a glance at you, confused but also interested in the situation.

'I Invite Y/N', Thomas raised his voice and pushed the crowd away from you, 'Stop ye, being this scary to the lassie!'

The corner of your lips lifted as you heard his voice, hearing his funny accent. He was such a gentlemen to you. Ian rolled his eyes and dropped smiling back down, sitting on the wood. The two other boys joined too, Javier glanced at you seriously before he also went down. What was that? The strange boy sat turned away from you, the only place in the circle was next to him and a unknown boy. After hesitating a second you placed yourself between them. The boy on your left smiled over to you, reaching his hand out to you, ' I am Spencer, this is Gleb.' He pointed at the blonde boy with pale skin and hair that seemed almost white. His eyes were blue like the sky, but as if the colour were almost fade out. In his edgy face sat lips with the corner of them constantly turning down. He had a cold aura around him, way colder than Felix's. Gleb was way more scary than Felix, his eyes pierced you with an icicle.

'Nice to meet 'ya. Is you hungry?' His voice sounded harsh like russian and now he smiled, changing the scary facade to a lovely boy. This must be the reason why Felix was still scarier, Gleb didn't sound mean and when he smiled his face was like an angel. Felix on the other hand was brutal, he hurt for fun. Shaking your head you gave him a sweet smile, waiting for a boy to suggest something  to do now.

Javier chuckled low and took an empty bottle from the shelter. 'Let's play spin the bottle!'

The boy glanced over to you, on his face sat the most vicious  smile...

Hey, I know, usually I am not into author's  notes, but I just want to thank you for reading this story. How do you like it so far? Which plots do you like the most?  Do you already noticed some hints of information in each chapter, revealing  peace after peace something new, but also brings up new questions? I try my best to make it exciting!

Also  I am trying to keep the Felix fandom somewhat  alive here, so If you have any ideas what I should  write for you, just let me know!