Chapter 6
For the next few days you tried your best to avoid meeting Felix. Barely leaving your tent you spend your time reading and when it happened to leave, the time outside was quick. You didn't ate much and you bathed quicker, almost hectical.
Everything went fine, until Pan suddenly moved his head into your tent. His eyes were curious, his smile friendly, nothing evil in it. You tilted your head to look up to him as you layed in bed, crafting a flower crown.
'You okay?' He asked and raised his eyebrows while checking you out.
'Yeah- I mean, why shouldn't I?' You stuttered and looked unsure around. Where was your strong voice when you needed it?
'You're just not leaving your tent.' He said and raised one of his eyebrows, before entering your it.
'As if you care?' You respond and sat up, putting the unfinished flower crown aside. Peter moved his hands to his hips and gave you a playful glare, I am warning you, like.
'I do. You are my lost girl. Maybe you wanna join a game tonight?'
He blinked before leaving the tent and smiled warm. You almost believed that this smile was real, but Peter wasn't the most behaved boy on this Island. His passion for games were almost sick. He didn't invited you to a game, he wanted you to join. There was no 'no'. After a while you also left the tent, just to bumb right into someone.
'Sorry I-' As you looked up into Felix eyes you stopped and stared. His pale blue eyes told you he was strong, but they didn't told you what he felt. He put his hand on your shoulder and pushed you back inside, following your steps, you slowly walked back until you felt the edge of your bed. Pushing his hand aside before you could fall back on it, you gave him a dark glare.
'Why are you avoiding me?' He snarled and frowned. His body was so close that you barely could stand straight to not fall back.
'I am not!' You squealed and looked away from him. 'I was sick.'
A dark chuckle left his throat and he smiled for one second. 'Don't you lie at me.'
'Don't you snarl at me!' You fired back and finally got the courage to push his broad body back.
'I like your fire. But don't play too much around.' He smirked before he left laughing and leaving you confused behind. What a strange boy. You never had any clue of what he was thinking or what his intention were. He knew that you haven't been sick and it was stupid to think he would believe you. Thomas hasn't seen your face either for the past few days, his loud footsteps came running into your direction as you entered the clearing.
'Hey ye, lassie!' He yelled and waved over to you while he approached you with a big smile and the cutest puppy eyes. They glistered in the sun. 'Haven't seen ye in a while. Ye look bonnie today!'
You barely understood him, yet you found a like in the scottish boy's way to talk. You snapped your head at him and looked as if you tried to figure something out.
'What means bonnie? Isn't it a name?'
The word wasn't new- he had called you this once before, yet the meaning behind it was unknown. Thomas smiled with dimples. 'It means pretty.'
You blushed and looked shy smiling over your shoulder to him. The lost boy wasn't like any other boy on Neverland. His behaviour seemed way more polite and appealing to you. The way he talked and how he always smiled wide gave you a tingly sensation of a warm feeling filling your guts. Thomas stepped closer and put a hand on your shoulder. Shivers went down your spine as you felt his cold touch on your warm skin, yet you welcomed it, too long haven't you been close to someone.
Except the few times with Felix.
Surely you didn't craved anyones touch, the moments in which Felix had touched you weren't like Thomas's.
Yet, all you could think of was Felix.
Why did you focus so much on a lost boy you clearly didn't like when someone else was talking to you and showed a little tenderness?
'See ye at the game I guess?' It was more like a question and something told you to go. 'Yes.'
Grinning like an idiot you watched the lost boy walk away, the feeling of his cold hands still there, already missing it.
'What happened to you, that you're that happy?' A deep voice beneath you suddenly chuckled. Your eyes rushed over to the boy, a tall one with broad shoulders and dark brown hair, almost black, looking at you with a half smile. His long eyelashes were like spiderlegs, covering his green eyes.
'Join me.' He spoke and turned on his heels to vanish in the forest. His brown skin glistered in the sun.
'Wait for me, Javier!' You shouted and followed him. Everyone always ran away so quickly, it got hard for your short legs to keep up. Javier took a glance over his shoulder and did wait for your suprise.
'Geez, you all are so polite today.' You snorted and he replied with a confused gaze.
'Felix never waits for me.'
Javier shrinked as you mentioned the second in command. He was truly intimidating, even for brave and strong boys like Javier. The lost boy shook his head and bent down to collect something from the ground.
'We're collecting wood for the fire,' he handed you a stick and continued his wandering. 'Don't think too much about Felix. Stay out of his lane and you won't get hurt.'
His eyes turned serious as he looked up to you, squatting down and collecting wood. It was like a warning, but you already tried to avoid the second in command. He was like a shadow, always around you, following every step you made. A wonder that he wasn't here right now. Javier couldn't know what had happened at the lake, the reason why you avoided going out for days.
'He came to look after me today.'
Javier froze. He slowly turned around and as he stood up, his face went from confused to curious and then perplexed. He didn't say a word but his eyes revealed how many questions he got.
'He said I would avoid him.' It sounded more like a question.
'Do you?'
He pointed a finger at your direction and raised one eyebrow, before taking the wood out of your arms that you had collected in a short time. Not sure wether to tell him the truth or not, you said nothing. He still waited. You sighted and rolled your eyes at the sight of the awaiting lost boy.
'Yes. He's strange.'
Javier nodded, his face was blank, anything like Felix's used to be. Not replying, he went back, winking you over to follow. Javier wasn't the friendliest boy, so why did you tell him? At least he didn't pushed you around or told you what to do. His heavy feet crushed the leaves on the wet ground as he followed the path to the camp and you felt something bad tumbling in your guts, the feeling that something awful was about to happen. The air was filled with electricity as if a storm would rain down on Neverland.
But they never did.
After entering the camp you saw some of the boys fighting again but before someone decided to talk to you, Javier took the last pieces of wood and you vanished in your tent. How could always someone start a fight? It always seemed so unnecessary to you, still, everybody else liked to watch.
Before you could enter your tent, Felix's eyes and yours met over the whole clearing. The lanky blonde boy sat on a log, chewing on a toothpick while sharpening his dagger. He stood up and walked towards you, but the cold face was yours this time, entering without saying a word.
Fuck, he will come here now.
A brief moment of panic overcame you, fluided your senses. There was no time to think now, the second in command entered the tent and the first thing you did was pushing him out again.
'Learn to ask for permission!' You scoffed and clearly remembered the many times in which Felix said it, whenever you did like anything.
He responded with a dark chuckle and a smug face as he moved his head inside again.
'May I come in?'
'What the hell do you want?'
His eyes would stabbed you if they could they were so cold, so blue, so beautiful. Your eyes followed every move in his face, looking for something uncertain. 'I am just making sure that you won't get hurt this time, so you'll go with me during the game.'
With red cheeks and narrowed eyes you gulped, then clenching your teeth in anger. You weren't weak, neither dumb. For a short moment you felt like punching him. The akward moment when you took a bath was horrible enough, now you were punished to spend time with this creepy dude.
'Fuck off!' You growled and pushed him out again, this time full force and way more angry. Felix almost fell back and as he stood in front of you, outside now, everybody watched.
'LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!' You screamed and turned on your heels, vanishing behind the curtains. Your heart dropped and tears formed in your eyes. He had done so many bad things, how many times did you cry? The lost boy was a puzzle to solve. Some days he would scream at you, the other day he acted like nothing had ever happened.
But you couldn't forget!
Weeping in your bed, hands over your face to keep you from making any sounds, tears rolled over your sobbing face. He was strange, he was creepy and he won't let you be alone.
'May I come in?' A deep voice spoke and someone rustled at the curtains.
'No.'
Your voice broke and the pain got audible. The boy noticed and ignored your answer, sliding into your tent, next to your bed. He squatted next to you and gently touched your shoulder. 'Might want to turn around?'
When you didn't answer he continued, 'I know you're crying.'
Your head looked behind you and the lost boy gave you a warm smile, so untypical for him. ' I told you he is strange.' You whispered and rolled over with your body to face Javier. His dark skin was sweaty from carrying all the firewood. His hand moved to your face and wiped off your tears.
'It must be hard for a girl to live here.' He whispered back and his eyes showed compassion. ' I think Pan wants to break you, he did this with many girls.'
'WHAT?!' Your body shot up and the tall boy held his hand over your mouth after noticing how loud you had screamed. His eyes darkened and he raised his voice only a little bit, 'Be quiet!'
Loosening his grip the boy stood up and leaned over you. 'Don't let him break you. I know that you're tough. Deep inside I see a warrior!'
The colour of your cheeks slightly changed into a deep pink and your eyes dropped to the floor. You couldn't help yourself but smile. Pan loved to play games and everyone else was the puppets on his board. You wouldn't dare to think about fighting him, behind the mask of a brave boy hid a demon and he would do anything to get entertained.
And he might used the boys to challenge you.
Javier took a glance outside before he left, checking if the area was clean. This had been a weird day- and it only started. You had passed the moment in which the beautiful light had made it's way into the camp, it only happened a few hours a day, the trees in the jungle were too narrow and too high. The thought of joining a game again made you feel sick, your guts felt like they were turning inside out and also it seemed boring. Hiding in the woods until someone finds you- how entertaining.
Little did you know...
The forest had almost swallowed the sun and burried her underneath it, as Pan stepped into the middle of the clearing, calling everybody to move over. You had hoped so badly that the game were already over and that he had totally forgot about you, instead, the demonish boy just started it.
Since when do we play in the dark?!, you thought in terror and looked over to the darker getting jungle, eyes widened and mouth agape. Peter's smug face looked over to his boys anda devilish smile formed in it.
'You know the rules boys! Twenty minutes to hide, but this time in the dark! Ian and Jack are the hunters! Caleb, John you are hunting, too!'
Before you could follow, the crowd spread and ran into different directions, leaving you all behind. Your feet brought you to a dark path with at least a little light. Your foot suddenly got stuck in the ground and before you could react, someone else pulled you back and held you before you could crash onto the ground.
'We should go away from here, they will find you!'
Your eyes wandered up to meet Felix's. His voice sounded suprisingly worried. You didn't say a word but his hands on your upper arm felt electrical and for one moment, all you could think about was Felix. Before you could say a word, he roughly grabbed you and dragged you trough the shadows of the night. His long legs walked quickly, like he always did, but this time it was much harder to follow while he pulled at you. It seemed impossible to walk that fast, so you kept stumbling over your own feet and tighlty grabbed the boys waist with one hand while you hung at your arm that he were tugging at. You let him for a few seconds until you furiously punched around to free yourself from the second in command's grib.
'WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!' You hissed at him, badly wanting to scream in anger, but that would make you first target for a hunter. The lost boy raised one eyebrow, clearly confused.
'Stop looking at me like that. I told you to stay the fuck away from me. What is your deal?' Your body was shaking and your formed your hands to fists as he came closer. This boy had nerves. The time of being scared of him was over, no more hiding and no more tears. He had hurt you enough. The tall boy snarled and grabbed you again, dragging over to hide behind some trees. You could barely see him, only hear his steady breath.
'They shoot at anything for fun. I don't want you to get hit by an arrow.' He sounded angry, but you knew he wasn't mad at you this time.
'Fuck,' he growled and put a hand to his face. 'He shouldn't let you join games with these animals.'
It was like he was talking to himself instead of talking to you. You wanted to respond, but before you could open your mouth footsteps made their way into your direction.
'I heard something!' A male voice yelled, after the sound of an arrow that flew through the air. Felix moved fast, his hand covered your mouth and he pushed you against a tree.
They really shot an arrow?!
Terror fluided your body and you stopped breathing in fear they would find you. It didn't took long before the first boy ran past the tree you both hid behind, followed by the other one. None of them seemed to notice you standing exposed, yet hidden in the dark. Fianlly you understood why this game was played in the night.
'Hurry!' Jack, the taler one yelled. He wasn't visible anymore but you just knew how maniac he looked like. He was reckless and cold, maybe the reason why Pan made him a hunter. Felix made sure that both of them were gone before he let go of you.
'This isn't just hide and seek, it's hunting!' The second in command whispered. He moved slowly beneath the trees as you followed.
'The rules are different. The boy who shots the most boys wins. We just gotta hide until the sun rises and don't get hit.'
It was so easily explained, yet the rules truly disturbed you. What a sick game did you join? All you knew was that Pan intended to hurt you, that Javier was right. You shouldn't follow Felix, Pan's right hand. Everything around you began to swirl and you needed to leave immediately or Felix would hurt you sooner or later, too.
God, he is so strange.
His head spun around and when he didn't saw you because of the dark, Felix hushed back and bumbed straight into you.
'Thought you ran away.' He spoke, not apologizing at all, then he grabbed your wrist and stumpled forwards. This time he didn't dragged you around, his hand grabbed you tight but not too rough. You wanted nothing more than rip your arm away, on the other hand you liked his touch, how easy his big hand grabbed around your arm. He was so much taller than you, less creepier than the first time you met him. There was something behind the mask of a coldhearted boy, way more and you only needed to find out.
'Why are you doing this?'
The boy didn't respond. Suddenly he grabbed you by the waist, causing you to shrink in suprise.
'Grab the branch and get up.'
He stood in front of a tree, holding you in his arms so you could climp up easier. Your heart raced in your chest and you stopped breathing as you felt his strong arms around you, pressing your body against his. He could crush you so easily, and he felt so warm. You didn't respond or move, so the lost boy loosened his tight grip for a moment, causing you to drop more into his arms, almost facing him.
'If you don't want an arrow in your body climp!' His face looked threatening.
He lifted you again and this time you grabbed the branch and climbed it up, just like the lost boy commanded to you. He was close behind. At the top of the tree, the light of the moon shone down onto you. It drowned the whole jungle into a gloom atmosphere. Both of you sat there in silent, in the middle of the night, at the top of a tree. Smart thought, though, no boy would ever find you here. The sound of hooting owls and the running river nearby soothened you, everything were at peace and the cool wind brushed against your warm, sweating skin. this was weird,- this whole situation. You took a glance over to Felix, his eyes were fixed onto the ground, but too many branches and leaves hid the sight. You were untraceable.
'Why does Pan want to break me?' Your voice broke the silence and brought the lost boy back to reality. The moonlight drowned his pale face in a beautiful light. For a moment he didn't look evil at all, just like a normal boy. 'I don't know what you are talking about.' He tried to sound cool, but you weren't dumb.
'Javier told me so.'
'Javier told me that you said I am strange. Don't be stupid and think he is your friend!' Felix hissed back, the coldness in his eyes returned and he clenched his jaw, looking quite furious. Hell, he got mad within seconds, causing shivers to run down your spine.
It quickly switched back to his emotionless facade, letting nothing out.
'So? Why do you care so much?'You finally found your voice back, glaring back at him. Sitting on a tree was uncomfortable enough, being up here with Felix made it even worse. He was a selfish, rude and a way too violant boy, always thinking he could do whatever he wants to. Not with you. Trying to relax, holding yourself from clenching your hands into fists, you looked over at him- he looked so innocent, but you knew better. He was not going to answer, that for sure, but he looked at you, as if he were trying to figure something out. Almost puzzled. Sighting he closed his eyes and rested his head against the wood. The moon brightened his face and let the last shadows disappear.
How can I hate him if he looks like that?, you thoight, then snapped out of thoughts. What the hell am I thinking?
'I never hurt you.' He spoke softly and let his hands drop on his stomach. He looked like he was asleep- Felixs sat on a wide branch, his legs hung down of each side of it and his head perfetly found his place on another branch that held him from falling down. No matter how innocent, or rather cute he looked, even if you badly avoided thinking that, he had hurt you.
'You don't have to beat me up to hurt me.' You whispered in a broken voice and looked over the ocean of trees. Neverland was beautiful, no one could ever deny it, but it was the people who made it a living hell. This place never felt like home to you, not unless so many scumbags were around to mentally torture you. Felix was one of them. He never said anything nice, rather acted creepy and cold. One or two nights you had cried because all of the circumstances to live here. Felix eyes slowly opened and stared into the abyss.
'What do you mean?' He said and his voice had never sounded this sad before. Your eyes widened for a brief moment in suprise and as you looked over, he still hung there, one arm over the branch, the other one slipped down, and eyes starring onto the ground.
'I don't know where to begin with? You followed me, screamed at me and you never say a nice word. God dammit, boy, I was fucking drowning and you literally screamed at me!' You yelled at him and tears quickly formed in your eyes. Stupid tears, that would always show up at the baddest moment. Stupid Felix, for always making you cry.
He gulped and sat up, trying to contain your words. 'I am sorry.' He whispered and you didn't believe his words. The lost boy lifted himself and slowly climbed over to you, until his face was only a few inches away from yours.
'I am sorry.'
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