It felt as if there were a smooth wooden shaft going through the pit of your stomach, with a crank on the end, and someone was beginning to turn it, methodically twisting your insides around it. Fear and terror appeared in your face.

Felix and another lost boy fought early in the morning, threwing knives and forks at each other, before Felix jumped over the table and smashed the other boy's head against the wooden table. You didn't knew the name of him, only that he were a good hunter, fulfilled with pride and arrogance and his face were always delightful to look at until now. Blood spilled from his nose and open wounds, the second in command threw the loose sack of boy onto the cold ground. His eyes were glowing in rage, the veins on his neck throbbing and he made an awful face of disgust. Like a sick monster he went back to eat like nothing had happened. No one else seemed to care either, so you decided it rather smart to just let it go.
'He, Y/N, mind joining some target practise, would ya?' Thomas suddenly asked and pulled you out of this loud mess of hollering boys, eating gross at a table. His brown eyes stared at you, but not like Felix's or Pan's. This one seemed soothing and warm, kind and somewhat innocent. Starring back felt like drowing in honey. His freckles covered his neat skin and sweat rolled down from his forehead where the sun burned his dark hair.

'I could.'

Thomas gave you a big smile with bright shining teeth and he closed his eyes a bit. A weird sensation flooded your body and the beat of your heart fastened. Thomas were the only one being nice to you, giving you a weird feeling to be attracted to him. He was handsome for sure but the thought of falling in love caused you to giggle.

'What's so funny?' Pan asked and walked up to you and Thomas. 'Y/N go get some firewood. Thomas go with Ian and train the boys.'

The lost boy obeyed and walked of. His broad shoulders vanished behind the trees of the jungle, leaving you all alone with Pan. You tilted your head and frowned. 'What on earth is wrong with you boys?' Meaning the Felix's fight.

Peter glared at you, rather amused than concered, before leting out an evil smile. 'There are no rules on Neverland. You know, we do what we want!'

Your smile dropped. He already told you this when you arrived on Neverland. This Island belonged to Pan, he knew whenever someone tried to leave. No escaping Neverland without his permission. Unnecessary by the opnion of the boys, no one would ever want to leave. They could fight whenever they want, party whenever they want, play whenever they want. It was a perfect world to everyone here, except you. As the only girl here it was hard to prove yourself. No boy took you serious, they didn't hurt you though. Tolerated but not accepted.

'Do you hate having me here?' You asked Pan and for the first time his smile dropped, leaving him worried instead.

'Of course not!' He sounded strict as if he were mad at you for questioning him. His hands lightly touched your shoulders and his face got closer, his eyes piercing through yours. 'You are one of us now. Never forget that, lost girl!'

You truly believed his words as you stumbled through the gloom forest, picking up sticks and wood to put in your basket. You didn't get choices much, maybe the only reason why you obeyed to do them, anything else could be reconsidered as ignroant. Except that everyone on this Island seemed ignorant. Everyone did what they wanted and what benefits him the most. So why did Felix beat up another boy? The second in commamd was a puzzle to you, you never knew what he thought. His worde echoed in your ears and suddenly you felt being watched again. He could be out there, stalking you, laughing because of your stupidity.

No, you were all alone. You checked out every inch of your surroundings, listened to the wind and the chirping birds. Nearby you could hear the water of the river flowing, a peaceful sound.

'You're braver than that.' You whispered to yourself, almost hissing and eyebrows presses together. Walking up so far until you reached the dangerous but also beautiful pond again, Thomas's words reminded you that not everyone was reckless. He knew that you wanted to jump in and you knew that usually no one gave a fuck about each other. Suddenly your smile dropped. Running as fast as you could back to the camp, carrying the firewood, which you knew you would smash in the stash and go to target practise.

I totally forgot you!

Thomas asked you to come and you took so long picking up some stupid wood. Before you could open the stash Felix came outside, his dark features were speckled with blood which he hasn't wiped off yet. 'Why such a hurry?'

The lost boys voice was dreary but his eyes sharp. The whole atmosphere around him turned gloomy. Your heart dropped and it felt like you were choking as you watched the disturbing looking boy. 'I am on my way to target practise.'You sounded braver than you felt. Felix pushed himself from the wall behind him and smirked down at you.

'I used to train you, remember? Why don't I come with you?'

You looked terrified up to him as you saw the blood that had entered his mouth and dyed his teeth red.

'Clean your fucking face!' You screamed immediately, without thinking about it. Felix snarled, then pushed you forwards to the other boys, at least he tried to, but instead of walking you yanked away your arm and punched his breast. The weak impact caused the second in command to chuckle.

'You don't scare me Felix.' You spoke and squinted your eyes. You knew he wouldn't hurt you. 'I know that you're an big asshole but leave me the fuck alone!' Before he could answer, you already disappeared out of sight. Shivering and shaking now, you felt relieved, convinced of yourself and brave. Felix was dangerous, you needed to stay away from him as far as possible. But it was him who always appeared.

'Y/N!' Thomas called and pulled you back to reality. The scottish boy smiled bright and you smiled back, something you had never done before on Neverland. Living here meant fighting for survival. You looked around, the clearing was filled with lost boys. The smaller ones fought with swords made of woods, the taller older ones threw with knives,- sometimes even at each other. One boy stood against a tree with his apple on his head, his whole body shaking in fear, his blue eyes wide open and you clearly saw the sweat dropping from his blonde hair, running over his childish face. You weren't sure about that, but he seemed tears close. The other boys used him as a target,- or more specific, as a motivation not to miss.

Thomas noticed your shocked face. 'They do that sometimes. But don't worry, they never missed... yet.'

You raised an eyebrow and gave him a sceptical look, as if ypu were askung if he was serious. The lost boy didn't respond, he moved towards the others and took an arrow. Taking his bow and shooting at the apple, he pinned it against the tree behind the shaking lad.

'Ye can go now, Ben!' He shouted then before he started a conversation with the other boys. All alone you stood now between brutal boys in fighting mood. Disappointment overcame you, there was no chance to spend time with any of them, not even Thomas bothered it to leave you all alone. The way back to camp was fast and silent. You had hoped there would happen something exciting, that one of them would teach you how to shoot.

'Aren't you supposed to be in the training area?' Felix dark voice chuckled from beside you. He had cleaned his face as you told him and he had removed hia cloak. His club hung heavy over his broad, shoulders. You wanted to kick your own face for even thinking about one second that he looked quite appealing in the warm sunlight.

'Fuck off!' You spat at him and kept walking. He grabbed you and pulled you back to him. 'Where do you think your going?'

His cold eyes threatened you and suddenly you felt weak and vulnerable again. Your face darkened and you gave him the same look he gave you.

'Somewhere where you aren't!

He pushed you harshly away of you, rolling his eyes sighting.

'Meet me at nightbreak.' He said calm before heading of, leaving you all confused. What did he want? Should you even go? The thought of getting murdered this night scared you.

Cut that shit., you told yourself and went back to your tent. The rest of the day you waited desperately for it to get dark, slightly warned but somehow exited. No matter what you did, the thought of what the second in command might want distressed you. Like almost everything else he did.

Almost deciding not to go, you headed back into the jungle, uphill where you had seen Felix for the last time. Your heart beat against your ripcage like a prisoner in his holding cell, every limb was shaking, but to be fair the air was chill.

'You're late.'

Felix stood against a tree, he did that quite often, helding a spear instead of his club. The sight of the second in command with a real weapon freaked you out, your body was ready to run for your life. 'What do you want?'

'We're going fishing.' He commanded and headed dowhill towards the beach. You frowned and gave him a puzzled look, which he didn't reply on and walked steady forward.

'Why do we go fishing in the night?' Your voice was demanding for answers. The tall boy looked down into your face, revealing no emotion, before looking sighting away,'I don't have time for you at the day. You better don't waste my time. Pan wants me to train you and so I will.'

For the rest of the way he remained silent and even if his words upset you, you kept shut and followed. You were a waste of time to Felix as it seems. Nevertheless you watched him how he got with his bare feet in the water and to show you how to catch a fish.

'You gotta be quiet and calm,' he whispered and suddenly pushed the spear full force into the ground. 'Then you will get a fish!'

You nodded and took the spear he gave you, after taking of your shoes. This couldn't be this hard, right? The first time you saw a fish, a big gasp escaped your lips, scaring it away.

'I told you to be fucking quiet!' Felix hissed and his eyes turned dark. A few minutes past and no fish were in sight, so you dropped your shoulders and looked over to the tall blonde boy, 'Thanks for not telling Pan what happened the last time you wanted to train me.' You mumbled and hoped he wouldn't hear it, but why shouldn't he when you talked to him. His face snapped and his face looked courious. He didn't reply.

'Why didn't you tell him?'

'Concentrate or i'll drown you!'

As he saw how your eyes widened and the terror overcame you, his facade dropped and revealed something in a way of worry. 'Don't freak out I wouldn't!' He shouted and moved his hands hysterically around.

'Felix you are-' The words wouldn't come out and you focussed on a fish that swam closer into your direction.

'I am what?' He asked and his face turned back serious, the way how he talked and used that dark voice was sharp as razors.

'Different!' You laughed and tried to get the fish. Instead of catching it you slipped and fell into the water, the fish suddenly in front of you so you tried to grab it. The oiled skin slipped always out of your hands but you didn't gave up yet, so you kept grabbing it.

'I got it!' You screamed excited and Felix behind you, very amused, began to laugh a bit. 'You did it. And absolutely didn't waste my time!'

You turned around and saw he was smiling, something so small, but rare to be found in Felix face, which caused you to smile back. Warm, like his. Was it just you, or did both of you stared a bit too long without saying anything?

'You know... I had this super weird dream when I fell into the water.' You told him and frowned, while you handed him the fish to put it in a basket.
'The mermaid must have enchanted you.' The lost boy replied. Your eyes widened in shock,'MERMAID?!'
He nodded down at you, taking the spear from you. 'You scared the fish away, we shouldn't waste time and go home.'

Felix reached out his hand to help you up. As you took it, you noticed his hands were far bigger than yours and they were rough. Never have you touched his hand before, but as you did, it felt somewhat electrical to you. Missing his touch when he let go you followed the scarred boy back into the woods.

What in hell- you thought as you kept starring at the back of the lost boy. It felt like he wasn't that mean at all when you made him laugh. Something told you to stay away from Felix, protecting yourself from being harmed. On the other hand you desperately needed to find out who Felix was, who he really was. He was dangerous. How many times did he beat another boy? Felix had been on Neverland for decades now, like many other boys in fact, yet he remained being second in command, the most feared boy on the whole Island. Most of the boys feared him, the ones who didn't would learn to fear.

You tried not to.

How couldn't you fear him, whenever you took a look at him he was in a bad mood, looking mad angry or annoyed. He would often get into a fight and he would nearly kill someone. You got a weird intuition that Pan protected you from him and the only reason you lived was the king of Neverland. Of course he was the only reason you lived, if Pan wanted you dead, you would be dead. It also didn't make sense that he kept you around and let you live along his boys. Lost boys was the name, not lost children, Felix had said when Pan told everyone about you staying in Neverland. He clearly didn't like you around.

'Why do you hate me so much?' You suddenly let out, loud enough for Felix to hear. He stopped, turned slowly around. His face showed no thoughts, only his eyes seemed different, his brows hung deep over his eyeas and he tilted his head down. 'What gives you the feeling I would hate you?' He raised and eyebrow and squinted his eyes while saying that.

'Your an ass sometimes, I mean... all the time.' The words came out without thinking about it, but there were no fear, you wanted answers.
Felix didn't respond, turned around and walked back to camp. Asshole, like you said. You went straight to your tent, avoiding to talk to him any further,- he wouldn't respond anyways. Felix hid something and you knew that.

When you entered the camp, Thomas made his way to you, giving you a bright smile, even a little bit confused.

'Why are ye so wet?' He asked and you burst out in laughter at the thought how stupid you must have looked like when you catched the fish,  until you stopped abruptly, remembering how Felix smiled.

'I was catching a fish.' You smiled and began to chuckle again.

'And ye suck at it. I was looking for ye, Pan told me to train the boys, but after that I wanted to spend time with ye.'

Your cheeks turned deep scarlet and you were happy that the torches of Pan's guarda dyed your skin orange.

'I am so sorry... . Well I think I should dry my clothes!'

'Well, lassie, ye definetly should take a bath!'

He was right, you smelled awful and needed to change your clothes. Travelling to the waterfall, to take a bath in the lake under it, the events from the night circled around in your mind. Undressing yourself and jumping into the clean water you began to bathe. No boy was around, yet you prefered to shave yourself beneath the surface of the water, in case anyone came across here and saw you naked. After washing your hair you were ready to get out of the warm lake to dress yourself. The surrounding was magnificent. High cliffs almost around the water, high trees and big bushes hid the way to a smal path. Flowers bloomed and crickets hummed their melody, hardly audible through the sound of crashing water from the waterfall.

'It's dangerous for a naked girl here on Neverland.' A deep voice suddenly said on the shore. A gasp escaped your lips and you shrinked.

You were aware of the fact that Felix could smite you, that being close to him were dangerous and that you were naked in front of him. Sliding further down into the dark water to hide your skin from him, you looked up to him, scanning the lost boy. He only wear pants, the rest of his body was exposed. It was dark, but the moon shone over Neverland and thousand stars brightened the night.

Your eyes fell down to his muscular chest and arms, his defined torso was covered in long scars. His eyes were fixed on yours, following your gaze.

'You should get out!' He commanded and you swallowed hard in fear what he would do to you if you would obey and get out.
'I won't.' You said and the voice you  used was strong and forceful. The lost boy moaned annoyed and rolled his eyes.

'I am not touching you, lass. I want to bathe, that's why I tought you might wanna leave,' he explained with an skeptical look before starting to smirk.'But if you insist!'

Before you could ask what he meant, the lost boy took off his pants and slid next to you into the water. Unlike you the water only reached half his torso. As he stood next to you, naked like you were, shivers went down your spine, but in a good way. Like an electric pulse it overcame you- a warm weird feeling.

Fuck me.

Shut up! Shut up! Shut!Up!, you screamed at yourself for the first thought. Felix shark like eyes glared at you, piercing through it as if he would look for something.

'C'mon, go back to camp.' He said and nodded his head over to your clothes before turning away from to. Your body acted fast, jumping out of the water you dryed your skin with a towel and dressed yourself. Before you ran back to the camp, you took a close look back to Felix.
He stood in the water, facing the other direction and showing his muscular back. What did just happen? The coldhearted bastard suddenly seemed to attract you? Or was it something else?