'I am home...' You thought in wonder and tilted your head, eyes narrowing, unbelieving, like a punch in the face that brought you back to reality after being sunk in thoughts.

'I am home.'

The sight of your sorounding gave you a kind of pleasure mixted up with kind of grief and disbelief, which you just could not understand. The warm sun brightened the house in which you sat right now, eating a small meal. Your friends would come over and they would talk about what you did that week. You smiled in excitement as you suddenly asked yourself a concern question: What did you do this weekend?

You could just not remember, not a single thing.

The last thing you could remember was that you were standing next to a blonde boy, his name was there, just not reachable for you right now, but he told you to be careful that mermaids were lurking nearby and then he began to walk next to the shallow lake.

'Y/N?' One of your friends ripped you out of your thoughts. 'You are fine. It's your birthday, remember?'

A birthday hat on your head and on top of the others reminded you. 'Oh..., you are right. How could I forgot?'

excactly, how could you? You don't even rembered wearing a party hat before. And who was this boy? Why were he talking about mermaids?

Strange.

You felt strange. There was this feeling again, this feeling of being unsafe like when you felt watched in the woods. Something was wrong.

'Y/N!' A male voice screamed and you shrinked, checking hysterically your surrounding.

'What is wrong?' Anther friend of yours asked concerned and gave you a stern look.

'Didn't you hear that? Someone called my name!'

They shook their heads all in synchronisation, giving you the chills.

'There is no one calling you. You're safe here.'

Again you heard the voice.

'Y/N!'

Your throat suddennly ached and you felt bitternis in your mouth with tons of water. The voice called your name again, this time louder and more audible. Some sour taste appeared in your mouth and as you puked out all of the water, the sight of the real world became more blurry and you remembered Felix name and how he ran too fast away, so a mermaid grabbed your leg and tried to drown you.

Choking and coughing you tried to gasp for some air. Tons of water left your lungs, the terror fade away slowly.

'Fuck.' Felix mumbled and went shaking with his hand trough his wet hair. You still layed shaking on the cold ground, exhausted but breathing and you could swear you were for a short time dead.

'You fucking Idiot.' He shouted angry and clenched his jaw, then grabbed his hair frustrated as he looked upon the sky to the burning sun. He had the most furious gaze ever and with that you started to cry heavy out of frustration and stress from almost drowning, causing Felix to feel akward, not knowing what to do. His eyes left the sky and wandered to you, opening his mouth to say something, but just couldn't.

You didn't not how, maybe instinct or adrenaline, but somehow you managed to jump to your feet and run back to the woods, as far away as possible from the mean, coldhearted bastard, that doesn't know other to feel angry and agressive.

It got cold and windy, leaves were brushed into your face and low branches hit your wet clothes and caused you to flinch in pain as if you were hit as if Neverland whipped you away from a place you did not belong to.

As you reached your favorite place in the woods you dropped to your knees, crying silent in Pan, sobbing and shaking until you layed on the ground and letting all your feelings out. This was too much for you. Felix was too much. Your memories were too much.

Drowning was too much.

It was freezing cold in your wet clothes, on the forest floor, but going back to camp was no option. Going back would mean to see the second in command, his anger and maybe also Pan's. Being scared of Pan, too now, you continued crying after you just got yourself together from collapsing.They would punish you. Maybe someone beat you up? Who could tell?

Another hour passed in which you almost just cried, like being addicted to it, not even wanting to stop it. You thought a lot and sat now against a tree, hugging your knees and hiding your face to keep you from freezing. Neverland was no place for a girl.

'Y/N' someone suddenly said. As you recognized Felix's voice you gasped and looked frightened up to meet the lost boy's cool eyes. He just stood there for a second, looking at you with a blank expression.

'I found you.' He sighted and somewhat sounded relieved. Then he squat down and touched- or rather wanted to touch your shoulder.

'DON'T TOUCH ME!' You shrieked and covered your body behind your arms, hiding behind your legs. Felix on the other hand looked startled.

'Leave me alone.' Choking out the words under tears again, you tried everything not to cry again.

'You are freezing. Please come back!' He suddenly sounded warm and soothing, which you never experienced before, so you looked up to him, showing him your swollen up eyes from all the crying, the running nose, and your blue lips told him how much you froze.

'Why won't you leave?'

He looked cold and harsh again,- grabbing you rough, made you shriek again, louder. He threw you over his shoulder and made his way back up to the camp with a fighting girl on his shoulder.

'LET ME GOOOO!' You screamed and shouted in his ears, but no respond came back.

You struggled as much as possible to get yourself free, hitting and kicking him as far as you reached him, but he was way stronger. After a few minutes Felix grabbed your legs and arms rougher, so moving was almost impossible for you. The grib around your waists was too tight and it hurt like a burning rope.

'You are hurting me!'

'Shut up. You brought yourself in this situation.'

It was too cold to struggle anymore and you felt weak and pathetic. It took you only a few minutes to pass out while tje second in command went further near camp.

It was suprisingly delightful that especiallt Thomas, which you mend that day, threw a blanket over you,
as you layed shivering and soaking wet in front of the glowing bonfire. You just layed there for hours, starring into the flames looking kind of disturbed. You were strong and brave, no matter what and you told yourself nothing could break you, but you weren't in a book. This was the reality and it hurts like being hit by a bears paw, tearing you appart into pathetic pieces. You were strong and brave, but today something broke you and left a deep scar.

'Are you okay?'

Pan had approached you and sat next to you on a log, he was worried about you and it showed, suprising you more than anything. You did not look at him, neither respond. All you did was looking into the flames, this time no need to hold yourself back from crying, because you almost felt nothing. Not even grief.

'I am-' You stopped mid sentence, unable to speak a full sentence out of fear.

I am so fucking scared of Felix!

'You are what?I am listening.' Peter spoke and raised an eyebrow. He tried to reach for you, but as his hand moved, you jumped to your feet and backed away from him, just like you did with Felix. Or because of Felix?

'What the hell?!' Peter scoffed but he was shocked and also confused. His look got softer and he tried to figure something out with his beautiful, flawless head. Peter Pan was absolutely attractive and handsome, but getting closer to him was a deadly trap. Just like now, he gave people the feeling of security and friendship, before stabbing them in the back. But instead of a knife he takes a fucking spoon, because he also makes fun out of the person while betraying them.

'I just... I really want to sleep.' You choked out before leaving the clearing to make your way to your tent, where you would finally find some rest and forget.

Waking up the next day felt anything else than relieving, the fear were still stuck in your bones and you could not help yourself but the feeling of being defenceless and all alone clenched around your heart so tight, it painfully hurt. Nevertheless you had to stand up, even if this was the last thing on earth you wanted to do right now. You felt weak, you felt alone and most important of all, you felt scared.

With shaking legs you moved outside your tent and met the warm daylight. The sun greeted you and birds were chirping nearby, and some of the boys were hollering like they used to do. You met Felix eyes across the clearing, holding an arrow and you already knew what was waiting for you. The thought of confronting the second in command made you sick after he captured you and threw you on the hard ground soon as he reached the camp. When you woke up, Thomas already covered you with a blanket near the bonfire.

Peter pulled you out of your thoughts as he approached you, looking clearly concerned and you felt shivers down your spine.

'Y/N' he called out and cocked up one eyebrow. 'Would you mind telling me why Felix threw you unconscious and wet on the camp floor yesterday?'

You swallowed and shook your head. You would not tell him, or you might get in trouble. But what if Felix went up telling him? Or alreadey did and this was a trap?

'Why don't you ask Felix?' You replied mocking and hoped Pan would stop asking any further about it.

'He won't tell.' His eyes looked angry, you could see how badly he wanted to know. Peter Pan was a control freak and since day one you were out of control. He almost went mad trying to understand you.

I won't tell him.

Looking over Pan's shoulder you saw Felix gaze, still attached on you, piercing through you like a sharp blade. Something in his eyes gave you the chills. It might was his blank expression which never told anything about his feelings, just made you freeze even in the hottest weather. Seeing him starring at you, made your face go pale. Your eyes widened a bit and you could not stop starring back like being under hypnosis.

Pan noticing, followed your gaze and ended up also looking at Felix.
'You won't train with him today. Get rest and enjoy the day.' He suddenly whispered and smiled. Holding your breath under suprise, you suddenly seemed much happier than before.

Peter pan was doing you a favor.