He brought his other hand up to your face, and gently rubbed the back of it along your cheek in a light caress. You leaned in, and practically melted at the touch. A warm blush covered your tear-stained cheeks. The blonde boy smiled softly, his eyelids fluttered, and you could have sworn everything was frozen in place. The sound of the wind breaking through the bushes and trees was muffled, along with any buzzing of an insect, or the lovely chant of the birds. Felix leaned in, his lips parting slightly, as his gaze found yours once more. You met him halfway with eyes closed, slotting your lips together as if they were made for each other. You could feel that shared breath of relaxation, how each of your heart beats started to synchronise in this special moment. It was too obvious by now, that you had craved this for a long time now and that any failed attempt only pushed you further to this ultimate high. Your knees went weak at his touch, and when the second in command pulled away after a quick realisation of what he just did, you immediately longed for that taste again.

He kissed me, you thought. Felix kissed me!

'I shouldn't do this!' Felix whimpered frustrated, and yanked his head away, squinting his eyes at the thoughts he had, while fighting against the urge to kiss you again. Like always, he did not share his inner conflict with words. 

'Why are you doing this to me?' You asked in disbelief, unintentionally sounding as if he crashed your world. Felix shot his head back into your direction, staring at you with widened eyes like a deer in the headlight. Then he slowly nodded, silently agreeing that he would hurt you if he even thought about distancing himself again. 

'Don't leave me all by myself.' You added and watched his eyes melt.

'I won't.' That was no lie. He wiped away another single tear that had crept its way out of one of your eyes. His face told you a million stories, how affected he was by all the pain that was inflicted to you, and how deeply he cared for everything that ever happened. Now it was so clear in his deep blue ponds that he called his eyes, how all this time he was torn by the suffering of having to comply, and to live in fear of losing you. 

'Why is it that I am so drawn towards you.' He asked out loud what you had in mind for a long time, but did not dare to speak out loud.  'All that time you've been a stranger.' 

'I thought you were my friend.' You reminded him of his own words. Now you understood his them and that he had been right about how you could not know how hard it was to be him. To be constantly forced to commit gruesome crimes- the boy must hate himself in unspeakable ways.

'I desperately wanted to be.'

'Just a friend?' You gave him a teasing smile.

'You're someone that I can't lose.' There was nothing to laugh about for the second in command. His voice was so serious when he spoke, too powerful to be simply undermined by amusement.

'You had some trouble showing it at first.' You gave back with the same seriousness. Maybe he did try to show you his emotions, but simply could express it in a way that was convincing enough for you, yet leaving the other boy's unnoticed. It was impossible to love someone here and keep it a secret.

'I thought if I could make you fear me, that it would make it more bearable to stay away.' Felix explained himself. 'But then I just… couldn't anymore.'

His words gave you shivers running down your spine. The many moments in which he tried to kiss you, but backed away were no fantasies. The thought alone that all this time he secretly held romantic feelings towards you caused your blood to shoot immediately into your  cheeks, as your heart pounded heavily inside your chest.

'I don't fear you…not anymore.'

He scoffed and gave you a look that could be interpreted as being more hurt than insulted. 'I wish that to be the truth.'

'It is.' You tried taking his hand, but he backed away. 

'Slap me!' Felix suddenly yelled, his voice ranging loud through the forest. You shrinked and took a step back. Felix instantly grabbed you by your hand, stopping your movements and bent down onto one knee.

'See?' He said full of sorrow. 'I raised my voice at you, and you felt fear. Slap me. Punish me, to show me how wrong I am, and that you are not supposed to fear me!'

You chuckled and pulled him up to his feet, wrapping your arms around his waist. 'You are wrong.' You said and looked up with a warm smile. 'I don't need proof of how scary you can be. How else will you break a chain of violence? Prove how good you can be!' Then you pressed your index finger against his chest while giving him a stern look. This was nothing you would just say to get past his current mood. Felix had to prove to himself that he was able to defy his inner demons and step up against Pan. Being violent and having aggressive behaviour was not his problem, instead you saw that deep inside he was a coward. Everything he ever did was out of fear to confront the green devil, and to escape the same fate he had witnessed multiple times- not commited.

'How could you kiss me after  what I did? I killed so many girls.' Felix still was not convinced. Besides being a coward, he developed a lower self-esteem, and it broke your heart to have that conclusion so late. His soft side gave you another view onto this boy, one that gave you hope to see him make more out of himself than he was now.

'But a long time has passed since then. Your cruelty is nothing compared to the work of Pan's hands. As long as you can learn to forgive yourself and let the past rest, we can let bygones be bygones.' 

'How can I ever let go?' Felix took your hands and took a step back.

'Getting slapped won't help you, that I can tell.' You said and made a small pause when an idea came to your mind. 'Those are your demons that haunt you.  If you want me to slap you, you have to slap me first.'

Felix looked at you with a deadpan face. He raised one eyebrow in a sceptical manner before his face slowly twisted into a disgusted impression.

'What you ask of me is impossible.' 

'I truly don't doubt that.' You smiled and wrapped your arms around his slender waist. Felix did not know what to say. He melted into the embracement and enjoyed the warmth. Eventually he would drop down onto one knee again, pressing his warm forehead against your chest, slowly inhaling your scents.  Felix would bring his hands up to your face once more, and gently brushed his fingers over your skin in order to explore it. You mirrored his actions, and closed your eyes just like the second in command, pressing your head against his forehead. The lost boy's skin felt soft and warm under your fingertips. His scar was bulky and rough, just like his thick cheekbones underneath all that tender flesh. After a while, Felix turned his head aside and pressed his lips onto your cheek, moving to your lips to steal a quick kiss. 

'I will do anything for you.' He mumbled barely audible enough to perceive it.

'Then help me make a plan to defeat Pan.' You whispered in response. The boy agreed with a small confirming nod. 'Promise.'

For a moment you stayed in that position, until the lost boys decided it was time to return to the camp. It did not go unnoticed to you how wide the second in command was grinning  all the way back, along with those fleeting glances. He seemed so excited that he had trouble putting on his cold facade, when finally the big bushes on top of the mountain became visible. 

Your ways separated quickly: You would use the main entrance, and Felix would make his way all around the camp, riverside up to reach the chestnut trees with the secret passage. When entering the camp, your first instinct was food. This day was Ian's day, which meant the food being served would look disgusting, but still got eaten up, so you moved into the kitchen hut.

There were a few potatoes left, and a bunch of vegetables that were gathered a few days before. Some did not look good at all, and you were sure the basket full of mushrooms underneath the table were foul. Four small potatoes, one carrot along with a slice of dried out bread was still better than nothing. Sometimes there was no time to be ungrateful, the only thing that was of importance seemed to be the pure access to the food that was left. Luckily, most boys kept their eyes out for meat, ignoring the vegetables once and for all. If you wanted some, you needed to get them yourself, no matter how exhausting it was to get them. On the way to the harvest field, you crossed paths with Felix, returning to the camp from the training field. You gave him the most joyful smile, until the presence of the other boys returned to your mind. Could you not be more obvious? Why not go to Pan and ask him to push you down a cliff again? The second you thought of the devil, he magically appeared near the main entrance, as if you unconsciously summoned him in a supernatural, satanic way.

'Felix!' Pan called his name with a stern look, right after the second in command sat down onto a log.

'What is it?' Felix asked, immediately rising to his feet to meet his leader mid-way. 

'Pirates.' Peter exhaled furiously. 'They're roaming around the island.' The green devil hissed unamused, pointing into the direction of the way to the beach. There was nothing else to say, the orders were clear. 

'Got it.' Felix gave Peter  a confirmative look. He turned on his heels without giving you another glance, disappearing through the main  entrance. With him gone, you were all alone with the leader and some unbothered boys around.  At the sight of Peter, you felt as if someone stabbed your guts with a pitchfork, and slowly started to twist it. He was smiling so fake again. It almost made you vomit. His eyes were piercing you for just a second, but it seemed to be an eternity. The way his glare would burn inside your body, giving you sweaty chills running down your spine, as if one glance was enough to spread terror. It was this stolen secretness, that gave you a paralysing feeling that he had contained way more knowledge about you than you wanted him to. 

The green devil had left you alone for this time, but it was only a matter of time until he would approach you again. Before the leader even had the chance to, you vanished around the corner behind some trees, following that narrow path to the training field. The boys were a little too busy to see someone sneaking through the bushes and trees, until you reached the gap in the hedge. Outside the camp you could freely walked down the hill towards the river. You did not want anyone to notice that you were gone again, and you could not have them around. At some point you would burst, and that was just one thing you could not allow yourself, so you needed time for yourself. Perhaps there was a chance to gather some berries and rest for a while in the sun, before you would return to make some dinner. 

Your feet led you further and further, thinking as long as you would stay at the river, everything would be fine. It was not long, when the river spread wider and you suddenly realised that you had walked off a lot more than you intended to. Not far from here was the minaty bay, the one and only place you were told never to come too close to. You were not in the mood to anger Peter for breaking one of his rules,- even though you were not even sure if this was even a rule- it was worse enough that Felix had to hunt loose pirates, and quite dumb enough of you to walk here.

At the sudden sound near behind some bushes, your curiosity overtook you. But how close were the pirates, and were there even a chance to stay undetected? The sounds went on for what seemed about a long time. Pacing towards it, you doubted that this would be a great idea. The muffled sound of male voices proved that this was no dangerous animal, neither a lost boy. It was already too late to sneak back, when you suddenly came to halt right in front of the source, nothing to cover or hide behind, as you tried to sneak closer with an immediate regret.

Pirates. 

The four sinister men stood in a small circle, occupied with a heated argument. ‘He will bring it to us! I can assure you that. What other choices does he have?’

When they noticed your presence, they suddenly stopped mid-sentence, each of them shooting their head into your direction, and eyes burned themselves inside you, as if they glued you right at place, making it impossible to move.

'Who the hell are you?' One Pirate blocked your way to escape.

No single word left your throat, as your eyes twitched full terror between those dirry, scarred and wrinkled up faces. The youngest of them, the most or even only attractive one, carried something silver that made him even more interesting than the others, it seemed to replace his head. Something about him convinced you that the young pirate was the one in charge. There was a strong determination in his blue eyes, also, he had a groomed beard, and  clean-cut, black hair. The other pirates did not look well-kept in any way. 

'Is there something I can help with?' The young man raised his voice intimidatingly, yet it was as if you could feel that this anger was not competitive to this soft sonority. He raised his hand threateningly, showing you a silver hook that replaced his hand. Two of his men started to approach you, but got called immediately back by their leader. He studied you for a moment, looking for something specific. 

'You must be the girl that blondie is so crazy about.'He stated.

'What-'

'Felix of course.' He put his hook down, approaching you with a few steps.

'How did you-'

'In so many years I have never seen him so… boisterous. He seemed to care about something a little too much. I knew there had to be a reason behind it, and what else other than a pretty girl?'

Who was this man and why was he so interested in the relationship with you and Felix? Also, if he was here, where was the second in command?

'Will you tell Pan?' You focused on nothing else, as if that was the only thing that really mattered.

The pirate chuckled amused. 'Good one, kid.' Then he saw the fear in your eyes, how serious you meant it. 'I am the last person to work for that smug asshole. He keeps me from leaving the island just like he does with you all.'

'Who are you? Where is Felix?'

'My name's Hook! And yours?' He avoided the second question, and you started to have a bad feeling inside.

'Y/N.' You gave back. He repeated it. 

'Where is Felix?' It was more like a demand, than a question. Hook did not answer at first, just stared unimpressed. 

'Let's say he is not able to attend right now.' The pirate answered slowly and sinisterly. With that, your worry grew bigger, and you opened your mouth to protest, just to be interrupted before you could even start,‘Listen up kid, you seem nice, but I can’t trust you that easily. It would be appreciated if our small encounter would stay a secret. I don’t want to get you and your sweet boyfriend in trouble. He is safe for now, and will return to you soon.’

There was no reason to trust a pirate either, especially after that hostility. He might not be on Pan's side, but he could still be a threat.

‘You should leave, before someone sees us together.’

He was right. Sooner or later one of the patrols would come by, so your little adventure was nothing that would last for long anyway. Besides all your impulses, you decided not to wander further off and look for the second in command, but return to the camp. Before you left, Hook called your name once more. 

‘Small advice? Don’t fall in love with Felix. He is Pan’s loyal lap dog. This will end terribly.’

You shook your head with a soft smile. ‘I think it’s a little too late for that now.’ 

‘Sure kid.’ He replied doubtful. ‘Just be safe.’ 

You headed back with a confirming nod, alongside the river, just in case more pirates would roam around. They did not trust you enough to include you, but deep inside, you knew that they were just trying to find an escape from Pan, too. If they were held hostage, why did Pan forbid them to walk freely on Neverland? You stopped asking yourself a long time ago when things would make sense, and when not, but this even seemed a little off to you. That even Felix cared to show them their place, showed that the pirate’s intentions were not all good. Suddenly you came to halt, detecting someone in the distance. Not a pirate, but someone who made your blood run cold.

'What are yer doin’ oot here all by yerself?' Thomas raised his voice from afar. For a second you felt caught, but you reminded yourself that as long as you did not act further suspicious, there was nothing to stand up for. 

'I am allowed to walk alone.' You hissed back. Seeing him was already enough, and interacting with him  was torture. Every cell inside your body craved revenge. Thomas gave you a doubting glare, checking you up and down. He was up to something, and you wondered what he was doing here

'What brings yer to the minaty bay?'

'None of your business.' You barked at him and strutted the other way to get away from that boy and his mischievous interrogation. 'I could ask the same about you.'

The reason for your presence was plain, stupid curiousity. Now the lost boy already knew every corner of the island, so why was he here? Thomas' smile dropped, but he tried to maintain a fake one. 'Imma keep me eyes on yer, lass.' 

'Me too, me too…' You rambled back quietly, watching him walk off past you towards the direction you just came from. The pirate had been talking about someone, and you wondered if it was supposed to be Thomas. With squinted eyes, you watched him disappear into the green, as if he knew that you were watching his every step, and that he was as suspicious towards you as you were to him. For a moment you contemplated following him, but with clear thoughts you denied that option, as  it could end up more dangerous for you. The mood to gather berries or relax in the sun was also blown away. Your stomach started to rumble, way sooner than expected, and you remembered that the lost boys were growing some vegetables not far from the camp, uphill the river. At least one of the boys mentioned it once. Near the secret path along the big hedges and trees was supposed to be a small path leading further up through some dense bushes and overgrown roots. You walked up there, and vanished around the corner behind some trees, following that narrow path to the crop field. Just a few steps in, the density of foliage and anchored branches increased. They were pressing against you with the weight of their thick branches, carrying their dense, juicy leaves. The lack of maintenance for this path, unlike the others, really showed the boys’ priorities, as they tried to make a living. Hidden behind big bushes and thick branches, the field was glowing in all its richness.  Fruits and vegetables were ready to be harvested, yet in between there was just too much rotten present. A circumstance that you needed to change as soon as possible, so at least  someone who would take care of it. You glanced over the small field- half of it was rotten, yet the existence of it was enough to calm your nerves. You were thankful for the person that once started to grow it, but even more towards the fact that it even survived the neglect.

The work was a mess- everything that was good enough barely found space inside the small baskets available, and there was just too much rotting away in between. At the end of the small field, not longer than four tents would take up, there was a small, open cottage. Its space on the ground should allow the rest to take place, until you return with even more baskets. Even though everything seemed to be just a messy pile, there was a thought behind it. The logic behind it was simple: throw the carrots and potatoes on the ground, above it the cucumbers, bell peppers and tomatoes. Then, at last, the pile needed to balance the baskets of berries and herbs on top, so everything would be safe to pick up the other day. The boys would not touch it, or barely if, so bringing it back downhill to the camp was nothing to fret about. Closing the door, you turned around to the field. Almost everything edible was dug up, so you started to work on getting rid of everything foul. As the time went by, the sun slowly made her way down, signalising you how much time  you really had spent here. There was still a lot of work to do, and now that you found something peaceful and unbothered, there was enough motivation to keep going as long as there was enough light. The dirt glued onto your skin, and ran along with your sweat down your skin as you dug the last foul pumpkin out of the soil. You threw it to the others next to the field. You took a glance up at the burning sky, the sunrays had kissed the air for the last time, before they were finally fully gone, replacing the fiery air with  purple cotton. 

'There you are!' a voice from behind broke that peaceful moment so sudden, causing you to flinch and jump around., but when you saw Felix, you could not stop grinning.

'Felix.' You spoke full of surprise that he found you here. It was a quite unfamiliar location for you to be in the first place. 'What are you doing here? I was worried that something happened.'

'I could ask you the same thing,' He said with a look around, quickly realising all the change. 'I feared you would avoid me.'

'Avoid you?' It bursted out of you in an offended manner. 'Why would I do that? I Came here to get something to eat.'

'Looks like you did way more than that.' The corner of his lips slowly rose up into a smirk, before he pulled a bag down from his shoulder. ‘Hope they’re still good,’ he said and pulled out two big fish. 

'Let’s make them here, far from the other boys.'  He then said and stepped closer to you and then to the small cabin where he would hang the bag over the door handle.

'Sure.' You replied and gestured over to the wood. 'If you would start a fire and do the cooking.'

Felix nodded in agreement. Then he gently wiped some hair out of your face, his eyes melting in the orange light, as he smiled down at you. With a closer look, you suddenly detected a bruise on his forehead. He really had some explaining to do, which also meant you needed to tell him about your encounter with the pirate named Hook.

'Your hand smells like fish.' You whispered, trying not to ruin his moment. Felix on the other hand chuckled and swayed aside to start the fire. While the fish was grilling over the flames you threw some fleeting glances at him. 'Where have you been this afternoon?' You asked.

'I had a little disagreement with our friend Captain Hook.' Felix gave back, pointing at his bruise on his forehead.

'Captain Hook?' Your eyes widened. He was the captain?

'Did you meet him?' Felix immediately got protective, his eyes glistening. 

'Yeah and worse, I fear he met with Thomas for something.' you answered.

'That smug little fucker.' Felix hissed and yanked his head away to puff out some steam.  ‘I don’t trust Hook and I don’t trust Thomas.’ 

'Do you even trust anyone besides yourself?'

'No one except you.' Felix gave back with a deadpan face. He made a pause, then continued,'Hook knocked me down to find some magic water. He has been wounded by dreamshade-'

'-What is a dreamshade?' You interrupted him excitedly.  

'It’s a poison that we use for our weapons. I am sure that’s the only thing lost boys don’t play around with. Hook had been cut by a thorn of a dreamshade vine, but he could be healed with magic water. Now if he leaves, the magic of the water fades off, and he will die. He asked me multiple times to work with him, but since he would die if he leaves, I was never convinced we could make it.'

'That’s why he had to knock you down?' You asked. 'Because you were not complying?'

He replied with a firm nod. 'Pan wants me to make sure he never does.' You understood. Everyone was a prisoner on this island, and they all shared the same enemy. You needed to find a way to form a group against Peter, without him noticing it. That would be hard, if not impossible. While you ate, There was in the distance the sound of hollering boys, almost inaudible. It was enough for you to tense up a little. Felix noticed that, but seemed pretty calm for himself now. ‘It’s getting late.’ You remarked after some time. Felix crouched in front of the fire, poking the embers with a stick. He lifted his head to look at you, then turned back to the last fish. ‘I am done eating anyways,’ he said, and after a short pause,’besides, we’re almost in the camp. If no one is looking for us by now, no one will. None of them really cares about anyone but themself.’

You placed your head on his shoulder and embraced him as best as you could reach. 

'Felix.' You said his name as if it was a dream, and not a second later his head was resting on your shoulder, too. He stayed like this for a moment. Then he pulled you between his legs, wrapping his arms around your waist, to bury his nose in the nape of your neck. You could feel the hot breath on your skin, as his hands gently ran up and down your back, pressing you firmly against his chest. It gave you a warm feeling, slowly spreading through each of your limbs.

'You smell so good.' The second in command mumbled into your hair. You laughed nervously, pushing him gently away to look into his eyes. 'You sure? Not like dirt and sweat?' If there was one thing you were really in need of, it was a bath.

'What do I care about your sweat?' He gave back with a brief kiss on your forehead, before pulling you back against his chest. If you were honest, he needed a bath as well, and you could not bring it over yourself to tell him how horrible he smelled.

'Let’s get going,' He then said out of the blue,  and removed himself out of those entangled arms, as if he was already aware of his own scent, or just started to realise it.. His eyes were looking for something around the small clearing, until he finally found it. A long wooden stick and a dry piece of cloth was quickly crafted into a small torch. Felix lit the torch with the last flames of the bonfire. Not long after it was merely glowing embers. 

'To the waterfalls?' He asked with a goofy grin, waving his hand forward. Felix walked down the other side they had entered to get faster uphill, even though the bushes were even more narrow  there. He easily helped you over fallen trees and roots- all this, just to avoid any suspicious boy that might roamed the area. When you both reached the main path, Felix stayed close to broad trees and their protective branches filled with leaves. 

'Felix? Can I ask you a weird question?' You curiously looked up to him. 'How can all these things grow here if there is no time in Neverland?'

'Just like babies.' He said carelessly with a shrug. 'With much love.'

You released that breath in your throat with a big, annoyed sigh, shaking your head at him in a desperate attempt not to chuckle.'You almost got me.' 

For the rest of the way Felix was quiet. You both took joy in this peaceful silence, just throwing fleeting glances at each other. With each step closer to the lake, you became aware that you would take a bath with the second in command, together. The thought alone gave you a tingling sensation in the lower parts of your guts, as if something was broodling inside. You wondered if Felix felt the same. His face was revealing no emotions as it often did. If you would look just long enough, you would know, but you felt inappropriate to stare. Besides, it was way too dark to really see his face. There was this burning desire to know what he felt, and what went through his head when he was not talking to you. Did he have a certain reason to fall for you? And most importantly: why could you not ask him all that? It was not that easy. His reaction towards any of those questions was beyond your imagination. Would he be mad, or cow away, or maybe,- no matter how far taken that seemed, he answered. Your chain of thoughts were promptly interrupted, once you finally arrived at your destination. There were just a few thick bushes separating you from the water, and this time it was you who led the way.

On the other side, Felix looked down at you, waiting hesitantly, then slowly started to take off his clothes, until he just wore his boxers. For a moment, you were like in trance, eyes glued onto his scars that spread all over his body like deep carvings. He had so many of them, but each different from the other, each worse than the one in his face. It was not like you have never seen them before, yet they caught your attention every time. Before you could stare any longer, Felix removed his boxers and slid into the cool water, hiding any sight below his shoulders in the dark depths. You immediately looked away when he did so, and started to undress yourself too, before it would get weird.  Felix was modest enough to turn around as well, once you were ready to slip into the water. 

‘Fu-’ You squealed at the sudden cold against your burning skin. ‘You get used to it after a minute!’ Felix laughed, clearly enjoying the surprised expression on your face. You reacted with an immediate splash in his face. Felix grabbed your hands, stopping your movements. He was so close now, barely covered in water as he locked eyes. Did he forget that you were both naked, or did he simply not care?

'Let's not play around and get out as fast as we can.' Felix spoke carefully, not moving one eye away from yours. The way he looked at you alone weakened your knees. If he only knew what little it took him to make you his. 

'We don't want any unnecessary attention from the patrols near the camp borders.' Felix whispered while containing deep eye contact. He still held your hands, and when you pulled them gently away, there was no force at all. You eagerly nodded, and with an inner exhale you turned around and broke the gaze, slowly processing what you felt about him. He left a tingling sparkle inside your guts, only making you crave more of that thrill, each time you were with him. Now under the light of the full moon, Felix looked like a broken porcelain doll with golden locks. He was incredibly beautiful. The rest of the time you washed yourself, you strongly watched not to look at him again, in order to keep your mind clear of any distracting thoughts. It only turned out with that unbearable feeling of him burning holes into your back. None of you could hide their attraction, but maybe this was a good thing.

'I am sorry that I couldn't make them stop.' Felix suddenly broke the silence. Before you could ask what he meant, you felt his hands on your back, slowly tracing the scars that the lost boys had given you. His sudden touch made you shudder. 

'I will be fine.' You gave back and looked at him from over your shoulder. 'I have to.'

Felix was not convinced, yet he did not say another word. He did not need to, for that his worried eyes spoke for him,'I need you to know that I think this can worm, mee… you… you and me- I won't let go with you by my side.' 

His words caused a rush of heat flooding through your cheeks, leaving you without words. You yanked your head forward to hide your scarlet cheeks. There was no doubt to mistrust your heart with those feelings for the second in command. In such a short time he proved over and over again that he cared and that he would make things right. Without any further word about it you two rubbed the dirt off your skin, which turned out to be way harder without soap. Felx had given you some leaves to rip apart and use their juice. It was better than nothing. Once you were done washing, Felix turned around, as if he had not seen you naked before. Even though it was not the first encounter like that, it still took time to get fully comfortable. After you got dressed, you sat close to each other to share some warmth. The fabric of your clothes were getting damp when putting on, and in general they were still dirty.

'Pan wants me to stay at the minaty bay for diplomacy with the pirates.' Felix spoke up, his eyes not darting away from the roaring waterfall that hit the small lagoon. Its noise should be loud enough, yet his whole body was tense. It must be hard for him to do what Pan wanted.

'How long will you be gone?' You asked nervously. If Felix left, there was no one to watch your back; there was no one to trust, and danger everywhere around.

'Not sure.' He grabbed your hand and let his thumbs run over your skin, and by that trying to find some comfort for himself. 'A day, maybe two.' 

With a relieved breath, you  pressed yourself against his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat for the last time in a while. 'I feared it would be longer.'

'You can do that when I am back.' Felix freed himself from your grip to stand up, no matter how much he craved to stay like this. 'It will be back faster than you can think. I am sorry for not saying anything earlier.''

'What are Pirates doing on this island in the first place?' You asked frustrated, asking the important questions though. If it were not because of them, Felix would not need to go. 'Pirates come and leave. They made a deal with Pan, bringing us supplies in exchange for dreamshade- how that story ended is clear. They aren't allowed to roam the island, though, which is unfortunately a rule not likely to be followed.'

'Is it dangerous?' You asked in fear that he would eventually get hurt after today's events. 'They helped me when I got shot with the arrow, not  because I was too proud to ask for yours, but because I feared Pan would lurk by.' Felix mumbled. 'But he also knocked me down yesterday, so it's a fifty-fifty. Depends how frustrated the captain is.' 

That made sense. In the end the leader did not even care about his second in command, and just like he said, Felix was used like a pawn that can't allow to show weakness. The pirates wanted his second in command on their side, so of course they would offer help. Maybe Hook's patience was fading.

'Hook could help us, you know that!' 

Felix scoffed and shook his head. 'You don't know him like I do, he killed my best friend, my true best friend.'

'I am sorry…'

'Hook is selfish and would do anything to get what he wants. He tried to escape and the only person I truly cared about had to die for that. I think he can rot here with Peter.' 

'I feel like he's doing it on purpose.' You rose to your feet as well. 'Sending you to Hook, testing your loyalty, as if he feels something is coming towards him.'

'You believe he knows?' Felix raised an eyebrow skeptically.

'I am not certain yet.' You exhaled and avoided his burning gaze, feeling a little bit ashamed to assume that. It was as if you were as paranoid like Felix himself, only showing it in a different way.

'What makes you think that?' He placed his index onto your cheek to enforce a gentle way for you to look at him.

'A bad feeling inside my guts. Thomas could have talked to him, and you know his influence.'

Felix nodded. He had this worried face again, the one that gave you the impression to be right, or at least to have provoked a thought in him.

'No.' He then said and slowly shook his head. 'He doesn't know.' Felix said and brushed his finger over your cheek once more, to wipe some wet hair out of your face in a calming motion.

'How can you be so sure?' 

'I know Peter.' 

'But do you know Thomas?-

Felix shot his head away and flared his nostrils. 'Apparently not as good as I thought…'

A rat and a murderer, liar and actor. Thomas was many, but none of these things were good.  'He could be a problem.' Felix mumbled and chewed on his bottom lip, as his eyes searched the ground for some answers to the questions that his head gave him.

'Maybe we need to get rid of him sooner or later.' You gave back, relieved that the waterfall would kill any sounds from you within a few steps.

'But let's not think about any of them yet.' Felix said. He was not ready to ruin his mood that easily, or else he would be worrying all the way back to the camp. This time it was dark enough for him to use the middle of the path.

'What do you suggest we do instead?' You asked. It was already late, and the sun had been long replaced by the moon. Going back to the camp and your cottage was the only option now, even though you rather not separated ways with Felix that early again.

'Sleep with me?' Felix gave back dry but unsure. You immediately widened your eyes, and could feel your mouth run dry.

'Excuse me, wha-' 

'I want to sleep next to you. For just a night before I go. As long as Pan negotiates with Hook and his crew.' He certainly had other things in mind than you, still the surprise gave you goosebumps.

'What if Pan finds out?'

'I just want to have one night with you.' Felix stopped to gently cup your face with both his palms. 'Think of all the nights without him.'

'I can't feel safe as long as he's out there.' You gave back and stared down onto the ground to escape his fleeting glances.

'What destroys me is that he wasn't always like this.' Felix let go and dropped his hands down.

'Maybe you just couldn't see what was right in front of you.'

'Well, maybe you're right.' He said.

'Okay.' You finally answered his question, and could not fight the corner of your lips to slowly rise in excitement. 'I will sleep with you.' 

Felix looked as happy as a little boy that received a pile of candy- with glowing eyes and sparkling excitement written all over his face. His expression barely changed as he led the way.

'I-' He started, but stopped to clear his throat. They had reached the camp undetected-  everything should be okay. Then Felix shook his head, as if he came to a brief realisation. 'Eh- follow me?' 

After this long day you were more than thankful to just have a bed to sleep in. Your feet ached, and you fought with every step to stay focused, as weariness quickly crept its way through your bones. Every piece of energy was applied to follow the second in command sneakily back into the camp, right towards his cabin. 

He acted oddly paranoid again, but at least he showed his emotions. His face was plastered with an excited smile, impatient to spend the night together with someone. Felix had been so rough to you at the beginning, but now everything made sense. The second in command never meant to watch you get beaten, or to put you in the cage; he was fighting his inner demons all along.

Inside his cottage it was warm and cosy. Felix moved quickly, lighting a small candle. Its light was enough to brighten the small room. Felix placed his club next to the door, then  removed his dampened clothes, and threw one of his fresh shirts into your direction to catch. Thankful for the fresh clothes you copied him and changed.

'Have you ever shared the bed with someone on Neverland?' You asked out of the sudden, only realising afterwards how weird and personal that question must seem. On the other hand this is what you were needing right now: being personal.

'No. Never,' Felix replied and made a small pause. 'Not even before Neverland.'  He remembered what happened before his life on this island? 'Peter lets me have them because I have nothing to go back to.' Felix answered, as if he could read your mind through a perplexed look as easy as that. He turned around and threw his dampened shirt into the corner, looking for some comfortable pants to sleep in. Felix stayed shirtless, so you could not help but stare at him, while he sneaked under the covers, impatiently waiting for you to follow. He pulled you into his arms the second you climbed next to him. You could feel how he wrapped his arm around your waist, allowing yourself to press your back tighter against him. 

'I like that.' He mumbled into your hair, then, slow and gentle, he traced tender kisses down your neck, warm and wet. The sudden sensation was tingling down your spine.

'Me too.' 

You closed your eyes at that burning feeling on your cold skin. He kept going for a while, until you suddenly felt his breath against your ear. ‘I will make sure you can sleep safely forever.’

He accomplished that with no problem, simply by embracing you by his strong arms, allowing you to drown in his scent. 'Sleep well.' You muttered tiredly, and before you could hear a reply, you were already asleep.

Felix was already awake when you opened your eyes the next morning. You still were positioned into an entangled mess of skin from the night before, so he was not awake for long. When he saw your eyes opening, the second in command started to smile. 

'Hey.' The boy chimed with a raspy morning voice. He gently wiped some hair out of your face and came closer until his forehead rested on yours, and his nose touched yours.

'I wish we could stay forever like this.' He mumbled and gave you a small peck. The touch of his soft lips against yours, combined with his sweet scents was giving you a tingling sensation inside your guts.  

'We will, once we are safe.' You whispered back,  pressing yourself tighter against him. 

'I have to go now.' Felix whined. You wished there was a way to convince him to stay longer, but the second in command freed himself from your grip to dress himself.

'Be safe.' 

'Don't worry, It won't be dangerous at all. Just business, and a small reminder who is in charge here.' He gave you a wink before he grabbed his club to leave.  After Felix left, you got dressed and walked to the door, stopping right in front of it. With bright daylight it was just too dangerous to leave. Someone might see you if they walked up the hills. Glebs- no, your cottage was just a leap away. Giving yourself some time, you decided to leave a lot later like the second in command. If there was anyone catching you, you would simply act as if you sneaked in to steal something. For that plan you took one of his pillows with you.

Your heart started to pound against your ribcage when you opened the door. Outside you were immediately greeted with the rising of the morning sun, but no sight of any boy. It did not calm you down until you reached your own door. You yanked it open, threw the blanket onto the ground and shut it immediately. With your forehead resting against the wood, you let out a relieved sigh. No one saw you. 

'Had a great night oot?' 

Your blood ran cold and you froze in place, not daring to turn around, not believing to hear that voice. For a while that overwhelming shock overcame you like a hurricane, but you focused on gathering all your thoughts together and shove the terror away.  

'What the hell are you doing in here, Thomas?' You turned around to face him with a glare. He was sitting comfortably on your bed, legs crossed, and leaning back into his hands. 

'What are ye doing in Felix's cottage? Yer aff yer heid.'

'Get out.' 

'Ohhhh, someone's moody.' He laughed, but only showing more interest.

'What do you want?' You spat at him, crossing your arms in front of your chest. There was always something with him. 'Come one, spit it out. I don't have time for you.'

'I want yer to steal somethin' from Pan.' He grinned even wider, simply chuckling at your response. 'Fairy dust.' 

He wanted what? Stealing from Pan could as well mean suicide, and Thomas knew that.

'Let me guess, to get in touch with your pirate friends after?'

His dirty smug face told you everything. So it was true, and he was working with Hook. It was probably out of desperation, as Thomas was a selfish piece of shit like Felix claimed Hook would be.

'He would kill yer for sure. But he would enjoy hearin' aboot yer being close with o' lovely second in command.' He purred, followed by a dark chuckle, watching the colour in your face fade away with a satisfied look. Then he slowly rose to his feet and walked towards you.

'May I?' He pointed at the door, squinting his eyes at you. It was like he was looking for something in your reaction. You stepped aside and eagerly watched how he disappeared out of your cottage. It was when he left, when you finally allowed a painful expression on your face. That creep ass. How much did he know? Did he wait here all night, or just in the morning? It was terrifying to be in the unknown again, but one thing was clear: Thomas needed to disappear.