Chapter 9

"What? What did you say?"

I guess I was mistaken, aren't I?

"Yes! You heard it right! It was your mother who cheated first! And yes! I settled for less because I loved him first before your mom but he still chose her over me! And so, I was happy when he said she cheated on him!" She cried.

"W-Well... that's because he abused her!" I defended Mom, my real Mom.

"No! She cheated twice so your father cannot take it anymore! He wanted for revenge so I gave myself as an option! It's just one night, Alessia! One wrong mistake but I was happy! Because I loved him! But fuck! Even in his darkest days, he didn't even think of me! He didn't even remember me! All he did was to mention her and her and her and her!"

I was unable to utter any words when her knees softened as she sobbed on the floor.

"I love your father so I let him cheat on me. I know... I know how he missed her. I know how I wasn't enough for him. I know that I was just an option for him but what can I do? I love him. And even if I wanted to... even if I wanted to control my emotions, I just can't. I just can't, Alessia." She weakly said while her tears were non-stop.

That slapped me hard. I guess I crossed the line too much. She was still my sister's mom so I shouldn't make her cry.

"M-Mom..."

"I was hurt too, Alessia. Really really hurt. I wanted to control my emotions thinking that I'm the only one who'll suffer at the end but I let myself ruined others in order for me to be whole. I let myself be happy in a short period of time in order for the loneliness of my heart that had been one sided for years to at least, just once, felt being loved by the one I love... even if it wasn't long." She then covered her face with her palms and sobbed.

"I-I'm sorry..."

The door clanked and I saw my sister coming out of her room. She had a bloodshot eye when she went near us. She kneeled down and hugged her mom tightly while I was left standing, doing nothing.

"I know my mom's a cheater, you don't have to repeat it a thousand times, Alessia. Why can't you at least move on? You always made it look like that we're the bad one and a burden to you. Do you want us to move?" My sister, my beloved sister said coldly.

I shook my head and swallowed hard.

"No... no... I-I'm sorry."

"I'm sick of those words, Alessia. Whenever you got back from work, you shout at me saying not to bother you. Whenever you got into a fight with mom, you always call her a cheater and a mistress. I get it, we're useless and you're the breadwinner here but I can work. I can work for both me and mom if we're being too much for you to handle."

"No... no... I didn't mean that. I was just tired so I was unable to control my emotions. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."

But instead of responding, they both sobbed while hugging each other, reminding me of the figure of me and my mom when dad was abusing us.

I bitterly smile at the mere sight of it.

Am I being like my dad? He's gone... but still, they cried and it's because of me. Am I a bad person like my dad too?

I stepped backward and decided to leave them. I grabbed my shoulder bag and went outside because it feels like I'm a threat to them.

My mind was blank when I went to the rooftop to have some fresh air. The sun was bright and sky was misty. The voice of the cars overpowered the hum of the bird and the sweet embrace of the wind ruled over the bitterness of my feeling as the positive caress of the nature attracted the negativity off my thoughts.

"Fuck you life!" I shouted at top of my lungs.

I leaned both of my hands on the railings and let my nose breathe the freshness of the air along with a heart of both love and hate towards the world.

I unconsciously opened my bag to find a piece of bar I know that'll be able take my sorrows away and I smiled when my hand felt that.

Goya, my love.

I silently thank the man who gave me this.

"Oh, so this is the girl who shouted. Eating a chocolate after ruining my sleep."

I shriek after hearing a sudden voice of a man.

He let out a loud laugh when he settled himself beside me. I looked at him, one brow was raised, wanting him to see how intimidating of a woman I am.

"Easy," he laughed before looking at me.

He's wearing a hoodie jacket and it was black and...

Shit. He looks exactly the man who gave me this chocolate.

"Do you perhaps have any brother?" I asked with a sense of curiosity.

"Oh... you mean that Grayson, huh? Let me guess, he bought you to his condo unit, didn't he?"

I swallowed hard and avoided his gaze.

"Well, he's that friendly to offer someone a room to sleep especially when he knows that a person needs it. And from what I see... you don't look okay."

I didn't respond and just took a bite of my precious Goya.

He coughed and stared at me for a while but I didn't turn my precious head back to his direction.

"I always see you in here and shout frustrating words that always ended up disturbing my sleep and for some reason, you look really familiar." He said.

"I just moved here three years ago and now you're talking shits as if you owned this rooftop and then you're acting as if we're close." I said in a matter-of-fact and took a bite once again.

He clapped and pointed his finger at me just like what his brother did.

"You're Alessia! Now I remember!"

My forehead knotted and turned my attention back to him.

"You know me?"

His smile looked like a player unlike his brother who has an innocent smile. His hair was in clean cut unlike his brother whose hair was disheveled. His eyes were the same as his brother, blue orbs. His skin was white unlike his brother who has a brownish skin.

Wait a minute... why am I even thinking of him?

I shook my head and heaved a sigh and decided to abruptly leave him alone in his so-called-territory.

"Wow, rude." He muttered.

I don't know where should I head to. I'm too ashamed to even return so I decided to go to the swimming pool.

"What an unlucky day." I uttered to nothingness after seeing that asshole.

He was obviously flirting with another girl who was wearing a bikini and his sinful eyes were looking at her boobs while they're talking. I was already at the pool when I retreated of even staying here.

Shit. He saw me.

"Alessia? Alessia!"

I turned my back and half-running; I walked my way out but then—

"White, catch!"

I heard a bark of a dog.

Shit.

The tennis ball hit the side of my head and because of the huge impact, I fell on the pool.

"Alessia!"

I almost lost oxygen because of the sudden fall but thank God I got some reflexes so I managed to pull myself up off of the water. I looked up above and there, I saw that innocent face of a man who's looking at me with a shy and embarrassed smile.

I washed my face with my palms and frustratingly spank my ears who's currently full with water.

"Hey... are you okay?" He then scratched his nape.

I gave him my deadly glare and grabbed the tennis ball who was floating on the water before throwing it with full of force on his face.

He groaned because of the pain and massaged his forehead while eyes were closed tightly.

"Hey... are you okay?" I mimicked him sarcastically.

"I didn't mean to! You're so mean!" He frustratingly said while massaging his forehead.

His golden retriever barked at me so I shriek out of shock.

"Go, my baby. Bark at that woman! She hurt me!" He complained.

"I hate dogs especially dog owners!" I fumed at him.

One laugh echoed and I saw his brother in front of me lending his hand.

"Well, I don't like dogs." He said with a smile.

"Liar. You just hate responsibilities." The Goya man protested.

His brows were furrowed when he went near us. He spanked his brother's palms and squat in front of me to lend me his hand.

That rooftop man just shrugged and stood up like his brother did nothing wrong.

I mentally grimace at the Goya man but I faked a smile and grabbed his hand not to accept his help but to pull him in in the water.

"What the fuck?" His brother laughed loudly.

I shrugged it off like nothing happened and smoothly lifted my body off of the water. Instantly, I heard whistles from different direction and that asshole who was flirting with a woman stopped after seeing me.

I didn't mind them and just stood up. The brother of the Goya man continued his laugh so he didn't notice me. My forehead knotted at the sudden attention of men who were watching me but I realized it after seeing those pervert eyes that I was wearing a white spaghetti strap so probably they saw my bra because of my wet body.

Shit. I forgot my blazer beige!

A jacket from behind covered my body and before I could turn back, he already went in front of me and there I saw the wet Goya man. He grabbed my hand and inserted it inside his white windbreaker jacket and I don't know why am I letting him touch me.

His hair was dropping wet and his nice body was reflected with his white shirt. He had a narrow facial shape and his arched brows were dark that paired smoothly with his almond-shaped brown eyes. His nose was well defined and strong and his lips—

"Oh you're looking at my lips. Are you already falling? I didn't even start yet," he chuckled lowly.

Oh shit.

"I hate braggers." I then rolled my eyes and pushed him away from me.

Now I'm wearing his windbreaker. I didn't even notice it because I was too focus staring at his face.

Oh shit. Since when did I've had interest with men's features?!

"Hey! Ms. Oh— yeah!"

"Shit." I cursed when his golden retriever followed my steps, smelling my scent.

I stopped walking but the dog didn't stop, instead, he went in front of me and smelled my scent again.

"Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit." I freeze.

The dog sat in front of me. Smiling at me, waiting for a treat like he obeyed one of my orders.

"Good job, baby!" His owner complimented.

That Goya man went beside his dog and smiled at me innocently while I was nervous, afraid that his dog might bite me.

He gave me his hands so I gave him my glare.

"Grayson," he introduced.

"Who in the shit—"

"Babe!" A loud shout of a woman interrupted me.

My forehead knotted when I saw a woman with slender figure, wearing a red tube dress, revealing her cleavage. She's white and as tall as me. And with the way she walks, you could easily assume that she's model.

"Rhiana..." He seemed shock.

She smiled sweetly at him and wrapped both her hands around his waist but then her smile faded after seeing me.

"Who are you?" She raised her brows.

I didn't respond and just went pass them. I'm not going to waste my precious saliva on that woman who seems like ready to sabotage me.

"Hey!" The Goya man called.

"Babe! Who's that girl?!"

"Stop it, Rhiana."

I stopped walking when a man shamelessly wrapped his arms around my shoulder.

"Babe, let's talk please."

I removed his hands off me and gave him my middle finger.

"Fuck you, Justine."

"Let's talk thi—"

"Hon, what took you so long?" It was another girl.

I scoffed.

"Wow, Justine. Wonder how many 'friends' do you have?"

I didn't let him answer me and just head my way out of his sight, half-running. With a trembling hand, I immediately pressed 2nd floor on the elevator. I was afraid that I might witness something awful again.

But when it was about to close, one hand made it stop and it was Justine. I oozed backward and tried my best to calm.

And just when the door closed, he grabbed my arms and abruptly kissed me. I resisted when he opened my mouth and tried my best to push him away and he did. I sobbed as I felt my body trembled with fear.

"A-Alessia..."

I tightened my grip to the elevator handle and closed my eyes to calm myself down. My sobs continued when I opened my eyes, panting because of another full-blown attack.

He touched me but I pushed him away and using my trembling hand I opened my shoulder bag to find my anti-anxiety medicine. I wanted so bad to vomit. I wanted so bad to run out of this place but I'm in an enclosed area. I cannot breathe and with a body covered with water, I can feel the sweats on my forehead.

There were a lot of medicine inside my bag, I didn't get to scan it, all I did was to pick one bottle of medicine and opened it as best as I can but he stole the medicine.

"Why are you taking medicine?"

"Please..." I sobbed.

"Answer me, Alessia."

I felt like I was choking. The fastness of my beating cannot stop and I felt like dying. Even if I tried to chase my breath, the kiss that just happened just now haunted my thoughts.

I couldn't hear him anymore all I did was to walk forward and tried my best to open the door of the elevator. I know it was about to break but I wanted to flee out of this enclosed area. I cannot breathe. I cannot say another word. All I did was sobbed, begging for the door to open.

"No! Please!" I covered my ears as I heard that voice again.

"Mother-fucker!" I sobbed and trembled in fear after hearing his voice again.

I... remembered it once again. The painful past. The chain I wanted so bad to be free haunted my thoughts. The feeling of fear once again covered my whole system.

Why? Why can't you just let me go? Why do I kept on getting stuck on the past?

What did I do wrong for you to haunt me?

And after trying so hard, everything went black.

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