R-18+

***

Chapter 48

“Closure?” He asked back.

I nodded and smile.

“Let’s start our relationship again. . . maybe this time, as friends.”

He huffed and nodded.

“Okay. Let’s talk somewhere private.”

I looked at the surrounding and we’re already outside. This is already enough for us to talk in private but since I want to spend the last remaining time I could see him as a lover, I followed him.

Until he stopped in front of his car. He opened the door for me so I stepped in the passenger seat.

It was quite. I was looking at the window while he was driving.

“Happy birthday.” I said.

He sighed.

“You hung-up before I could greet you yesterday.” I said again.

“I’m sorry. Someone—”

“Yeah, I know. I’m the least in your priority. Anyways, where are we going? Can we talk here?” I changed the topic at instant.

“At my penthouse.”

“Why do we need to go there? We can just—” The car stopped and parked in front of a huge penthouse.

I heaved a sigh when he went out and opened the door for me.

I stepped out and looked at his eyes while he closed the door behind me.

“Go—”

“Let’s talk here. Outside.” I said in monotone.

“Aren’t you cold with your dress?”

I shook my head.

“Someone could see us outside, Alessia. I know how you value your title.”

I rolled my eyes and passed by him because he’s right. Just like what Justine said, it’s not good to see that I’m chasing over a man who’s soon to get married.

The penthouse was big. He opened the door for me so I stepped in but stopped already. I didn’t observe it further in order for this to stop.

“I’ll get straight to the point. I’m sorry.” I said.

He shoved his hands inside his pocket and didn’t utter a word.

“I’m sorry if I played with your feelings back then. I’m sorry if I wasn’t there when you needed me. I’m sorry if I shouted vicious and offending words at you in order for you to let me go.” I continued.

“You hated me because I have illness.” He said in his cold tone.

I shook my head.

“That was a misunderstanding. I need to let you go because I’ll only bring harm to—”

“You’re disgusted of me because of the video. You don’t know how ashamed I was. While I was giving you confidence, you made me lost my self-confidence.” He shook his head at me.

“Grayson—”

“While I was forming you to be whole, you were breaking me one by one.” His voice was full of pain.

I bit my lower lip and shook my head.

“I was always there when you needed me but when the time comes that I needed you, you left me alone.”

“Grayson. . .”

“I carried you to move forward even if that means I’ll be stagnant in my own phase. I’m not asking for a payment, Alessia, all I needed that time was a support. A support from the person whom I shared my world to. A support from the woman whom I gave a reason to live.”

I gulped the forming pain. Now that I’m hearing his side, I can’t help but to blame myself because I know I played a big part for him to change this much.

“But you left me. Alone in the dark.” He added.

“Grayson, I-I did that because Lia—”

“Lia hated you that time because she discovered that your father was her so-called stepfather.” He cut me off.

“What?” I became dumb for a second.

“Yes, I was harming myself and I admit it. But you know that with your support, I can heal much more better! You. . . you left me because you’re disgust—”

“I’m not disgusted, Grayson! I love you! I love you that’s why I let you go even if it hurts me! I’m hurt too, Grayson! I suffered too!”

“No. You said you don’t like people with men—”

“All my decision was for your own best! I came back! I came back after months but I didn’t see you!”

“What?”

“I came back, Grayson! I came back to greet you on your birthday but you were no where to be found!”

I avoided my gaze when he stepped forward.

“Enough with the past. I’m going to move on—”

His hand pulled me closer to him and before I could utter a word, his lips already cut me off.

“No one’s going to move on.” He whispered and grabbed the side of my jaws to deepened the kiss.

“Gray—”

“I miss you, my baby.”

That softened me.

He removed his lips off me and stared at my face.

“I want to be selfish. I still want you in my life, Alessia, even if I know my world’s already a wreck ever since you left me.”

“You said you will not let your feelings grow.” I whispered.

“No. After hearing your voice, I realize that I’m not contented with just listening it on my stereo or phone. I want to hear your voice everyday, loud and clear.”

I gulped when his thumbs touched my lower lips.

“I miss you, my baby. Did you miss me too?”

I nodded and gripped his waist.

“I miss you. So much.” I whispered, admitting my feelings.

“Am I being too mean to you?” His voice was soft.

I nodded consecutive times.

“You are! You made me cry a lot of times!”

“I’m sorry. I was hurt. I’m so sorry.” He kissed my forehead many times.

“Are you still the same Grayson who loved me so much?” I hugged him.

“Uh-huh, Ms. Oh shit.” He kissed my head.

“Really?” I looked up to him. “Prove it then.”

He gave me his confused look.

“How?”

“On bed.” Fuck! This is how thirsty I am for him!

“At your service, Ms. Oh shit.” He said with a smirk and immediately lifted me up.

With my reflexes, my legs wrapped around his waist that it made a massive amount of ripping sound but we didn’t care, instead, in that cue, we savored each others lips.

His hands were gliding up to down on my legs that were wrapped around his waist while my hands were gripping his hair as I deepen the kiss.

“Grayson.” I complained in the middle of kissing when my back touched a vase that it broke.

But he didn’t listen. He didn’t even looked at the broken vase, instead, he kept on walking while I was diving inside his mouth.

Until he laid me down on the soft bed. I opened my eyes while his both knees were kneeling at the side of my hips. He’s taking off his suit so I rose up and unbuttoned his long sleeve polo.

I screeched when he lifted me up and made me sat on his lap although he’s still kneeling.

“Can I rip it?” He asked, referring to my tight fitting dress.

“As long as you buy me—”

He completely ripped it, effortless.

With both his bended knees, I kneeled in front of him and closed our body together. I tilted my head and tasted his lips once again while his hot palms was making its way inside my ripped dress, starting from my legs while his left hand was gliding up and down from my backless dress.

“Happy birthday. . .” I moaned when he sucked my neck along with his hand that caressed my throbbing flesh.

“Favorite gift of all time.” I felt him smirk on my neck.

I grasped his shoulder when he ripped my dress again from the front. He looked really thirsty that he didn’t even waste any time and in just a snap, I’m completely naked, no left cloth in me, with my back against the bed’s board as he savor my body with his wet kisses.

“Grayson!” I shouted loud when I felt his fingers along with his tongue inside me.

My hands pulled his hair but he spread my legs wider so I pushed him in it subconsciously. I opened my eyes and the heat turned into fire after seeing our intimate position.

After minutes of devouring me, I felt my body in convulsion. Catching my breath, he removed all his clothes while staring at my body intently.

“You became hotter.” I commented after seeing his upper body.

“And so are you, Miss Universe.” He smirked at me.

I gulped hard after seeing his bulge, fully ready to enter a cave.

It became much more bigger. Shit.

“Wait!” I said when he was about to go on top of me.

“Why? Are you scared?” He kissed my shoulder.

“Did someone touch it while I was away?” I asked with no left shame.

He laughed and sucked my shoulder.

“Exclusively yours.”

“So. . . can I su—”

“No.” He cut me off and lifted me up to sat on his lap.

“Why?! I thought it’s mine.” I complained.

“I won’t be able to control myself.” He smirked and sucked the side of my neck.

I tilted my head upwards and pushed his head to pull him closer to me while his hands were travelling in different areas.

Slowly, I moved upward while he groaned and held my waist to support me.

I bit his shoulder by the time his fully erected shaft entered me whole.

“Fuck.” He cursed when I didn’t move.

“Wait, Grayson! You know it’s been years.” I warned him as my body tried to adjust.

He groaned in frustration but he didn’t move, instead he shifted his attention to my neck.

I started moving so he stopped kissing and held my waist tight to guide me in.

And by the time that I adjusted, I pushed him to lay him on the bed while I’m on top of him.

He muttered a series of curses when I sat on him while he was lying on the bed, without any hesitation, I moved upward and downward with all my energy left.

“Fuck, Alessia.” He whispered in his hoarse voice.

Slowly, I pushed myself and then pulled, I did it on a slow pace where I find pleasurable and I could feel him getting harder and harder by the second, wanting to ravage me until I pass out.

My body weakened when I felt my release and immediately, he exchanged our position. Now he’s on top of me, thrusting fast and deeper without restrained, I screamed in both pain and pleasure.

“Grayson! Calm down!” I shouted but he became more aggressive like a predator ready to eat his prey alive.

He held both my hands and pinned it on the bed while his kisses went to my jaw down to my neck, thrusting in deeper and harder by the second.

Fuck it, he's doing it roughly! I felt like I would split into two any moment by now.

Shit. He seems thirsty.

Reaching our forth— maybe fifth. . . or sixth, I don’t know, he lay beside me after cleaning me.

“I’m sore.” I growled.

He chuckled and lifted my head to make his arms as my pillow.

“I’m sorry. It’s been years. You know I acted harsh on bed when I miss you that much.”

I rolled my eyes but he just hugged me and rested his face on the side of my neck while I stare at the ceiling.

“I miss you. Don’t leave me again.” He whispered in his slurred voice.

I didn’t talk. I don’t like to say another promise and break it again. 

“You won’t leave me again, right?” He asked and tightened his hug on me when he noticed my silence.

“I won’t if it’s not needed but I will if it’s needed.” I whispered.

“You won’t.” He concluded.

I didn’t answer him and looked at the wall to see if there’s a wall clock and I got shock when I saw a huge canva on it.

“Wait. Is that. . .”

“I told you I’ll transfer it to a huge canva.”

My lips parted as I stare at the painting. It’s the art he drew years ago on the digital and now I’m seeing the painting of myself while staring at the sunset with him staring at me.

“You’re a whole package. What a talented man.” I complimented.

“I’m not. I have a defective mind.” He answered.

I became quiet.

“At least you healed right? You’re not hearing any voice?”

He didn’t answer. His silence gave me an uptight and aghast feeling with the thought that he’s still hearing commands.

“Grayson.” I called.

“It’s not voice.”

That gave me an assurance. I let out a sigh of relief.

“Anymore. . .” He added but I didn’t get what he means.

“What—”

“By the way, do you want to taste my chocolate?” He cut me off.

I looked at him when he removed his face off me.

“Your chocolate? You mean that?” I pointed his hard abs.

He laughed. He’s already wearing a pants and I don’t know why he didn’t wear any shirt, maybe he wants to seduce me more but I feel sore so I’ll just go with the touch.

“Wait. I’ll get it.” He stood.

I sat on the bed with a comforter as my shield. His room looks like a master’s bedroom. Everything is white and I was shock when I saw lots of of canvas.

Most of them are my portrait but only that they’re in medium and small size. There’s even a portrait of me with my crown and inspired by Philippine flag dress while my hands were waving to the people.

“Are you a fan of the Miss Universe?” I asked when he entered the room with his chocolates.

He laughed and sat beside me.

“I’m not really into watching pageants but I am a fan of the new Miss Universe.” He answered and put a chocolate in my mouth.

I tasted the chocolate and it was sweet and yummy with different fillings in it. I nodded at him and looked at the bowl he’s holding.

“Oh! Is that Tom? The chocolate looks like Tom!” I was astounded and grabbed one chocolate.

There’s a vanilla in the eyes form of Tom with a red filling in its tongue. He’s smiling in the chocolate form while the other has different expressions.

“Yeah. Kids will like it. I guess some babies do.” He pinched my cheeks.

“Wow. Now, I’m going to eat my favorite cartoon?” I asked him with an astonished smile.

“If you don’t want. You can eat me.” He laughed.

“I’ll gladly do.” I said and bit the chocolate.

He smiled and shook his head.

We talked whole night— or morning about ourselves. About what we did for the past four years without each other’s presence. What we achieved and our failures, our ups and downs and anything related to ourselves.

It was the talk I wanted to last forever.

“Good morning, my baby.” He greeted me the moment he entered the room.

I yawned and stretched my arms wide while he hugged me from behind as I stare at the huge canva in front of me.

“What did you cook?” I asked.

“Oh, you’re not wearing any bra.” He commented.

I rolled my eyes. I’m wearing his oversize white shirt and because my dress yesterday was backless, the dress itself has its own pads but he ruined it.

“You ruined my dress.”

“I’m tempted.” He laughed.

“It’s not that transparent, Grayson. Don’t look at it.” I shook my head.

“Big. . .” He said.

I glared at him but he laughed it off.

“Can you walk?” He asked.

“It’s hard.” I growled.

“So. . . should I give you a bath since it’s hard to walk?” He suggested with a smirk.

“If I let you then I really won’t be able to walk the next hours.” I shook my head along with my hands.

“Then I’ll buy you a wheelchair.” He laughed again.

I shook my head and leaned my back against his body while his hands wrapped around my arms in the front.

“What’s with the engagement ring yesterday?” I asked.

“I didn’t buy that. Probably my mom.”

“So what did you say while I was outside?”

“I thought you heard it.” He sighed.

“Why? What did you said?”

“That my heart belongs to another woman. Mom was mad while Rhiana walked out and I don’t know where she is. It became awkward after that but the host changed the topic immediately so the celebration went on and everyone acted as if they didn’t hear anything.”

“Why are you with Rhiana this past days? Why is she staying in your unit?” My brows raised.

“She’s not. I’m just taking care of her. She’s suicidal, Alessia.”

I sighed. If I were a normal girl, I wouldn’t understand his reasons but since I’m a victim of losing a person due to suicide, I understand him. Suicidal person should be taken care of, they're not overreacting or being too dramatic, they need care.

I smelled something bad.

“Did you smell it?” I asked Grayson.

“Huh?”

I cursed when I realize something. Immediately, I ran towards the kitchen and I was not mistaken because a pan was on fire.

I turned the stove off and grabbed a pot holder at instant, I put it on the sink and turned the faucet on, the smoke of the fire was almost suffocating that I covered my nose.

“Didn’t you sme—” I stopped after seeing his state.

He’s panting and catching his breath while head were bowed. His eyes were closed and forehead were full of sweat.

“Grayson? Are you okay?” I cupped his face but he was closing his eyes.

“I-I’m okay.” He uttered in difficult breathing.

“You are not!”

He opened his eyes as breathe in and breathe out while I panicked. Immediately, I ran towards his refrigerator and opened it to grab an ice.

“Observe the ice.” I commanded and put it on his palms.

He followed what I said and looked at the ice as he catch his breath. Since I’m a mental health advocate, I’ve been with people who had panic and anxiety attacks so I researched about dealing with it. Focusing on the ice and feeling the coldness of it is one of the grounding exercises to distract someone from panicking.

My heart wrecked when he calmed down but his eyes can’t look at me and I can see on his face that he looks ashamed.

“It’s okay.” I whispered and kissed his cheeks.

“I-I have no sense of smell. I’m sorry.” He bowed and shook his head.

I bit my lower lip to stop myself from breaking down. How come I didn’t notice it.

Staring at his state, I hate to think the fact that. . .

“I-I’m not healed yet. . .” He admitted.

——————————