Chapter 45

“Really?” Thea shouted, exasperated.

“I did not!” Grayson denied.

His ears and face were red while looking at his plate. He looks embarrassed by what his friends unveiled.

“Cute.” I muttered.

I thought I was the only one who heard what I muttered but it turns out, they all heard it including Thea as they look at me, shock.

“I thought you weren’t interested with the C.E.O, huh? Why are you saying he’s cute?” Thea smirked.

I blushed and stepped my friends feet under the table to make her stop from uttering words that could embarrass me.

“Cute, huh! You told me you’re not interested with man!” She continued.

“Oh! She’s the same as Grayson! He told me he’s not interested with watching beauty pageants but he attended it several times in the Phili— what the fuck?! It hurts, Grumpson!” Jason complained.

He attended?

“Shut the fuck up.” Grayson whispered but I heard him.

“What did Grayson shouted while watching the Miss Universe pageant?” Haley asked, teasing.

“Go Philippines! Go Philippines! Wohh! Philippines will win! Go my baby! Go my baby! Go Philippines!” Lia and Jason shouted in chorus as if cheerleading and laughed.

What the— he did that?!

“Liar!” Grayson whispered although he was as red as the apple.

“So you like, Ms. Philippines?” Thea asked.

“I just like the country.” He shrugged.

“Just the country? Oh, really.” Lia said, teasing.

I don’t know why Lia’s suddenly teasing him with me since I can still remember the last time we met were she shouted at me.

“Nothing more. Just the country.” He confirmed and ate the food on the plate.

Rhiana beside him whispered something so he leaned in to listen to it.

“Are you both a couple? I’m really curious since the last time you appeared to us was you were with her in the airport.” Haley can’t help but to ask Grayson.

“Soon.” Rhiana answered and smiled at her.

Haley nodded and looked at me so I avoided her eyes.

“How about the two of you?” She was referring to me and Justine.

“Soon.” Justine answered.

I stepped at Justine’s feet under the table but he ignored it and put a food on my plate.

“How sweet! You, girl. Now that you’re the Miss Universe, answer the man! He’s always been with you  you know.” Thea supported.

“He’s courting her?” Haley asked.

“It's obvious. He liked her! She’s just numb!”

What the—?!

I looked at Thea with disbelief but she just flipped her hair.

Looking down to my plate, there’s already my favorite soup, sinigang, served by Justine. I looked at Justine but he smiled and shrugged.

I wish he didn’t. I’d feel bad for using him if he did really like me.

“Can we go to the bathroom?” I heard Rhiana whispered to Grayson.

“Mmm.” He stood.

“We’ll go. Thanks for inviting us.” Grayson smiled at Thea.

“No problem, hottie C.E.O!” She winked.

How did she became close to the billionaire? He's almost out of reach.

I gulped when Grayson removed his suit to cover Rhiana’s shoulder.

I stood too.

“Can I go? I need to rest. I just came from a photoshoot.” I whispered at her.

“Okay, girl. Just don’t complain if I flirt with Justine.” She winked.

I laughed. She’s always been this vocal and I love how she’s not faking her personality whether other people like it or not.

“Flirt well.” I whispered back before biding my goodbye.

Various people were calling me. Some wants to take a picture while some wants to flirt with me so it took me long to get down the building.

The first thing that came into my mind was his unit so I decided to take a cab and head to the building.

I can’t help but to smile while seeing the elevator of the building. It’s still the same. It’s where I panicked because of Justine and that’s when he started showing into my life.

I looked at the pool side on the glass window of the building and smiled at the memory.

“I hate dogs! Especially dog owners!” I still remember my shout when he hit me with his tennis ball that made me fall in the pool.

I don’t know what’s with me that I decided to take the emergency exit. The stairs that I seldomly touch as he always carried me makes me smile at the memory.

I reached his unit. I breathe in and breathe out to let out all my nervousness subside. I wish he still lives here even when he’s already a billionaire.

But just when I was about to ring the bell, the door suddenly opened.

Showing me Rhiana, wearing the long sleeve Grayson was wearing earlier and behind her was him, without any clothes above.

I gulped at the sight.

“Alessia? What are you doing here?” Rhiana asked, shocked.

“I-I was mistaken.” I stuttered.

“Oh. Babe, I think I change my mind. Let’s just stay in.” Rhiana said and pushed Grayson in.

And without any warning. The door banged close in front of me.

I felt a pang in my heart.

What a sight. What a great sight.

I shrieked when the door opened again and my heart skipped a bit after seeing Grayson.

“By the way, the password’s still the same. Don’t enter without warning.” He uttered with his cold tone.

I was about to say a word when Rhiana pulled him closer and kissed him on the lips. And at the sight, I turned my back on them and stepped away.

Until I reached the rooftop that I didn’t even notice because all I did was to look at nothingness, letting my heart dictate where to go.

I laughed the moment I touched my cheeks that was now wet because of my tears.

There was nothing on the roof. Only the moon that will witness another breakdown from me was the left light from the surrounding darkness.

They kissed. Wonder what they’re doing right now.

Of course they’re enjoying something on bed. What a shame, Alessia. What a shame.

I stopped at my thought when I felt a jacket behind me. My heart skipped a bit after seeing Grayson behind me, wearing a white hoodie.

“It’s going to rain.” He gave me his umbrella.

I didn’t accept it and faced him.

“Can we talk?” I asked.

“We are talking.” His voice was still cold.

“Are you—”

“I won’t answer personal questions.” He cut me off.

I sighed.

“A-Are you over me?” I gathered all my courage to ask that question.

He was silent for a moment. I hugged the jacket he gave me and bit my lower lip.

“It’s o—”

“Of course. I told you, I regret meeting you.” He cut me off again.

My lips parted out of shock as I once again felt a pang in my heart

“You regret it? Why?” I can’t help but to ask.

If I was the old Alessia then I’ll just nod and won’t ask further question to prevent myself from hurting more but because I learn that silence is not always good. I asked him a question I know could hurt me.

“Every memory of us. I regret remembering them. No reason. I just regret it.” He shrugged.

“Do you still regret the fact that you loved me?”

Shit. I should stop.

“Of course. I regret loving a toxic woman.”

I gulped the pain.

“I-I’m not that kind of woman anymore.” I whispered.

“I’m over you. So get over me. Don’t chase over a man who doesn’t love you anymore.” He shook his head.

“Can I. . . can I at least hug you? I miss. . . even just a hug?” I asked in pain.

He sighed.

“If only I don’t pity you.” He shook his head in disbelief.

I bowed down and bit my lower lip to stifle my sobs.

I reached my dream! I reached the dream you wanted me to be! Why can’t you at least hug me to congratulate me for reaching it?!

He hugged me just like what I said.

I sobbed in his arms.

“I-I reached it. . . I reached what you wanted me to be, Grayson. I-I reached it for you.” I whispered.

I hate to think the fact that his embrace still feels the same. That his embrace is still the same embrace whom comforted and loved me years ago. The embrace whom my body missed for the last years of living without his presence.

He didn’t utter any words. He let me sob in his arms.

Until I get tired and pushed him away.

“You still  love me.” I said without hesitation.

He didn’t answer, instead, he stared at me.

“But your anger was covered by love.” I concluded.

He sighed and shook his head.

“Look. I don’t—”

“Because if you didn’t then you shouldn’t have followed me here. Because if you didn’t, you should’ve enjoyed your night with Rhiana by now. If you really didn’t, you. . . you wouldn’t still live here! You knew this was the only place I know where you are but you stayed here!” I cut him off.

He closed his eyes and tilted his heads upward as if he was having a hard time with the way he massaged his nape.

“Lia’s—”

“Shut the fuck up, Grayson. Lia is not living in here anymore. She has her own house and Thea told me about that!”

He opened his eyes and our eyes met.

“Yes you’re right. I still love you.” He confessed and I was shock.

“So—”

“But I will stop this feelings. I promised myself not to love a woman like you again and I won’t break that promise. You’re unhealthy for me.”

“But, Gray—”

“Stay away from me, Alessia. Because even if I still love you until now, no I’m not going to let this feelings grow. You ruined me and I won’t let myself be ruined by the same woman again.” He turned his back on me.

Seeing his back breaks me.

We used to walk the same path together. You used to be my feet when I cannot stand and now you’re walking in your own path, away from the person whom you used to ran towards to.

Yes, we’re in a toxic break-up. I ruined him and that is indeed toxic. I cursed at him and he regretted loving me. How insensitive of me to show up in front of him after wrecking his life.

Rain poured just like what he said but I didn’t use his umbrella. I let myself be soaked by the tears of clouds along with the tears that poured down from my eyes.

With a weak supporter, my feet gave up, I covered my face with my palms as I sob loud. I thank the rain for covering my sobs but at the same time, I hate it for crying with me as if it was pitying me.

The loud pouring of the rain was surrounded by me along with its huge drops that kissed my skin but it stopped dripping although the rain still pours.

I removed my palms off my face and looked up to the person who gave me his umbrella and even though I couldn’t see his face because of the umbrella, I know it was Grayson. He’s letting himself get soaked by water just to cover me up with the umbrella.

Nostalgia.

“You should’ve used the umbrella I gave you earlier.” His voice was still cold.

“I can’t walk.” I said, shameless.

He sighed and kneeled in front of me. With a courage, I equaled his intense stares but in the end, he ended up avoiding his gaze. He grabbed my hand and gave me the umbrella.

In front of me, in a swift motion, he removed his hoodie off revealing only his white shirt that soon got wet.

I gulped after seeing the draw— I mean art in his body because of the water that made it transparent while he covered my waist with the jacket.

I bit my lower lip when his back faced me, telling me to that he’ll carry me so without any hesitation nor shame, I wrapped my legs around his waist and held his shoulder.

He sighed loud and stood while carrying me, piggy back. I can’t help but to smile when I felt the nostalgic memory of yesterday.

You’re crazy, Alessia. You were crying earlier and now you’re smiling wide.

In silent, he started walking. He was not holding my legs because he’s making the jacket his way not to hold it just like what he did back then. I want to tell him that he can touch every part of me so it’s okay to touch my legs but since I still have a tiny shame left, I chose silence.

“It’s the 9th floor already.” I said.

“I’ll drive you to your house.”

“No. Uhm. I don’t have a house here in New York.” I lied even though they sponsored me an apartment for being the Miss Universe.

“Didn’t you got a sponsored apartment during your reign?”

Shit. He knew the prices.

I glued my lips together and didn’t utter a word.

Yes!

At the back of my mind, I celebrated when he turned to the 9th floor.

Biting my lower lip to stifle a smile, he pressed the door password.

Just smile, Alessia Mae Robins.

I counted the number of the letters and it’s still indeed me.

The moment we entered his unit, I saw large canvas that was facing its back. I guess he still paints.

He put me down so I walked towards the sofa and sat in there.

Shit, Alessia. There’s nothing wrong with the sofa. Stop thinking of something dirty.

But damn, I just can’t help but to remember what we did to this sofa back then.

“Change. Stop blushing.” He gave me his clothes that pulled me out of my reverie.

I gulped and looked up to him but he turned his back on me.

“Wait!” I shouted that made him stop.

I stood when he turned to me. His forehead knotted when I removed his jacket off me and stepped towards him.

“Can you,” I turned my back on him and pointed the zipper. “Unzipped it?” I added and bit my lower lip.

He muttered a series of curses and as much as I wanted to hide, I ended up smirking.

I still have the effect.

“Change in the bathroom.” He said and unzipped my dress, only little.

“Unzip it until bottom.” I ordered.

“Stop tempting me. You can unzip it yourself.” His voice was cold.

I faced him and I saw how his eyes darkened.

“Why? Am I cutting that little string of patience you have?” I asked.

His jaw clenched.

“Go change.”

He was about to turn his back on me when I grabbed his arms and without warning, I crashed my lips against his.

He’s really tempted that his hands immediately lifted my jaw to kiss me deeper and it made me step backward.

I wrapped my hands around his nape as I equaled the intensity of his kiss. We both seems so thirsty towards each other that I ended up immediately on the sofa, him on top of me.

His hands reached for my back that I arched my back for him to unzip my dress and when he successfully unzipped it until bottom, without wasting a second, he removed the dress off me until my waist.

I bit my lower lip to stifle a moan when his kisses went down to my neck and sucked it along with his tongue that tickled it. We’re both dripping wet because of the rain but it didn’t stop us that the coldness of the water invading our body got replaced by the raging fire we both felt towards each other.

Loud screech of a woman made us stop.

He stopped and my eyes opened.

“Fuck. Wait! Rhiana!” He stood and chased over her.

While I was left alone on the sofa.

Ashamed, I rose up from lying and put my clothes back on.

Shit, Alessia. How could you let yourself do such thing?

I stared at nothingness while he chased over Rhiana. Minutes passed and he didn't come back, my heart clenched as my mind formed various scenarios on how he was coaxing her to forgive him.

I can't take this anymore, I should distract myself.

My eyes shifted to the television stand and I saw the same picture frame I saw years ago.

With a heavy feeling, I went near it and grabbed the picture frame.

It was the almost burned picture of a man in his early forties or late thirties and as I observer further, he looks like Grayson. Beside it was a burned picture of a child and maybe it was Grayson.

“It’s not your fault.” I read out loud the first clear calligraphy on the picture.

I squeezed my eyes to read the other one that was almost faded.

“I wish you’re. . . alive.”

I sighed. So this is for his father.

But I noticed another calligraphy connected to it.

It was a new calligraphy. It looks new and seems like it was written not long ago before the first one.

“I. . . hate, Alessia. . .” I was shock after reading my name.

He hates me? Why?

“Alessia’s father. . .” I continued.

My heart skipped a bit after reading the next words that made my jaw drop.

For killing my father.

—————————