Chapter 41

It hurts. Stepping away from the man you love was viciously painful. It was as if every step from the sand lashing a cascading drop of memory I had with him was telling me to come back and fix everything once again.

I wanted so bad to shout at him. I wanted so bad to hurt him for doing such thing but I’m too drained.

I sobbed hard the moment I felt his hug from behind.

“Let go.” My voice cracked.

“I need you. I want to be selfish because I need you. Please don’t leave me. . .” He begged as his voice cracked in pain.

With my remaining strength, I removed his hands off me. Uttering another word was tormenting for me. I wanted to ask him why he did such thing but because I'm a coward when it comes to him, I chose silence.

I’m afraid I might break down the moment I listen to his answer.

It was obvious.

I’m not a woman who can satisfy him.

I’m not the woman who he needs when he’s having a break down.

Because I am the woman who needs him more more than he needs me.

“I know I was unselfish back then but the moment you embraced me after telling what I’ve been through, I know I needed you. Please don’t. Please don’t leave me.” His hug tightened.

You were there whenever I needed you but I’m afraid I cannot be with you the moment you need me.

I’m too broken. I felt like one last string of loving you, my hands will completely lashed out from the rope I’ve been holding on this past years.

Hope.

And I fear of being in the darkness again.

“I don’t love you anymore.” That’s all I can say without cracking up.

“No. You’re lying.”

I shook my head.

“I’m tired of loving you.”

And that’s when. . .

He let go of me.

Biting my lower lip as tight as I could to stifle my sobs, I stepped away from the man who my heart has ever wanted to love even with its shattered pieces.

Alone in my room. I cried hard. All night until my body gave up along with my eyes that dozed off.

“Are you sure you want to stay here? Are you really okay?” Mom asked, worried, the next morning.

“Mmm. Go.” My voice was husky due to crying all night.

She sighed.

“Okay. I’ll give you your time alone.” She gave me her feigned smile.

Andra went to me and hugged me tight before letting me go. And back again, I stayed in my room, did nothing but to stare at nothingness until the next day came.

“A-Are you okay?” Aiden suddenly appeared beside me, worried.

I was shock at his appearance. It has been a month since they left and I thought he left with them but it looks like he’s still here.

He sat beside me on the swimming pool area, and looked at the sunless and cloudless sky.

“What are you doing here?” I asked and played with my feet under the water.

“I feel guilty.” He said.

I looked at him but he’s looking at the sky.

He sighed.

“I did something awful again.”

My forehead knotted along with my brows that furrowed.

“What are you saying?” I asked, confused.

“Well, first of all, I’m going to confess. I lied to you.” He looked at me and gave me his feigned smile.

“Lie? What lie?”

“I’m not white, your childhood best friend. It was my brother. Maybe you couldn’t remember it but we look the same when we were young.” He chuckled.

I didn’t utter a word. Half of me was surprise but half weren’t because I had this hunch about that.

But nothing will change even after knowing it was him or not.

“We were close back then. He told me you were his childhood crush.”  He said with a smile and looked at the sky.

“What you're doing is pointless. We broke up.” I shook my head.

“And do you what I realized?” He asked.

I didn’t respond.

“That he told me back then the promise he made with you the moment you’ll see the mature him again.”

I tilted my head out of confusion.

“To introduce himself again as your husband and not as White.” He added and laughed.

My lips parted as I remember the memory.

The vivid memory that lashed after hearing what he said.

“I’m not White! Stop calling me White. I’m tanned!” He pouted.

I giggled.

“White! White! Continue the song, White!” I teased.

He pouted again and strummed the guitar.

My white is eight years old but he is good! I wanna learn!

“Go, White!” I clapped and giggled again.

He pouted and stopped strumming.

“I won’t sing! I’m not White!” He crossed his arms and scowled.

I pouted.

“Fine!” He pouted too.

I clapped and moved my feet to celebrate.

“If I’m adult like dad, you’ll call me husband not White anymore! Promise!” He giggled.

“I’ll wait for that White!” I giggled too.

Back then I didn’t know what husband is since mom didn’t call dad like that.

But reminiscing it, I can’t help but to laugh at it.

We were young back then yet he knew such thing.

And thinking of it, that was our last interaction.

Before he left me without proper goodbye.

Was he ashamed of the fact that he left me without goodbye that’s why he didn’t introduce himself seven years ago?

Or was he ashamed because he knew his mother was my father’s mistress?

“I miss him.” I blurted out.

“Then go.” Aiden said.

“No. That will be tormenting. He cheated.”

“You see. . .” He trailed off.

“What?”

He sighed and bowed.

“I was the one on the video.” He whispered but it was enough for me to hear it.

I stood.

“What?!” I spat.

He stood too.

“I’m so—”

I slapped him.

“He begged for me!” I fumed.

“Look, I didn’t—”

I turned my back on him.

Without any proper thought, I packed my things. I need to see him.

He needs me.

But I told him I’m tired of him.

Shit you, Aiden!

I wanted so bad to curse at him. To punch him until he's completely knocked out.

But I chose not to waste time.

The flight seems so long. I couldn’t stay in place due to anxiousness.

Grayson, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.

Shit.

This is what I get from choosing silence over communication.

The mere sight of him with Rhiana, her clinging onto his arms, while him, holding the umbrella.

And the worst part is. They were laughing together.

While me?

I was soaking wet. Not minding the rain just to see him but this was what I got to see after running all the way, not sleeping with the thought of him.

Rain still kept on pouring, its sounds keeps on crashing the street, but the drops left my body.

I looked at the man beside me.

“Long time no see, ex. . .” Justine smiled.

Instead of hating him, instead of pushing him away. I found comfort in his smile. The thing I needed in this situation.

“Alessia?” It was Rhiana’s voice.

Shit. I forgot I’m outside my building, the same building as his.

She gazed me from head to toe and grimaced at my state.

“What’s with the wet luggage? I thought you have no plan of coming back.” She uttered.

I wanted so bad to punch and knock her out again.

But for the sake of the energy left in me, I ended up clenching my fist to stop myself.

“Let’s go.” It was Grayson’s voice, cold.

“Wait. Grayson.” I called, not minding how disgusting my stance is.

“I’m sorry, Miss but I have a work to go.” He looked at his wrist watch.

It wrecked my heart.

By how he talked to me, It was like I was another stranger asking for his attention.

I gulped.

“Can we— uhm. Ca-can we talk?” I stuttered.

He sighed.

“Can we do it another time, Miss? I’m really sorry, but we need to go.”

Silence enveloped both of us.

“I think my friend needs to rest. Let’s go.” Justine said and pushed my back slightly to move.

Grayson’s jaw clenched and avoided his gaze.

As much as I wanted to think that he’s jealous but it was too late because they already walked their own way.

“I just visited your sister. She was like a sister to me so I hope you won’t mind.” Jason informed.

“She’s a minor.” That’s all I can say.

“Hey! Hey! I’m not like that. People can change for the better.” He gave me his genuine smile.

I sighed and nodded.

For the last time, I turned to their direction.

I don’t know if I was mistaken but I saw Grayson staring at us with his dark eyes if only he didn’t closed the window from his car and maneuvered it.

Was he. . .

“Yes you’re right. He was about to beat me up until my death with his stare.” Jason confirmed.

That gave me hope.

With Jason carrying my luggage, I went inside my unit. Andra and mom was already sleeping and they weren’t informed of my sudden appearance.

I tried to sleep on the couch because of tiredness and I did get to sleep only that I woke up in the middle of the night.

I looked at the wall clock. No it’s not night. It’s already morning. Only it was too early.

Five in the morning.

And since I cannot wait for another time to pass, I took a bath, brushed my teeth, and arranged myself unbeknownst to the two who’s in deep sleep.

I want to see him at instant so I chose to wear the fastest one to wear. Instead of jeans, I wore a short maong jeans with white spaghetti strap and blazer on.

“Yes! Finally! Our shift is done! Good job everyone!” Lia’s voice was on the hall as she clap for her colleagues.

They bid their goodbye until I decided to went near her.

“Lia.” I called.

Lia was about to pass by me when he heard my voice. Flabbergasted, she looked at my direction.

“Alessia. . .” it was long before she smiled.

“Grayson?” I asked.

“He still has one hour left before his shift end. Do you want coffee?” She offered.

I shook my head.

“I’ll wait for him here.”

She nodded and sigh.

“Go wait inside his on-call room, there’s a bed there. I’m sure he’ll rest in there after his shift. By that, you could talk.”

I nodded and smiled at her.

She guided me towards his on-call room, she has a spare key for that and I didn’t ask further. All I did was to wait for him while sitting on the twin size bed.

An hour had past and the door opened so I immediately stood with fast thumping heart.

Grayson entered the room while wiping his face so he didn’t see my presence. His hand were wet too, it looks like he washed.

I gulped when he removed the towel on his face and our eyes met.

His lips parted out of shock because of my presence.

“I-I. . .” My eyes played.

“Get out.” His voice was cold.

“Can we—”

“Get out. I need to rest.” He cut me off.

I gulped when he locked the door.

“Just a minute?” I tried.

“What do you want to talk about?” He asked in monotone.

“The uhm. About something— uhm.” Shit. I was lost of words.

But he looks like he was not listening because he sat on the bed and removed his shoes as if I was not there.

“Faster.” He commanded.

“I-I’m—”

I bit my lower lip when he lay on the bed and closed his eyes as if he was not interested.

“Talk to me.” I almost begged.

He opened his eyes and rose up.

“What is it? Faster.” He asked, irritated, sitting on his bed, he messed his hair.

“Grayson, please listen to me.”

He stood and shoved his hands inside his pocket, and with a cold eyes, he looked at me.

“I,” He stepped forward.

I stepped backward.

“Am.” He stepped another step. “Listening,” he stopped.

“I’m sorry.” I avoided my gaze.

He didn’t talk.

“I didn’t mean—”

He kissed me without warning. With both hands on my jaw as if thirsty. He didn't even wait for my explanation.

I kissed him back and tip toed to kiss him deeper.

“I miss you.” He whispered in between our kisses as he pant.

I wrapped my hands around his nape and embraced his kisses.

“I miss you too, Grayson.” I whispered.

With our hungry kisses savoring each other’s lips, my back reached the door.

He removed my blazer off.

I felt a tingling sensation the moment his hot palms touched my bare shoulder down to my arms, rubbing it while his lips kept on crashing against mine.

We were too thirsty with each other that his kisses immediately reached my neck.

“Grayson. . .” I whispered a moan.

His hand went down to my hands and reached it towards the door handle.

“Lock it or open it. It’s up to you.” He’s asking for my permission.

Without a second thought, I pressed the lock button.

At that cue, he pulled the hem of my strap up and threw it on the ground. I stifle a moan when his kisses travelled to my bare front.

I unbuttoned his long sleeve polo while he unclasped my bra.

I cursed when his mouth reached my mound while the other hand played with my left peak and the remaining hand caress my throbbing womanhood.

“Grayson, lay me.” I was asking him to put me on the bed.

But it looks like he mistook my words into something else since his hands immediately pulled down my short.

“On bed. . .” I added, having a hard time breathing.

Without wasting anything, he carried me bridal style and kissed my lips again, hungry. I wrapped my hands around his nape and equaled his ravenous kisses.

I felt the bed on my back but it was only half my body that was laid on it while my lower part was touching the ground.

And the next thing I knew is that I almost screamed loud if only his hands didn’t cover my mouth.

“Shh, baby. I’m afraid we’ll do it in here. I have a short string of patience especially when I miss you this much.” He whispered while his fingers were fucking me.

“Shit, Grayson.” I whispered and dug down my nails on his shoulder.

I cursed a lot when I felt his two fingers inside me.

He kissed me once again on my neck so I tilted my head until it went down to my mound, it played with it for a while but it soon went down to my abdomen, close to my throbbing flesh.

I covered my mouth to stifle a scream when his hot mouth reached it along with his fingers that made my sanity travelled out of my mind.

I looked at him but it made me more crazy after seeing his state, kneeling in front of me while eating his favorite desert, spreading it more and enjoying the taste of it.

The next thing I knew, he was already thrusting inside me while I was doing my best not to let out a scream, shout or any sound.

I bit his shoulder when his rhythm became faster and deeper leaving my sanity completely out of my being.

We both reached our ecstasy.

He cleaned me and I was amazed that he has tissue and alcohol with him.

I hugged him tight the moment he lay beside me.

He kissed my head.

I guess it was obvious.

We both longed and yearned for each other’s touch and kiss.

But the peace I found in his arms disappeared after seeing something that wrecked my heart.

He’s wearing an engagement ring.

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#Surprise 🎊🎉 Ahaha.

#Read at your own risk, please 🙇🙅

#Gulat kayo ‘no? Relax. Ako lang ‘to si brought to you by, Tide. Ahaha.