Chapter 31

“What do you want to talk about? Faster, Andra’s waiting.” I sat on his sofa.

He went in front of me, both hands inside his pockets, and both eyes looking at me intently.

“Why were you with him?”

“What’s wrong with that? Am I not allowed?” I asked back.

“I don’t want you being with another man while I’m in work.”

I shook my head.

“Oh no. No one’s allowed to control me. I’ll interact with whom I want to interact with.”

“And I’m not allowed?”

My brow furrowed.

“Who said you’re not allowed? I’m not even controlling you!”

“You are, Alessia. You even want me to block Rhiana so I did.”

I scoffed.

“You did, huh?”

“Yes I did.”

Liar.

“You know what, I’ll go.” I stood.

“We’re not done yet.” He pulled my arm and made me sit.

I glared at him.

“What?! You’re going to reprimamd me? Gonna sabotage me for interacting with another man?!”

“I’m not going to sabotage you, I just want you to know that I don’t like—”

“I don’t care what you don’t like. I’ll be with him whenever I want and you can be with your ex whenever you want.” I rolled my eyes in frustration.

“What? Why is Rhiana suddenly on the topic? We’re talking about you being with my brother.”

“What’s wrong with that?”

“I don’t want you to be with him.”

I rolled my eyes.

“Don’t you trust me, Grayson?”

“Why? Did you trust me too?” He asked back.

I huffed and stood.

Without any words, I turned my back on him.

I don’t want to talk especially when I’m mad. I would rather choose silence than to dispute things that’ll only waste my saliva.

“Where are you going? I’m not done yet.”

I didn't talk and continued walking.

He grabbed my arm and made me face him.

“Talk to me.”

“I told you, I don’t want someone controlling me. That’s a huge red flag, Grayson.” My voice was in monotone.

“That’s why I’m telling you my problem because I don’t want to sleep having a grudge towards you.”

“So? What do you want me to do? Avoid him? No way! I choose whom I want to avoid and you can’t do anything about it.”

He huffed.

“So you’re allowed to control me while—”

“Do what you want! I don’t care so let me do what I want! I don’t want a toxic relationship like mom and dad!” My voice rose.

It was a moment of silence. He was probably gauging my anger.

“I’m jealous.” He avoided my gaze.

My lips parted and was about to spit another phrases but it didn’t utter any words after hearing what he said.

“I’m jealous because he’s the one who got your first date while I’m your boy—”

“Okay, let’s have our date.” I cut him off.

It was another silence.

“Are you mad?” He broke the forming crickets.

I shook my head.

“I’m sorry.” He suddenly hugged me and sighed loud.

I sighed before hugging him back.

“Don’t be jealous. Jealousy will only lead to something bad. Just like what. . . dad did to mom.” I whispered and hugged him back, finally calming down.

He sighed and kissed my shoulder.

“Okay, my baby. I’m sorry.”

“You want me to punish you?” A smirk formed into my lips.

He chuckled.

“No copying.”

“Copy that.” I loosened my hug on him and stepped back.

“You’ll go?”

“Yeah. To Andra.” I grabbed the paper bags on the sofa.

He sighed and pouted. “Okay, let me carry the ba—”

“I have hands.” I turned my back on him.

“I have hands too.” He stole my paper bags.

“No need.” I stole the paper bags off his hands.

He sighed.

“Bye, baby. I love you.”

Clingy boy.

I didn’t respond and walked my way out his unit.

“Andra?” I shouted and put the paper bags on our small sofa when I reach our unit.

My forehead knotted after seeing a card on the floor outside our room so I went near it and picked the card.

I gasped after seeing her grades.

She dropped 4 subjects marked as F, two D’s and the rest which was highest among her grade was C.

“Andra!” I fumed and opened the door that wasn’t lock.

Still, she’s in her bed, sleeping, everything in the room was a messed.

I turned the light on without caring if she's sleeping or not. I heard her little murmur, and rudely, she covered her body with a comforter.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Breath in. Breathe out.

With full of force, I kicked all the junk food wrappers and empty cans away and walked near her.

I threw the card on her body.

“Why did you drop four subjects?” I tried to control my voice from shouting.

“Why do you even care? Just turn-off the light!” She complained.

“Why do I care?” I scoffed. “I worked hard for you to finish your education and now you’re just going to drop your grades that easily?!”

“I did not tell you to work hard for me!”

“Because I want you to reach your dreams, Andra! I didn’t even get to reach mine because all I did was to work hard at an early age just to sustain your needs as a student!”

She removed the comforter off her body and rose from lying.

She glared at me.

“I don’t have any dreams!” She shouted too.

“What?! Don’t tell me the whole 4 years of me working as a waitress and 3 years as an unknown model will just go to waste?! I worked hard for you! Can’t you see?!” My voice became hoarse from shouting.

“I don’t have a dream so stop! All my dreams are stripped since the day mom left me! I have no inspiration left so why do I need to keep on going! Just leave me alone in this darkness and go find your own light! I’m just a burden!” She covered her body again with a comforter and went back to her usual position.

My lips parted as my heart crumpled, hearing those words from the person I love the most felt so much painful than a heartbreak.

“Andra. . .”

“Go away! I get it! I’m a burden! Just let me sleep to detach myself from reality! I’m so sick of this life!”

“An—”

“I want to sleep!”

I sighed and nodded.

“Okay. I’ll cook a dinner for you. Eat please.” I softly said.

And that’s what I did. I cooked a corned soup for her.

She was sleeping when I left our unit to head towards Grayson’s unit. I understand that she doesn't want me in there and she'll probably won't eat anything if knew I was there so it's better to give her some space alone.

When I reached Grayson's unit, he was humming a song while cooking a dinner, I was facing his back so he was oblivious of my presence.

Smile by Johnny Stimson.

I smiled. All my sadness suddenly dissipated just by hearing his voice.

I hugged him from behind.

He stiffened.

“Oh. It’s my baby’s hand.” He caress my hand.

I didn’t respond, instead, I leaned my face against his back and let out a deep sigh.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

I was silent for a while.

“Andra. . . Dropped her grades. I’m worried about her future.” I finally said the words burdening me.

He sighed and faced me.

“What is she doing right now?” He tucked the strands of my hair.

“Sleeping. Everything was a mess in the room. I don’t think she has even wash herself for days.”

He was quiet. His eyes were looking at mine and staring at me intently before letting out a deep and long sigh.

“I think she’s. . . depress. That’s what people do when their depress. Some might think they’re being lazy but deep inside they’re having a hard time.” His words were very careful but still, every words he said was like a big slap to me as her sister.

I bit my lower lip and gripped his shirt.

“It’s okay, baby. I’ll tell Lia to consult her tomorrow. Can I see her state now?”

I instantly nodded.

He kissed my forehead and turned off the gasoline before gripping my hand.

In the elevator, I can’t help but feel anxious just by hearing what he said.

How did I fail to see the symptoms?

“Don’t worry, baby. I’m sure she’ll regain her happiness back.” He rubbed my back.

I nodded and leaned my head on his shoulder to calm myself down.

His shoulder never did fail to calm me down.

The moment we entered the unit I was appalled by what I just witnessed.

“Andra! Why are you throwing the food I cook in the sink!”

After hearing my shout she immediately let go of the pot that it fell on the ground.

“Shit.” She cursed because of pain from the soup that accidentally touched her hand and feet.

“I’ll go clean the mess. Treat her.”

I nodded at Grayson and with a restraining anger, I gripped her hand as tight as I could and pulled her to the living room.

“I-I’m not in the mood to eat.” She said and bowed.

I didn’t respond and went to the living rooms cabinet to grab the first aid kit.

With full of force, I threw the kit on the table that it made Grayson jump out of shock.

“Treat yourself.” I said in monotone.

“No need. I want to sleep.” She avoided my gaze.

“It will leave a mark if you don’t treat yourself. Treat yourself, you’re the only one who can help you heal. So reach that damn shit hand of yours to that tool and do the treatment with your will.”

She huffed and grabbed the kit.

And I watched her treat herself. Sometimes I would spank her when she’s doing it too harsh on herself, sometimes I’ll scold her for not having the guts to do what needed to be done, but most of the time, I’ll silently watch the process of her treatment giving her a helping hand if she needed someone, guiding her the right process of treatment not in the process of being stagnant.

“I already clean your room. Where’s she?” Grayson asked as he let out a whew, wiping the sweat off his forehead.

I gazed him from head to toe. His brownish hair was messy, his forehead was full of sweats and I bit my lower lip to stifle a smile after seeing his attire— wearing an apron and gloves with dusk and cleaning materials inside the apron’s pocket.

He looks cute and hot at the same time.

“Don’t look at me like that, Ms. Oh shit. I know I’m a mess.”

I smiled and grabbed the handkerchief inside my pocket and tip toed to wiped his sweats away.

He bit his lower lip to stifle his smile and crouched a little for me to wipe his sweats easily.

It was silent. He was looking at me intently and I was wiping his sweats off.

“Oh wait. Someone’s calling.” He stepped back and shove his hand inside his pant’s pocket.

Did his phone ring?

“Hello, Ethan?” He answered the call.

Ethan? What a coincidence.

“I’m with my girlfriend. Why?” He glanced at me.

I looked back at Andra who was now in deep sleep on the couch and shifted my gaze back to Grayson.

“What? You got bullied?” His brows furrowed.

Still, I wiped his sweats while he was busy talking to his phone.

Weird that I don’t hear anything on the line even when I’m close.

“Hey, hey. Don’t blame your father. Your father’s not at fault. Those who bullied you are the one’s at fault.” He clicked his tongue and massaged his temple.

He stretched his forearm as if it hurts.

I grabbed his forearm so he looked at me and smile but I shifted my gaze down to his forearm full of scar.

I wonder why does he have to hurt himself for him to suffer with scars?

“Hey, Ethan. Don’t you dare shout at your father. I can see your face, you look mad. Calm down.” He pointed himself on the reflection of the window as if he can see him so I laughed.

He kissed my forehead and pinched my cheeks.

“I’ll go. I’ll go. I’m watching you, Ethan. Don’t shout at your father.” He laughed on the line. “Yeah. Yeah. I’ll spend time with my pretty girlfriend so go to school everyday to reach your goals and you’ll find your girl someday.”

“He’s a student?” I asked.

He nodded.

“10th grade student. You want to talk to him?” He offered his phone.

I shook my head along with my hands, I’m not that friendly.

“Come on, baby.” He smiled and pleaded.

Cute.

I smiled and accepted his phone.

“Hello?” I asked.

But seconds later, no one answered.

“Ethan?” I asked again.

But no one’s on the line so I looked at the phone screen and it’s off.

“No one’s on the line?” I asked Grayson and showed him the phone’s screen.

He clicked his tongue and shook his head.

“Oh that boy. He must’ve hung-up. Understand him, he’s a shy boy like me when I was a teenager.”

I gave him his phone back.

“Oh right. I remember, you don’t like others seeing your face. You even wore mask.”

He chuckled.

“But at least I’m good at flirting and making a girl blush.”

I glared at him but he laughed it off and shrugged.

“Should I carry Andra to bed?” He asked for my permission.

I nodded and removed the gloves and apron off him.

“I can’t wait to be your husband. Such a caring wife.” He pinched my cheeks.

“Huh. Like you didn’t said that to your ex.” I murmured and turned my back on him.

He laughed.

“Actually, she was the one handling my social media that time. I usually don’t care about it, only recently that I flexed you.”

“Like I believe you. You said the same phrase on the caption— ‘Mine only’.” The phrase was really vivid in my memory.

“Well I like using that phrase. I often said that to her when we were together.”

I tsk-ed, suddenly feeling a little jealous for no valid reason.

“And. . . I like taking videos and pictures of her that time although I don’t use my social media. She has my phone often when we—”

“Can't you just stop and shut that damn shit mouth of yours?!” I cut him off.

He zipped and shut his mouth.

“Transfer Andra to bed and leave. I’m going to cook dinner for both of us.” I turned my back on him, already annoyed.

With a hard feeling and brows furrowed, I banged the pot on the sink and washed it as if it has a sin to me.

Minutes later, someone hugged me from behind.

“Let go.” I warned.

“Don’t be jealous. Jealousy will only lead to something bad.” He imitated what I said earlier.

“Who said I’m jealous? I’m not jealous.” I grimaced.

Well, I am jealous.

“You are. But you’re cute.” He kissed my left cheek.

“I said I’m not.” I denied what’s obvious.

“You want a punishment? I won’t mind being sleepless if you’re the reason.” He laughed.

My cheeks heated.

“You—”

His phone rang.

Oh. So his phone was not on vibrate mode.

“Yes, Lia?” He loosened his hug.

I turned to him.

“You want me to go there?” He glanced at me.

Why? I know Lia’s a good girl but why does he need to go there?!

“Oh, okay. Actually, I have something to discuss with you.”

I sighed loud and turned my back on him.

“I need to go.” He kissed my temple.

And he left.

I huffed and shrugged it off.

“Andra, dinner’s rea—” I stopped after seeing her in deep and peaceful sleep. Oh right, she was sleeping earlier.

I smiled and sat beside her.

Staring at my beautiful sister, I can’t imagine my life without her. Seven years ago, I thought she would leave me but she fought for me because she doesn’t want me alone.

“I’ll fight for you, Alessia. Don’t you worry. I’m a big and strong girl! Sing me a song after my surgery!” I still remember her smile that day of operation.

I know she was tired. I know she was scared. But she fought for me.

She was the reason why I fought even when I’m physically and emotionally drained during those seven years of working without our father’s sustain.

And I wish until now, she’ll fight to live and survive even when I know how much she’s tired of living a life without purpose.

It was hours. I stared at her for hours.

Until an unfamiliar ringtone rang.

I stood and followed the tone of the ringtone which was towards the side of the bed.

I crouched and leaned in to see the phone under the bed.

There’s an unfamiliar phone so I fetched it and went outside Andra’s room so she won’t be disturb.

Son calling. . .

My forehead knotted.

Son? Who’s phone is this?

Nevertheless, I answered the call and put it on my ears.

“Good evening, dad.” It was Grayson’s voice.

My lips parted out of shock and was about to utter a word but I chose silence when he talked on the line.

“Happy Birthday, dad. You’re 60 right now, right? I wish you’re still healthy.” His voice was drained and somber.

What was his dad’s phone doing here?

“I. . . I know how much you hate me. I know I’m such a terrible son but at least right now, I remember your birthday right? I’m a good son now, dad. Please don’t hate me. Actually, I brought a birthday cake for you. Mocha flavor, your favorite.” He chuckled on the line.

My heart broke after hearing his chuckle. It was like a soun of his cry.

“Lia and I talked. I know she knew it was your birthday today but she acted like she doesn’t know. I know she just wants me to forget what day is today but I couldn’t because I know how much this day is special to you.”

It was a moment of silence.

“Dad, I know you’re tired of this words but I’ll say this again to you. . . I’m sorry. I’m really sorry and I’ll say again the words I didn’t get to say to you. . .” His voice cracked.

I bit my lower lip because of pain. I don’t know why is he like this when I’m not with him. It was like I’m talking to the real Grayson who was broken and lonely on the inside.

“I love you. Please come back home.”

And for the first time. . .

I heard him cry.

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