Chapter 16

She stepped forward but I step backward.

My breathing hitched and along with the excruciating pain, my heart began to be ferocious in a way that I cannot control it.

“Alessia? Are you okay?” Grayson asked worriedly.

I tightly held my chest and beads of sweat starts to make their way on my forehead.

“My daughter. . .”

Someone held my hand and I looked at it and there, I saw mom, looking at me with her beautiful eyes, that familiar eyes.

Shot of gun. Her sobs. His shout. The noise. Everything went back as I look at her eyes.

“Run! He’ll kill you!” I held her cloth tightly. “Run! Faster! Don’t come back! Dad will kill you! He has guns!” I sobbed.

“Alessia. . .”

My feet gave up and even with a trembling body, I leaned against the wall, hugging my knees tightly, sobbing.

“Run! I’ll protect you! Go! Go! Don’t come back!” I begged.

“Mother-fucker asshole! Don’t you dare run!” His voice shouted in my head.

I closed my eyes and covered my ears tightly as I see everything again.

“No! Don’t shoot her! Please!” I begged to Dad and sobbed.

“Alessia. . .” Mom sobbed.

“Alessia, open your eyes. Everything’s just a flashback. Calm down.” Grayson said but that wasn’t enough to convince my thoughts.

I shook my head and cried.

“Dad’s going to kill mom! He’s going to kill her!”

I opened my eyes but everything still lingers. Dad’s voice haunts me once again so I sobbed and held his cloth tightly.

“He’s going to kill her! Mom should run! Protect her! Please! Protect her from dad! He said he’s going to kill her!”

Someone hugged me tightly.

“My daughter. I’m here. I’m safe. Please don’t cry. Please. . .” Her sobs echoed in my ears and I panicked more.

“No! No! Don’t waste your time! Run! Please run!” I pushed her away and sobbed.

“Alessia. . .” My sister cried.

“Grayson! Please! Run! Protect them!” I sobbed and begged him.

He hugged me and rubbed my back.

“I’ll protect you. I’ll protect everyone. Shh. . . Don’t cry, my baby.”

“No! That’s useless! Please! Please! I’m begging! Protect her! I-I can’t protect her. He. . . He already shot her on her hands and legs! He-he said he’ll shoot her on her heart once he finds her!”

“Oh my god.” Rhiana mumbled.

“What’s going on?” Lia’s voice.

I sobbed.

“She has her episode again.” Grayson answered.

I tightened my grip on him.

“No! No! Believe me! He’ll chase her! He. . . He choked me! He said I-I should tell where mom is or he’ll kill me! He’ll kill mom! He has guns!” My voice trembled.

“Do what I taught you. Breathe in.” I followed him. “Breathe out.” Although I have a hard time, I breathe out with a shaking breath.

I saw mom. Crying beside him.

“Mom. . . run.” My voice cracked.

“Do grounding technique. Touch what you can touch and see and describe it.”

“Mom. Please run.” I weakly said.

“Excuse me, Miss. Please be with me. I don’t think it’s good to be here. I’m sorry to say this but you remind her of her past trauma that can trigger her PTSD flashback.” It was Lia.

She sobbed while I continue doing the techniques Grayson taught me.

“She has PTSD?” Her voice trembled.

“Alessia. . .” My sister called.

I hugged him tightly and leaned my forehead on his shoulder after calming down. I don’t want to see their faces. I don’t want to see their judgmental faces. I don’t want to see how much they pity me. I’m ashamed.

He caress my hair and kissed my head.

“You want to go home?”

I nodded instantly.

He carried me in bridal style and I didn’t fight, instead, I buried my face on his chest to hide my ashamed face.

“Babe!”

Every call he gets, he didn’t respond, he hoofed his way until he stopped and lend me down.

I was holding the hem of his polo even when I was already standing. We’re already in front of his car but he still didn’t grab his keys.

“You okay?”

I nodded and hugged him again while he caress my hair.

“I look crazy earlier?” I asked in a low voice, finally calming down.

“No. My baby’s not crazy.” He kissed my head.

Shit, Grayson.

“Alessia!” It was my sister’s voice.

I buried my face deeper on his face, still ashamed. I’m not ready to face her.

“I’m sorry! I have no choice but to call your mom to ask for help! Mom has a heart failure and she needs surgery. I’m sorry for being shameless.” She cried.

My grip on his shirt tightened as I felt another batch of tears forming.

“I don’t think this is the right time to talk about that, Andra. Talk to your sister if she’s fine, okay?” It was Grayson.

“I just wanted to say sorry. I wish you forgive me, Alessia. I’m so sorry.” I could hear the regrets on her voice.

“It’s okay, Andra. Go to your mom. I’ll take care of your sister.”

Her voice trembled when she agreed. I didn’t move, I stayed still even when I wanted to see and hug her but I have no courage left. I’m afraid that I might have another episode once I talk to her and I don’t want her to feel scared during my episode so I chose not to utter any word.

“Will. . . will mom be fine?” I asked in a trembling tone.

“She’ll be fine. I’ll tell all the doctors to take care of her, okay? Don’t worry.” He rubbed my back.

I nodded and stepped backward.

“Let’s go back home.” I uttered and avoided his gaze.

He stared at me for a few seconds before stepping forward to kiss my forehead.

Oh Shit.

“Okay.” He softly said.

Car beeped but I was too stunned to move so he opened the door for me.

“Go in, Miss,” he smiled.

Shit. Not falling in love is hard.

I shook my head and settled myself on the chair, not looking at his eyes who’s staring at me.

Engine started but my eyes were outside, still, trying my best not to look at his direction because I’ll end up falling hard.

The car stopped and I immediately opened the door, not waiting for him, and half-running, I went to the emergency exit stair to step up on my own.

“Alessia!” He shouted but I didn’t mind him.

I should get a hold of myself. It would be embarrassing to know that a mentally ill person likes a doctor like him. I’m too ashamed of myself. They’d probably judge me that I don’t deserve him.

Well, I don’t deserve him, yes. I’m rude and crazy, that’s what people view me as a person based on their eyes and I can’t blame them because that’s what their guts tell them.

That’s natural human nature: to judge with what their naked eyes could see.

Even when they don’t know the back story behind that great facade.

Just like what Justine did.

“Hey. Why—”

I entered my room and locked the door.

You should not fall, Alessia. That would be embarrassing.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.

In the end, I decided to take a shower to wash all my thoughts away.

And brush my teeth.

I’m wearing a white spaghetti strap and white cotton pants. I looked at the mirror and stared at my body for a while before I decided to wear a white thin blazer to cover my breast.

Although, I trust him. Still, he’s a man.

I opened the door and hoofed my way out but he wasn’t in the kitchen or in the living room.

“Grayson!”

I heard a loud clank from above so I looked up to it but my eyes widen after seeing him.

“What?” He worriedly shouted.

I immediately turned my back because of his damn body. Only the towel on his waist was left to cover his body while his hair was dripping wet and looked like he came from shower.

“No-nothing!” I stuttered.

I felt like I blushed and I don’t know why.

Shit that 8 packs abs.

“Oh. I thought something happen. I’ll change.”

I didn’t respond until I heard a door clanked. I let out a sigh of relief but still, my cheeks were hot.

Instead of doing nothing, I decided to prepare the food he had cook. It was a corn soup and it looks delicious.

I heard his footsteps but I didn’t turned to him. I was just sitting on the chair, facing the kitchen and he’s behind me.

“Oh. You waited for me?”

I looked up him. He’s wearing a white turtle neck sweaters and shit, he looks hot with his hair dripping wet.

I avoided his gaze.

“No. I waited for the soup to be cold.” I denied and grabbed the spoon.

I started slurping while he laughed. He settled himself beside me and stared at me so I felt a little uncomfortable.

“My face isn’t the soup.” I uttered, not looking at his direction.

“You’re telling me to look at the soup instead of your face?” He chuckled.

“Maybe.” I shrugged.

“So you’re uncomfortable? You blushed a lot.”

“I did not!” I blushed again.

He chuckled.

“What will I do? I’ll do a treatment that can make you uncomfortable. That’s one of the ways I can help you heal.”

I looked at him with a confused look.

“What kind of treatment?”

He smirked.

“Desensitization.”

I gulped and shifted my attention back to the soup as I felt my ferocious heart, once again, making its way created by my imaginative thoughts.

The last time he said that word, he did a thing.

Using my trembling hand, I slurped the soup from the spoon.

“The. . . the soup is ta-tasty.” I tried to change the topic.

“Really?”

I nodded.

“Ye—”

He grabbed my chin and gave my lips a peck before softly biting my lower lip then he slowly pulled back.

I freeze. My eyes were wide and my lips were parted as if it has something to say but nothing came out.

He licked his lower lip and nodded.

“It is tasty.” He agreed.

I didn’t get to respond.

“But I believe the chef of the soup is tastier.” He said in a frisky tone.

Oh. He’s an expert in flirting.

“Okay, young lady. Slap me.”

So I slapped him. Hard.

“Oh. That was hard. Nevertheless, I’ll keep doing that treatment until you’ll get enough exposure to it. In that way, you won’t get panic if you see couple’s kissing on the street.”

I gulped but didn’t get to utter any word. I trust him so maybe it’s okay.

But still, he’ll get a slap every time he kisses me.

Our breakfast went on like nothing did happen or that’s at least how he acts, like he wasn’t slapped by me or like he didn’t kiss me randomly.

He insisted to wash the plate and I didn’t fight any longer since it’s for my benefit anyways so in the end, I brushed my teeth afterwards and settled myself on the couch to watch something from the television.

“I felt tired.” His voice that was near me.

I looked at him but avoided my gaze instantly when he sat beside me. I was about to ooze sideway but he grabbed my waist and pulled me closer to him.

And like what he did in the hospital, he leaned his head on my shoulder.

Shit, Grayson. You’re making my heart ferocious.

“Later, I’ll visit my grandma.” He uttered.

I didn’t respond since I got nothing to say.

“I wish she still loves me.” His voice was sleepy and raspy.

I sighed. Although I wanted to ask him more about her grandma but I chose not to because he seems tired.

Seconds turns to minutes. . . Long minutes. It’s still quiet.

“Grayson?”

He didn’t answer.

He’s asleep.

Slowly, I removed his head off my shoulder and with a gentle manner, I settled him on the couch.

I hoofed my way inside my room to get the comforter and then hoofed back to him to cover him up with it.

He looks like a baby with his tired face although his face still screams perfection and manly.

I kneeled in front of him and let myself stare at his face while he’s still asleep. His forehead was knotted as if he’s in a dram of nightmare so I patted his arms and hummed a song just like what he always do.

One tear came from his closed eyes that made me stop. He opened his eyes and for a brief moment, I saw pain and sadness on it.

He smiled and even though it seems genuine, his eyes says the otherwise.

“You. . . reminded me of dad. Dad always do that.” He let out a feigned chuckle.

I wiped his tears off.

“Where’s he?” I softly asked.

He didn’t respond, instead, he pulled me closer to him and made me lie on the couch. Now, he’s hugging me from behind, making his right arm as my pillow.

“I don’t know. How am I suppose to know? He left me alone.”

I didn’t respond especially when he made my heart wild after hugging me as tight as I always do.

“I want you to meet grandma. She’s fond of girls. She’ll definitely love you.”

And after minutes of him resting on me, he decided to introduce me to his grandma although I’m not quite sure if she’ll love me.

“Are you not going to change?” He asked after coming down from upstairs.

“Why would I change? You didn’t even change. Waste of time.”

His forehead knotted but he didn’t get to play a role in making my decision so in the end, I just wore what I am wearing.

“Where’s your grandma by the way?” I asked when he’s in the middle of driving.

“Hospital.”

My forehead knotted but I just nodded. Well, maybe she’s living in there because they owned that hospital.

“Wait. Is my clothes okay?” I realized it too late.

He chuckled.

“Don’t worry. You can cover yourself with my white hoodie jacket.”

I sighed out of relieve.

And that’s what he did. He gave me his jacket when we were already in the hospital.

With the way the people who passed by us looked at me, I felt uncomfortable, knowing I’m that person who had an episode earlier this morning.

“Grayson? Grayson!” Lia shouted after seeing us in the hallway.

He was holding my hand the whole time while I was behind him.

“What are you doing here? You should be resting now.” Lia smiled at me after seeing me.

“I’m here to visit, Grandma.”

Her smile faded.

“Grayson. . .” Her voice was worried.

“No, it’s okay, Lia. It has been years since she last saw me. That would be alright, right?”

My forehead knotted out of confusion.

“But—”

“I want to talk to her. I miss talking to her.”

She sighed and nodded.

“Okay. If that’s what you want. Let’s go.” She head her way first.

We just followed her until we stop at one of the doors. The hall was full of doors that are different from usual doors and this door in front of us is the biggest one.

This might be the VIP hall and inside of this door we’re standing in front of, is a luxury room for her grandma.

He loosened his grip on my palms and smile at me.

“I’ll head first.”

I don’t understand why he’s like that so I looked at Lia who gave me a faint smile and nodded at me.

He head first and I followed from behind. And like what I expected, it was a luxury room. There’s even a city view window where you can see the whole city of Manhattan here in New York.

“Sir.” The girl-nurse was shock.

I saw an old woman, sitting on the bed while her nurse was peeling an apple using a knife.

They both didn’t notice my presence because their attention was on him when he head his way towards his Grandma.

“Grayson?” The grandma asked, shock.

“I miss you.” He said in low and soft tone.

She didn’t respond even when he slowly hugged her in a soft and firm manner. She was just sitting, not hugging him back.

“Grand—”

I looked at Lia beside me, still confused.

“Grayson!” She shouted.

I looked back and my eyes widen after seeing the knife on his right shoulder and her Grandma was the one holding it.

“No!”

But my shout was too late because she stabs him again.

“You’re a murderer!” The grandma cried.

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