Chapter 15

No! This can’t be! He has a girlfriend! Shit.

He opened the door for me but I was too stunned by what my mind just thought of.

“Ale—”

“Grayson!” A girl’s voice.

Lia.

“Hey!” She greeted when she’s already in front of him.

I saw her other colleagues hoofing their way here which made me feel once again, like an outcast.

They all have professions. . . while I don’t.

I envy them.

“Wassup! To the future C.E.O of our hospital!” His male friend greeted.

“Lia! I envy you for having such a good looking ‘friend’ what you say.” The girl squealed.

I bit my lower lip and played with my fingers.

Grayson turned to me so I straightened my back but his eyes went down on my fingers that was subconsciously playing.

“Oh! Who’s this beautiful girl?” It was the guy who noticed my presence first.

“Alessia?” Lia asked, shock.

“Oh. . . you have a girlfriend?” It was the girl who squealed earlier.

“Uhm. . . My patie— I mean, my friend.”

Patient. Yeah. I’m just his mere patient who’s mentally ill.

I bit my lower lip and played with my fingers once again.

“Let’s go.” He lend me his hand.

As much as I don’t want to hold it, I need to because I’m the one who requested this. I shouldn’t be rude.

I untie the jacket that was on my waist and handed it to him so his forehead knotted.

“Wear it.”

I shook my head.

“It’s hot.”

He stared at me but I just avoided his gaze and looked around the parking lot, my alibi.

Lia coughed.

“From what I know, you’re not like that to your ex, Mr. Grayson. You let her wear what she wants but why can’t you let Alessia?”

“I let her, Lia.”

“Oh right! You’re not that red flag guy anymore, right?” She laughed.

“Wait! Are you both ex-lovers?!” The girl exasperatedly gasp.

Lia let out a loud laugh as if she cannot believe what she just heard.

“I’m going.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me out of his friends' stare.

I let him pull me. Everyone greets and respects him even when he’s just an intern maybe because of his family background that’s why he got that amount of respect from others and then after greeting him, they’ll look at me so I’ll just avoid their gazes.

They probably know I have mental illness. They probably think I’m ugly. They probably think I’m weak.

“Stop overthinking. They’re looking at you because you’re beautiful.”

Shit. He’s making me fall harder.

He stopped in front of the elevator and pressed a bottom. He must’ve forgot that I have a phobia for elevator so I just bowed since I don’t want to see how the elevator opens or close or what’s inside it because it reminded me of the incident.

The door of the elevator ting.

My grip on his hand tightened when he entered it while I closed my eyes, trying my best to be composed.

“Are you oka— oh! Right.”

He sighed.

I know he’s tired.

“No. Uhm. I’ll take the stair. You can take the elevator.”

“You don’t know which floor.”

“Just tell me and then I’ll ask them.”

He shook his head and pulled me out of there. For another reason, I felt embarrass and a burden. I shouldn't have told him to take me here.

“Why are you taking the stairs? There’s an elevator?” His guy friend asked, they must've followed us.

Grayson stopped to turned to them.

“Just let them.” It was Lia.

The woman-friend flicked and pointed me her fingers as if she discovered somethimg.

“She has a trauma?” She guessed.

I bit my lower lip.

I felt a little uncomfortable, knowing they know my illness so I bowed my head down, not wanting them to see my eyes.

His grip tightened on my hand.

“Go on your way. We’ll take the long cut.”

“What will you do in the middle of walking in that closed area?” Lia teased, wanting the atmosphere to be better.

“Probably something. So don’t follow us.” Grayson said in a frisky tone.

I know he’s trying not to make the atmosphere awkward.

“Oh. Will you let her stay in your on-call room?” The woman-friend asked.

“Yeah. . . We’ll go.”

We turned their back on them and hoofed our way when the guy doctor laughed.

“Just remember to be quite if ever something arousing pop!”

“What the fuck?! Jason! You’re a pervert!” The same woman-friend shouted.

“Probably he did that a lot during his break.” Lia assumed and laughed.

“I’ll be back, baby!” Grayson laughed.

“What? I’m confused!” The girl shouted.

I bit my lower lip and wanted to play with my fingers but he was holding my hands.

We entered the emergency exit door and like what he always do, he positioned himself in front of me.

“I can walk. You don’t have to do this.” I avoided his gaze.

You’re just going to give me false hope.

He sighed and nodded. He was about to grab my hand when I hid it from behind.

“Lead the way. I can follow. You don’t have to hold my hand.” I avoided his gaze.

He stared at me for a few seconds but I didn’t stare back. Behind me, I was playing with my fingers.

“Okay,” he turned his back on me.

I was silent the whole time I’m following his footsteps until we reached to one door. He entered his card and opened the door for me so I went inside while he turned on the light.

It was a small but peaceful room. There’s one twin size bedroom and beside it was a lampshade. On the other side, there’s a desk with a computer and telephone on it partnered with a chair. Other than that, it’s not suffocating and everything’s just white.

“I don’t know if I can visit you anytime since I’m going to be busy.” He said and closed the door.

I nodded and settled myself at the corner, beside the desk. With bended knees, I hugged it tightly and yawned.

He sighed and kneeled in front of me to cover my legs with the jacket then he stood up so I leaned my head against the wall and closed my eyes.

I thought he was going to leave but seconds later, I felt a comforter covering my body.

Shit. Stop getting fluttered, Alessia. This is normal. He’s like this.

But. . .

He kissed my forehead.

“Good night, my baby.” He whispered but I heard him.

Inside the comforter, I was clenching my fist to stop myself from doing and asking stupid things until the door clanked.

With a fast beating, I opened my eyes and for a few minutes, I stared at nothingness.

Shit. Is that normal? Shit. Shit. Shit. I shouldn’t fall for him.

Along with my misty thoughts that soon becomes tired was my eyes that shut and everything went black.

“Grayson.” I heard a girl’s whisper.

My consciousness woke but my eyes didn’t even when my ears were attentive.

“What? Let me sleep. I’m tired.” He groaned.

“Can I sleep here?”

“You can go home, Herra. It’s your off.” He lazily said.

Herra? I know someone with the same name.

“Come on. Are you free tonight?” She asked with an enticing voice.

I’m hiding at the corner with a desk that hid me so she probably didn’t see me because the door is on my side.

He sighed.

“I have a girlfriend.”

She giggled.

“You broke up with Rhiana months ago, remember?”

“It’s not her.”

Her giggle faded.

“Who? Lia?”

“No. She’s in front of me so please, get out.”

My heart started to thump loudly against my chest.

He’s not referring to me, right?

“Someone’s here?” I heard the door opened widely with her footsteps. “Oh. . . The girl earlier is your girlfriend?”

“Soon. So kindly please get out and don’t bother me, lady. Find another man.”

“But. But why did you help me earlier! I thought you like me!”

“Shh. . .” He tiredly said. “Why do women hates pervert men but mistook them when they’re being gentlemen? I don’t get it.” He asked himself, annoyed.

“So you’re saying that’s just your personality? That you really don’t like me?”

“Yes. Women should be taken care of. That’s at least what my grandma said so, so don’t mistook my doings. I don’t want to be rude around girls.”

She scoffed and afterwards, I heard a loud bang that made me shriek out of shock.

He chuckled.

“You’re awake?”

My heart skipped a bit after seeing him in front of me sitting, head’s against the wall, one bended knee with right hand on it and a smirk plastered on his face.

Shit that smirk.

I avoided his gaze.

“Are you done?” I asked, eyes till on the wall.

“Yeah.” He yawned. “It was a long and tiring shift.”

I nodded. Unable to utter any word.

It was a moment of silent.

“Alessia. . .” He called in a raspy voice.

I gulped.

“What?”

“Come here.”

I shifted my gaze to him so I saw his face etched with tiredness, eyes were close while his head is tilted upward. His hands were patting the space beside him, giving me a sign to sit beside him.

“What?” I asked again.

“Come here. I’m tired.” He pat the floor once again.

I stood up and went beside him, not close though so I don’t know if he knew that I was close.

I shriek when he held my waist to pull me closer to him. The thump of my heart was deafening and it was impossible for him not to hear it with the hushed room.

He chuckled and leaned his head on my shoulder so I freeze, unable to move or utter any word.

“This is a better resting place than bed.” He lowly commented.

I gulped.

He shoved his hand inside his pocket and grabbed my hand to hand me the Goya chocolate.

“Eat for now. We’ll have breakfast later. I want to rest a bit here.”

I didn’t respond, instead, I opened the wrapper to eat my favorite chocolate. It was long when his breathing became slow, he really did sleep on my shoulder.

My chocolate’s done but he’s still asleep. Unconsciously, I grabbed his hand and played with it since I have nothing to do. I tried to see how big his hands are compared to mine by kissing both our palms and I was shock by how small my palm’s are compared to him, or his fingers are just long.

What a manly hands.

I didn’t get to move when he interlocked our fingers together and massaged my thumb with his thumb.

“You're. . . a-awake?” I stuttered due to unknown nervousness.

He lowly chuckled.

“Cute,” he mumbled.

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Is this considered gentleman? Is this normal?

“Hey, Gray—” Lia who suddenly opened the door.

I unconsciously stood, with a thumbing heart, I gulped and went near the corner of the desk to get the comforter and jacket, not minding Lia’s face.

“You should’ve knocked, Lia.” He frustratingly said.

She laughed.

“Same old, clingy Grayson. Okay, okay. I’ll talk to you later. Bye, baby.” She teased.

Door shut.

Now, we’re once again left alone.

He let out a loud sigh while I folded the comforter.

“Wear your jacket.”

I didn’t respond and hoofed my way to the twin size bed to put the comforter back when I felt a cloth behind me.

He hooked both of my arms and made me face him to cover me up with his jacket.

I didn’t know where did I get the guts to stare at his face while he was busy covering me with his jacket.

“Your eyes. . . I’ve seen that before. I just don’t remember where and when.” I unconsciously said.

His eyes shifted to mine.

“Really? Try to remember it then. If that person is really important to you then you’ll recognize it instantly.” He said meaningfully.

“That don’t happen at instant. A lot of events happen in my life so remembering people’s face or name is kind of hard although there are certain people I can remember at instant even when years had past.” I said.

Like mom.

“Oh. It means I’m not important to you then?” He chuckled.

My forehead knotted.

“Where did I see you?”

He shrugged and grabbed my hand to pull me out. We went outside and just like what happened yesterday, they greeted him. We were passing by the rooms when he stop.

I looked at his gaze and was shock after seeing mom and Andra.

Mom was pale and looked ill.

“Alessia. . .” My sister uttered after our eyes met.

I bit my lower lip.

She hoofed forward while I stayed here on the hall, waiting for her to come closer.

Grayson, on the other hand, loosened his hand to give us privacy. He nodded at my sister and went in front of mom to talk to her.

“A-Andra. . . I-I don’t want to go home because I’m ashamed. I-I wanted to heal first before—”

She hugged me, cutting off the explanation I have in mind.

“I’m not mad. I’m worried. I know you don’t want me to see how much you suffer because that’s what you’ve been doing for the past years. Stifle sobs. . . I heard them. Always. Every night.” She said softly.

I bit my lower lip and tried my best not to get emotional.

“I-I didn’t mean to. I don’t want you to hear—”

“I love you, Alessia. Please heal faster. I miss you.” Her grip on me tightened.

“I-I. . .” miss you too.

She loosened her hug and faced me with a smile and bloodshot eyes.

“What happen?” I asked.

She bit her lips and shook her head.

“Nothing. . . I just miss you.” Her voice trembled.

I know she’s lying.

“Tell me what happen.” I insisted.

She hugged me tightly and sobbed.

“Wha—”

“Grayson!” I saw Rhiana running towards his direction.

She immediately wrapped her hands around his hands and kissed his cheeks even when he avoided his face.

“What are you doing here?” He asked in a cold tone.

He gave my mom an apologetic face but she just smiled at him and head her way towards us.

“Of course! I’m here for you, babe!”

“Rhiana. Stop.” He glanced at me so I avoided their direction.

“Andra, let’s go.” Mom  looked at me but avoided my gaze immediately. “Sorry for the burden.”

Andra loosened her hug on me and bit her lower lip so I caress her hair.

“Please heal faster. I have a lot to say to you. A story that has happened. We always did that every night right? I miss you.” Andra  smiled.

I nodded.

“I’ll heal so you won’t be embarrass of your sis—”

“I’m not embarrass! I’ll be proud if you’ll heal! So heal faster!”

I gave her my feigned smile and nodded.

“Andra. Let’s go.”

I looked at mom who can’t look at my eyes.

“Mom. . .” I called.

“We’ll go.”

She grabbed Andra’s hand and pulled her out of my way.

“Mo—”

“Here she is!” Voice of Grayson’s ex.

My eyes shifted on their direction and accidentally, it went on a familiar figure of a person.

I paled as I felt the burning of my eyes, extracting the pain from my heart through my eyes producing a huge amount of teardrops.

The person whom I was looking to stopped walking when our eyes met. A throbbing pain pinched my heart as I look at those familiar eyes etched with pain, sadness, and yearning.

“Alessia. . .” She softly call as tears began to pool her cheeks.

Mom. . .

My real mom by blood is standing in front of my naked eyes that has left a huge mark on my defective thoughts.

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