Chapter 14

“Alessia? Are you listening? Are you okay?” It was his voice.

I opened my eyes but I could still hear it. Everything still haunts me even when I’m looking at his blue worried eyes.

“Are you okay?”

I shook my head consecutive times and sobbed.

“He shot the gun! He already shot the gun!” I cried.

He caress my hair but I’m still panicking and crying. Thinking if my mom was okay.

“Shh. . . It’s okay. I’m right here.”

“No! Mom’s not okay! She has a bullet in her body! She has bullets!” I shouted, begging him to believe me.

“I’m a doctor, okay? I can treat your mom.”

“She. . . she loathed me! She loathed me because I couldn’t protect her! I’m selfish! I’m useless! I’m a bad person!”

He hugged me tightly while I sobbed.

“It’s okay, my baby. You’re not a bad person. You’re a hero for surviving, okay?” He then rubbed my back.

“Everyone loves hero but why don’t mom?” I slowly mumbled.

“She loves you, okay? You’re a lovable person. Always remember that.”

“But she left me. She left me because she hates me.”

He sighed and loosened his hug to see my face. And then he kissed my forehead.

“Then learn to love the person who loves you not the person who hates you. I’m right here, my baby.”

I sobbed and hugged him tightly once again as he caress my hair.

I’m sick of being emotional. When will this end?

“Babe. . .”

“Rhiana, leave.”

“I did not do anything wrong!”

“Just leave.”

“No.”

He sighed and loosened his hug on me to face me while I bowed my head. I forgot that someone’s here. I felt embarrass.

“Are you okay?” He softly asked.

I nodded.

He tucked the strands of my hair behind my ear and lifted my chin.

“I-I’m. . .” sorry for being a burden.

“That’s good. Let’s eat.” Then he stood up, holding my hands.

I bit my lower lip when he prepared a chair for me. I sat on it and looked at my fingers, still not ready to see how her face will judge me as a person.

“Crazy.” I heard her whisper.

Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry, Alessia. You’re being too much.

“She’s really crazy and weird.” As much as I don’t want to hear it, feels like she’s intentionally doing that.

I know. You don’t have to say it. I know I’m not normal and shit. It hurts.

At my peripheral vision, I saw him giving me a bowl in front of me but I didn’t lift my head because I’m too ashamed of myself.

“Alessia?” He softly called.

A tear once again fell.

I feel like I don’t belong in this table. I’m not normal and I feel like I don’t deserve to be with normal people like them. I feel like an outcast.

He sat beside me and lifted my chin.

“Are you okay, my baby?”

My vision become blurry and tears began to cascade the thoughts of falling in to the abyss of my despair hole.

But seems like he’s ready to dive in to that depth just so he could save me from being drowned into that hopeless pit.

“Everything’s going to be alright. I’ll protect you. Trust me.” He then wiped my tears away.

“I-I’m not normal. . .”

“You are not because you’re unique. And that’s what makes you beautiful.”

I bit my lower lip and nodded.

“Now, eat.” He then caress my hair.

I grab the hem of his shirt using my left hand incase the memories once again flash back, then I know I’ll be safe since I’m holding my safe haven.

I use my right hand to slurp the soup, not letting go of him, while he’s just watching me.

“Babe. I told you, I don’t like sinigang. I like your beef steak recipe more.”

“I didn’t tell you to eat, Rhiana. You can go and find a restaurant yourself.”

She sighed frustratingly and I’m sure she’s giving me a glare right now.

“Just you wait. I’ll make you drool over me once again.”

“I never did drool over you.” He corrected.

I bit my lower lip to stifle a laugh.

“You’re smiling?!” She probably noticed my expression.

“Cute,” he whispered.

Shit.

I blushed.

She groaned.

“I hate you!” Then, with a stamping walk, she left.

The silence enveloped the surrounding. Only the sound of my slurp and the beating of my heart left a mark in the soundless ambiance between both of us.

“My grandma taught me how to cook that recipe. Feel like you’ll click with her.” He cracked the escalating crickets.

I just nodded, unable to say any word.

“She’s my first woman. The first woman whom I love until now. My first love.”

“Where’s she?”

He sighed.

“I hope she’s fine seeing me again.”

It became quite once again.

“Uhm. . . Lia said that you’re a model? Are you not going to your agency?” He changed the subject.

“I’m expecting that I’m fired. You see, my ex is the owner of that agency.”

“Oh. . . what a waste. They wasted you.” He said, I unconsciously smile.

“I still have money left to pay you for being my doctor. I’ll find another job once I’ll make sure that I’m healed.”

He coughed.

“You can leave a normal life. In fact, interacting with others might actually help you heal with a thought of being back to your usual self. Isolating won’t help you.”

I bit my lower lip and bowed down.

“What if my episode happen and you’re not there? How will I survive?”

I hate to gainsaid it and the fact that I’m slowly being dependent on him might burden him and his work.

“I’ll help you.”

I played with my fingers.

“Don’t you have any work? Will you leave me once I sleep?”

“I’ll take the night shift tonight. For now, I’ll help you with the things that you should do when your episode occur.”

I nodded and for some reason, I felt sad that he’s going to leave me.

I continued eating while he continued watching me so I looked at him.

“Is there not enough soup or bowl? I think there’s a lot of spoon and fork for you to use.” I avoided his gaze.

He chuckled.

“Are you metaphorically telling me to eat?”

I didn’t respond so he just stood up and I’m sure he’s going to eat like what I said.

Our day went on with him teaching me with things that could help me. He taught me how to do proper breathing and progressive muscle relaxation. And then after that, he taught me grounding techniques just like what he did to calm me down.

Even though I know that I learned a lot from him, still, I’m not ready.

“You’re going to leave?” I asked after seeing him with his blue long sleeve polo and black slacks.

“You’re still awake? I thought you’re already asleep.” He then looked at his Rolex watch. “It’s already 10 pm.”

I pretended to be asleep.

“When will you come back?” I asked, suddenly being anxious.

“My shift starts at 11 pm so basically around 7 am.”

I didn’t respond, instead, I played with my fingers.

He walked near me and grabbed my hand.

“You should sleep. Let’s go, I’ll make you sleep.” Then he pulled me.

Just like yesterday, he settled himself near the cabinet and I settled myself beside him with bended knees, I hugged it tightly.

He gently grabbed my head and leaned it on his shoulder then he wrapped his hands around my shoulder to pat my arms.

“Sleep, Alessia.” He softly mumbled.

I closed my eyes and grip the hem of his polo.

He hummed once again which gave me comfort.

As much as I wanted to be awake, his doting arms dozed my raging demons down.

My consciousness slapped me when I felt him slowly removing my head off his shoulder to make it settle against the side of the cabinet. My grip on his hem remained so he removed it and then sighed.

Seconds later, he covered my body with a soft comforter.

Then, he kissed my forehead and caress my hair.

“Good night.” He uttered softly.

I felt him stood so slowly, I unlocked my eyes. I saw him, making his way out.

“Grayson. . .”

He stopped walking and turned to me.

I bit my lower lip and played with my fingers.

“Can I. . .” I paused and catch a breath. “Can I see the hospital your grandparents owned?” I trailed off and avoided his gaze.

He didn’t respond so my gaze went down to my fingers.

He heaved a sigh and went near me so I bit my lip after seeing his face etched with bewildered look.

“Am I being a burden? I didn’t mean to. . .” I said in a low voice.

“It’s dangerous there. You can’t have enough sleep if you stay in the hospital.”

I shook my head.

“It won’t be dangerous as long as you’re there. I feel safe around you.” I insisted.

“But I can’t be around you. I have to do my work.”

I bit my lower lip tightly and nodded then bowed down.

“Okay. . .” I faintly said.

He didn’t respond. It was a long silence, he just stared at my face and I did nothing but to play with my fingers with a melancholy feeling.

Grayson let out a deep sigh.

“Okay. You’ll go with me.”

My eyes glistened in happiness for unknown reason when I looked up to him.

“Really? Can I?”

He stared at my face for a long time.

“Yeah. . . you should change. I’ll wait outside.” It was long before he uttered those words.

I nodded at instant and gave him my unfeigned smile. He bit his lower lip and smiled too before standing up to hoof his way out.

When he closed the door I immediately stood up to find a cloth that will soothe me.

I took a quick shower and decided to wear a go ribbed crop black and denim short maong. I’m just going to sleep there so I think this is okay.

When I hoofed out, I saw him sitting on the sofa, lying his head on the couch head and taking a quick nap.

I bit my lower lip and went near him. His face seems tired and I felt guilty because I know I’m the reason behind it. He should’ve slept since he has a night shift duty but he chose to be awake and teach me the things that I needed.

“Grayson. . .”

He unlocked his eyes and straightened his back. His forehead knotted after observing my chosen outfit.

“Uhm. . . you don’t want to wear jeans or something that is not sleeveless?”

I shook my head.

He sighed and nodded, then he stood up.

“Okay. Just wait. I’ll go get something upstairs.”

I nodded so he hoofed his way up. I waited for a couple of minutes when I finally saw him carrying a beige hoodie jacket.

“Did you bring your phone?” He asked when he’s in front of me.

I nodded so he nodded too and grabbed my hand to walk outside. We were quiet until we went to the emergency exit stair.

“I can walk.” I immediately said.

He chuckled.

“I know. You have feet.”

I freeze when he went near me to wrap the beige jacket around my waste. He was a meter away and we were so close, almost losing my breath, I’m thankful that he successfully tied it in just a couple of seconds.

With his back in front of me, he kneeled and I know what he means.

“I can—”

“I’ll carry you. We’re in the ninth floor, Alessia. It would be best if you take a nap while I’m carrying you. Besides, it’s already mid 10 pm. By now, you should be sleeping.”

I bit my lower lip but didn’t fought any longer, I followed what he said, I let him carry me, he’s not even holding my legs because he’s making the jacket a way for him not to touch my legs.

Unconsciously, my jaw rested on his shoulder due to tiredness but I didn’t let myself sleep. Now, our face is just meters away from each other but I didn’t feel uncomfortable. I guess in a short period of time, he gained my trust.

“You could’ve taken the elevator. I know you’re tired.” I mumbled.

“It’s okay. It’s dangerous when you’re alone here.”

“You’re too good. I’m afraid you might change.” I can’t help but to say that.

He sighed but he didn’t said a thing.

I wish you wouldn’t change. I wish you won’t get tired of me.

He was panting when we reached the ground floor. There were only few people since it’s 10 already. My jaw dropped after seeing him stopping in front of a Bugatti Veyron white car.

“Is this your car?” I asked when he landed me down.

He chuckled and shoved his hands inside his pocket and there I saw a key. He pressed it and the car lit.

He opened the door.

“Head your way in, Miss.”

Shit. He’s expensive.

I bit my lower lip and head inside it. He closed the door and then went to the driver’s seat. Still, speechless and stunned, I wasn’t able to speak even when the car engine started.

“You. . . you could buy a penthouse or whatsoever. Why did you choose to stay in a condo unit?” I can’t help but ask.

“Because of Lia.” He simply said.

I nodded and looked at the window. I don’t know why I felt a slight pinch in my heart because of what he said.

He must’ve like her a lot.

It was quiet when his phone rang. I didn’t turn my head to him even when he answered the phone.

“Oh yes, baby?” He asked.

She chuckled on the line. By that voice, I know it’s Lia.

I played with my fingers while my eyes were on the road even when my ears were on him.

“Mr. Grayson. It’s your night shift right now. You remember it right?”

He sighed.

“Of course, baby.”

“Hmm. . . your voice seems tired. What’s the matter? You shouldn’t be tired and sleepy during your shift.”

“Oh. Is my baby concern?” He then chuckled.

I bit my lower lip tightly because of the unknown pain.

Right. It’s normal. He’s like that. That’s just his personality. I mean why would I expect something right?

“Of course! I’m concern! I’m your baby right?” She laughed. “What are you doing this morning? Let’s have a date.”

He paused for a while, while I continue playing with my fingers, waiting for his answer.

“I’m sorry but I’m busy.” His tone become serious.

“Yeah. I think my baby should rest too. You can sleep in my condo like what you always do!” She happily said.

Shit. He shouldn’t have turned the speaker on.

“Nah. . . it’s not always.” He trailed off.

“What’s with the sudden change of tone?”

He didn’t respond for a long time.

“Mr. Grayson?”

“Yes?”

“Oh. Your voice seems really tired. You want me to come over to your room later?”

“No!” He instantly rejected.

“Ouch! You don’t want your baby to come to your room? Why? Are you hiding something?”

I heard loud shouts and tease from her line.

“Is that your boyfriend, Lia?” The guy from the line asked.

She chuckled.

“Mr. Grayson Alonzo is on the line.”

“Oh! Him again? You always call him as well as he is! Are you two dating?” The girl from the line squeal.

Shit. Maybe they are. That’s why he’s helping me for the sake of Lia.

“Mr. Grayson, you’re on speaker mode. Can you answer that in behalf of me?” She teasingly asked.

“I’m heading there, baby— I mean bye.” Then he coughed.

“Baby! Confirm!” The girl on the line squeal again.

“I’m hanging up. Bye.”  He instantly said and the line become quiet.

It was silent. I continued watching from the window while my fingers kept on playing with themselves.

“Hey. . .” He called.

I leaned against the window and closed my eyes, pretending I was asleep even though I know he knew that I’m awake.

I heard him gulped.

“You asleep?”

I didn’t respond even when my fingers kept on playing on their own.

He become quiet until the car stopped. I opened my eyes and saw that we’re already on the hospital’s parking lot. I was about to unbuckle my seatbelt when he did it on behalf of me.

My heart skipped a bit but it was only seconds when he eventually stayed away from me.

“Put your jacket on,” then he went out.

Shit. I don’t think this is getting better.

I think. . . I was jealous.

And I feel like. . .

I like him already.

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