Chapter 12

Shit. This isn't good.

I pushed him off me and he instantly got off on top of me. He was just sitting on the ground with one knee bend and the other was lying on the floor acting as if he didn't do anything to me.

I immediately got up and stood. And then. . .

I slapped him. Really hard.

There are no privilege or exemption with men who can touch or kiss me without my permission. . . even with who they are, what they did, and how good he is.

And without any word, I left him there. My knees were trembling whilst my heart was proudly beating as fast as it can as if it was in a race to compete.

I stopped in front of his unit. I tried to open the door but it was locked. With the digits that my mind negligibly remembered, I entered it but it wasn't right.

Should I still stay after what I did?

But that was common! A man shouldn't kiss a woman without permission or any commitment! He would understand it right?

I shook my head and tried to enter another digit but it just wouldn't match.

Shit. I forgot the password. What was it again?

I freeze and held my breath for a long time when I felt his presence behind me. I was about to get out when he pinned his left hand on the wall along with his right hand that held the digital passcode to enter the passcode.

He was so close; I can feel his body kissing my back so I fought the urge to swallow since there is a huge possibility of him hearing it.

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. What is this kind of feeling?

"45736." He uttered and then the door unlocked.

I nodded and was about to step when he locked it once again.

"Type it." He commanded.

Oh shit. I didn't get to focus!

I didn't move nor did I utter any word. All I did was to stand and do nothing but to curse myself at the back of my mind.

He chuckled at my stiffened body and then grabbed my cold hands, probably because of his presence. Slowly he used my finger to type the passcode.

"Just," he said and then entered the first digit. "Smile. . . Alessia. . . Mae. . . Robins," then the door unlocked.

I immediately went inside and didn't even process the words he just uttered because almost, I was out of breath.

I stopped after seeing the familiar figure of a woman.

"Lia!" Grayson happily shouted.

She turned to us and then for a minute, she was shock after seeing me but it wasn't long because it shifted into a smile. Grayson then ran towards her and wrapped his hands around her shoulder.

"How are you, my baby?" He then kissed her forehead.

She chuckled and spanked his stomach.

"I'm older than you!"

"Still, my baby."

I mentally grimace.

Cringe ass.

My forehead knotted when he leaned closer to her in order to whisper something on her ears and she intently listened to it.

She let out a shock gasp.

"Really?"

"Let's talk more in my room." He chuckled.

"Okay! Head the way Mr. Grayson."

Then they both turned their back on me as if I was a ghost to them.

Or as if they didn't care about my presence because they were too busy with their own worlds.

She even giggled while he continued his whisper on her ears. They were both on the stair, stepping forward to his room.

So. . . upstairs where his room? That's why he didn't want me in there?

I was for a moment, staring at both of them until he turned his gaze in my direction so I panicked but that wasn't a long stare because their figurine immediately vanished in my sight.

What did just happen? I'm confused.

I sighed before hoofing my way out of his unit. I realized that I shouldn't be there because there's a huge possibility, I'll hear some uncomfortable noises. It was such a relief that the pool wasn't crowded so I decided to sit on the floor and dip my two feet on the pool.

I realized that it was really tiring taking the stairs especially if you're from the ninth floor because I felt tired and drained.

Or I just felt empty for no reason.

It's not possible that he has a girlfriend, right?

I mean. . . why did he kiss me when he's in a relationship?!

"What are you thinking?" A voice that made me shriek out of shock.

Ohh. . . it's the rooftop man.

He shamelessly sat beside me so I ooze a little because he was too close.

"None of your business." I spoke.

He laughed.

"You know what, nothing's change. You're still the old brat."

With a confused look, I turned to him.

"You know me?"

He smiled.

"Of course! I'm your childhood best friend, silly."

My jaw dropped.

"White?" I asked, still unsure, but a little sure. There was only few people who became my childhood best friend and one of it is White!

He laughed and was about to utter any word when I abruptly hugged him tightly.

"Oh shit, White! I've been looking for you!" I spanked his back.

"You've been looking and yet you didn't recognize me, huh?" He asked in a jokingly manner.

I loosened my hug and spank his arms hardly so he gave me a grimace look.

"How will I recognize you when you grew so bad?!"

He laughed and splashed me some water.

"I recognized you though."

I bit my lower lip.

"Remember what you said when we were at the pond?"

His forehead knotted.

"Huh?" He asked, confused.

"You said you'll sing me a song once we meet again!"

"Wha—"

"Alessia!" It was the brother of the man I'm talking to right now who called me.

"Wassup, Grayson." White greeted.

"I assumed your real name is Whiteson?" I joked at White.

He laughed. "Silly. My name is Aiden."

"Ohh right! I remember. Weird. . . that's far from your nickname."

"What are you doing here? I was looking for you." Grayson interrupted.

I avoided his gaze and shifted it to the pool.

"Chilling'" I coldly said, I don't even know why it naturally became cold.

"Ohh. . . What about you?" He's probably talking to White.

"No reason." He answered and splashed the water using his feet.

I copied him.

"Alessia, let's go." Grayson frigidly said.

"Why would I? I want to stay here with him." I then rolled my eyes.

"What took you so long?" Lia's voice.

"She's being stubborn." He said.

"I'm not. You can go alone, you know." I then once again, rolled my eyes.

She laughed.

"Come on, Grayson. Leave them alone. Let's have a date."

I frowned.

"But—"

"Leave, brother. Go on." White teasingly said.

"Don't you dare." He warned.

"What?" White laughingly asked.

"Grayson! Let's go!" She laughed.

"Take care of your baby, Lia." White teased.

"She lives with me, don't you dare!" He shouted, based on his voice, he's already far from us.

It was long when it became quiet. I assume, they already left.

"What's your relationship with my brother?" The man beside me asked.

"He's my doctor and I'm his patient. . . that's all I know." I shrugged.

"Wow. A doctor and patient who lives together? Is there such a thing?" He laughed.

"Maybe he can't confine me in the hospital so he chose to confine me there. I don't know. All he said is that he's going to help me open up about my trauma for the sake of Lia who's my psychiatrist. And because it's for my own benefit, I agreed."

At my peripheral vision, I saw him nod.

"Don't you have any family?"

My forehead knotted when I turned my head at him.

"That's weird. You're the reason why I was able to love Andra despite of my hate towards her father and mother."

He was shocked.

"Me? I was the reason?"

"Yes. You. White." I pointed my finger at him.

"Well, I'm kind of forgetful but I still remember the fact you had a crush on me."

I avoided his gaze.

"Well, little Aiden was kinda cute and handsome." I admitted.

"What about now?"

I didn't respond.

Well, he's still is handsome. . . like his brother. And looks like, it runs on their blood.

It was quiet when his phone rang. I turned to him when he answered the phone.

"Wha—" he instantly removed his phone on his ears and cleaned his ears as if he just heard a loud noise from the phone.

And I was shocked when he handed me his phone. With a confuse look, I accepted the phone and he just gave me a sign to put it on my ears.

So, I put it.

"Are you listening?! You're flirting with her—" I removed it on my ears because his shout was too loud.

I didn't know Grayson could have this ear-piercing bawl.

"Say something." He said with no voice.

I gulped and nodded before slowly making his phone a way on my ears.

"Why aren't you answering?! Are you real—"

"Grayson?"

The line became quiet for a while. I looked at it to see if he ended the call but it still is going so, I put it back on my ears.

It was really quiet so I looked at Aiden who was currently holding his laughter.

"Hello?" I asked.

It was quite for a while.

"Alessia? Is that you?" His voice was shock.

I heard Lia's laugh from the line.

"Yeah. . ." I answered, a little awkward.

"Oh. . . are you heading home?"

I bit my lower lip.

Home?

"I mean. . . to the unit?" He changed, maybe he realized it.

"Maybe. . ." I looked down on the pool.

"Okay, I'll head now. I'll cook something. What do you want?"

I swallowed hard.

"I don't know. Maybe. . . hot soup." I trailed off.

It was quite again so I bit my lower lip.

But then he chuckled.

"Okay, Miss oh— yeah. . . at your service!" He enthusiastically shouted.

I unconsciously laughed.

"Okay, bye." For a moment, I wasn't able to recognize the sweetness of my tone.

Shit. My tone was cold just a moment ago!

"Is that you Alessia Mae Robins?" Grayson teased.

I blushed but I didn't respond.

My feet spontaneously moved on its own, splashing the water as if it went wild for a second whilst with my pounding heart.

I ended the call and instantly gave it back to the owner.

"You're blushing." He pointed out.

"I'm not!" I avoided his gaze.

I immediately stood up to leave and rudely turned my back on him but one step made me stop after seeing the man whom I just talked to a while ago.

His phone was still on his ears while his other hand was inside his pocket. He was looking at me intently, biting his lower lip to stifle a smile.

Shit. What's with that smile?!

I stiffened but he moved forward. Every step feels like a jab on my heart and I don't know why it seems like every one around me felt like an illusion and he was the only one that felt real as my eyes could only see him even in the midst of darkness who successfully ruled the above, his eyes say the otherwise as if it was there to bring light in my world of nightfall.

My heart stopped for a minute when he was already few feet away from my distance, until he stopped in front of me.

"So, this is the girl who rudely ended the call? Blushing? If I weren't here, I'd assumed that you're irritated."

I avoided his gaze.

Shit. I don't understand this feeling.

"I'm not. Why are you here?" I said, acting nonchalant.

"I told you. I'd be your personal elevator. 9th floor can be too tiring for you."

Oh shit!

I knew I blushed again.

"You can take the elevator. I can walk." I avoided his gaze.

"I can walk too. Besides, elevator is boring."

I rolled my eyes and hoofed my way out, leaving him behind.

When I entered the emergency stair, I immediately turned back to see if he was there but I didn't see him enter the door so I stepped backward to see if he followed me.

"Where's he?" I asked at nothingness and opened the door.

"I'm right here." His voice behind me that made me shriek.

He chuckled.

"Want me to carry you?"

"No! I can walk! You can go!" I shooed him away and head my way up.

I was in the middle of walking when I heard a door clanked. I stopped, knowing that he really left me.

I sighed heavily.

I feel scared. I'm alone here. And. . . it's night.

"Move forward and I'll follow every step of yours. Don't worry, I'm right behind you even if you cannot see me." It was his voice that made me felt relieve.

So, I stepped forward, knowing that he's right behind me, ready to catch me if I fall and ready to help me if I trip.

It was tiring. I'm still on the 5th floor but my feet already wanted to give up.

"You okay?" He asked.

Panting, I nodded.

My eyes widened when he grabbed my body and carried me in a bridal style.

Shit. We looked like married couple! I prefer piggyback ride than this!

"You don't ha—"

"I know your feet's tired. I can still walk. I can manage. Just rest."

I felt comfortable. My feet that were sore now felt at ease. I closed my eyes because they just wanted to shut down so bad.

I suddenly woke up. With a fast breathing, my eyes started to find his presence. I was afraid that my episode might occur so I panicked. Every time I woke up, lying on a soft surface that reminds me of bed, my episode suddenly occurs.

I was already lying on the couch with a comforter and I'm scared that he might not be here during my episode. I might die. I might once again experience everything. I might choke. I might suffer to take my breathing. I might suffer alone if he's not here.

"Grayson!" I shouted his name anxiously.

What if he's not here? What if he's in the hospital? How do I calm down? What do I do if it occurs again?

I heard a loud clanked on the second floor. I looked up and I saw him wearing a sweater and running towards me.

"Why? Are you okay?" He sat beside me.

I suddenly sobbed and hugged him tightly.

"I-I. . . I'm scared! I-I might hear another voice again! I-I might die! I-I don't know what to do! They might appear again!" I panicked and nuzzled on his chest, sobbing.

He rubbed my back.

"You're going to be okay. I'm right here."

I sobbed really hard.

"I don't want to sleep. I might be stuck on the elevator again. I might hear their voice again. I might experience another episode! I don't wanna go back to the past!" I shouted with despair.

"Shh. . . I'm right here. I'm not going to let you be in the past again, okay? Trust me and I'll trust in you." He said in a melodious voice.

"Don't go. . ." I sobbed.

"I won't. I'll stay by your side." He then kissed my forehead.

"Don't leave. . ." I said in a tired voice, slowly calming down.

"I won't, my baby."

"Like what mom did." I added weakly.

He sighed and caress my hair.

I hugged him with all the strength left and he hugged me back. Now, the lurking ghouls has retreated; the singing demons has now lost their voice; and the growing horns filled with frightening vengeance has now been watered by his absolution soul.

And for another first time. . . I felt home and safe.

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