Chapter 9

He starts laughing, doubling over, tears peaking into his eyes, "you," he points a finger in my direction in an accusatory manor, "you are insane."

I smirk, easily letting the expression fall into place, though it almost hurts my face at the constant attempt to be smirks and smiles all the time, "I can't say I don't agree."

My words are quick and sarcastic, but serious and stoic at the very same time.

But my heart is empty, my soul bleeding. I'm standing at the precipice of something great, but falling short each time, never going over, never moving.

My breathing starts to pick up as Leander stares at me, trying to read me and failing time after time.

My mind starts to spiral.

Never will I see myself swell with happiness, I am forever stagnant, I am forever lost. My soul is blackened, yet now bleeding. My heart is ripped wide open and that feeling of joy is ripped clean from it.

Why can no one see this confliction?

Not even those I call 'friends'. I just want this pain to end, why will it not ever end?

Why must I walk this heart-rending path alone?

I'm falling, falling, falling past the point of no return. Lost souls such as I don't fear as I do, for they are not alone, why must I be the exception?

Leander taps my shoulder, "something wrong, my queen?" His voice is like silk, smooth to my ears, comforting, almost.

I force another smile, I am not happy, I am dying, can't you see that?

"Of course. Thank you for your concern, but I would be careful with your words. You never know who could be listening on in."

Images of blood, of torn apart skin and bodies askew, flash across my eyes and I just want to scream.

Tension spreads through my whole body, I'm in a flame-damned war camp. Keep it together.

He only gives a charming, carefree smile, as if nothing in the world is wrong. His innocence eases my mind only slightly. He looks as if war isn't coming, as if everything isn't falling apart, "whatever you say, but as I said, your my queen, not my enemy. They are my Comrades, not my enemies."

My faces twists at the words, "I would be careful with defining people to quickly."

I scan him up and down. His innocence reminds me so much of my twin that I want to break something, to shatter, to make it as broken as me. She had said the same words to me once and I had simply ignored her, saying that isn't really the best policy to live by.

Why don't I feel anything? Why can I only imitate emotion, why can't I be more human?

If anything I should be locking everything in me away at the very thought of Rini, but I can't bring myself to part with that piece of me. I can't bear the loss of another piece of my heart, I would die, just at the thought a pang goes through my heart, my unfeeling heart.

I manage another smile, but I'm pretty sure it comes out as more of a grimace, "I should go, take my hand."

He stares at my hand, as if he thinks that this is all an absurd dream, and he speaks as if he thinks I'm forcing him to come with me, as I'd force anyone to do anything, "I can't come with you. My place is here until the troops are ready and my place has been more firmly established."

"I know. We are to see commander Keita first. To work out a transport, but I need to introduce you to the council, or your second," I look him up and down thoroughly, "I need you here, arranging and training troops for now. Until you can make it to Moonstone, Aaliyah should be good to take your place."

He openly stares at my animated hands, "does she know this?"

I give him a smile full of the mischief I know is shining in my eyes, "she will soon."

He takes my hand without hesitation this time and in just a second we are standing in front of her.

Shadow traveling always feels so refreshing and good. I feel like a piece of me I never knew was there, is suddenly with me and sustaining me when I use the shadows. I'm so much less empty for just a half of a millisecond and it's wondrous.

She's not looking towards us, clearly unaware of our presence. Leander coughs quietly behind me, gaining us a startled look.

She tries for a friendly smile, but I see her nerves all the same, Leander, however, remains unaware of this fact.

"Commander Keita," I give her a respectful nod, dipping my head low enough to show respect, but not to low as to show some sort of allegiance.

"Queen Aculiac," she dips her head low, "an honor. What may I do for you?"

I nod my head in Leander's direction, this should be good, "Leander."

He tries for a rather tense smile, his words coming out rather interestingly, "commander Keita, as my second, you will go to Moonstone is my place as I ready the troops here."

She scoffs, "I don't have to do a damn thing," she puts a hand to her hip, "but I'll do this for you. Just this once. You know bullshit commands don't work on me. I watched you rise through these ranks and I practically mothered your training here."

He has the good scenes to blush a little, looking down, seeming rightfully chastised, "I forget myself, will you, on behalf on myself, go to Moonstone?"

At this she laughs, tipping her head back and I don't think I've ever seen a more genuine laugh in my time, "of course, you silly boy."

I hold out my hand for the third time today, "let's go then, shall we, Keita darling."

She takes my fingers, curling hers around mine, but before she does, she looks me in the face, saying, "your quite the charmer, young Queen," she turns her words over carefully, her smile wicked, "if only more people gave you a fair shot," she grunts, "we would be all the better for it."

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