Chapter 42

"High Queen." The man says, bowing so that his head nearly touches the floor in his twisted attempt to gain my approval. He opens a small velvet box and passes it to me.

I idly look at it. A finger with a ring on it. I want to throw this "gift" back in the mans face, spit on him and tell him to go fuck himself, but I fane interest. I always do and I always will. Coal black eyes. I can feel coal black eyes on me.

My gaze flicks up to the man as I give him a bored look, then back down to the box. I drop it, screaming. The ring, It's Irene's and Aries must be dead, so I'm insane. I drop the small box and I lash out in a blind panic.

I hate life. My life is a ruined mess of tangled knots. There is no untangling them. I need to bring everyone else down with me. I am a poison and I kill those I love because I am selfish and full of too much emotion. I am weak. I have killed Irene and this man in turn.

The man is no longer the man when I come back to and look at his body. The face of Myra Ashton stares back at me. I slash her face, destroying it, shattering the illusion her beauty had given me, the illusion it had spun Irene into.

I scream. The room shakes.

They already think I'm unstable. What's the goddamned point of acting normal when I'm not. My mind hits the bruised ending of its sanity and I jump off the cliff because I will always be the girl that shows no thread of kindness.

The air rushes up and Myra Ahstons blood stains my hands, but I'm no longer in the receiving room. I'm no longer seeing red, smelling metallic and bathing hatred.

Hushed whispers that I can't make out taunt my delicately pointed ears. I fall to my knees and press my hands against my ears, trying to block the noise as it increases in volume and turns into a mix of crying, screaming and words threaded with desperation.

I try to center myself by focusing on nothing but the ground, but the dirt crawls up my legs and into my heart. I am an awful person filled with sin and blackness. The suns fall, disappear because I am here. Just a moment in my presence would taint the beauty they bring to this world and the life they give.

I take life. I am nothing but a no good bastard born daughter. The bastard of a man with coal black eyes that kill me with a look. Blood. I feel like blood. It's on my hands, my conscience. Bile rises in my throat and I push it down. Push, push, push. Maybe if I push the pain far enough down it will leave me alone.

Red hair. That's where I am. I'm seeing red hair and white roses. I love white roses, red ones remind me of death. Her hair is like blood, mine is like an ink spill.

They pair perfectly together.

I reach for the stray strand of hair and I pull my fingers through it. They come out covered in death. I have killed beauty and now I remain to mock it.

I cry out and cover my mouth, tasting the blood on my hand as a tear goes down my cheek and over my hand. I have killed life because I am selfish and I tried to take what I should not have taken.

So much blood, oceans of it, cities torn down by it, worlds shaken to the core for it.

Done, done, done.

Life is over now..

I must not live.

I am so sorry.

I comb my hair back and put the pins in it, calming my nerves. Tonight the world will go to the Hells. The shatter is coming and I can only hope it doesn't destroy me in the process.

It will wreck this world into a thousand shards of shadow and remake it. Like glass, it will break. It starts with cracks. It ends with destruction. A glass of shadows and deception.

Galen, who had been freely roaming since we had been set free of our self made cage, is back with me, done reacquainting himself with the world and ready to settle by my side.

The tattoo on my arm slithers in response, moving. It looks like silk slipping through my fingers and dripping onto the ground, but in the shape of a small dragon. I secure my dress, arranging my various daggers through my person.

My red and black ensemble is set to march Leander and Aaliyah's fighting leathers, both of them wearing red gems- Leander with a ring and Aaliyah with a gemmed tiara- and Dravens red and black suit.

My crown is the last thing to go on. It's one of the many ones I have. My selection is the blood ruby crown, my mother had favoured it most of all.

I never knew why. She was weak and small compared to the rest of the court, so un-Aculiac-like I'm surprised she lived as long as she did in this snake den draped in finery and drenched in sin. Perhaps the crown was an attempt to look strong. Or perhaps she just took a liking to the color red paired with black. Such a stunning combination they make.

Yesterday had gone as well as expected. Vareshians were going to be in my home tonight. They are going to metaphorically take a wrecking ball to it and destroy as much as they can before making their exit. As much as I tell myself that everyone of the courtiers deserve their fate, tonight is supposed to be a celebration of life, not a shrine to death.

I'm about to make a mockery of seventy three trillion years of Varsillian tradition and principle. I can't say that it doesn't feel good to spit on the legacy htat Aries Aculiac tainted with his life's blood.

So much blood. I'm drowning in a sea of it.

Echos go off in my head. Footsteps are headed my way and this is really happening. I must be completely lost to insanity. I know not to expect a knock as I sweep myself out of the chair, my crown secured and ready to represent.

Deep breaths. In and out. In and out. I can do this.

I have nothing to lose, I tell myself. I try to convince myself. I am a liar. Not a good one to myself. I will try to do my best. No. I mustn't try. I will be perfect tonight, even if I have to die for the illusion.

The three look grim as they enter the room. Our entourage looks intimidating as Hells. We look like a parade of death, splattered with blood and covered in the immorality of our deeds.

We fit the part of the Varsillian.

It's good. It's perfect. I nod at Aaliyah, then Draven and Leander last. They fan out behind me, not a word spoken between us. We all understand what's at stake and what's about to transpire.

I smile wickedly, playing the part of Evelyn Aculiac, the harbinger of death. Every inch of me is lined with finery and false-pretense. Everyone of the people in the throne room knows this too. It's why they fear me. They never know what to expect from the metally unstable queen who enjoys cruelty just a tad too much.

A man stands at the door, dressed in a simple, yet elegant, black suit. He's all clean lines and slicked back hair.

I don't dare to look back at the three figures at my back. I know we're all thinking the same thing though. This man is likely going to die tonight.

He bows at the waist when he sees me, giving Leander, Draven and Aaliyah nods. No going back, no faltering from this point on.

He open the doors for me. I walk. He starts to speak my name and long list of titles. The three stay behind as I make my way down the ridiculously long walk that leads to the dias. Composure is everything as I make eye contact with people in the crowd. They cow under my gaze.

The doormans voice drones on, -Night Aculiac, High Queen of Varsillian. Goddess of the void and gate-"

His voice stops as I reach the throne and lay myself over it as I always do. Why should I show respect to a chair when all this chair reminds me of is failure and death?

Draven Atkinsons is next. Typically he would enter with Haley, but she's dead now- under mysterious circumstances no less. "Consul of Varsillian, Draven Becken Thorn Irya Atkinsons."

He doesn't smile. Doesn't make eye contact with anyone but me as me walks down the long scarlett carpet.

Aaliyah starts to walk alongside Leander behind Draven.

"Aaliyah Navaeh Keita, Highstone war general. Leander Varian Night, Highstone war general."

The room is silent. The world is silent. Life will be gone soon, but first we party.

I flick my wrist. The music starts anew and the dancing goes back into full swing.

Let's just get this Goddamn night over with.

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