•Chapter 4•

I do not let the tears fall but I feel them all the same as I sweep my gaze over those trees and picture that meadow where my life was changed for the worse. But perhaps it was for the best.

I am no longer so naive as to believe that mercy is in peoples nature.

I am no longer that soft breakable girl that was new to overwhelming fear. But then again, I had lost all of that when I had turned nine and Aries thought to spend my birthday tormenting me.

But that day I had not only feared for my own safety, but that of anothers. I still remember her haunting green eyes and the soft blonde hair that had framed her face, that had been crusted with blood the first and only time I had ever seen the girl.

I knew that her death was a punishment for me. After all, the living mourn, the dead do not.

Death is such a funny thing, from the time of our conception we are bound to the very death we fear most. Life is such a contradiction of itself.

While living we wait to die. And it is also not death that scares, but the uncertainty surrounding it, we do not know what awaits us on the other side.

Well, most don't.

So maybe that wake up call to loss was good, but maybe not.

And yet, how can being all alone be a good thing. How can waking up each morning and feeling a crushing sadness and loneliness be a good thing. How can being me be a good thing.

I have to move on though, I don't have it in my tired heart to keep thinking about such things.

I lift my shoulders higher as well as my chin and sweep my dress up, preparing for more meetings with incompetents that have proven themselves henceforth, useless.

Most of all though, I find myself wanting to just lay down to sleep.

But I can't do that, I have drama to stir up.

With one last glance at the trees I keep moving and the whole way back to the main estate I cannot seem to stop thinking about the once bright Gavrin, warrior and protector, but above all, beloved cousin and friend.

My center.

But now Lucifer holds that place in my heart. I had latched onto him from the very first moment I had seen him.

I also keep thinking about the houses and my allies; Hawthorn, Wright, Atkinsons, and Night. I suppose Lucas isn't the worst and I can't say I'm fond of Draven, but it is my fault he is consul, at least he respects his House line enough to ally with me. Draven really reminds me of his grandfather, Harlow.

That man and I had always clashed and fought as well, but we had a standing friendship. I still have hope to have the same relationship with Draven, but I don't see that happening too soon.

Feeling cooled off at last I find myself at one of Moonstones many back entrance only known by the royal family, otherwise known as the Aculiac line of queens.

I weave my way through corridors, the only sound being the click clack of my heels on the marble, and approach at the door where I can hear screaming from.

And not the fun kind.

I pause before opening the doors and listen in.

"That woman is not our queen and will not lead us to our certain deaths." Draven then, seeing as he's acting thick headed again. Draven reminds me so much of Harlow; stubborn, loyal, driven, a bit insane and Draven, just like Harlow, is still loyal to me under this facade.

We have all been forced to put on various masks over the years, his just seems to be one of the worse ones, but quite not as bad as mine.

"I have been warning you all of this war for nearly two centuries, ever since the rightful queen was locked up and none of you listened, if you wanted to avoid going to her for help you should have thought this all through." I wonder why Lucas Wright feels the need to stick up for me, perhaps it's because of Lyra Wright and how she died fighting for me and my house. Perhaps he feels the need to honor his mother even though he seems to be anything but honorable.

"If we would have gathered armies our people would have been... well, you know how they get."

"And now we'll all be enslaved like to Varkeshians,"he's nearly screaming at this point, "for your incompetence."

I take this as my cue to enter and with a grand push I open the doors, my skirt train of various blues trailing behind me.

"Hello ladies, I offer my deepest apologies for walking out earlier, had I known such incivility would occur in my absence I would have stayed just to watch the show, and brought popcorn."

Silence. I look at Lucas Wright, the similarity to his mother is almost stifling. I look back at Draven who heads the table, who's also wearing a set of court leathers.

"No one has anything to say now, such a pity."

I spit my last few words and add as much venom to them as I can, after all I have an image to uphold even if I feel a little light headed and like vomiting right where I stand.

I had eaten a little too much this morning after being starved for far too long.

I had forgotten for one moment where I was and who I was this morning.

But these are different days and I can't afford to forget even for a moment again.

Different days with a bastard born true queen and the latest fashion being court leathers. Strange times indeed.

My line of thought comes to a sudden halt when they all stand up at once and bow together, as is formal for the monarch. But I can still see the distaste on nearly all of their faces.

They just made their move, now I'll make mine.

"That's much better." I say, picking my nails and using the condescending tone that I had once reserved for Aries Aculiac.

"My queen, I'd like to say thank you for agreeing to help this kingdom, your kingdom," not so confident now, are we, Lucas Wright. At least Harlow had a backbone.

"Oh, do not thank me yet, darling. Now, back to business. I have but one question, where is prince Gavrin Ayer?"

They all go pale and sit down one after another. Lightly touching at all their mental shields I immediately sense reluctance, fear, some hate.

"My... my quee...n," The man whom I know to be named Windsor stutters out before starting to ramble, "its a funny story, you see- well... I wouldn't say funny, just strange, you know- yeah, you seem like the type to know."

"Spit it out," I say in a tone of great exasperation.

"Gavrin was executed for... for trying to rescue you from our dungeons. Funny story, right?"

•1199•
Banner done by Queen17_06