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To be quite honest, I don't even want to know what happened that made Sara and Bryan run away. Frankly, it could be anything from cake to Iggy Pop to lemonade. However, I begin to calm down as no one else runs away. Maybe Bryan just wanted to take her on a little adventure, if you know what I mean....

The conga line just congas on, actually. That brings me to another question: Why the hell does Stephanie keep starting these damn conga lines? Stephanie and her blondie boyfriend Roger keep leading all of my people on, and it's just weird. At some point, apparently Elisa slipped out of the line and started dancing on the table. Judy breaks out of line too, actually, and scuttles away. God knows what she's doing....

Just as I thought maybe Bryan might have been so fortunate as to be able to get it on, (unlike me. Thanks Lou for getting my girlfriend high) he slips through the door and gives me a perturbed look. "David," he says, "Why do you have a giant collection of lamps in this room?"

"I don't have a giant collection of lamps!" What does he mean? I should only have a couple lamps....

Judy scuttles back in, and she stands, bearing a certain psychedelic device, "David! Don't mess with me! I found your lava lamp collection!"

Oh no, that's what Bryan meant... my lava lamps!

"Please don't touch those!" I squeal.

Sara comes out eating a cupcake, covered in a collage of glitter and feathers, or as Brian and Marc decided, my party decorations, and she says, "too late for that, man! It's psychedelic hippie time, man!"

The conga line halts right in it's tracks (thank God...), and the music completely goes silent. Marc steps away from his little disc jockey spot and rummages through the records. Lily steps over and starts feeding him directions.

"Marc, if you plan on playing something psychedelic in nature," she begins proudly, "I have some great suggestions!"

Iggy pushes her out of the way and says, "That slut doesn't know what she's talking about! Lemme pick the music!"

She sits herself up from off the ground and says, "Why does everyone think I'm a slut?" Then she tries to stand up, "Oh shit, my ankle is definitely sprained. Thanks, Iggy."

Hannah comes over and helps her stand, "What the heck Iggy! You can't just push people to the ground when you might not like their taste in music!" She hands Lily off to Brian, "And you can't just call them a slut either. Lou, keep a leash on your boyfriend. He's crazy!"

Brian says, "Yeah man, you can call me a slut but don't mess with her!"

Lee and Jimmy proudly walk through the crowd of people, and Lee declares, "Jimmy can heal her ankle." I shudder again, as I don't want to see another display of Jimmy's powers. Jimmy comes forward, and now he's wearing some weird cape thing. Did Grace make that for him? I hope not...

Silently, and without any consent, Jimmy lifts his magic staff to the air, and he repeats the same little ritual he used on Mick on Lily. Judy comes forward, defending herself with the lava lamp, "Thank you for that Jimmy. You have proved to me know that you don't just waste your powers on Mick Jagger, you actually use them on likable people!"

Mick is chewing on a slice of pizza, and then he says, "I can hear you, you know! Do you guys think I'm deaf or something?"

Holly crosses her arms in a sassy fashion, "Seriously, why do you think it's okay to make fun of my boyfriend?" Then, she and Mick exchange glances, "You know what baby, were leaving!" Oh no! Mick's Super Attractive Girlfriend Holly can't leave the party! Man, she does have a funny way of being petty...

Elisa jumps down from the table she still had been dancing on, "Holly, you can't leave! We can throw Mick out, but you stay!"

Holly clutches Mick's arm and she says, "Fine. We will stay here. So, where were we with the hippie freak out and all?"

Hannah says, "Iggy bitch punched my friend and she sprained her ankle. Then Jimmy used more magick. Come to think of it, that is a little psychedelic."

Sara comes forth with Bryan, and they both have lava lamps. Sara says, "David, we can use your lava lamp collection to really make this glam party ever so slightly hippie tinged!"

That's enough of that! "Please, put away my trippy lava lamps. I only use those to get in the mood for sex," at that point, Bryan grimaces and drops a lamp, "So, please put them away!" That little bitch man better not have broken my lamp.

Phil Manzanera says, "Whew! Thank goodness this didn't become a hippie party, I'm glad we left the sixties far behind us!"

Lou Reed says, "Whoa whoa whoa... I miss the sixties! I miss all the acid, man!"

Freddie Mercury scoffs and says, "Yes, we can tell, darling." Some of the other guys start laughing, you know, the new comers that weren't in the scene in the sixties. Lou, Alice, and Iggy all roll their eyes, as they all loved it back in the day. This better not become acid.

Jimmy lifts his best friend, Jack Daniels, high to the sky, and declares, "Guys, with each new decade brings new drugs! I'll take each new time period with whatever new delights it brings me," he brings Lee closer to him, "Can we have a toast? A toast to the seventies and all of its joys!" Shut up, Jimmy. You're starting to scare me.

"To the seventies and all of its joys!" everyone toasts.

I hold my glass high and scream, "I never liked acid anyways!" Iggy and Lou both stare at me, and give me the dirtiest look possible.

Why did you say that, David, you idiot? How drunk are you? Iggy's going to kill me, even if he's my friend!

Bryan Ferry rushes to my aid, "Um, some of us don't even like drugs at all, you know?" The other guys in Roxy Music and Queen all happily give a sign of recognition. "Brian, you only tried weed once, right?"

Brian takes a cigarette from his mouth, "Once, maybe twice. Art is my drug, man. Art and sex."

What did I just start, "I like drugs, just other ones, you know?"

Grace hugs me, "Ooo, tell me about your drug use, honey!" She kisses me, and I sit down, coaxing my girl into my lap in a totally not creepy fashion.

"Well, come around everyone," I begin. All the party goers all sir down around me like kids at a campfire, and Bob starts strumming his guitar. He plays a little harmonica, and then nods as it is time to begin, "Well, um, I was on tour with the Spiders, see," and me and Mick Ronson make a brotherly eye contact, totally not sexual, "We needed a little boost, see," goodness, Bob's guitar is really getting intense, and Elisa started singing backup vocals to my nonexistent song, "And we all tried a little cocaine, see, and I felt so alive, see," why do I keep saying see? Maybe I'm high right now... "Anyways, ever since then my best friend has been," and I kiss my darling, Grace, on the head, "Cocaine!" Keith Moon snaps his fingers, and everyone else claps.

Mick lifts his drink, (since when did we all get nice drinks?), "It has been your absolute best friend, buddy. There is no one you could love more then lady cocaine."

Grace writhes around a bit and says, "It's good you have a thing for drugs, because I am drugs."

Ah Grace, a druggie man's best friend.

Lee runs over to us, I jump out of terror, and I accidentally drop Grace on the floor. They really are starting to remind me of Jimmy Page. Lee stops and says, "David, I can't find Jimmy anywhere! I don't know what he's doing, but it might not be good. Help!"

My body trembles all over at the prospect of that little whore running amuck in my house. How is that even fair. "Marc Bolan, can you find Jimmy?"

Marc Bolan sasses, "David, I might be your friend, but I'm not your personal bitch." That is out of character for Marc. Why did he snap like that? What is going on?

What did Jimmy do?

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Good question David, what did Jimmy do?
Is there anyone he recruited to help him?
What will happen next?
What part of this chapter did you really like?

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