"I wanna fall in love with the stars in your eyes"

***

2 Weeks Later

The last thing that Phil wanted to waste his time on right now was another party because, as history would have it, they never seemed to end well.

But this Friday was more than just the usual drunken teenagers dancing awkwardly to noise that was more bass than actual music. His friends were here, and FTC was in a week, and Elliot was leaving the day after. They had practice the next morning (9am sharp), so it was probably a bad idea to let them all drink the night away, but Phil was fine standing in the kitchen with soda in his cup instead of alcohol, and Dan was supposed to be there any moment.

There was no telling what they were anymore. It wasn't a relationship, Dan had made that very clear when they had talked a couple of weeks ago, and Phil was perfectly okay with that because it wasn't the right time for either of them. But sometimes it was weird, and they would be having a completely normal conversation, but Phil would let his hand linger a little too long on Dan's arm, or Dan would stare at the exposed skin of Phil's neck when he wasn't looking. Weird, but good.

Phil was happy, an impossible idea considering the shit show his life had been recently. He wanted things to be better, and he would try his damn hardest to make it so.

"Phil Lester! The loner in the kitchen, what's up, my guy?" Phil raised a dubious eyebrow at the doorway which a very intoxicated Grayson had just walked through. He stopped next to Phil, grabbed his cup, and scrunched his nose at the contents inside of it. "Soda, man? It's a party. You gotta let loose every once in a while."

Phil snatched his cup back. "The last time I 'let loose' at a party, I ended up making out with you, so I think I'll hold back."

"You didn't hate it," Grayson said with a smirk. And yeah, Phil wasn't going to lie about that. "Hey, so you'll never guess who's here."

"The Queen?" He guessed half halfheartedly. Grayson stuck out his tongue.

"Holden." And he was right, Phil really never would have guessed that. "Stuck in a corner, predictably, he's such a stuck up prick. Why's he even here?"

Phil shrugged. "Maybe he was curious. People get curious about stuff they've never done before." But Phil couldn't help thinking it was most likely a different reason. "Besides, I thought you two didn't completely hate each other anymore."

"Whatever, just cause he helped you pass Physics doesn't mean I have to be friends with him." Gray snatched an empty cup from the counter and one of the many bottles beside it. "He's an ass."

"I don't know, I think he's kind of cute."

"Oh, really?" Grayson raised a surprised eyebrow at him. "Is Dan okay with that?"

"We're not dating, I can call other guys cute."

"But Holden, of all people?" 

Phil laughed at his appalled expression. "You know, I'm starting to think you guys have some unresolved tension."

Gray scoffed into his cup. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"Sexual tension."

"Fuck off," Gray replied, but he only looked disgusted for about two seconds before his eyes glazed over, obviously lost in his thoughts. Thoughts that Phil would gladly like to never know.

"Are you gonna go look for him?" Phil asked with a smirk, and Grayson was about to tell him off for it when Dan showed up next to them.

"Hi," he said with a small smile at Phil. His hair was curly and slightly damp, and the flannel he was wearing was a bit too big on him, but he looked good.

They weren't dating, but Phil wanted to kiss him all the fucking time.

"Good, I can leave." Grayson waved at them mockingly and headed out of the kitchen to the actual party.

"Use protection!" Phil shouted after him. Grayson flicked him off.

Dan was still staring after Gray with a blank expression. Phil didn't want to jump conclusions, but he had told Dan about the very short tryst between him and his band mate, and the reserved benevolence that Dan gave Gray now was highly noticeable. It was amusing.

"What was that about?" Dan asked him as he turned to face him again.

"Nothing, really," Phil said. "I think he's discovering some hidden feelings. Who knows, they're so confusing at that age."

Dan laughed, and Phil tried not to watch the way his entire face lit up with it.

"So, you'll never guess who showed up at our band practice today." Dan said, switching the topic easily.

"Oh, I've had enough guessing for today, just tell me."

"Chris."

Phil couldn't hide his surprised look. The last he had heard, Chris was more than okay with dumping any and all ideas of TCE and PJ into the pile of forbidden material in his mind. And yeah, he had tried to get his best friend to talk to PJ, if for no other reason than to just hear him out, but Chris hadn't said anything about actually doing it. 

"Wow," he said, still a little shocked. "What happened?"

"Dunno. They locked themselves in a different room for an hour, and there was a bit of shouting, but I think they're sorting their shit out. Finally."

"Finally," Phil agreed. Chris was lost somewhere in the crowd, most likely drunk and outrageous, and Phil made a mental note to bug him about it later. "Do you think that you guys are ready for tomorrow?"

Tomorrow, which was a Saturday, and also the first day of FTC. Heinous had been up all hours of the day practicing, arguing, writing, and playing, and now it was all going to be put to the test. Phil was just hoping they wouldn't lose the very first round.

"God, I hope so," Dan said with a heavy sigh. "With all the craziness that's been happening, I wouldn't be surprised if we absolutely fail." Phil had been apart of that craziness, but he nodded in agreement. "And everyone's getting wasted tonight, which means hangovers tomorrow. We're a mess."

"You'll be great," Phil tried to encourage him, nudging his shoulder gently. "Just be normal."

"I can't be normal in front of ten thousand people." That was a good point.

"Don't freak out about it," Phil said, and it was muscle memory to reach out and tangle his fingers into the back of Dan's hair reassuringly, he couldn't stop it if he wanted to. Dan visibly relaxed. "You'll only make it worse on yourself."

"I want to do this, but I don't know if I can." Dan spoke in a small voice, so low that Phil barely heard him. "All those people, and the band doesn't give a shit about taking caution. This is something serious to me, but I don't think I'll make it."

"You'll make it," Phil said, simple and firm. "We'll make it. Some way or another."

And Dan gave him this look, this stupid fucking look of trust and happiness, and it was almost too much for him to handle. A month ago, he had been alone and sad, and he never thought that he would be able to talk with Dan like this ever again, but he had been wrong, so gratefully wrong.

He knew they would make. Together.

The End

***

time for an emotional a/n :'0

You guys, the first chapter of this story was published in 2015 how fucking crazy is that, i cant believe it took me two years to finish this

BUT THIS IS THE END, NO MORE CHAPTERS OR SEQUELS OR ANYTHING, WE MADE IT

honestly though thank you so much to anyone who has ever decided to read this story or any of my stories tbh, and even though ive pretty much stopped writing fanfiction these days, this will forever be a big part of my life. all your comments and support have helped a lot with this story, even though it probs doesnt seem like it, i most likely would have never finished this if it wasnt for you guys

i have a new account @strangefaces if you want to read some of my (not yet but soon to be published) stories

i love you all and i hope i see you guys again it would mean the world to me

thank you for reading and i hope you enjoyed it as much as i have. peace :')