"Did you mean it,
Could you feel it,
When you broke into my head?"

***

Phil stared down at the pale blue dye that covered his hands, surprised and awed at how much it actually resembled the sky. You know, when it wasn't raining or covered by clouds. It seemed painfully aesthetic, the kind of shit you'd see on the Internet with some alternative song lyrics captioned beneath it.

And now we're covered in the colours, pulled apart at the seams

"You think I should dye my eyebrows, too?" Elliot asked from beside him, staring into the mirror contemplatively. His hair was still dripping wet, marking his shirt with spots. Phil looked up at him, closing his hands into loose fists.

"No." He said vaguely. "You'd look stupid with blue eyebrows."

Elliot hummed in response, squinting his eyes at his reflection.

It was an amazing feat that his hair hadn't fallen out at this point. Phil had seen him with pretty much every colour imaginable, even that month long bright orange phase that still made everyone physically sick to think about. Ellie claimed that people were much more attracted to unusual things on a person, and it helped him attract the attention he 'needed'. And who was Phil to judge? If he was being honest, it was the hair that had made him consider asking Elliot to join the band, after hearing him play first.

And this wasn't the first time he'd helped his friend dye it. Whenever he was free, he would be more than happy to watch purple or red or blue stain his hands and most of the bathroom.

Elliot huffed a sigh after a moment, grabbing a towel from the counter and ruffling his hair with it. He walked out of the bathroom door, and Phil washed his hands slowly before following him.

For the last few days, Phil had been trying to avoid Chris as much as possible. He was still irritated that he'd been persuaded (tricked) into going to that party at all, even though he wasn't mad about having to go. Chris was always getting into too much trouble, and he had such a bad habit of dragging others down with him. Phil just hoped the whole thing wouldn't fall apart, like usual.

But with Dan being pretty much absent all the time with his own band issues, Phil didn't have many options of who to hang out with besides Grayson and Ellie. And Gray would do nothing but want to start a discussion about one thing or another, so it was either stay in the house by himself or Elliot.

"So when is that party again?" Elliot asked with a smirk. Phil was already regretting telling him about the whole thing because all he did was tease about it. They all hated being pulled into Chris's plans.

"Next week." Phil said, falling into a chair that sat beside the bed. "Would you stop bringing it up? It gives me stomach pains."

Elliot laughed at him. "I don't know where he comes up with this stuff, honestly. He's always so worried about them sabotaging us or something. He's paranoid."

Phil sighed. "Well I wish he'd get over it, he's gonna get into serious trouble one day."

"I just wanna know why he didn't ask me and Gray to do it." He wondered out loud, leaning back and crossing his arms behind his head.

"He thought you wouldn't want to do it."

"Oh please," Ellie said. "I would do be down for that. Going to a secret party?"

"It's fine, really." Phil said, none too convincingly. He was mostly just acting bummed about it; he did want to go, with the promise of being alone with Dan for as long as he could.

He missed him all the time, it was sort of desperately poetic. They never had much time together because of all the complications in their relationship, and he graciously thanked every higher deity when he could have ten minutes. They had grown used to the limited interactions over time, but that didn't mean they liked it at all. They were teenagers, after all, with hormones and needs that they couldn't find relief for except with each other. So this party was actually important to him, because it was probably the longest amount of time he'd ever had with his boyfriend in the last few months.

"Hey," Ellie said, making Phil pull out of his thoughts to pay attention to him, "did you hear that Tucker slept with one of the TCE members?"

Phil raised an eyebrow. "Who's Tucker?"

"Tucker Sellins."

"You mean Catholic boy Tucker Sellins?"

"The very one."

Phil shook his head, hesitant on believing that. Tucker was as prude as they came. You couldn't even say the word 'sex' without him glaring at you and most likely trying pray the sin away. There was no way he'd drop all of that to get his rocks off, and definitely not with any of TCE.

"Who with?" Phil asked, honestly curious. He wasn't one of those people who constantly preyed on gossip, but sometimes he couldn't help himself.

"They said one of the twins, but it'd have to be Tyler, you know Taylor is ace."

He knew a lot about the twins. Dating Dan had the benefit of being told everything about his band, and Phil probably knew more about their personal lives than he'd like to.

Taylor and Tyler were famous. They were rich and good looking, played in a band with other good looking people, and they flaunted all of it. The powerful brother-sister duo was basically unstoppable when it came to, well... everything. They could do anything they wanted, and everyone loved them.

And Tyler was well known because of his extensive bedroom skills. Phil had heard all kinds of stories about his seduction games, how he could pull anyone into bed with him, and apparently, he really could. A guy like Tucker wasn't easy to talk to at all, let alone sleep with.

"Lost his virginity to a guy." Elliot smiled. "Think of how proud his mother will be."

Phil rolled his eyes but didn't say anything.

His band members were not homophobic in the least, he knew that. Elliot was the only one who was completely straight of all of them, so they had no right to judge about who he slept with. But sometimes, when they said certain things like that, it made him uncomfortable.

It had taken Phil a long time to come to terms with his sexuality, and even longer to start showing an outward interest in guys. He knew what he liked, he was entirely sure about himself, but it was difficult when everyone around was even more secure about what they liked. Sometimes he still felt like a confused 14 year old, scared to even look at other guys.

But he shook it off, he always did, and didn't think about it too much. They joked about it all the time, he shouldn't be afraid that they would suddenly turn against him. They weren't like that.

"I don't who's worse about gossip sometimes." Phil joked. "You or Chris?"

"Definitely me." Ellie said seriously, making Phil laugh. "There are so many things I know that probably nobody else knows. I'm a machine of secrets."

"Like what?"

"Well they wouldn't be secrets if I told you, now would they?"

Phil flipped him off.

***

When the weekend finally came, Phil was more than ready to sleep in and not do anything for the two days of freedom that he had. His laptop was ready for extensive use and the kitchen was stocked for his late night raiding sessions.

But it seemed that the universe hated him. For what, he didn't know; probably that time in primary school when he kicked his teacher for taking his unfinished drawings. Either way, here he was at seven in the morning on a Saturday, still in his pyjama pants, waiting for Chris to open the damn door. He gotten a text telling him to be there, and now the fuckface wasn't even answering the phone.

"I swear to god, Chris," he growled into the phone, "I have literally gotten two hours of sleep, I don't have fucking time for this shit. Open the fucking door."

"A bit too early for you to be using such naughty language, isn't it?" Phil turned to see Grayson walking up next to him on the porch, yawning and clutching his arms to his chest. His hair was a mess and he was wearing pyjamas, too. "I see our wonderful leader has summoned you as well? Guess that means Ellie will be here, too."

Phil grunted. "He is not our leader. He's barely in the band as it is."

"Isn't he the one that started it?"

"He helped start it." Phil said. "So that means me and him are co-leaders. And I have the right to kick him out of the band for being a little shit."

Grayson laughed half heartedly, leaning against the door and closing his eyes while Phil decided on texting Chris angrily. If this was as important as he'd made it seem, he was not going to leave them out here like this, the asshole.

A few minutes later, Elliot showed up, and him and Gray were leaning against each other, practically falling asleep when Chris finally made an appearance.

"Well you all look like shit." He said cheerily, but Phil grumbled and pushed past him into the house. "Good morning to you, too."

They marched up the stairs slowly, staving off yawns and words of contempt towards Chris (not so much on Phil's part) until they were all in Chris's room. Chris say at the desk that was pushed into the far corner.

"Come, gather around me, children." He said, waving at them until they were all grouped together. Chris turned to his computer and scrolled through his email, humming happily when he found what he was looking for. "There you go."

Phil huffed but leaned closer to the screen with Gray and Elliot, scanning the words quickly.

Dear Mr. Kendall,

We have received your numerous attempts of communication with us, and would first like to say that we admire your ambition, no matter how time consuming it might have been.

This email is to inform you that we have, coincidentally, had a recent opening in our schedule for next Wednesday at 11pm, and it is your for the taking, if you would like it. Please be aware that the Blue Room does require IDs for alcoholic consumption, and that we do not take kindly to fakes.

Thank you, and we wish you well,

The managers of the Blue Room

There was a moment of quiet, as they fully comprehended what they were reading. Phil had to read it three times to be sure it was real.

"No fucking way." Gray said breathlessly. "You did not get us booked to play at the fucking Blue Room."

"I sure did." Chris said proudly, smiling widely. He stared at Phil pointedly. "Is this important enough for your Saturday to be interrupted?"

Phil laughed and shook his head. "Okay, fine, all is forgiven."

He felt much more awake now, buzzing inside as he turned to his band mates excitedly.

The Blue Room was one of the most popular and sought out clubs on this side of town. They were known for having the best music groups play on their stage, but it was extremely difficult booking a gig there. Dan had told him that TCE had been trying to play there for almost a year, and that no amount of money or fame could get you in unless the managers there felt like you were good. This was a fucking breakthrough for them, big enough for them to probably get noticed by more than just a few classmates.

"It said 11pm?" Elliot questioned suddenly, squinting at the computer screen. "On a Wednesday night? You really think that's gonna go down with all of the eight parents always on our asses?"

Chris shrugged. "I was just thinking we could sneak out."

The other three boys groaned at those words. As important as this opportunity was for all of them, they really didn't know if it was worth possibly getting caught by their parents and being put on parole for the rest of their lives. Chris was still grounded right now, and Phil had enough to deal with, with the party that was also happening next week, also at a late time.

"Oh come on." Chris goaded. "Are we really going to give up a spot at the Blue Room because we might get in trouble? This could be it, guys. I don't know about you, but a few months of punishment seems pretty worth it if we get famous."

"The thing is, Chris," Gray said seriously, "we can't exactly 'be famous' if we're all in trouble, can we? Unless you think we could still do shows from the confines of our rooms?"

"Well then we won't get caught." Chris said, as if it was the simplest thing in the world. "It'll only be a few hours, we'll be back before two."

"I don't know." Phil said, pursing his lips. The initial excitement was gone now, replaced with worry and hesitation. "My mums already on my back about my grades. If she did find out about this, she'd eviscerate me."

Chris sighed, rubbing his face tiredly. "I have to respond to them. They still have an open spot, and it could be taken if we aren't fast about it."

It was silent once again, and not in a very good way. They were deciding whether it was really worth it. This was a serious deal; if they played there, they had a chance at actually becoming well known. This was a once in a lifetime chance, and if they blew it it would never happen again.

But Phil was still wary. His parents were not lenient when it came to reprimanding him, especially his mum. Even if they pulled this off, if they ever caught wind of it, he'd be done in for sure. And he didn't know if he was willing to let that happen.

"I'm in." Gray said, making them all look at him. He shrugged. "This may be the only chance we have. And wait till everyone hears we played at the Blue Room."

Another pause. "Me too." Elliot said with a small smile.

And then they were all looking at Phil. He shied away from their stares, not wanting to be the bad guy. "I'll have to think about it." He muttered.

Thankfully, there was little argument about his decision, and they eventually agreed to give him some time. He promised he'd have an answer by Monday, and he was really hoping he would. Chris replied to the email, saying there were a couple of complications and they would have a definite answer by next week. They all silently prayed the spot wouldn't be given up by then.

"Well," Gray said after they had everything settled, climbing into Chris's bed and stretching out languidly, "I'm going back to bed. See you all in the afternoon."

Chris crawled in next to him, pulling the blankets over his head and promptly falling asleep. Phil and Elliot decided to take their chances in the living room, grabbing a few blankets from the hall closet and making themselves comfortable on one of the couches.

Phil was just drifting off again, more than ready to jump back into his dream world, when Elliot spoke up.

"Phil?"

"Hm?" Phil grumbled, burying his face into the cushions. He was far too warm to even think about moving.

"Do you ever think about it?" Ellie continued. "Actually making it? Becoming famous and stuff?"

Phil thought about it. It was a dream of his; one day making a living out of playing music with his friends. That was the whole point of starting the band in the first place, with the intent of becoming famous.

"Course I have." He said. "It's gonna be awesome."

"Yeah." Elliot said wistfully. "I'll be, like, the Josh Dun of the music industry."

Phil laughed at that, barely coherent at this point. "You keep thinking that, mate. No one compares to that legend."

"You never know."

***

a/n: I have returned from the war!

Okay but seriously, sorry this took so long to update. I promise I was putting all my effort into this chapter, I kept deleting it and rewriting it; but it's finished and I'm happy with it, and I hope you guys liked it too.

Also, for this of you who are confused, Phil's bands name is Heinous, and Dan's band is The Cutting Edge (or TCE). A lot of people were asking me about it so yeah.

Self promo time: if you guys have ever wanted to know every single thing about me, your time has come. Ive written a 'personality book' (my sister calls them that) where I'll be posting all kinds of weird and random stuff about me and other stuff. So you should go check it out, maybe. I'd love you forever. It's called About A Girl, and there's only one part so far, but I'll try and keep up with it.

Okay yes that's all. I love you and everything you stand for, and I hope you have a beautiful rest of the day or nigh and that no one makes you sad or mad cause you don't deserve that you beautiful children. Peace :3