"Arthur! Arthur!"

"Oh, Bollocks... What is it now [y/n]?"

"Guess what I'm going to be when I grow up?"

"I'm... not sure. What do you want to be?"

"I'm going to be in the military!"

"Are you insane? Do you know what the military does, [y/n]? You're.. you're a girl! Why not stick to... ugh, I don't know, baking?"

"Because I wanna change lives!"

"You can change lives in other ways, you blockhead."

"Well, what do you want to do in the future?"

"I... Haven't confirmed that, actually."

"You're very smart. I think you'd be just fine in any profession."

"Th... Thanks."

______

When I was at the age of 12 I wanted to be in the armed forces. I wanted to fight for those who made up my background. My dad was apart of the militia. Even if that wasn't his first choice, he had come back feeling as if he had made a difference. That, he did. And he was praised for his work, and he would continue to be praised for years to come. He had fought for the next generation, which was me. Had he not... I'm not sure where I would be, or if I would even be here.

At the age of 13 came the drastic changes in life. Changed how I thought, how I saw. Maybe it was just puberty. But there was another factor too, that included the Germans. I did not want to go with them, and I would ensure that I stayed home with my family no matter the circumstances. Arthur and Percy, my two best friends, had parents who thought... differently. They did not want to resist or fight back, no they wanted compromise. The Hastings were two of high intellect, and I had no doubt that they knew the right decision to make when it came time to board the train.

Except there was no decision. Only regret and years of pain and suffering in the making.

Percy who suffered more than the group of us. Arthur who dealt the consequences.

And then me. A me that had life-changing choices to make. A me that had lost the dream that drove me to smile, create, and inspire, unpretentiously.

A me who had lost me.

______

"I can't do it, Arthur. I can't do it."

"What on Earth do you mean [y/n]? You can't stop now! We're almost there, keep your head now, won't you?"

My knees buckled beneath me and the ground beneath me kept me from collapsing as a whole. I could feel Arthur's eyes on me, the dark brown hues swelling with disbelief and what could almost be described as disappointment or shock. It hurt. Knowing that I had failed him and everyone else for so long hurt. What am I to do? When I've got nothing to look forward to, what was I supposed to do?

Arthur crouched to eye level with me, his long arms reaching out to my shoulders, his hands lightly holding at the back of my neck. He called out to me in a hurried and almost threatening tone, "If we don't scram as of right now, I've got no doubts that we're going to be the next V-Meat. Now I don't want that for you, nor do I want that for myself. So our best bet is to keep moving."

If I weren't to do this for myself, I would do this for him. He'd been doing this for who knows how long. Since we were teens? Since Percy had gone away? I was unsure. But what I did know, was that ever since the war, he had been driven to find his brother. It was his very own dream he was chasing. Sometimes I imagine what it would be like to still have a dream of my own.

We dashed down the streets of Hamlyn Village, dodging Constables and those who were dedicated to their joy. They shouted at the two of you angrily, "You rotten downers," and "You all are worse than the plague," they would yell. All of which I'd had heard before, though it didn't make the words any less hurtful. I was a downer, yes it was true, but that didn't make their words any less hurtful.

Arthur helped me into our closest hatch and proceeded to fumble with closing it once we were both inside completely. I made my way over to our bunk bed and threw myself onto it, rolling up into the already messy sheets, trying to forget the series of events that had just happened. It was hard to forget nowadays unless you thrived off of joy. I was apart of the first few to get a bad batch... One is all it took for that happy drug to malfunction within you and cause your entire system to come to a stop.

"What the hell just happened back there?" Came a male voice, one with a thick accent, and of course belonged to the only other person within your hatch. I couldn't help but frown when I imagined how angry he must be. I nearly got him killed. I nearly got myself killed. Heavens knows if I couldn't take care of myself, Arthur could take care of himself. At least somewhat anyways...

"Listen, I'm sorry."

"Sorry? You're sorry?"

He gave a laugh that dignified his disbelief, and at that point, I couldn't help the familiar burning sensation that dwelled in my eyes. Arthur was always tough on me. He was so much more delicate with others. I could never understand why. We were close. We were so close... yet, he never truly tried to treat me like the rest.

"What if you had gotten killed out there? What if something had happened to me!" I could hear his hands hit his sides with frustration. The Wellie sat on my bed, resulting in a bit of a dip down towards him. I covered my face, trying to muffle my sniffles and near full-blown cries. Why couldn't Arthur understand... I was drained. I wanted my inspiration back. I wanted my old life back, one with Arthur and Percy and Sally... Back when we were younger and things were so light-hearted.

"Don't you get that everything I do is for you? Everything up to this point has been for you alone. And you want to give up out of the blue." Arthur's tone had calmed. He was coming down from his frustrated high. I took a deep breath, wiping my eyes and sitting upwards, prepping to face him.

"You wanted to be apart of the military, did you not?" His gentle voice had sent me into a state of paralyzation. That was true. I wanted to be apart of a group, one that helped people through their dedication and service. After the war... that changed.

"In order to help others, you've got to help yourself first. If you aren't in your right mind then... hell, what do you expect to do for anyone else?"

His words stung with the truth. I was not in the state of mind I needed to be in. But then again things were not the same. As a soldier, I would have needed a strong will, and a passion to keep pushing forward. A mind that found a way to navigate through the dark and clouds to find that one ray of hope that inspired. A dream that allowed me to keep moving onwards.

"You don't have to be in the armed forces to want to achieve that goal, you know."

I didn't need to see his face to know that he was frowning.

"Bloody hell. I don't need you trying anything like that again." The spectacled man stood, slouching over, "I never liked the idea of you being in the militia anyways."

I took hold of his hand, suppressing the tears that threatened to fall. "I'm sorry Arthur," I told him, looking through the crack that had formed in his glasses. The look in his eyes changed from one of frustration to... guilt. The suited man gave a huff, "I just want to protect you. I know you're more substantial than you make yourself out to be. I.. I can't lose you like I've lost everything else."

"I can't imagine life without you. It's bad enough without Percy. You're my only hope."

"You made me understand what I want to do with my future."

I could feel my face burning up from embarrassment. I hiccupped, and let the tears I was holding back fall onto my cheeks. I was naive. I didn't understand him, but it all seemed so clear now.

I was his dream. I was what he got up for day by day. I was what pushed him to want to find his brother, and I was the reason he still happened to find good in this hell hole of a world. Even when he was off his joy.

"I've changed my mind. I don't want to be apart of the armed forces in the future."

Arthur sat back down, almost hitting his head on his part of the bunk bed with his height, but avoiding contact with the metal anyways. I held back a laugh through my watery eyes and returned to my sincerity once he placed his hand on top of mine.

"The only future I want is with you. I want you. I need you... You became my new dream without me even realizing it. I refuse to have this one leave me. Arthur, I..."

His hand was warm but calloused, and it gave me a feeling of... Home. The home I hadn't been to in years. "I didn't know I could have that kind of impact on you," He spoke sheepishly, "But I can't deny that... this is a really good feeling."

It went quiet after that. And I don't think either of us knew what to do in the midst of the silence until we looked up at each other, Arthur averting his eyes nervously.

It wasn't until I gravitated towards him that I realized what I was doing, what I wanted to do, what I needed to do... I sat next to him at the edge of our bed, scooting next to him so that I was almost nuzzled into his arm. He only moved his hand behind me a bit, giving me more room to get close.

I looked up to a blushing Arthur through my reddened eyes. I gave a small sigh. My hand moved to his leg for support, and after a few seconds, I leaned upwards and kissed him on the cheek. I could hear him audibly gasp as I lingered in his space, returning to my seat next to him before. He gave an awkward cough, visibly shriveling up from embarrassment.

But when his hand cupped my cheek to turn me to face him, I nearly melted. I adjusted, and he leaned in slowly, sending a wave of warmth throughout my body. When his lips finally met my own, I couldn't help the soft noise that I made. The arm that rested behind me found my hips, sliding me closer to him. I was almost shaking out of happiness, but he found a way to provide the stability I needed. His lips moved softly against mine, with inexperience. That inexperience was made up by the amount of love and genuine emotion in the kiss.

And then it ended, us just looking up at each other subtle smiles creeping onto our faces as we shied away from each other. It was.. short and sweet. And meaningful, most of all.

"I hope it doesn't bother you that you were my first kiss. Heh."

"Well that just makes things even more special."

I crawled back into my own bed and lay on my back, crossing my legs over each other and resting my hands behind my head. Arthur climbed his way onto the top bunk and from my point of view, it looked like he was struggling. I heard him flop onto his bed with a content sigh. I couldn't help my smile. "You've got the heart of a soldier in you [y/n]. There's no doubt about that. You just have to believe a bit more."

I was so glad to hear that. So happy that I had hidden my face in my hands to refrain from squealing. He must have heard, because when I peeked from behind my hands the next few seconds later, there was Arthur, hanging from upside down on his top bunk, looking over me like how he would when we were younger and liked to play around in the trees.

I crawled on over to him, at eye level with the Wellie of a man, "Sir yes sir." I raise my hand to salute, and he rolls his eyes in return, mumbling about how goofy I was being, despite the situation we were just in. I wanted to go places with him. I wanted to live and learn by his side, and from the look in his eyes, I could tell that he had intentions of doing the same. It needn't be said.

It was clear enough. We loved each other. I just couldn't believe it took so long for that to come to light.

I leaned in to peck him on his lips. He'd almost fallen off of the bed... but he managed.

"Thank you for giving me at least some kind of hope Arthur."

"And thank you for staying with me this whole time. I'm not sure I'd be here right now without you..."

With that, we head to sleep, preparing for our next adventure together.