The next morning, Lennox awoke before her alarm. She didn't even try to go back to sleep. She had fallen asleep early the night before. So, she grabbed her laptop and booted it up, leaning back against her headboard. She hadn't written much lately, and she wanted to change that.

She started typing. Before she knew it, her fingers began flying across the keyboard, and a knot of mixed emotions grew within the pit of her stomach. Slowly, as her fingers flew across the keyboard, creating a melody for her ears, she felt it release. Something about the typing felt so freeing. Something about pounding her feelings onto keys, and that being transcribed into letters that created words, felt amazing to her.

She glanced at the clock and realized it was time to get ready for school. Before she closed her laptop, she glanced over the words on the screen. This time, she didn't channel her feelings through a work of fiction. Everything on the page was a hundred percent true, and it wasn't over yet. She hadn't even gotten to where she was now.

She closed the laptop and got ready for the day. The whole time, from when she brushed her teeth to when she swiped chapstick over her cracked lips, she thought about what she had allowed herself to write. She'd never kept a diary. She'd never been one to write down what was going on in her life. All she had wanted was to write fictional stories and to escape in them. She wanted to channel her emotions in a way she knew she could control. This was something different. Something new. Something that oddly felt freeing.

Instead of eating breakfast that morning, she walked down stairs and contemplated how she would get a ride to school. She had told her mom last night. Well, it wasn't like her mom didn't noticed that her windshield was shattered, or that someone had taken a sledgehammer to her hood. Her car had been brought to a shop, and her mom was clearly upset. She had wanted to go to the police, but Lennox didn't. She had offered her a ride to school, but she would get her own. Her mom didn't need to worry about high school drama.

Now, she sat on the kitchen counter, scrolling through her phone with her bag on her back. Who could she call? She couldn't call levi again since he went to the other school. She suddenly smiled to herself, hit a contact, and brought the phone to her ear.

"Hey, do you mind picking me up?"

"Of course I don't mind! I'll be there in ten," Chad said.

"Thanks," Lennox replied. She hung up and set her phone on the counter. He'd taken her home last night, and she appreciated that. She appreciated him. Faith and Trey hadn't even bothered to show up the night before. They knew how she was feeling. They knew what had happened. They should've known she didn't need them to be acting petty.

She hopped off the counter when Nora walked into the kitchen. Nora froze at the sight of her. They hadn't seen each other since the previous morning. That was before Lennox knew what Isla did. That was before Nora refused to tell her that her car had been damaged.

"Lennox, I'm sorry. I saw it outside and I didn't know how to tell you," Nora said. She took a step towards her sister. Her blonde hair had been pulled away from her face, so Lennox could see the sincerity in her expression. She could see the remorse and worry in her blue eyes, and the way her lips tugged down into a frown.

"You didn't have to act all strange. My sister is the last person I need to turn on me. Again."

"I'm sorry, okay? It's just, you kind of have a temper," Nora huffed.

Lennox rolled her eyes. "Yeah, because if you hadn't had your license revoked and if you had a car, then I'm sure you'd be so happy to see it wrecked."

Her eyes widened. "Len, that's not what I meant!"

"Yeah, I'm sure it's not."

Lennox shouldered past her. Her anger was resurfacing. After everything she had been through with Isla, and after all she had done to recover and rediscover herself, things were starting to crash and burn. She felt like she was doomed to crash and burn for her whole life. She felt like she was going to lose her sanity piece by piece.

She walked out of the door and stood in the driveway. Chad had feelings for her, right? She felt that at least he had to be real. At least Levi had to be her true friend. At least someone had to care about her. She hated crying and weakness with everything in her being. As she felt the first tear roll down her face, she wondered why her stupid eyes had to betray her. She wondered why, after everything, this would be a breaking point.

After she broke away from Isla, she didn't cry. The last time she had cried was three years ago, and that had been because her grandmother had died. She had made a vow to herself to never show weakness again. Not when she walked into school crying after receiving the news in the car with her mother, and Isla slapped her for it.

Now, she didn't even bother to wipe the tears off her face. She didn't care when Chad pulled up in his stupid, expensive Ford. She just climbed in and slammed the door shut, buckling her seat belt and quietly telling him to drive.

"Len, you can talk to me," Chad whispered.

She squeezed her eyes shut and leaned her head against the headrest. "You won't judge me? Won't call me weak?"

"No. Never."

She finally swiped a hand across her eyes. "I feel like the world is against me. I feel like I'm bound to crash and burn. First, everything with Isla. I was bitter for a year, and then I finally found a friend in Faith. She met Trey. I also met Levi going to Starbucks with her. Now, I have no idea what's going on with that couple. My sister and I had just gotten closer, and now I don't know. I don't fucking know, Chad. I'm so fucking tired of everything and everyone. I've never been suicidal, but I'm beginning to think it would be better if I was dead and didn't have to deal with this. Would everyone be happy?"

She hadn't realized they were already parked in the school parking lot. She feverishly wiped her eyes, glad she hadn't worn mascara that day.

"I don't know who to hate; myself or the world," Lennox said.

Chad wrapped her in a hug. She buried her head in his chest. He didn't smell like coffee, like Levi. He didn't really smell like anything. His touch was comforting either way. He rubbed circles in her back. He didn't try to spout wisdom. He just let her rant and ramble and cry until her tears and words ran dry.

"I wouldn't be happy if you weren't in the world anymore," Chad said quietly.

She smiled ever so slightly, pulled away from him. She quietly thanked him and exited the vehicle. After checking herself in the side mirror, she smoothed her hair and headed towards the school, readjusting her bag on her shoulder.

Chad wordlessly walked beside her, a beckon of comfort. He reached for her hand, silently giving her permission to say no. She allowed him to take her hand with a slight nod, squeezing his hand as they entered the school. She didn't care what anyone thought. She didn't care what anyone said. She. Didn't. Care.

He walked her to her locker, claiming he didn't need anything from his. After, they walked to the first class of the day: English. They had it together, and Faith had it with them.

As soon as Lennox entered the class, she realized Faith wasn't there. She just sat in the back with Chad. He kept trying to get her to smile, but the simple act felt so difficult for her. Where was Faith? Was Trey there? The group chat had been oddly silent.

The class droned on. They read a passage and answered some simple questions. Lennox felt better after doing such a mundane task. She tried to lose herself in her school work for the rest of the day.

She didn't see Trey until lunch. He stormed up to her, hands balled into fists and anger flashing in his eyes. Chad took a step forward as if to protect Lennox, but she pushed him aside. She could handle herself.

"What did you do, Lennox?"

She blinked at him. "What did I do? That's rich."

He shook his head. "They were right about you."

"Who?"

"Everyone. This entire school hates you. Don't you fucking understand that? I thought you were the one in the right. I felt bad for you. Now, I know they were right. I know the monster you are."

"What are you talking about? I didn't do anything! You and Faith didn't show up to Starbucks yesterday! You're the ones who have been so engrossed in yourselves that you haven't had time for me. You don't get to come over here and try to make me feel bad about myself. I've had too many people try to do that, and it ends now." She stabbed a finger into his chest, her anger practically radiating off her in waves. "You can take your bullshit and shove it up your ass."

"Okay. Play it like that."

"Where is she? She couldn't tell this to me herself?"

"She stayed home because of her parents fighting. You don't understand that she doesn't need you adding to her stress," Trey hissed.

"Yeah, and I don't need you reminding me why I hate this fucking world." She shoved him. Hard. He fell back on his butt in front of a hallway full of students. It was then Lennox realized they had gathered a crowd, and phones were recording the whole ordeal.

Lennox grabbed the nearest person's phone and threw it to the ground, stomping on it and grinding it with the heel of her sneaker. "Who's next?"

People began to back away after that, but most hadn't stopped recording.

"Let's go, Lennox," Chad said gently.

She let him grab her arm and pull her away. She let him pull her into the cafeteria. She barely registered going through the lunch line, or the fact that Chad brought her outside. She slide down the wall and placed her hot lunch in her lap. It seared her legs through her jeans, and she felt those stupid tears at the back of her eyes.

"I guess they weren't the friends you thought they were," Chad said.

She nodded, staring at her food.

"Lennox?" He asked.

She drummed her fingers against her leg, staring down at her lunch. "How could he say those things to me? What did I do to Faith? What did I do? How dare he!" She clenched her hands into fists. It took a lot of self control for her to not hurl her food at the ground, or the wall, or Trey's face.

A hand fell on her knee. "Sometimes, it takes a while for people's true colors to come out. I guess it was for the best. If you'd found out later, they could've done more damage."

She leaned her head back against the wall. "Faith was my first friend in a year. I never thought sweet little Faith could be so cold hearted. I never thought the world could be so cruel. Look at what they did to me; they cracked me. The cracked the walls I had built. Now I'm too damn emotional."

"It's human. Remember, you're a human, not an emotionless machine."

She sighed. She finally took the plastic off her food and shoved a steak finger into her mouth. Maybe she could distract herself by eating. Maybe food would make it all go away.

Lennox leaned her head against Chad's shoulder. He'd have to be her rock.

____

So, a lot happened in this chapter. It just flowed out of me. I'm really angry at certain characters right now...

Predictions?

-Sarah