{ ⚠️warning this chapter has heavy Dark content please read with caution, and if you're feeling any of these feelings call the suicide hotline, talk to someone you trust or you can pour out your feelings to me, I'm here for anyone and everyone remember that⚠️}

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Rosé Pov

Christmas actually went pretty well for me it was the most fun I've ever had, taehyung was so out-going he kept making me laugh so much that day that my stomach was hurting and my cheeks were so red that it looked like he was making me blush. He made sure I stayed warm the entire night and keep asking about me throughout the day.

I can't let him get too close cause it'll really rub him the wrong way once he sees my mental breakdowns.

I smile slightly looking at the jacket on my couch then I grab it " I should give it back to him" I scrunch up my nose then I put it on my forearm as I grab my backpack and swing it on my shoulder.

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I make it to school looking for taehyung then I run into the two bullies " Marcella & Penelope" stops me dead in my tracks I really don't have time for them.

"Excuse me I have to go" I whisper softly
"Who do you think you are being bold?" Penelope says feistily, I sigh softly then I try to push past them, Marcella pushes me up against the locker then looks down at my hands.

"That's taehyung's jacket? How the hell you get so close to him" she scoffs " yeah no fucking way, first you steal my boyfriend then you're trying to steal my crush now?, you're unbelievable!" She puns me against the lock really hard causing my skin to be pinched on the locker, I whimper in pain trying to push her off of me.

"Stop you're hurting me" I whimper
"And?" Penelope laughs " so how did someone like you get close to Taehyung? A popular guy mind you"

"Don't forget handsome as well" Marcella adds, Penelope shoves mw harder into the locker causing something to pierce in my skin and I feel warm liquid going down my arm.

"She got close to be by being a decent human" I look into the direction of the voice and see taehyung pulling their hands off me and he grabs my wrist pulling me toward him I look at my arm to see the blood draining down my arm. I try to cover it with my hand so taehyung doesn't go ape shit but he saw it before I could cover it.

"Let's go to the nurse" he comments
"Oh no it's okay , I'm okay"
"You're not okay rosé, please understand it's okay to feel pain , but it's also not okay to bottle it up , feeling the need to cry doesn't make you weak, it proves you're strong, now let's go to the nurses office " he grabs my wrist softly as we walk past them

"You'll get your karma" he comments.

We make it to the nurses office and she had stopped the bleeding and stitched me up, but around the wound was bruised and purple, it hurt so much that I couldn't lift my arm up , I had to hold ice on it. I told taehyung to go to his class but he insisted on staying with me as the nurse patched me up. She hands me a pain killer with a cup of water.

"It's enough to get you through the day okay? You're still going to feel pain, but not that much" she smiles
"Okay thank you" I reply , she leaves the room and taehyung stands up and grabs the cup of water out my hand " you want some?" I ask, he tilts my chin up with his index and thumb fingers. One placed on my chin and another under.

"Open" he comments I slightly open my mouth then he pours some water in my mouth I swallow it " put the pill on your tongue" I do as he says then he pours more water in my mouth as I swallow both the pill and the water together he pours the rest of the water out.

"I could've did that, but thank you" I comment
"I didn't want you too, your arm is kinda fucked up" I smile then, I get up slowly from the little bed and taehyung places his hands on my waist as he picks me up then places me down on the ground he looks at me and shows a boxy smile. "Let's hangout after school" He asks softly I feel his cold breath on me and that's when I realize how close we are. My face starts to turn a little red then I cough

"Yea-um sure let's do that" I say
"Good, cmon let me walk you to class" he opens the door for me and I start to go out of the office but the nurse clutches onto my hand

"I'm sorry but she can't leave we don't want her to injure herself any worse due to her Injury, you can go get both of your works and you can stay here if you'd like, let me write you a free pass" she says smiling taehyung shakes his head then he gets a pass and goes to our classes to get our work.

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Time went by fast just taehyung and I,  in this doing our work and occasionally taking breaks to crack jokes or tell stories to each other. Taehyung told me the story of how he took hide and seek to the extreme and climbed a tree so no one would check him, but he ended up breaking his ankle.

"So what about your childhood?" He says softly while grabbing a apple slice
I shrug slightly " wasn't the most entertaining"
"Why not?, did you grow up misfortunate , or you didn't live with your parents?" He says crunching on apples

"Let's just say my parents didn't allow me to do much nor did they like much that I did" I laugh off , that's a can of worms I don't wanna open to quite yet may cause him to run away like everyone else. How do you tell someone ' hey I suffer from anxiety and I'm bullied a lot ' you can't right?

"Well if you'd like we can pretend we're kids again and do all those fun things all over again" there it goes. That beautiful boxy smile, how does your smile get like that the world may never know.

"That sounds fun" I force a smile hoping he doesn't catch the pain in it.

"Remember!! You're leaving soon stop making plans and you know you're going to leave this earth breaking a lot of hearts" my subconscious yells at me. I start writing my essay again, I look at the time and it's almost time for classes to let out I look at taehyung and he's sketching different types of eyes and shading them in differently.

"You're an artist too huh?" He looks up at me giving me that boxy smile "yeah I love to draw you?"

"Love? More like adore , it doesn't even feel like a passion to me anymore , it's just apart of me" and also something that keeps me happy , more like the only thing that makes me happy.

" I agree, will that be your major when you go to college?"
"Yeah , I would love to peruse in it and get a job in it, what do you wanna do with your major?" I ask

"Hm I don't know yet maybe animation , I've never really thought about it but maybe before we graduate I'll get it together" he smiles , I smile back at him but a genuine smile. I feel his energy it feels good.

" I hope you do" I comment

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Taehyung and I are swinging on the swings as I feel the wind just go through my hair and lungs. I close my eyes just taking in the sunlight as it wraps me in warmth. I keep going higher and higher with every swing as if it was my last swing. Earth literally give me mixed feelings.

One minute it's cold, icy
and distant

One minute it's warm, therapeutic ,
and welcoming.

One side is when
I'm with my parents.

The other is when
I'm with taehyung.

It's weird in a sense ,
but it's not bad.

"Hey rose?" I hear his soft deep voice, I open my eyes and noticed that I've stopped moving and taehyung is right behind me , I get up then walk with him over to a lake we sit on the grass.

"So when did it start?" He says breaking the slience , I look over at him and his eyes are already on me
"When did what start?" I ask , I obviously know what he's asking but I really don't wanna get into too deeply

"The bullying, and does that cause you to self harm" I look up at the last question he asked how does he know about that? How did he even see that? I pull my sleeves down as I feel my tears forming up in my eyes.

"Horizontal for suicide , vertical for attention" he replies , I look up at him and he's looking at the water my breathing starts to become short and jagged . How does he know that? Has he tried it?, I then look down at my fingers shaking.

" I know because I have a scar and a memory to prove it, even a mother who scolds at me from time to time, now I'm not allowed to be alone anymore in the comfort of my own home, and a dad who asks me everyday if I'm okay"

"At least they care" I breathe , then my eyes shoot open and he's really staring at me harder now , his eyes start to tear up a bit .

Rosé you said it out loud..

" I- didn't mean it like my parents don't care- I'm just saying at least they care you should be grateful for that" I say trying to cover up my mistakes.

Are you stupid?

" yeah that is true, I should be glad that they care and notice, and what I also notice is that you're patiently waiting on a time to leave this earth" he says softly , my breathing starts acting up again , how is he aware of these things? He picks up body language so fast.

" please don't go.." he breathes in slowly " I know that's Avery cliché thing to say but... please don't go.. I just started to get to know you , and honestly I need a friend like you, yes I have the rest of the boys and I can have any other friend girl , but you're different, you have an entirely different energy, something I want to save" he wipes his face then sniffs.

"You heard the story of the girl who committed suicide?" He says softly , I can just hear the cracks in them , he's still broken , more broken than I could ever be. For a person who is already way past beating broken and who has tried to kill themselves still has the strength to get up and help others. Still had the strength to smile.

So what is my problem?

"Um- yoongi told me a girl did , he didn't go into details" I say softly finally grasping my courage
" the girl who committed suicide jumped off the building of the top of this school, saying her final last words and who she blamed for it and why as they were trying to get up to the top and persuade her into not doing it but the last thing she said to me was...." He voice cracks entirely and his body shutters , I sit next to him and rub his arm softly , I get like this sometimes I can't breathe when I talk about heavy topics. So I understand what he's feeling right now.

" I love you.." he breathes heavily my eyes widen and I really look down at him silently asking the questions through my eyes at him " she was my girlfriend..." , I close my eyes at the words that spilled out his mouth I was really hoping he didn't say those two words.

" so you can imagine how I felt seeing that, we had to stay out of school for a long time until they did investigations and give us all time to grief especially me" he says softly he turns and grabs my hand intertwining them together.

" please believe me when I say this, you radiate a different energy and I want you alive more than you think, I know you're thinking in your head how could I care so much about someone I barely know , well I do sweetie I care a lot" his hands begin to shake and my eyes begin to pour out water, he hugs me by my head into his chest and I just let it all out. I haven't had someone care this much about me. I haven't had someone paying attention to me this much , I haven't had anyone that wanted to help me in a positive way. I feel him kiss the top of my head as he caresses my back softly.

I've never had a shoulder to cry on..

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Yoongi pov

I sit on the couch next to namjoon as Jungkook flips through movies to see what we could watch, it sucks that we can't watch horror films without hoseok screaming and hugging onto people , accompanied by seokjin screams as well, so we have to either settle for comedy or nothing at all.

Well I lied maybe an action movie..

"Hey where's taehyung?" Jimin asks
"I don't know, I tried calling him but he didn't answer" Jungkook replies as he finally finds a movie for us to watch. , as were twenty minutes into the movie taehyung walks in the door taking off his shoes we all just look at him waiting for him to speak.

"Sorry guys, I had stuff to do and I'm tired you guys can watch the movie though I'm going to bed" He says showing half the boxy smile, I frown up at him then he walks into his room. Everyone just shrugs their shoulders and they focus back on the movie, but my mind still puzzles me about the facial expression, it seemed that wherever he was has him scared and stressed. I wanna ask but I don't wanna push him.

"You peeped it too?" Namjoon nudges me
"Yea I did, I'll ask him later" I say softly

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Rosé pov

I headed back outside to go get some medicine and junk good for me cause we don't have anything to snack on, and my brother and I are getting a little sick so I thought I'd get us something. As I'm grabbing stuff in target for my brother and I , I hear a group of girls laughing that I can't mistake even if I wanted to times, like this I just wish I was deaf.

I just shake the thought out and grab the medicine and the few snacks, I walk up to the cashier as she rings me up.

" I love your shirt, it's really cute" the cashier smiles at me
"Thank you I got it from Burlington"
"I shop there too it's so cheap"
"It really is I love it, I shop there for everything"she hands me my receipt and we say our goodbyes and I walk out the store but I feel someone grab me by my jacket hoodie and slam me against the wall of a alleyway

I look at Marcella and Penelope but then I see these new girls standing behind them. "So explain how you got to talk to taehyung" Marcella states

"I was introduced to him, why does it matter? He's not yours" I spit back
"He will be! And I don't need a little brat like you interrupting my fucking plans!" She slaps me across my face " you really think you're all of that and you're something special , guess what you're not! You're nothing but a toxic dysfunctional human" she pushes me against the wall harshly I start shaking slightly ,then she laughs "aww poor baby, she's shaking no one gives a fuck" she punches me as i slide down the wall then she kicks me in my rib cage. and i feel some hot liquid pouring down on my skin

"stay away from taehyung , next time stay away' they laugh and walk away leaving me in the vulnerable state, i ball up as i cry softly in this alleyway.

why me? why am i like this?

why do i have to suffer?

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i get home and i run upstairs and close the door locking it behind me i throw my jacket on the floor as i sit in the chair in front of my vanity, i look upon my busted lip and red eyes, with a feature from my swollen cheeks. I look at my reflection to see how everyone else sees me.

Weak

Cold

Dark

But most importantly

Useless

I open my drawer and see a bottle of pills I then pull it open more to see a razor. Grabbing the razor but it's handle, I pull out my arm and start cross-hatching it feeling no pain or remorse for my skin right now, it feels good, it's as if I'm not even hurting myself more like getting a massage on your scalp when you've washed your hair. I wake up out of my reality when I see a bunch of scarps leaking of red liquid. I stop the cross-hatching and proceed to slash my other arm. Looking at both of them I smile slightly feel relived. I wipe the excess blood off of both my arms. Grab a pain killer , swallow it and get in the bed.

"Sooner then you think I'm going to be with you, maybe the next world will be better than this..."

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Authors note ;

Hey! Yeah this one is a little more darker than the other chapters, I'm sorry if it triggers you but it's kinda what the story is about. And I wanted to spread that awareness around. That you should check up on your friends every now and then, you should show them a little love, you should talk to them. Because you never know what's going through their heads.

It doesn't take much to show someone you care🦋

Anyways I hope y'all enjoyed reading this and read it with caution , if you ever need someone to talk to.

My DMs are open , I have a twt in my bio talk to someone really close to you. Or write it in a journal and rip it up, shred it . Or talk to the suicide hotline🦋 never be afraid of help. Because someone will gladly help you, including me