Soon, it was the announcement of prom royalty. Runsberger began preparing to make the announcement, setting the two crowns atop the podium. The king's crown was robust and masculine, silver appendages protruding from every inch of its circular base like icicles. The queen's crown was more subtle and feminine, its circular base thin, with only a half arch on its front encrusted with fake silver diamonds. The king's crown obviously slayed in comparison to the queen's. No surprise there.

Before he spoke into the microphone, Runsberger looked around at all of us, and I could see disgust in his eyes, probably because he saw so many boys in dresses. Then he said, "It is time for the moment you have all been waiting for. Are you ready to learn who this year's prom royalty are?"

Most of the onlookers shouted, with Runsberger's squad of bros outdoing everyone, pumping their fists and screaming "hoo, hoo, hoo" like a pack of dogs. I wondered if Dennis was in that crowd, or if Adree's shocking #GirlsHitToo moment had made him slink into a corner somewhere.

"Let's get to it then." He waited for the howling to die down, before starting, "This year's prom king is," and then he paused dramatically, pretending to be surprised when he finally said, "Chad Anderson!"

"Big surprise," I said as Chad made his way up to the podium, each of his friends hitting him on the back as he passed, with the exception of Dennis, who didn't seem to be amongst them.

As soon as Runsberger had coronated Chad and given him the manliest handshake ever, he went on: "This year's prom queen is... Adree Richards!"

Adree must have been surprised when she finally realized Valerie's name hadn't been spoken, because she stood there, mouth hanging open like a yawning caveman's.

"Adree, smile and wave!" I whispered. "You're a queen now!" I smacked her bottom lightly to give her a push forward, and her mouth closed and quickly turned to smile at me. Then she made her way up to the podium, and Runsberger greeted her with an unfriendly smile, probably because she'd gotten the Los Angeles Times to put him in a bad light again.

I looked behind me for Valerie and found her right away. I'd been half expecting her to be smaring, watching someone else wear the crown that so many of us knew was meant for her, but she wasn't. She was smiling, genuinely and warmly, like she had been in that picture of her and Adree from eighth grade. She saw me looking and came to stand next to me.

"Can I say something?" Chad asked Runsberger, and the sound came through the microphone clearly, and I turned back to him.

"Certainly, Chad. We'd love to hear what you have to say." Of course you would, I thought; after all, Chad was one of his bros.

"Okay. Yeah. Hey everyone!" Chad waved, waiting for our attentiveness. "I can't believe it's almost the end of my time here at Crystal Shore High School. All of my seniors, I'm gonna miss you!"

Chad's bros screamed out, and he shushed them, clearing his throat to speak some more. "Okay. It seems like the F-word has been a pretty big theme here at CSHS. You know, feminism. I used to think feminism was pretty stupid. I used to say things like...women have equal rights already, so why does it need to exist? You want women to be engineers? Women are engineers already. But now I see how much deeper all this stuff goes." Here, he started to look like he got really nervous, but he pressed onward. "Like, how there aren't that many women engineers because girls aren't encouraged to be engineers, or because there is so much sexual harassment in those fields that they are discouraged from getting or maintaining a job..."

"No way did he come up with this speech," I said out loud.

"You're right," Valerie whispered from next to me. "Ms. Brooks helped him. But it was all part of his plan."

"His plan to...what?"

"Shhh."

I tuned back into what he was saying. "...my girlfriend Val went to a college party a couple weekends ago, and she was telling this group of engineering majors that she's gonna be in the aerospace program at Cal State, and those guys were such jerks to her, making the rudest comments. The only nice things they said to her were about her body. That made me realize how much she is gonna need feminism in the coming years. How much all girls need feminism. Not all girls have helpful parents or strong friends or feminism to help them. That's why it's pretty awesome what girls like Adree and Dallas are doing."

Runsberger put his hand on Chad's shoulder and squeezed, a clear "let's wrap this up" gesture, but Chad ignored him.

"Tradition says that there should be a prom King and Queen, the King to wear this crown and the Queen to wear that ... tiara," he pointed to Adree. "But why should a guy always get to wear this crown? Why should the couple chosen always be a boy and a girl? I think we can all agree the most influential couple at our school this year was Adree and Dallas, and that's why I think that Dallas should be wearing this crown tonight."

Mr. Runsberger was putting his hands up to push Chad aside, like he was about to take back what Chad had said, but then everyone was clapping and pushing me forward, and he just had to pretend smile at me as I walked up the stage in a daze.

"Wow," I said when I reached the podium, wondering if I had floated there, standing still as Chad placed the far-too-big crown on my head. "Thanks, dude," I told him, and he winked at me, saying, "Stay metal, Delaney," as he descended the stairs back into the crowd.

Then I looked at the crowd, which was evidently waiting for me to say something, so I did. "When I said I wanted to be able to enjoy the perks of masculinity, I wasn't thinking about the perk of wearing a King's crown. But yeah...this crown slays! And, um...yeah. We're both really happy we've made such an influence on you all." I didn't know what else to say. Speaking to hundreds of faces in person was way different than speaking into a webcam. My voice was shaky, my thoughts were racing, and big words were lost to me.

Luckily, Adree saved me. "It really means a lot to us that you've watched us weekly and supported our projects. I can't believe how many of you guys are wearing dresses, and how many of you girls are actually wearing pantsuits."

"It's totally rad," I agreed when she paused, having gained a bit of confidence. Then, feeling enough confidence go into overdrive, I spieled. "I think some of the most important things we've taken away this year are the thoughts that we can curse the script when we don't agree with it. I used to think it was all about whether masculinity or femininity was better, but they both have some strengths, and they're both pretty flawed, too. Maybe we should be encouraged to think critically about our beliefs and actions, about what's influencing them. Just because I'm a girl or a lesbian, or even a smaller subcategory of lesbian, doesn't mean I have to act or dress or think a certain way. We should all be able to write our own scripts; we don't have to let them be written for us."

Most of the audience clapped here, including some school staff members.

Then, Adree said in my ear, "I think it should be part of our script that the King kisses the Queen." So I kissed her, right there, right before Runsberger put his hands on our shoulders and hissed in our ears, "You two really don't want PDA citations, right? Save it for the limo." I'm sure he would have given us PDA citations, but he probably feared that Dylan was livestreaming the prom (he was) and catching all of the other PDA amongst the group of dudebros on camera that Runsberger let slide (there was always a lot of that). Thank goodness for video evidence.

Not long after that, we sat in the back in the metal van (so much better than a limo), heading to an afterparty at some Beachfront house.

Once we got there, Sharkbite and his cover band played hits from The Offspring and Rancid. I'd never watched Sharkbite play his guitar before, and he impressed me. Adree and I stayed for a while, and I showed her different headbanging techniques, and with her dancing skills set, she caught on quickly.

Then she nodded her head toward the stair, so we snuck up there, sneaking out of a sliding glass door and onto a beach-facing patio.

Facing the ocean, we sat on the porch, side by side; she rested on my shoulder.

"I left my phone in the metal van," she said. "I should go get it so we can take a selfie."

"No," I said. "Let's be present in this moment. If you take a selfie and post it, you're just going to be focused on the future, on who's gonna like it and what they're gonna say in the comments."

"I have a really hard time being present," she admitted. "I'm always thinking about the future."

"I'm always trying not to think about the future."

"Why?"

"Because it's unknown. And I have no clue what I'll be doing."

"You really have no idea what you want to do? I assumed you knew."

"No. Do you know?"

"I want to dance. My parents think it's impractical, and they want me to have another major, but I'm not listening to them. But that isn't all I want."

"What else do you want?"

"This." Then she kissed me again,

What was it with the belief that girls don't belong together? The belief that men have penises for a reason and women have vaginas for a reason and we fit together like a perfect puzzle and we should stick to our adjacent pieces? It was a ridiculous belief.

Adree and I fit together pretty perfectly. She was sitting on my lap, facing me, and my legs were slightly apart so that I could feel her lady parts against mine. They didn't go together like puzzle pieces, but that's because we aren't made of cardboard. We're made of flesh. Squishy, fine flesh. Glowing, shapely flesh.

Adree and I kissed under the moonlight, and my hands slid gracefully up her thighs, up her moonlit, glowing flesh, and then I finally got the courage to ask her, "Hey, can I try something on you that I taught myself to do on myself once?"

Smiling, she bit her lip and nodded, touching my hand and scooting it even further up her thigh.

* * *

When I got home later that night, I texted Alex and Benny:

Group

To: Alex, Benny

Sat, May 21 1:20 AM

Dallas

Can I tell you guys a secret?

Alex

U know I love secrets

Benny

Me 2!

Dallas

Something happened between me and Adree upstairs earlier

Alex

WHAT

Dallas

Can't tell it's a secret

Benny

U JUST SAID U WERE GONNA TELL US!

Dallas

Welp, she knows that I cheated on the no shaving challenge

Benny

PLZ TELL US MORE 🙏

Alex

PLZ PLZ PLZ

Dallas

Maybe tmrw IRL, it feels weird to text about this, the government could be reading

Alex

Not amused... 😒

Prom weekend had me so wound up in celebration and romance that I couldn't make myself think of a conclusion for Girls Shit Too. So I sent out a tweet on Monday:

Dallas Delaney @DallasDelaney

Hey peeps! Don't worry, #GST isn't over just yet. I plan to release one final vlog next weekend. Until then, peace!