Adree seemed to be all pissy in English on Monday, despite the fact that Valerie had posted that picture with the two of them. Maybe she was hoping I would screw up in my vlog again so that she could get a good idea for a comeback. My screw-ups were her inspiration, and I'd given her none.

Later, on Twitter, I saw that she had tweeted something.

Adree Richards @AdreeSchmadree_dancer

Should not have looked at Youtube comments while PMSing. Now I want to quit the Internet.

Immediately, my curiosity was piqued. What Youtube comments were so bad they made her want to quit the Internet? So I went lurking through Valerie's Youtube vlogs, starting with the last one: the "Look What I Can Do—Adree-style" video. I found what I was looking for right away.

Steel Man

Well, we know what you can't do, Adree. Look pretty.

Captainushbush

+Steel Man Why do ppl watch her?

Anonymous Bob

+Steel Man her cheeks r really weird

Andrew Kirch

+Steel Man I could never date an asian chick

Captainushbush

+Steel Man she should do us a favor and walk off a bridge.

Part of me felt really bad for Adree, but the other part of me wanted to tell her to toughen up. The Internet was a hostile place; didn't she know that? And she always looked gorgeous; didn't she know that? Adree never didn't look good; everything about her, from her ever-changing hair to her wood-brown eyes to her constantly glossy lips to her ballerina figure, dazzled. Honestly, I didn't know why I hadn't thought much about Adree's gorgeousness in the past.

I'd been dealing with horrible comments since the beginning, and though it still shocked me that people could be so bigoted, that anyone could tell a complete stranger to commit suicide, I just pretended that those people weren't real. They weren't. They were trolls.

But the worst hadn't even come yet.

The worst came after she wrote that tweet about looking at Youtube comments while PMSing.

Cade Becker @BecktheHalls

.@AdreeSchmadree_dancer This is exactly why women can't do masculine things. They're too irrational, unpredictable, crazy, pissy. It's not their fault—it's biology.

Dick Blase @Richard_Blaseforpresident

.@AdreeSchmadree_dancer @BecktheHalls This is why women's place is in the house (and not the house/senate, the actual HOUSE house)

General Adam @AdamAnderson1984

.@AdreeSchmadree_dancer @BecktheHalls Truth. What happens from a PMSing woman in the kitchen is overbaked bread. (1/2)

General Adam @AdamAnderson1984

.@AdreeSchmadree_dancer @BecktheHalls What happens w/ PMSing women in the house or senate is irrational policy. (2/2)

Grievous James @JPickler1994

.@AdreeShmadree_dancer wanting to quit the Internet is proof that women can't do anything. They will always give up when it gets too "hard"

Chad Quagmire @getthatcake234

.@AdreeSchmadree_dancer If it has a vagina; it shouldnt rule are country.

These comments really were worse, I thought, because they weren't from anonymous trolls trying to ignite reaction; they were from real dudes conveying what they believed to be truth.

* * *

Tuesday, I went to lunch with just Eric (Dylan had a cold).

"I can't believe that Adree talked openly about her period like that," I said.

"Why? You want to talk openly about shitting. Isn't it only fair that she gets to talk openly about bleeding?"

"Not when people associate bleeding with weakness."

"You're being unfair and hypocritical," he said, and I turned to scowl at him for not being on my side, and found him smiling. "But that doesn't mean I disagree. I never talk to anyone about my periods."

"You still have periods?"

"I mean, I take medication to continuously suppress them, but sometimes they still happen."

I got the feeling that I might be one of the only people he'd told that to. Right then, I felt like the two of us were really comfortable with one another. "Can I ask you something else?"

"Ask away."

"When did you know you were transgender?"

"I was pretty young. Probably when I started Kindergarten. Maybe earlier."

"How did you know?"

"I just knew."

"Did you know because you didn't like all things that were feminine?"

"No, that wasn't it. I don't dislike things that are feminine. I actually like a lot of things that are feminine still. I just...knew I was boy. It's hard to explain. Why, when did you discover your dislike of femininity?"

"Probably around the same time. But I never questioned whether or not I was a girl."

"Because you are a girl, Dallas. You might not be a very feminine girl, but you're still a girl."

I leaned in closer to him. "Wanna know a secret? I am learning there is a lot about my femininity that I secretly adore."

"Like what?"

"Like the fact that I'm expected to shave. I like being and feeling shaved. And makeup. Mascara makes me feel better on bad days; it really does. I've accepted it. And my hair. I like long hair. I hate to admit it, but I think my confidence is occasionally dependent on my looks. Also, I don't like not wearing a bra."

"This challenge is proving hard for you, isn't it?"

I nodded.

He lifted up his hairy leg, touching it. "I love not having to shave. Ever. Or to have to wear makeup. Or to brush my hair."

"I love your Kurt Cobain hair," I said back, brushing it with my hand. Eric really did have cool hair: wavy and messy, identical to Sharkbite's, except blonde. A true surfer.

He smiled, but it faded when he said, "Not everyone does. People have seriously told me that if I 'want to be a guy' I should 'commit' and cut it shorter."

"Benny tells me that all the time about being a lesbian. But I love my hair."

Eric grabbed my arm and went for the pit. "But not your armpit hair?"

I laughed and shoved him off, before saying, "God no. I'm like one of those men who can't grow a beard. My armpit hair grows in patches." I showed him.

"Well that's gross," he said. "Let me take a Snap."

I pinned my arm down to my side. "No way!"

"Come on; it will help your cause."

"Fine," I said, and let him take a snap with his phone, holding up my arm awkwardly the whole time. Taking a few minutes, he must have captioned it before posting it. "Now show me yours."

He pulled his shirt up.

"Wow," I said, admiring the bush of wild, crimpy light brown hair. "You've got genuine dude pit hair. Impressive."

"You would think, being the super feminist you are, that you would take this chance to embrace your armpit hair. Maybe you can go Miley and dye it."

"No way. I've never understood those feminists. Or the 'bush is better' feminists. I've grown up trimming the hedges and now I can't stand letting them go wild."

"Well, it's not like Adree will ever know if you don't shave down there."

"Exactly," I said with a wink.

Eric's eyes went wide in accusation. "Dallas, you cheater!"

I shrugged. "She'll never know."

"But some lucky lady will, right?"

I felt myself blushing. "Oh, I dunno..."

"See, you do care what society thinks," Eric said. "You're worried that something with someone might happen and they'll be grossed out by your bush."

"You are so off. I'm definitely not shaving because I'm worried that someone is gonna be turned off by my hair." What I was thinking about was how I'd never had any interactions involving someone seeing/feeling my underparts, wondering if Eric had ever had any, and if I should let him know I hadn't. Would he be surprised at my lack of sexual experience? Was this me feeling embarrassed about it? Instead of telling him, I said, "I'm shaving because I don't like the feeling of my hair. And yeah, okay, maybe I started shaving because I wanted to fit my girly role and not have hairy legs or armpits, or a hairy la la, but in answering to society's sexism, I have learned something about myself: I hate body hair on myself. And probably on a future girlfriend, too...unless she insists...and even then..." I suddenly caught myself. "Wow, I sound like a sexist dude."