December 31st, 2007

“You are the biggest pessimist that I have ever met in my entire life,” Lexi informed me through the chatter that went around the room annoyingly. “It’s New Years Eve! You should be excited, Jordan! It’s about to be 2008! A brand new year and a brand new start!”

“It’s not really a brand new start,” I informed her flatly, and she gave me a look. I couldn’t help but sigh. “Sorry. I’m not a party person. You know that.”

I shrugged, leaning back on my couch and looking around at all the people that were in my house. Just a few days before it had been filled like this, expect it was for Christmas instead of New Years. I couldn’t help but wonder if this party was going to be any better than that horrible one.

But really, there was no difference to me, because my parents invited exactly who they had invited for the Christmas party. That meant that there was a large chance Jesse was going to show up, and I hadn’t seen him since he had kissed me on Christmas night.

I was smart enough to invite my four best friends along this time, since Austin and Dallas got invite their own friends again. Cathy, Hunter, George, and whoever else had come to the Christmas party was now at this party as well, and I couldn’t help but feel that my house was over packed.

I left Lexi to go get a drink in the kitchen, seeing my brother do the same as well. I hadn’t seen Emily there at all, which I didn’t really get since she was Austin’s girlfriend and everything.

“Why not invite your girlfriend to the party?” I sneered at my brother when I finally got into the kitchen. My brother smiled at my sheepishly, and I just wasn’t in the mood for anything right then. I wouldn’t be happy or upbeat again until I knew Jesse wasn’t going to come to the party.

“Because I think you should have a chance to talk to her before we start acting like a couple in front of you,” Austin informed me, but I only made a face at him before turning on my heel and starting back out toward the living room to find my friends. “Try to have fun, Jordan!” Austin called after me before I couldn’t hear him any longer.

Yeah, sure, I’d have fun. There wasn’t anything fun about a party with Jesse and Trinity. If only I could poison Trinity’s food so she’d have to go home early like at the Christmas party… If only I could.

Before I could find any of my friends, I was bashing into someone’s chest hard. I was really starting to think that I needed glasses or something, because this was sure happening a hell of a lot.

When I looked up at the person to apologize, it died in my throat.

“We gotta stop meeting this way, Emery,” Jesse smirked, grabbing onto my arm with one hand to stop myself from stumbling.

“I was afraid you’d be here,” I sighed, brushing my hair out of my face. “I’m guessing my parents invited your mom?”

Jesse nodded. “Yep, exactly that.”

I huffed. “So I thought.”

“We brought you a cake,” Jesse grinned as he held it up with his other hand, as if that would make it all better. “It’s chocolate.”

Damn it. That kind of did make things a little better. It was like he knew that it was my favorite or something.

“Go put it in the kitchen,” I informed him flatly, really not in the mood to deal with him. Knowing my luck, he’d probably steal another kiss from me or something. If he did it again, my knee was going to become good friends with his groin.

Jesse nodded at me. “Aye, aye, captain.”

I rolled my eyes at him, turning back toward the party in search of my friends. I may have had a big house with a lot of people inside, but it shouldn’t have been hard to find at least one of them…

I felt my heart plummet into my stomach when I saw who was now standing in front of me. Dallas and Trinity, looking all cute like a couple should. It made me sick to my stomach. Maybe I was the one with food poisoning now.

Maybe if I just kept walking they wouldn’t see me…

“Hi, Jordan!” Trinity greeted, almost cussing me to cuss out loud. “I love your dress!”

I smiled at her, even though I really felt like telling her to screw off. “Thanks. I like yours, too.”

“I told her she looked hot in it, but she didn’t believe me,” Dallas informed me, wrapping his arm around his girlfriend’s waist and pulling her closer to him.

Ugly was the last thing that Trinity was. I hated to admit it, but she was gorgeous, and it just made me feel even more jealous of her. She had beauty and Dallas.

Trinity giggled, wrapping her arms around her boyfriend’s neck and making me sick to my stomach even more. Could I puke because of this? “You’re so cute, Dallas. I love you.”

I felt my whole body stiffen just from those three words. I had assumed that they had told each other this before, but I hadn’t ever heard either of them say it. I felt myself hoping and praying that Dallas wouldn’t say it, but I knew that I was asking for too much.

He smiled down at his girlfriend. “I love you, too.”

I felt tears spring to my eyes, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I hated that I was getting so damn emotional, and I wanted to cry without anyone there to judge me. I spun on my heel, starting off toward the stairs before either Dallas or Trinity could stop me.

I barged into my room, slamming my door shut and collapsing onto my bed. I didn’t cry right away, and I didn’t really understand why. But after I laid there and thought about it for about a minute or two, I felt the tears sliding down my face almost rapidly.

When I heard my door open, I sat up as quickly as I could have and wiped my face. Did someone think that this was a bathroom or something? It would be so embarrassing to be caught crying by some stranger!

But I would have loved for it to be a stranger than who actually stood before me. I felt myself scowl when I saw Jesse in the doorway, whose face was a mix between surprise and a smirk.

“Get out,” I growled.

“Are you all upset because your boyfriend is practically all over some blonde bimbo out there?” Jesse asked, and I didn’t even have to look up at him to know that he was smirking. It did make me feel a little better that he called her a bimbo, though. “I told you he was going to hurt you.”

“He isn’t my boyfriend,” I blurted before I even knew it, and I felt myself internally slap myself in the face. There went almost two months of pretending! “… He never was my boyfriend. He’s just a really good friend of mine.”

Jesse stared at me for a few moments, and I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. For the first time, I just couldn’t read his face. I just didn’t know what he was thinking. He didn’t look like he was about to laugh or make fun of me, but with Jesse, you never knew.

He continued to stay silent, and I just wanted him to laugh at me or something. It would have been better than him just standing there staring at me. Just laugh at me and get it over with, Jesse… You caught me in a lie!

Jesse eyed me wearily. “Oh. So you like him.”

“No,” I snapped, shaking my head as quickly as my neck would let me. “I don’t like him. You’re crazy for thinking I do.”

It wasn’t exactly a lie. But the last thing I was going to do was tell Jesse Jacobsen who I was in love with. Everything would just turn out worse if he knew.

“Yeah, and that’s why you’re sobbing up here in the dark in your room,” Jesse drawled flatly, shoving his hands into his pockets as he continued to stare down at me. “You’re a really bad liar.”

“Well, sorry,” I spat, standing up now so I was now face-to-face to him. He looked surprised at how close I had gotten to him on my free will, but he didn’t step away from me. He stared right back with as much intensity as I was. “I’m not coldhearted and careless like you. I have feelings, which isn’t very surprising for normal people. But you wouldn’t understand. All you care about is yourself and getting a good laugh out of everything.”

Jesse didn’t smile or laugh like I expected him to. “If you really knew me, Emery, you’d know that I’m not what you think I am.”

I glared up at him. “Then prove it.”

Jesse smirked at me, and I didn’t remove my eyes from his. “Well, if I were to prove it, you wouldn’t have that cute little dress on any longer.”

My fist went flying to his chest, making contact with his shoulder. He didn’t even flinch; his eyes didn’t even leave mine. He wasn’t smirking any longer, and I was practically frozen with my fist again his. How had that not hurt? Sure, I wasn’t the strongest person on the planet, but didn’t all punches hurt?

Jesse smirked again. “It’s so cute how you think you can hurt me.”

I sent my fist flying again, but this time at his face. It had to hurt getting hit in the face, no matter what you were hit with. But before I could come into contact with his face, his hand blocked me and grabbed onto my closed fist. I tried to remove my hand from his grasp, but he was true strong for me. I tried to hit him with my other hand, but he grabbed onto my arm before I could barely even do anything.

His face was really close to mine, and for a moment I thought he was going to kiss me. But he didn’t, and I was almost grateful for that. He grinned wryly at me. “You have no idea what I’m capable of doing. Or feeling.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” I found myself asking, not even trying to get out of his grasp anymore. “Me not knowing what you’re capable of just proves that I shouldn’t have anything to do with you. I’m not pursuing any type of relationship with you, you are.”

“We really don’t know each other,” Jesse nodded, his grip on me tightening even more. “But I don’t think we’re any different from how close you and Dally are.”

“Dallas and I are close,” I defended, trying again to get out of his grasp to no avail. “We’re closer than you and I ever will be.”

I bit the inside of my lip to stop tears from forming in my eyes. Of course Jesse was going to remind me that Dallas was never going to be mine. That was probably the whole reason why he had followed me up into my room, just so he could make fun of me.

“You sure about that, Emery?” he asked, leaning closer so his lips were right by my ear. I felt his breath against my neck, and I would have pushed him away if I could. “You don’t think we could ever be more than what we are right now? You think we’ll be enemies forever?”

I bit the inside of my cheek before saying, “We will be enemies forever. There isn’t a thing you could do to make me feel any differently toward you.”

Jesse seemed to think for a second. “Even if I saved you from some crazy stalker guy that claims he’s in love with you?”

I couldn’t help but scowl. “This isn’t the song Hey There, Delilah or anything, dumbass. There’s no way in hell anything like that would ever happen to me out of everyone in the world. You’re crazy for even thinking it’s possible.”

“I guess I am,” Jesse grumbled, still not moving away from my ear.

“Let me go,” I finally ordered, squirming in his grasp now. “Get out of my room and just leave me alone. I came up here so I could be alone, not so I could be bothered by you.”

“You’re not going to go back outside to your own party just because of Dally and his girlfriend?” Jesse asked me, finally moving away from my ear but still having a tight grip on my hand and my arm. “You didn’t seem like the type to act like this.”

“I’ve had to deal with Dallas and Trinity ever since I was ten-years-old,” I mumbled, staring down at our feet so I wouldn’t have to look at him. “When they first got together, I was too young to think about what really went into a relationship. I thought they were just really good friends, and that was all they were to me. I didn’t think it was anything serious until I turned twelve. Then I knew what real relationships were and I was crushed. I didn’t leave my room for about a week, and I refused to see Dallas even longer. I can’t even remember the reason I continued talking to him.”

I didn’t know why I was suddenly spilling this all out to Jesse, but it felt good to finally tell someone how I felt after all this time. By now, tears were pouring down my face, and I wasn’t even trying to stop them. I didn’t care how I looked in front of Jesse anymore, at least for now.

“Sometimes…” Jesse started, and I continued to stare at our feet and not his face. “… When you love someone, you just keep coming back no matter what they do to you. No matter what they say or do, you just want to be around them. You want to please them and make them happy, even if you can’t be with them as a lover. You just want to be a part of their life, no matter what you are to them. You just want them to look at you, even if it isn’t the way you want them to. You just… want to be there for them because you love them.”

“I don’t love Dallas,” I denied, my voice cracking after I had said his name. I felt myself shaking now, not knowing what I was supposed to do. “I… I hate him!”

Jesse’s hands move to my shoulders. “Like you hate me?”

I found myself nodded. “Yes!”

His arms wrapped around my shoulders, and I surprised myself by not pushing him away. I just wanted to be held so much right then… even if the person holding me wasn’t Dallas. I just wanted to be able to cry while someone held me, no matter who it was.

“I hate him,” I sobbed into his chest, my fingers curling into his shirt. “All he ever does is tease and make fun of me. He doesn’t even act like a friend sometimes. I hate him so much and yet I still want to be by his side!”

“The person… I care about,” Jesse began, his grip on my shoulders tightening even more, “doesn’t treat me like a friend. She treats me like I’m not even worthy to be the ground she walks on. But, you know what? I’m okay with that. Because I just want to be by her side, too. I want her to be happy, but for her to be happy, I can’t be.”

I pulled away from him just a little but to look up at him. “Jesse…”

He stared down at me, his green eyes piercing my brown ones. “Do you understand what I’m saying?”

I nodded, removing his hands from around me and taking a step away from him. He looked surprised, but said and did nothing to stop me. “I get it. I need to just give up on Dallas,” I nodded, wiping at my eyes to rid the tears that wanted to fall. “Being his friend is enough for me.”

“Yeah, but…”

“And I also wish you luck with that girl you care about,” I smiled, now dropping my arms to my sides. “I hope you don’t act the way you do toward me, or she probably won’t want anything to do with you!”

I laughed, but Jesse didn’t. I then turned around, heading toward the door and back toward the party. What Jesse said made sense; as long as I around Dallas, I was going to be happy.

Jesse didn’t stop me from leaving my room, and I quickly headed downstairs in search of my friends once again. I hoped that it didn’t look like I had been crying, but it honestly didn’t matter to me anymore. People could know I was crying if they wanted to.

“Jordan!” Lexi squealed, suddenly sliding in front of me and stopping me from moving any farther after I had gotten to the bottom of the stairs. “Where have you been? We’ve been looking all over for you!”

I looked behind her to see my three other best friends, and I couldn’t help but smile. I wished that it had been one of them that I had confided in, but I still felt good to finally let it all out to someone.

“I got kind of dizzy, so I went upstairs to lie down,” I lied, jabbing my thumb in the direction of the stairs before starting off toward the kitchen to get something to eat. “Sorry, but I couldn’t find any of you to tell you…”

“Whoa, who brought that cake?” Chelsea asked, her eyes widening as she got closer to the cake Jesse had bought. “It’s definitely homemade and it looks delicious. I’m surprised no one has touched it yet!”

“I think most of the adults here don’t like fatty foods,” I shrugged, walking over to a drawer and pulling out a knife. “And it does look pretty good. You all want a piece?”

The four girls nodded, and I cut the cake as quickly as I could. But before the knife could even touch the plate the cake was sitting on, all I could feel was sticky, wet goo all over me.

The first thing I heard was Aimee scream, and then I heard laughing. Familiar laughing that made me want to go over and punch someone’s lights out.

Jesse burst out laughing in the doorway while my four friends and I stood, covered in cake. Before I could go and wring his neck, he was already long gone so none of us could try to kill him. How dare he do this to us! Especially after what had just happened between us!

What the hell was even in there to make it blow up like that?  Not to mention that it was super dangerous because I had been holding a knife! Where the hell had that gone, anyway…?

“That bastard is…” Aimee started, and I was kind of scared just a little. You wouldn’t like Aimee when she was angry. “… so going down!”

“He ruined our clothes!” AJ whined, trying her best to wipe the cake off of her and her expensive dress. “And he ruined our hair and makeup! He is so going to pay for this!”

“Ten! Nine! Eight!” I heard people shout from the other room, and I assumed that it was only ten seconds to midnight. I didn’t really care very much, and I really didn’t want to be in the other room with Dallas and Trinity, because I knew they were going to kiss once the clock struck twelve. “Seven! Six! Five!”

Lexi and Chelsea looked pissed as well, and I couldn’t help but grin at them. Finally, they were seeing him for who he really was! Now he wasn’t going to be some guy that they teased me about… They were going to hate him as much as I did!

“Four! Three! Two!”

This was so not over, I knew. Even if I wanted it to be, there was no way my friends were going to let that happen. It was definitely a war now, and I wasn’t about to admit that I was actually excited about it. Now I wasn’t the only one that hated Jesse Jacobsen, and he definitely wasn’t going to get away with any of this. I definitely knew what my New Years resolution was going to be.

“One! Happy New Year!”

Revenge was definitely sweeter than this cake could have ever been.

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Happy birthday, Jesse! It's his birthday today! January 18th, 1993 was the day he was born! So he's nineteen today! ;D

And I'm pretty sure you all knew what Jesse was saying when he was talking to Jordan in her room... That girl can just be so oblivious. ;)

The picture on the side makes me laugh. x) It's just so Jordan.

There's... kind of a surprise in the next chapter. Just a little one. So small that some of you might not even catch it... ;D

Please COMMENT, VOTE, and FAN! ;)