I waited.

I wasn't sure what exactly it was that I was waiting for. Seeing him should have sent me out the door. I should have collapsed and sobbed and hopped on the next plane out of here. But I didn't I didn't leave, and I surely didn't feel anything the minute he was dragged into the room.

I forced myself through what I could recall, looking directly at him in hopes he'd shown any remorse in his actions. The rich prick just looked me dead in the eyes and smirked, a dangerous glint in them that I'd seen in so many men over the last seventeen years. A glint that could be deciphered without much trouble.

I take what I want, I get what I want, and I get away with it.

That's exactly what he did. He got away with it. Half a year of probation because he was still a minor, and a nice hefty slap on the wrist.

Erin and I would have the spend the rest of our lives in constant fear of men. We'd have to live with the flashes and sounds, and feelings of the nights forever burned into our psyche and memories.

And the piece of crap only got six month's probation.

Even being back here in Nevada, two weeks later, I sat and thought about every second of the trial. If there was something either of us could have said that would have made the punishment equal to the crime committed. But It was useless. Because I knew deep down it wouldn't have mattered. He could have raped hundreds of girls and the most he would have done was a year in prison. He destroyed the little that was left of me months ago, and as hard as I tried to pick up the pieces of me and try and fit them back together, I knew that I would never be the same. None of those pieces would ever fit together the same way.

"Hey," Kayla popped her head into my bedroom. "Stephan wanted to know if you're down to come to the game tomorrow night. He said he wants you there for moral support."

I smiled weakly. "Yeah, of course. Tell him I'll be there."

I could see in her eyes she wanted to talk more, but my brother shouted something from his bedroom, and she flashed me an apologetic grin and headed back in.

"Hey."

I stood slowly and offered Jere a nod in greeting. "Hey. Everything okay?"

"I don't know, is it?" he questioned, leaning into my doorframe with his arms crossed. "You've been icing everyone out and isolating yourself for the last two weeks, Addy. It's not healthy."

"I'm good, Jere." I promised. "Seriously."

He was quiet for a few minutes before he whispered, hardly audible, "We got into ASU."

My head whipped up at the news. "What? That's great, Jere!"

"Yeah." He mumbled, shrugging a shoulder as I walked over to hug him.

"You're not excited?"

He sighed. "It's not that. I think. . . I think I'm scared. I got so used to having Elise and Adam, and your brothers around that it's going to be crazy being up there alone."

"You'll have Johnny." I reminded. "And Kayla."

"Oh, so you mean I'll get to third wheel for anther four years?" he said in an over-enthusiastic tone, fanning himself. "How blessed am I?"

I laughed, swatting his arm with a shake of my head. "You should be happy! That's great news!"

"What about you?" he asked. "Hear anything back yet?"

"I got an acceptance from UNLV, ASU, and UCLA."

He blinked, surprised. "Oh. I didn't know you applied to all of them."

"I didn't think I'd get into any of them."

"How? You're smart, Addy." he shook his head in disbelief. "I'm not surprised at all. Have you made a decision?"

I knew what he wanted to hear. "I'm leaning toward UNLV or ASU. I'm trying for a Bachelor of the Arts in Secondary Education."

"You want to be a teacher?" Jeremiah looked at me as if I were nuts. "Why?"

"I want to be there. Someone for these kids to be able to confide in." I smiled when I met his eyes again. "I want to give them what I never had."

Jere buried one of his hands in my hair and touched the other to the small of my back and gently nudged me closer to him. "You're so beautiful, Addison."

"I'm aware." I mumbled, a half-smile pulling at the right side of my mouth. "But thank you."

"I didn't mean on the outside. You're gorgeous, don't get me wrong." he leaned down so his forehead was against mine. "But you're such a beautiful person inside, Addy. You're so selfless and brave in spite of all the hell you've been through. That's why I love you, Addy."

My eyes flickered from his mouth to his and I closed the distance between us and kissed him. Like the first time, I felt my body relax under his gentle touch, my heart didn't race, but fell into rhythm with his own. Unlike the first, full of impulsiveness and anxiety, this was soft, passionate, and warm. It wasn't until he pulled away and touched one of his palms to my cheek that I finally found what it was that I'd been trying to explain to Elise a few weeks ago.

I'd spent so much of my life wishing for someone to see past my exterior, to love the girl that lay beneath the surface of the pretty face, big boobs, and mommy issues. I had prayed for half my childhood that someone help me out of the hell I was living in. That I could finally have a home again. As I stared into Jere's eyes in the doorway of my bedroom, one of his hands on my face and the other wrapped securely around my waist, I could finally answer Elise in why I loved Jere so much.

Jeremiah was my home.

*

"There's going to be rules." Jacob muttered disgustedly, eying Jere and me on the couch as he leaned into the back of the recliner Shane was currently lounged in. "Because we're stuck with you guys for another four months and I do not want to hear my sister having sex."

"Jacob!" Elise scolded from the kitchen. Jeremiah choked on his sprite, and Jonathan gagged. "Language!"

Jacob rolled his eyes. "Come on! We're all thinking it!"

"I have no desire to have sex any time soon." I eased my brothers anxiety.

Jacob winked, but the smile he flashed told me all of his words had been in good fun. I returned the action, then leaned back into Jeremiah and turned to the reality show on the TV.

By the time my brothers had all drug their selves to bed, my father had come home from work and sent Jeremiah on his way to my brother's room so he could sit and talk to me.

"If you're going to try and sit me down and have The Talk, I think it's a little late for that." I cleared the air before he could open his mouth. "And very much not necessary. I don't. . . I can't. . . it won't happen anytime soon."

"That's not what I wanted to talk about." my father looked as uncomfortable as I felt. "But thanks for that reassurance."

"What's going on?"

Dad shifted so his body was completely in my direction as he shrugged out of the jacket of his tux. "I wanted to apologize."

"Apologize?" I repeated slowly. "Why? For what?"

"Everything." He avoided my eyes. "You spent your entire life in fear, Addison. If I had known, if I—"

I shook my head and cut him off. "Dad, please don't. You couldn't have possibly known and I'm here now. That's what matters. We can't change the past."

"I know, I know." he huffed. "But I'm so sorry, Addison. For all the crap you went through. I also want you to know I'm here too, if there's anything you want to talk about."

I met his eyes and for the first time in my life I saw tears in my father's eyes.

"How much time do you have?" I joked, wiping at my nose.

He raised a brow. "I got all night if you need me."

*

I'm dramatic. There's no way I was stalked and assaulted. There was n way a thirty-year-old man touched me. Of course my cousin hadn't batted an eye in my direction. That was what everyone wanted to believe, what was easier to comprehend. It just wasn't the truth.

As I sat in my room after spilling my entire life story to my father, I felt for the first time that it wasn't my fault. That I wasn't crazy. I took the sadness, the guilt, the horror, the disgust from my father's face and held on to them. Because, as sick as it was, I needed them to ensure I wasn't crazy. I needed them to know that girls like me didn't really ask for it. That it wasn't us. That there were sick men out there.

"Can't sleep?" Jere stepped into my room without as much as a knock on the door and against my father's rules, closed it behind him. I didn't mind. I knew that Jeremiah would never try and push for anything I wasn't comfortable with. "Are you okay, Addy?"

I tore my eyes from the bare wall and turned my head to meet his own. "I told my dad."

"Told him what?"

"Everything."

He blinked "The assault?"

"Everything, Jere." I whispered. "Even stuff you don't know about."

"Well, you'll tell me eventually." He said confidently as he joined me on my bed and dropped an arm over my shoulder. "How'd he take it?"

I considered the mix of emotions that had been on my father's face earlier this evening. "Pretty well, I'd say. I thought for sure he'd book the next flight to Chicago and hunt down all of Mom's sleezy ex boyfriends and Adrian Harvey."

"Addison." Jere whispered.

"Yeah?"

"Are yu okay?"

I'd been asked the same question since I'd arrived here six months ago. I had always lied through my teeth when anyone asked about my mental health, promising it wasn't worthy of concern, when in reality I was struggling beyond comprehension. But for the first time in my ife, there in Jeremiah's arms with my acceptance letters in a pile on my computer desk, when I responded, I truly believed it.

"Yes, I'm okay."