To my immediate relief, walking into school Tuesday morning I was brushed passed just as I had been Monday. The rest of the week was the same-I blended into the scenery outside of the few times Johnny or Jere caught me in the hallway to check in. Unfortunately, my peace and solitude came to an end when Shane messaged me that he'd left early for a doctor's appointment, and I'd need to catch a ride with the rest of the boys. Given that I had absolutely no idea where the twins hung out, I found myself wandering around aimlessly until I found the pool.

            The moment I pushed against the heavy door, I nearly let it slip and hit me in the face.

            The swim team was very much still in here, all roughhousing and splashing one another like children and shouting profanities. I had just started to back out when Jeremiah pressed both his palms flat against the deck and pushed himself out in a quick, swift movement that I would have undoubtedly broken my face with. Seeing their teammate and friend cross the small space, most of the boys looked in my direction and I retreated back into the corner near the door as Jere approached.

            Then, like the immature child he is, he starts to shake his head like a dog trying to shake off water and splashes me. I gasped, shoving my hand against his hard shoulder, then quickly retracted it when I realized what I'd done.

            Grinning, unfazed by my reaction, he asked, "What's up, Addy? You miss me?"

            I fought the same urge to roll my eyes that always seemed to appear in his presence, but the smallest hint of a smile touched at my lips. "Shane had to leave early and he was my ride home. I need to catch a ride with Johnny."

            I shifted uncomfortably under the intense stares of the boys from the pool, and seeing where my uneasiness was stemming from, Jere leaned forward and whispered, "Don't worry, they're looking at me."

            As if to make a point of it, he threw his head back and winked at them. They all started hollering and splashing at Jere. I could feel a smile finally form as Jere shook his head slowly and looked back at me, "Jon should be back any second."

            I nodded and leaned back into the wall. Thankfully, Jere understood social cues and winked before he moved in the general direction of the pool, and once close enough dove in. Not long after he'd rejoined his friends, a creaking noise came from across the room and my brother walked back out, rubbing his hair dry with a red towel. His eyes flickered from the boys to me in the corner, and though he continued toward me, he blinked repeatedly as if he were unsure if I were a figment of his imagination.

            "Hey." he greeted once he'd reached me. "What are you doing here?"

            Though he'd been pretty quiet and distant since my silent confession and his understanding of my situation on Monday, he was well aware being in here was extremely difficult for me. Somehow, though, I found that Jere had managed to make it somewhat tolerable. I'd forgotten for a second where I was.

            "I need a ride home." I mumbled.

            He raised a brow, "Shane ditch you?"

            "He had a doctor's appointment I guess."

            He nodded and muttered something incoherently under his breath before yelling, "Jere, come on!" over his shoulder. We waited ten minutes for Jere to shower and though I'd very much have liked him to put clothes on, he decided that his basketball shorts were enough and the second he returned to us, he pushed his way between my brother and me, his arms dropped over our shoulders.

            I'd like to blame my being uncomfortable for my inability to filter my thoughts, because the moment we were back out in the main hallway, I turned my head slightly and snapped, "Why don't you ever go home?"

            Jonathan coughed quietly, then started to fish for his keys in his pockets. I could feel Jeremiah tense against me, and after a moment he dropped his arm from over my brother and invaded my personal space further. "Here I thought you couldn't get enough of me."

            "Everyone has enough of you, Jere." Jon interjected with a laugh, "Within like five minutes. You're annoying, bro."

            Jere reached out and shoved Jonathan's shoulder, and not wanting to be rude, I took the opportunity to duck out from under his arm and speed up.

            Once I was sure he'd taken the hint, I snuck a quick sideways glance his way and responded. "I was just curious. I've been here a week and you haven't left the house outside of school once."

            "My parents aren't around much." Jere answered shortly, shrugging a shoulder, "Elise and your dad let me crash at your place whenever I want. Which is every night. They don't mind. They just treat me like another kid."

            There was bitterness laced through the first part of his explanation, but I decided to drop it altogether and nodded with a sad smile. "That makes sense."

            Not even five minutes after I'd taken the middle seat in the back seat of the Range Rover, the twins threw themselves in on either side of me in the middle of an argument. Jonathan shook his head and Jere threw his head back against the seat.

            This must have been common.

            Once they'd come to a compromise over what they were fighting over, Gabe turned and looked at me. He'd hardly acknowledged my existence the last week, or maybe he'd been too into his gaming to do so. This was the first time I was getting a good look at him-and saw just how much he looked like his twin. It was uncanny. If he were to grow his hair out, I have no doubt most people would mistake them for one another.

            "Dude, I heard Briggs talking about you earlier." he said. It took me a minute, despite him looking in my direction, to realize he was talking directly to me. I honestly didn't mind his exclamation, it made me feel as though he saw me as another sibling, as just another one of them, that he saw past my exterior. "Make sure you steer clear of him, okay?"

            "Briggs?" I echoed, looking to the back of Jonathan's head for any assistance in explaining who he is. Was that the guy from the cafeteria on Monday?

            It isn't Johnny who responds, but Jere with a quick, irritated look back at Gabe. "He's a jock. Running back for the football team. I'll talk to him tomorrow."

            "Don't do that!" Jon and I exclaimed in unison. The twins both looked between us, confused, but Jere was actually laughing at the strangeness of us speaking the same thing at the same time.

            "Why the hell not?" Jere finally asked, looking from my brother to me in back, "He's try and—"

            I leaned forward with a shake of my head, "It'll make it worse. The more you tell him I'm off limits the more appealing I'll be to him."

            "She's right, man. Let it go. She can hold her own. She knows how to tell them to back off."

            Though I appreciated Jonathan's back up and confidence in me, I flinched at the words that left his mouth. Because as much as I wished I was strong enough to do so, I never had been able to. I had never been able to bat them away left and right as most of the girls and women through my life had, I'd always just stood and taken what they said or did. I thoroughly believe it had a lot to do with what led to my assault.

            "Are you guys going to the bonfire tonight?" Jake asked from my left, changing the subject.

            Confused on what he was talking about, my eyes went back to the front of the car.

            "Yeah, Kayla asked me too." Johnny whispered and for a fraction of a second my mind went back to the girl from the bathroom. Her name had been Kayla, but there wasn't any way it was the same girl, right?

            It also brought to mind the fact that I knew little to nothing about any of these boys. Was Kayla his girlfriend? Did the other boys have one too?

            "You guys know I wouldn't miss it." Jere commented from the passenger seat. When I lifted my head again, he was staring back at me, his eyes a mix of concern and curiosity.

            Jake, obviously feeling as though he were casting me out, nudged me playfully and added, "Hey, maybe you can come too."

            "Oh no, that's not really my scene. Thanks though." I whispered.

            It was my scene a couple years ago. I would have never turned down an invitation to a party to feel as though I belonged to something, that I had friends, even if only temporary.

            "Okay." Jake replied, touching a gentle hand to the top of my own. "We leave at nine tonight if you change your mind. It might help you make some friends though."

            I nodded and thanked him quietly before bowing my head.

            I'd had lots of friends through the years. Those same friends left me stranded multiple times, always tried to gaslight me and invalidate my feelings. The last thing I wanted right now was to try and befriend anyone, I had trust issues beyond comprehension, but I knew my fourteen-year-old brother wouldn't understand that. They didn't live the way I did, didn't understand what it was like. It'd be like trying to explain calculus to a six year old.

            Once I'd pulled myself back into reality, I straightened, and my eyes instantly went to the rearview mirror. The car was stopped at a redlight and Johnny was already staring at me, so the moment I looked our eyes locked and he nodded slowly, as if he were silently reassuring everything was okay. But it wasn't his encouraging look or the lines of concern on his forehead. Nor was it the twins and there desperate attempt to try and involve me in their lives-and activities.

            No, it was Jeremiah twisting in the passenger seat so he was fully facing me and staring at me. Not with concern anymore, or curiosity-hell I would have settled for pity or sympathy. But the boy wasn't even really staring at me, but through me, into me. I felt as though he saw me for who I really was, the sad, depressed little girl trying to claw her way out.