I about sunk to my knees when I walked into the living room a few days before Christmas to find my mother shifting uncomfortably on the recliner.

If that weren't bad enough, Erin sat on the loveseat, eyes trained on the carpet, gnawing at the inside of her bottom lip. I had been texting her since I'd come back from Chicago, and though we'd talked about her coming out to visit next summer before college, she hadn't mentioned a thing about Christmas.

"Hey, Mom I didn't. . . oh." Shane's focus dissipated the minute he spotted Erin across the room. Slowly his eyes flickered to my mother and his entire expression twisted in irritation. It was a look I solemnly saw on him and only intensified my uncertainty.

"Shane, honey, can you please go get your brothers and Jere up?" Elise stood, a sharpness in her tone that had even me straightening as she past me to her middle son. My brother didn't need to be told twice, he offered Erin a weak smile then took off for the stairs, happy to be out of the tension filled room.

I finally pried my eyes from our houseguests and looked at my father. "What's going on?"

"I thought it'd be a great Christmas present." he said, making a wide gesture with his arm toward the two women. "Having them here to celebrate with you. With us."

I felt the very opposite. I felt as though the past I'd been so desperately trying to escape the last five months had come back and hit me full force.

"W. . . why didn't you say anything?" this question was directed at Erin who looked on the verge of tears hearing the hostility in my voice.

She looked rough. Her hair was pinned back, but it was easy to see the tangles she didn't bother to try and brush through. The makeup she'd attempted to put on was already smearing around her eyes and muddy her cheeks.

"I thought it be best to surprise you." she whispered so quietly I had to strain to hear it. "If you want me to go, I—"

"No, no, that's not necessary." Elise waved her hand dismissively as she returned to the living room with two mugs. She rested one in Erin's grasp then a little more hesitantly approached my mother. She got the quietest of a thank you out of my best friend, but my mother didn't even look at her.

To my relief, Jere and Jonathan shot down the stairs and broke the monotony, the twins not far behind down the hall. Erin immediately straightened and her eyes started to widen in disbelief as she took all of my brothers and Jere in. My mother tensed, lips pursed as her eyes swept over all the boys.

Feeling the tension increasing, I stepped forward and gestured toward the boys as I introduced them. "Erin, Mom, this is Jonathan, Shane, Jacob, and Gabe. And that's Jeremiah, Johnny's best friend. Guys, this is my friend Erin and you probably remember my mom."

Clearly not having got the talk from his mother or the memo we weren't allowed to speak our minds, Jonthan brushed past me and looked directly at my father. "Why the hell is she here?"

I flinched hearing the words, uncertain on why my older brother's voice held so much aggression and malice. Sure, my mother was a mess, but he hadn't been the one raised by her.

"Jonathan." Elise warned with a glare. "Enough."

"No." this was Jeremiah, falling into step beside me. "He's right. If you two took a second to look at Addy's expression she is not happy. Given that she made up with her friend when we were in Chicago, I can assume it's because of her mother being here."

I opened my mouth to try and defend, but I couldn't figure out who it was I was trying to stand beside. Did I want to go against my brother and Jeremiah for looking out for me? Did I truly want to defend the women who had quite literally let me live in hell my entire life?

"I would appreciate not being talked to like that by disrespectful children."

Elise straightened beside Dad at the comment my mother made. My father and me exchanged a look, having no doubt that a fight was about to break out.

"You want to talk about disrespect?" Jeremiah snapped. "Or maybe we can talk about neglect? Or absence? Or carelessness? I mean, you guys are here all weekend, I think we have time to talk about it all."

I threw a quick, warning glance at him. "Jere, please."

"At least I raised my daughter to speak to people with respect."

Seeing the flicker of irritation in Jere's eyes, I spun and pressed both palms against his chest and shook my head, whispering, "Don't."

Then without another word to any of the boys, I crossed the room to Erin and grabbed her bag, then looked to my mother. "Come on. I'll show you guys to the guest room and my bedroom."

*

If I hadn't felt my worlds were colliding before, they surely were now. Kayla and Stephan showed up just after twelve. To my relief, Kayla and Erin immediately hit it off, and for the first time since we'd reconciled, I saw my best friend starting to surface again as the girls talked about boys, celebrities, colleges, majors-anything they could think of. Jonathan suggested we head out to the deck so my room didn't get so crammed, and I think the reality finally hit me once Jere threw himself down in a lawn chair a few feet away. I was sharing one of the thicker whicker chairs with Stephan, but just Jere's presence had shifted the air the slightest bit.

"You okay?" Stephan's arm curling around my waist brought me back into reality, and though the gesture was supposed to be comforting, I gently shrugged it off. He immediately retracted it and compromised with lacing his fingers through mine. "You've been quiet all afternoon."

"Just in my thoughts today." I whispered.

I could see by the quick flicker in his beautiful eyes that he wanted to pry, but Erin's voice cut into the conversation before he could.

"So, is it Stephan or Briggs?"

My boyfriend laughed, but his eyes remained glued to me. "I don't really care. Only my mom and Addison really call me Stephan, though."

"Okay, because Addy talks about you all the time and always refers to you as Stephan but all the boys call you Briggs so I was confused."

I felt warmth start to creep up the back of my neck and I shut my eyes to prevent having to see the look Jeremiah was undoubtedly sending our way.

"You're Jeremiah, right?" Erin turned and my eyes immediately followed her to where Jere had tensed in the lawn chair, eying her cautiously, as if he were trying to figure out her motives. After a moment he nodded in response to her question. "It's crazy, you know. Addy used to have this huge entourage of boys trailing after her back home. I thought after what happened she would have sworn them off entirely. But here she is. Having two hot guys pining after her and wrapped around her pretty little finger as usual."

I felt Stephan's grip tighten on my hand, and I could swear everyone held their breath in anticipation of my next words. I couldn't say I was surprised over Erin's decision to start shit. She'd never been a girls girl and she wasn't going to start now, apparently.

"I mean, you should really chill, babe." Kayla feigned disinterest, staring at her nails as she responded. "You're sounding a bit jealous."

Erin's cheeks darkened, and I saw that spark in her eye and started to sit upright, ready to snuff it out.

"Which one of them are you sleeping with?" she snapped at me, pretending as though Kayla didn't exist. "Because last I recall Jeremiah was sleeping in your room, no?"

"Shut up." I said through my teeth.

She didn't back down despite all eyes being on her. "What, does your boyfriend not know he sleeps in bed with you?"

"Erin!" my voice had rose but Stephan refused to release me from his grip.

"Babe, just chill. It's fine." he assured, tugging at my arm. "She's just jealous."

I shook off his hand and crossed the small space between us to where Erin was standing at the foot of an empty lawn chair. "You're never going to change, are you? I thought having been through what I had, you'd understand the hell I live in. But you don't. You're too caught up in yourself to spare even a second to think about anyone else."

"You play this poor innocent little victim!" Erin growled, shoving me hard. "Like you didn't sit there and flirt with every guy. Like you didn't dress like a slut every day."

"The way a girl dresses isn't open invitation for anything!" I cried. "You're a woman, Erin. You should be on my side!

She stepped forward and pointed her finger accusingly at me. "It isn't fair! It's not fair that all the boys wanted you. That you got off with tickets and the principal just by batting your lashes and showing cleavage. You said you never wanted to exploit yourself or your body, but you did! You're just like your mom!"

I lifted my hand, ready to smack her, but a hand caught my wrist. Shaking them off, my fingers curled into a fist at my side and I shook my head. "I was raped, Erin. I was raped and I don't remember a Goddamn thing about it."

"I do!" she slapped her palm flat against her chest. "I remember your screams, your pleas and cries for help. But all his fucking friends just stood outside the door, blocking anyone from getting in and you from getting out. I remember him looking at me once he was finished with you."

I fell back a step with each word she shouted, tears falling so fast that they were starting to soak my neck.

"I do remember what he did, Addy! I remember the weight of his body on top of me, the warmth of his breath, the smell of alcohol lingering in the air hours afterward. I remember his hands locked around my wrists and pinning me to the bed, his knee nudging my legs apart." she choked on her words, then grabbed my arms with a look of desperation. "I remember his hand around my throat as he threatened me. If I spoke a word about what he'd done to either of us he threatened to do unimaginable things, Addison. I spend every day looking over my shoulder at school, scared he'll walk out from the shadows and go for the kill."

I reached out for Erin but she fought against my grip. To my surprise Stephan caught her before she could take off for the house and he restrained her against his chest, staring at me with a sympathetic look over her shoulder. She fought against him for a couple seconds before her body gave out completely and she sunk into him, her sobs the only sound heard in the backyard.

*

"Look, I know I should have comforted you and left your brother or Jeremiah to handle her, but she looked so broken and—"

"Stephan." I interrupted, touching my palm to his chest with a shake of my head. "Stop. It's okay. I'm glad you were there for her."

He brushed my hair, the ends still damp with tears, from my face and shook his head. "But you're my girlfriend. You should have been my priority. I'm sorry."

"It's okay." I repeated, forcing a smile. "I appreciate what you did for her, seriously."

"I better get home." he leaned forward and kissed me softly, his thumb caressing my cheek. "Call me if you need me okay?"

"Yeah." I probably would, especially after the shitshow tonight was-and having to deal with my mom at some point. "Text me when you're home, okay?"

He nodded and kissed me quickly again before he stepped out on to the front porch and shut the door behind him. When I turned I found Jeremiah on the last step of the staircase, arms crossed over his legs, stone faced, his eyes still ono the door Stephan had just walked out of.

"Jere." I didn't mean for it to leave me in a whimper, but it did. His eyes found mine again and they softened. He knew what I'd be met with once I was upstairs. "I need you."

He didn't hesitate and stood as I approached, wrapping me in his familiar embrace and burying a hand in my hair. I breathed in the security of the hug, knowing the minute I pushed away that I'd be having to face a fire a hell of a lot hotter than what burned an hour ago.